Come and tell me the good things about stopping ttc

[twolittlemonkeys]

Apologies in advance, I'm feeling quite negative after getting a BFN yesterday and am starting to think I should stop ttc and just concentrate on the children I have. I know I am fortunate to have 2 children (1 Clomid baby, 1 miracle!) who get on brilliantly.

Am on 100mg of Clomid, this was my 3rd cycle - I had a MC first month, BFN last month, and now another BFN. I can't do unlimited cycles of Clomid and the infertility clinic I was attending closed down yesterday (although the kind fertility nurse gave me another 6 months of Clomid at my last appointment with instructions to see my GP if I was unsuccessful, prior to her leaving for another job). However, from what I've read Clomid is generally only given for max 6 cycles and it's apparently often not worth doing more than 4.

Half of me really badly wants another child, the other half wants to shut off my maternal instincts, sell all the baby gear and move on with fully enjoying the next stage of my children's lives without the distraction and disappointment of ttc. On a purely rational level we have a 3 bed house, DS1 & 2 have their own rooms, if we stop here we have no need to buy a bigger car, they get on so well and another child (with a larger age gap) could upset the dynamic somewhat. We're not that well off, and if we lost CB and CTC altogether (which with this govt is quite possible) we'd really struggle and have to downsize. I just can't quite shake the feeling that my family isn't complete yet. I'm turning 30 in April so although I have time on my side, I had always said I wanted to have my kids by 30. Can anyone please give me more reasons to stick at 2?

[PrincessScrumpy]

My friend tried for dd2 for 3 years and nothing happened. She stopped trying and 3 months later was pg.

Take the stress off and enjoy the 2 you have - let fate do the rest.

or, start a thread called horrific childbirth experiences and read them - that might put you off a bit xx

[goingmadtrying]

This sounds quite like my story, I too have 2ds but desperately feel like were not complete, we also live in a 3 bed house but my oldest is desperate for bunks so this solves this problem, we have quite big cars but this govmnt do worry me, were not well off bur comfortable I have a good job working weekends and we have a good family support network, I've decided to stay off the pill and just see if it happens, I'm not sure you could turn the feelings off so maybe you should just see how it goes x goodluck

[twolittlemonkeys]

Maybe I won't do another cycle of Clomid for now and just leave it to fate. I think the Clomid I have has about 3 yrs left until it expires so if the desire for children increases with time we can try again. Obviously if the Clomid doesn't do the trick we're not entitled to ICSI on the NHS (and rightly so). I just wish I could know whether it was ever going to happen for us or whether I could just wave goodbye to the baby days, Ebay the baby stuff (could probably go on holiday with what I'd get for it all!) and throw myself into life with my boys without yearning for another. Argh. Sorry for such a self-indulgent post.

Like you gmt, my boys could easily share a room and we'd be fine in our house although I suspect if we had 3 kids when they reached teenage years it would feel too cramped.

[goingmadtrying]

I do think about that but we may win the lottery house prices may change so we can afford a 4 bed house alot of what ifs but I'm sure we would cope hopefully if it happens lol! Good luck with your ttc I'm sure it will happen soon :)