thank you for suggestions for the remote controlled cars.

I do think its slightly different though if you don't have huge families/friends who buy for your children.

I make sure my children have a big pile of pressies but i cheat a bit - so pj's, new pants/socks/slippers/wellies etc all get wrapped up even though i'd have bought them anyway.

I don't do plastic tat though - and to be honest my children seem to have far fewer toys in total than most of their friends.

Such a good thread! In the past I have been guilty for spending way more than we could afford on Christmas pressies. The result - a house strewn with toys that never get played with that I have to tidy up and somewhere to store.
This year we are REALLY broke. I have HAD to stick to a tight budget - but I am actually glad. With 6 kids in the house we already have SO many toys! The baby is going to get toys that DD4 had grown out of that I had pt away in the loft. I am telling the othe kids it was a special arrangement I made with santa clause!

LOL. Next to "dolls house" on my DD's list to santa, is "chocolate".

They really don't make any distinction, do they?

Danae - we got this Noddy remote control car for DS last Christmas. He was only 1.4 then, but we figured he'd enjoy experimenting and watching it zoom around. And he did. Now he's a year older and can operate it himself really well - he hares it around in circles for ages and ages. The only thing is the beep has stopped working, which is a shame, but all in all it's pretty robust. I don't set much store by the 3+ tag - that goes for any remotely interesting toys IME. Highly recommended.

I've mentioned this before, but my 9-yr-old DS will tell anyone that his Favourite Ever Christmas present last year was his special pillow in music-patterned fabric. I have never seen a child's face truly light up so much before.

DH (who'd slogged to distant shops in pouring rain for the perfect Knex kit) was understandably miffed...

Ds is the only child in my family too. I have 2 sisters who buy him so much all year round. Most of his stocking presents are pants, socks, hats etc.

He really wants a tv in his room but I really don't want him to.

His first Christmas list had about 20 things on it. I told him he could choose three to put in his letter to santa. The others I have asked my family to get in the hope that he gets things he really wants (although, they'll still get him a ton of other stuff!!).

After reading this I think I might keep a couple of things for his birthday in the Summer.

I had the same revelation in October when we decorated DDs room - same thing, lots of stuff untouched and she couldn't remember what she had been given. DS aged 3 this ear had so many cars/tractors/trucks last year that we count house them all and donated some to local hospital.

This year they have 1 main present each and a stocking and that's it. We have brought a couple of family DVDs that we all like and it's been quite liberating!!!

We visited a family last Christmas Day evening and the kids had got so much stuff that they had literally not yet opened/played with a huge pile of gifts. I was and at the excess...

I sorted out DS2's bedroom last week to make way for his new art table for xmas. He has a cabin bed and underneath was still unopened games/boxes of toys.

- I must confess I think the DS's are getting quite a bit this year. I've bought them a big main present to share (well DS1 and 2) and was going to get them on or 2 smaller things to open for themselves, well it's turned into quite a few extra little things - although I haven't spent or borrowed money I didn't have (infact some of the stuff was given to me for free to give to the DS's - THANK YOU PEACHY)

They don't usually get a lot at Christmas (or birthday' for that matter) but I think I've gone OTT this year .

My excuses are

1. It's the first Christmas since exH and I split up, so it's going to be totally different for them

2. I'm only getting them for part of the day (going to exH's mid/late afternoon - for the night) so want to spoil them for the bit I do have them

3. They're not really going to be getting presents from anyone else.

I shall tone it down again next year

You're quite right. DD is the only one of her generation on both sides of the family so gets tons and tons from gps, uncles, aunt etc.

We always try to get her one main present, and let everyone else know what other things she wants, or if we need something to go with the main one. HOWEVER I am extremely stupid and about half way through the year I start seeing odd little things which I think she'll love and would do in a stocking and when Xmas comes I find I have 932 things for her!

My DS is only 14 months but all I have got him is a toy phone! He loves phones and they're the first thing he goes for at nursery, soft play etc. While it's tempting to go berserk I am telling myself that he'll be writing lengthy pricey lists soon enough so I'd be wise to spend the money on other things while I can!

Oh actually I've got a few books too but I bought them ages ago to keep for Christmas.

Maybe £30 altogether.

The things that I remember getting for Christmas were the things like coloured pencils/pens/felt tips/soaps/books and unusual bits and pieces that would be considered stocking items (as a child of the eighties I remember with joy getting a hand decorated Kraft margarine tub filled with assorted scented erasers in the shape of fruit, hotdogs, milk cartons etc). The bigger things like a bike or some faddish thing I had my heart set on, I just can't remember now.

One year I wanted a Carebear really badly because of the craze for them and then never played with it...because after all it was just another dumb cuddly toy. I think the same year I got a very basic tape recorder/player and spent ages with my friends for years afterwards making our own "radio shows" and so on.

One year all my little bro wanted from Father Christma was a bubblegum dispenser 2p money box and a roll of sellotape!

Danae my ds had the one that rudolph has done a link to and it was really sturdy. We got rid as he outgrew it. It was amusing too as quite often the tv remote would activate it???

now dd is 8, I am just stumped for ideas, beyond books. Have really been wracking my brain for something to get and feeling totally uninspired.

We made the mistake of just buying too much in past years when she did not yet have every last thing she might conceivably play with. However she will be expecting a heap probably as that is what she has always had IYSWIM. Best not to overdo it from the beginning

danae how about this one?

Dd is getting too much this year, we can afford more this year and it has been a tough year for both dd's (finding out they have ASD). Dd says she only wants a playmobil park and play-dough ice cream shoppe so would be happy with just that.

Most of what they got last year did get played with as i don't buy for them in the year (apart from something small for birthdays).

My dp was upset a couple of years ago ,we were struggling and he lost his job a week before xmas , one of my friends was chatting to him and asked him to reel off all the presents he ever got for xmas as a child he could only think of a few ... but he could remember lots of happy memories about christmas and traditions but many of them did not include gifts he got .

Oh Danae i've seen one somewhere, but cant for the life of me remember where!

Havent been shopping much so it cant be too hard....have you tried toys r us, wilko, or tesco. That is about the extent of where i have been but i have def seen one as debated about getting it for my DS. It was really sturdy - too ideal for under three.

This is the holy grail.

Too many presents = over stimulation, present fatigue, ultimately boredom

Too few or too worthy = dull, unexciting, disappointing

Just right - The Wow Factor

Now how to source the Wow Factor for a child who is very language delayed i.e. can't tell me precisely what it is they love doing/having.

actually, I can think of one thing but have no idea where to get it. A remote controlled car suitable for an under three. DD is so not a girly girl, very logical & empirical (both DH and I are scientists so our gene pool may be to blame), obsessed with a remote control car her cousin has but it's probably not robust enough to survive her learner driving.
Now that just might make her face light up.
just the one thing. But it has to be the Right Thing.

Box of tissues for baby is such a good idea! I might do that with a pack of wipes for ds3 (2.8yo). I think you need a wow factor too,and also to manage expectations with a letter from Santa explaining if he's not planning to bring something that dc is expecting. Mine are sure they're going to get what they asked for unless they get a letter from Santa to steer expectations.

I think things like snakes and ladders or connect 4, and suchlike games that you can't easily break or forget how to play are really good presents and are used for years.

DS just had his birthday and we bought him snakes and ladders - he's 5. It's his best present ever. He got the 'big' stuff from his gps and I think they went totally overboard, technical lego, that sort of thing. He was so delighted to get a board game...It made me think, I have no perspective where presents are concerned; and we should all be coming down a notch or three where spending is concerned, at least for now while he's young.

Danae - just to set your mind at ease.
I have a 4.5 yo and she isn't that pushed about christmas.
Well meaning people who ask her about Santa are met with a blank stare. She's just begining to understand that Father Christmas gives presents to children who are asleep.

We are not very consumerist and have no TV either, Oh, and we are Buddhist!

We do have a tree and she loves the lights. I still haven't got her anything this year. She got some second hand clothes last year - I think.. And her grandad got her a cash register and groceries last year and she plays with it at least once a week - the groceries are used to feed her lovies at least every two days.

In her 4.5 years we have accumulated three storage boxes of toys that are played with again and again, and one chest of drawers of clothes - we make regular drops of bits and bobs DD has out grown to friends' kids, and that's all. DD has her own bookshelf, and chooses which book to read herself.

No plastic fantastic tat here! And it's not missed

Not only have I read that Swanriver, but I make a point of reading to the DCs every year right before Christmas. Gets them in the correct frame of mind

Has anyone read the scene in Little House on the Prairie where Mary and Laura get a penny a tincup a stick of candy, and a fairy cake made with white sugar in their Christmas stockings? They are overwhelmed with joy.

"It was better once its batteries ran out though and it stopped crying"

Ah, so it IS just like a real baby

Lol at me trying to sound experienced at this. I've only done 2 Christmases (first didn't count present wise really) and I'm sure it can only get harder.

Now swanriver, that is very true as well. My parents are obsessed with not spoiling DS, to the point that they're reluctant to buy any toys at all. DH's mother doesn't do presents so we are very aware that the only toys he is likely to get will be from us. We have tried to find the right balance between fun/play value and longevity - this is hard as he's only 2.4. Then we'll get him a couple of smaller things to go around the tree. Last year it worked, thank God.

With the stocking I tend to go for a few small but good items (this year it's two books, a torch, and a couple of other things) rather than tat.

It's quite tricky, actually, finding the balance between being sensible and being mean.

Actually I'm not telling the truth. The Rainbow Glow Bear with magic wand was a fantastic success for the next 6 months, and so was Baby Annabel which has been played with for last 3 years despite being as heavy as a real baby. It was better once its batteries ran out though and it stopped crying.

Could not agree more. DD (11 months) is getting a box of tissues she can pull out one by one without anyone taking the box away because she is wasting them. DH and I are getting a few books from a secondhand bookshop and I have bought him the Glasvegas CD because he specifically mentioned it.

I've just got off the phone with my mum after finally managing to convince her that yes, the only things my DH wants for Christmas are a sock hanger for the washing line and some gourmet flavoured salt.

Money isn't tight, I just hate tat and clutter and am aghast at waste. PILs used to send absolute garbage novelty presents (fibre optic plastic cactus, ice crusher, paper plane launcher and a light-up Christmas tree that plugs into your USB port all arrived one year) until I chucked a complete paddy about landfill and peak oil. When their granddaughter is living through the economic nuclear winter of $800/barrel crude, I don't want her to know that her grandparents thought oil should be used to make light-up plastic cacti.

When dcs were very small (2.5 and 4.5) we decided not to buy very much because all their relatives were going to give them presents. We were in the middle of nowhere. On Xmas eve ds2 2.5 suddenly announced that Santa was bringing him a yellow lorry. We were absolutely horrified as he was only getting small amount of duplo farm pieces. Next morning relatives' presents proved to be highly educational and boring (books, trousers, jigsaws). Poor ds2 kept asking where his yellow lorry was, and why santa had not brought it. We were so upset by this betrayal of our poor little toddler's trust in Santa ( - had to rush out on boxing day and buy a horrible lorry from newsagent - only place open) that we never dared to be quite so frugal again. So I do think there needs to be a WOW factor to Christmas. That is why I am buying dd the dreaded Password Journal, which she has been begging Santa to get her for the last 2 months.
But basically all electrical toys are thoroughly boring and never last long. Last year's worst presents (unfortunately from us/(dh) were High School Musical Dance Mat, and Dr Who Voice Changer. Both made a dreadful racket and were tedious, large and caused fights.

Freckly. That would have really upset me.

I'm pleased to report that DS is still very happily playing with his Christmas presents from last year (all two of them barring little stocking fillers - he's still playing with those too). Less is more, definitely.

I think I try to go for quantity... <desperately trying not to contradict myself>

whats wrong with camping

I don't actually do Big and This Year myself as suffer from that dilemma of fine balance between enough and too much.

Message withdrawn

TV rots your brain. You are missing nothing!

Big and This Year

<breaks into a sweat>

This is where i go wrong.
I am a nerd.
IO have no t.v.
I am a crap, useless mother and will scar DD for life because I am so out of touch.
<wails and reaches for the Baileys>

Lucky you! Peas for lunch sounds cool - there is a fab book about peas - 'Eat Your Peas' by Kes Gray, illustrated by Nick Sharratt. 'Pizza Kittens' by Charlotte Voake is funny on peas as well - Dad makes loads!! Lauren Child does peas in 'I will not ever never eat a tomato' No idea how I became a pea expert!!

Excellent point, freckly, and I totally agree. I bought the last of ds's Christmas present today - two gorgeous photo board books in a charity shop, 20p for the two. I'd rather spend a little money on things I know he'll love, rather than expensive plastic crap that has no play value.

Not sure! Something Big and This Year. Instead, I got Plasticraft.

My mum and dad were lovely, btw.

I cleared out the DS's palyroom. I got rid of 3 bin bags worht ( 2 to charity) - the boys haven't even noticed.

Tinker what did you yearn for?
<frets some more at inability to read own child's mind>

I agree that the cheap stocking filler crap is just not worth it.

Good point. But I do remember always being disappointed with how little I felt I got [horrid child] And I never felt I ever really got a great xmas present [getting bitter now]

This is making me feel a little better as i am wracking my brains for something to get for DD age 2.5 I've asked her and she said 'peas for lunch' and 'hugs'. She has Brio train set, Duplo, a wooden ride on trike and books and doesn't play with much else. Should i just save my money for next year instead? she's not even that wild about the tree with its lights. not much reaction at all. Have I the most laid back two year old on the planet or am i doing something wrong?
<worries>
<frets some more>

I agree it is really shocking - we did also take masses of stuff to the charity shop, recycled clothes etc, but some of what went in the skip was things like stocking fillers, craft sets where they had made the things then did not want to keep them. I am not proud of it - and this year made a careful budget, cut out almost all short-term junk.

Lightshines at throwing 6 week old toys in a skip!!
Could you not have charity shop/donated them ??
Reminds me of when we took dc to park and there was a skip with lot's of toys in kids on park were having free for all and i wanted to offer them on freecycle saying go to skip at ...........

Zipa - loving the holiday idea. Holidays they will remember, my Little Pony etc, maybe not!

Thanks, freckly. We moved house in February this year. And I am ashamed to admit that we filled a whole skip. And that some of what went in that skip had been bought at Christmas just 6 weeks before. I made the kids watch as they took it all away, and made the point then and there that we all needed to make much more careful choices about how we spent our hard-earmed £££££s!

I ebayed a lot of ds xmas pressies from last year from me. A lot not even played with and when ds opened his wardrobe he asked if i had tidied his room this year he has practical things , football boots , kit , socks etc and a couple computer games. Have learnt not to waste my money eventually!!

I have just got back from Toys'r'us and couldn't find a single thing that my dts would play with and get my mnoneys worth out of, so I'm back off to Wilko's tomorrow and buy their presents for £10 and be done with it.

They have loads of family and friends, I'm sure the kids won't miss out.

I may put the money to one side towards a better holiday next year, not camping!

Get things you were going to get anyway, like books that they'll like and that will get read over and over.

Mind you, it's nice to get one piece of plastic tat that will make their eyes light up when they rip off the paper.

Good point Freckly.

Last year my dd used one craft kit for months on end that her Aunt bought. Much of the rest of it has been forgotten (apart from the chocolate coins in her stocking!)

A mate of mine has bought her dc 2 presents each this year (costing around £10 per child) plus small stocking fillers. As she says, they get enough presents from relatives.

excellent point - shall forward to my mil

Thank you for that. Will make me put my purse back in my bag over next few days every time I see some cheap piece of plastic crap I think might amuse them for half an hour, even though I promised myself I would stop shopping weeks ago. Well said!

totally agree. I used to spend tons as had money but one year ds2 played all day with the pound shop soldiers from his stocking.
A friend of mine's got into debt to buy a dinosaur worth £225 that I just know her dd won't play with for that long.

I don't have as much cash now but have got the kids things I know they'll play with.

It is not just the kids who cannot remember what they got for Christmas - I had to really really wrack my brain to remember what I got for Christmas last year! I think that proves how ridiculous all the over spending and commercialism is.

I have only bought one present to each of my 3 older children for around £10 and the baby gets nada. That's how mean I am. Totally agree with you.

I always remember getting far too much at Xmas and never really appreciating it. I think its far better to get children fewer more useful things than excess.

Last year I bought my DS and DD (5 and nearly 3 back then )a fair amount of stuff.

Without wanting to be precise about amounts etc, there was one large main present, a stocking, several parcels in addition to many other gifts from aunties, friends etc.

I know this was more than many people can and do get for many reasons, tbh it was an exceptional year and I was fortunate to have a bit of a windfall which I spent on the kids knowing I would not be doing it every year as I dont usually have the money.

Today I had a clearout and tidy up of ds room and it struck me that much of this stuff meant not much, had not been played with much at all. They had stuck with the same stuff they always liked before. So I asked when ds got home, very casually, what he got off Santa last year.

And the only thing he could remember was Strawberry Haribo. And the wooden santa puppet. And after prompting, his main present. But mainly it was the Haribo that he remembered.

That is it really, I just wanted to pass this on to anyone who feels the urge to go out this week and spend or borrow money they have not got as I have done in the past.