DS1 is 8/ DS2 is 5. They have identical presents in their advent calendars. We're on morning 3,. For teh 3rd day in a row DS2 has been picking at his paper and trying to unwrap it and DS1 has announced the contents in a spectacularly smug fashion This morning I said in a nice kind "here's an idea" kind of way that DS1 ought to give ds2 a 10 second head start so he has a chance of finding out what is in there before blabber chops announces it.
DS1 went POSTAL . I've never seen a tantrum like it. It lasted all teh way to school and he actually yelled at me on our way up the kindergarten steps. I had to take him aside and have STRONG WORDS.
He has always had a real problem with Christmas and Birthday over excitement. He's like Tinsel - all static and fuzzy and can't quite cope but this is NASTY. He stormed off to his school line with the immortal words "An advent calendar is a privilege not a right" ringing in his ears.
How do I deal with this?

Can you mix up the presents so they get different on different days although end up with the same presents in the end (IYSWIM)?

Open in different rooms? Whilst they are getting dressed or something? If there is space. Give DS2 earplugs?! Rearrange advent calendar presents so they are all on different days?

My mum bought DD (2) an advent calendar. DD cannot get the only-one-square a day thing so I have just put it away. Why stress over something that should be fun. Now clearly this will not work for older children, I am not being that dopey, but something similar that takes the stress out of it?

"He's like Tinsel - all static and fuzzy"

Sorry probably no constructive ideas as I only have one to deal with! What if you make ds2's packaging "looser" so that he can tear it off quicker?

I think he's old enough to behave better (and I'm speaking as one whose ds1 has had legendary tantrums!) Tell him if he doesn't do it your way, the calendar goes in the bin. End of.

sibling rivalry is fierce. If I mix it up one will want what the other has. I was about to do it but then I pictured the scene...<sigh>

Then if he can't open it fairly ie not telling his DB what the present is he has to wait until his DB has opened his before he gets his turn. It'll be carnage but he'll only do it once

Mine have their Advent calendars when they come out of school. Something to look forward too and saves me having to pack a snack.

Give the younger child their calendar first and when he has opened it, let the older one have it.

Blimey - I used to share one advent calendar with my 2 brothers!!! I'd honestly hold back his calendar until he learns to behave better.

Can they take turns opening theirs first?

ds2 finishes at 11:20 and ds1 at 2pm. That'd be unbearable too. I am deffo letting DS2 open his 1st tomorrow. I don't even think it's anything that exciting tomorrow. I am the 2nd child. I have a big brother. I can remember moments like these from when I was a kid. I always err on teh side of the 2nd child

8 is too old for this. Tell him you will bin it if this continues, but before you get to the threat, try to get him to see things from DS2s point of view and point out tht it doesn't matter if DS2 sees it first, he will still get one.

I make my two share, always have, they take it in turns to open the window and cut the chocolate in half

i would say to him that
1) it isn't fair to ruin the surprise for ds2 by telling him what the present is

2) if he is incapable of keeping quiet until ds2 has opened his then he will have to wait and open his later.

3) if he has a tantrum or speaks to you like that again over it he will lose the advent calendar full stop.

4) this is NOT negotiable

let them alternate days.

hes 8 years old...you are not asking the world of him...hes about to get a treat!!!

mind you my oldest is 4 so i don't know what i'm talking about, but he understands the concept of turn taking with his little brother and tantrums ARE NOT ALLOWED!!!

give the younger one scissors
packing tape and a gag?
bribe him?

i dread this kind of thing and its fast approaching

I'd take the advent calendar off him for a day. Just have it gone when he gets home and make him watch his brother open his.
Let him have it back when he can appreciate it properly.

But maybe I'm draconian

I would do exactly as thisisyesterday.

Agree with thisisyesterday. But if you're looking for more practical suggestions then a couple of layers of parcel tape swathed around each of DS1's presents ought to do it.

No good ideas. But I can tell you, we do picture advent calendars. DS2's one, yesterday, had the door in some woman's skirt.

He was very that the picture behind wasn't her bum and some poo.

We do a picture advent calendar too, and we only have one and they take it in turns. It's a lovely one that comes with a story with one chapter a day and the picture is related to the story.

When I was little it we also shared a picture one, only there were three of us. I remember Mum had to keep a note of who got the prized no. 24 each year so that it was fair.

(Sorry, I realise that sounds a bit 'cardboard box in middle of t'road)

Can you loosen your DS2's doors so he they are easier for him to open?

I'd still be having extremely stern words with your DS1 along the lines of what thisisyesterday says.

Good luck ...

Otherside - we had one between the 3 of us, taking it in turns, And we had the same advent calender for years and years. Mum would iron the doors down again ready for next year. Only they never shut properly

(and a cardboard box! You were lucky, we had a paper bag)

JammyQueen, I know you are not serious about the paper bag.

But I can't tell whether you are serious about your mum with the iron.

I am very serious about my mum with the iron. We had the same angel calender for years running. I think my parents just thought it was wasteful to get a new one each year? But honestly, the doors never shut properly so you could quite easily see the picture inside, and after a few years I knew waht was coming anyway.

Sounds like my Mum. Mine also saved all the Christmas wrapping paper from one year to the next - despite it being that awful flimsey, transparent paper - we knew what we had before we opened it . Plus she always used leftover, second-hand Christmas paper for my birthday in early Feb! Kids today don't know they're born......

<hijack> otherside of the channel, what is your advent calendar? i like the idea of a bit of text a day

It came with 'Pomme d'Api' a magazine that my DCs subscribe to (in French) but it a lovely idea and I might make my own one next year if I can't find another one.

Could you wrap DS1's gifts in an extra 3 layers of paper with lots of sellotape so it takes him longer to open it?

Next year, just buy one advent calendar and make it all pictures.

Well if ds2 finishes earlier than ds1, can they both open theirs when they get in? If ds2 can't keep quiet about what he got then at least ds1 might start to understand.

My eldest is 6, and if she'd behaved like that yesterday she wouldn't be getting one today. Not that we do presents in Advent calendars - they have pictures (slightly mystifying ones this year - surely you don't normally get a baby Jesus till the last window?)

Although I see you posted on Wed - so how did it go?

well neither of them got it this morning but iot was through unrelated misdemeanors. They can have it when DS2 gets home if both moods have improved.
I can't welch on teh advent calendar and go paper as I was brought up with a prezzie one. My brother had one 41 years ago. They're a huge family tradition. <sigh>
The run up to Christmas is SO HARD for my 2. <sigh>

don't get them one each. Get them one to share.