Reassurance please ladies

[Suzysetch]

Hello ladies - this is my first post ever and I am a little nervous so please bear with me. Me and my hubby are trying for a baby - I came off of Microgynon 4 months ago after being on it for 17 years. I am trying to do everything right, eating healthy, we don't smoke, we don't drink much but as of yet nothing. I am trying not to be impatient but I can't help worrying. I went to my doctors for something completely unrealated this week and mentioned to her that we were trying for a baby and I was worried because of how long I had been on the pill and my age (I'm 33 - hubby is 34) and she told me that until we have been trying for a year she doesn't want to see us again.

Is there anyone out there my age and in my situation? Do you think if I haven't conceived in a couple of months time (by then I will have been trying for 6 months) that I should go back to the docs?

Sorry to go on, I know worrying is bad for me and isn't helping so I would really love some reassurance or advice.

[Sleeplesssister]

Chill, 4 months is nothing. Had my DD at 32 having been on pill for a similar amount of time. Your body needs time to reset. Stop thinking about it (tricky I know) and go back and see the docs at a year, they will take you seriously then, but not before.

I had an issue with a fibroid so it took me 18 months to get pg, but now have lovely toddler and difficulties ttc seem like a bad dream. You are very very early doors. Oh and my DH is 37. No worries.

[eurochick]

Hi Suzy,

The standard guidelines here are that you should go to your GP after a year of trying (unless you are over 35 and then it is 6 months) so your GP was telling you the standard info. I know it seems like a really long time. The stats say that 80% of couples will get pregnant within a year, so if you just keep going, it is much more likely that you will get pregnant in that time than you will not.

It's still very early days. Did your periods come back straight away after stopping the Pill? Are they regular? Do you think you are ovulating (some women can feel it or you can test for the pre-ov hormone LH with test sticks or take your temperature - none of these definitely prove you are ovulating but give you an indicator as to whether you probably are or not)? Are you having enough sex? Are you having enough sex at the right time in the cycle?

It really is very early days and I am not trying to stress you but these are some of the things to think about if you want to make sure things are moving in the right direction.

[Suzysetch]

Thank you ladies - I guess I am just being impatient but you know what it's like when you want it so badly. I get so down my my period arrives even though I promise myself that I wont. Since stopping my pill I have had a period each month but my cycle is a bit erratic ranging from 19 days to 28 so there is no regular pattern. I read on the internet that when you are ovulating your cervical mucus changes consistancy and I recognise that in myself so try to have sex at this time but I don't feel it.

[Stasi]

Hi Suzy

I'm 30, and have been trying for over a year now, most of the people on here will tell you not to worry, and that 4 months is nothing. In a way they're right, but it's all relative. I'm sure you started this thinking you'd get pregnant straight away. I know I did.

Some advice though -
It takes a while for your body to get back to it's natural cycle after coming off the pill. I discounted the first 3 months of ttc for this reason (but I was still trying!).

If you want to feel a bit more in control, consider getting an accurate thermometer (reading to .0 or .00 accuracy) and start taking your temperature every morning as soon as you wake up. Chart this through one of many free tools available. You can get apps for your phone, or use an online charting tool like Fertility Friend (.com), who when you sign up will also send you emails with a free charting 'course' teaching you about the hormonal changes through the cycle, and how to tell when you should time your 'SWI' to get pregnant.

Having a chart of your temperature, intercourse and ovulation/period dates will also help if, down the line, you do have a problem. If over the next few months you find out (for example) you're not ovulating every month, your doctor will more likely listen to you as you'll be equipped with evidence.

Honestly though, 'normal' couples shouldn't start worrying for at least 6 months.

Hope this helps, and welcome.

[Suzysetch]

Hi Stasi

Thank you so much, I am so glad I have come on Mumsnet to be able to chat with you guys you are such a reassurance. The trouble is I read so many stories about ladies who fall pregnant straight away or watch films/tv with people falling pregnant first time and you kind of start feeling like your the only one.

Am considering getting one of those ovulation kits which tell you when you are ovulating as my cycle is so erratic I can't judge when I am mean't to be at my most fertile

[KatAndKit]

You aren't the only one. The films are fiction. It wouldn't be very exciting if they all spent 9 months trying. 4 months really is nothing to worry about. Even after six months you shouldn't really be worrying about it, unless you are over 35. Even if you are over 35, six months is not anything to worry about, but some of the doctors allow you to get in the investigations system at that stage. In your case they are likely to send you away to keep on trying!
Once you get past six months, you may want to consider ovulation testing so that you feel like you are doing something. If you are having sex three times a week you don't need to do ovulation testing, but I personally found it helpful and reassuring. If you have the money for it, the Clearblue fertilily monitor can help you with understanding when you are fertile. You can get them cheaper on ebay and the sticks are also cheaper online.
But, if you have sex at least 3 times a week, you will catch your fertile period whenever it happens.
Do remember though, even if your timing is spot on perfect, you still only have a 25% chance of pregnancy that month. A lot of it is entirely out of your control I'm afraid.
good luck and hope you get there soon.

[KatAndKit]

Also your age isn't an issue. 33 is absolutely fine to be having a baby. Well, it had better be as I am 33 too. I had a couple of miscarriages before this pregnancy but I managed to conceive this one fairly quickly.

[DialMforMummy]

Hi there, do not worry at all. Having been on the pill DOES NOT reduce your chances of being pregnant, the moment you stop, you are no longer protected.
It took us 6/7 months the first time, I was older than you then (34).
The best thing to do is to shag as much as possible and to relax about the whole thing. IMO measuring temp,ovulation sticks etc add pressure and stress (not helpful when TTC) and take the romance out of it.
And I am quoting from my mate who is an IVF specialist.

[Suzysetch]

Thanks guys - really appreciate your advice. It truly is a comfort being able to chat with people in the same situation