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Mumsnet Discussions: Christmas '08 : What would be the ^worst^ and most unsuitable Christmas present you could possibly receive? (179 messages)
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Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By moondog on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:45:03
For moi I think gift set of cheap oil 'infused' with some grass herbs along with some dried out spices and a crap mortar and pestle.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By moondog on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:45:49
Also big boxs of chocolates (yuck) and a wine box of something like Piesporter or Country Manor.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By moondog on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:46:24
Bored board games partic. drinking ones.
Why on earth do I need an excuse to drink?
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By ilovetochat on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:48:47
i've had earings off my uncle before and have never had my ears pierced. had 9 bottles of wine last year and i was bf so wasn't drinking.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By nailpolish on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:49:09
candles
chocolate
candles
squeaky acrylic cardigan
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By cyanarasamba on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:49:20
https://www.the-emporium.co.uk/productdetail.php?productid=098353

These. Not only do they look vile but I can't stand the smell of lavender. (DH take note, never again please...)
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By nickytwotimes on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:49:21
A rom com DVD.
<baulk>
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By nailpolish on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:50:24
an ABBA boxset

argh
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By moondog on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:51:10
Dear God, why do we do it????
There exists an entire tanker full of candles/toiletry sets/dvds that never get used-just fly from one person to other and eventually end up in British Heart Foundation.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By TigerFeet on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:51:35
My hairdryer was on its way out so dh bought another one for me and hid it for Christmas. Fortunately dd told me (4.5, completely unable to keep secrets grin) so when the hairdryer did conk out I didn't go and get another one and just asked dh for the new one! I am so glad, I would probably have hit him over the head with it if I'd unwrapped it on Christmas Day. Hairdryers are up there with liquidisers and irons imo - household gadgets that are useful but not Christmaspresentworthy.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By moondog on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:52:02
A box set of anything would horrify me.

I once got a huge chunky address book that was tied in to that tv programme 'Coast'.

Eh?????
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Nyx on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:52:46
Any type of bath toiletries for me (I take showers).
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By moondog on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:53:38
While I'm on subject, waht is point of shower gel?
Put it on and its straight down the plughole?
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Booboobedoo on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:53:54
My MIL gave me a revolting home-made vodka-cake once.

She thinks I'm an alcoholic because I insist on bringing bubbly over on Christmas Day.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By nailpolish on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:55:13
well i ws doing my weekly messages today in asda nd you should have seen the shelves groaning under the weight of utter shite
gift wrapped cheese knives
mingin port and cheese sets
horrid motif slippers
matching necklace and earring sets that were hideous i had to avert my eyes
'megamix' cds like 'best of the 60's' 'best driving anthems ever'

wht posseses some poeple i do not know
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By moondog on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:55:23
grin
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By TheCrackFox on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:55:52
A gift set of jam. Why? Why? Why?
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By moondog on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:56:06
Ah yes, the slippers and cheese 'n port combo.

Classy. Very classy.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By nailpolish on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:56:28
lol at shower gel MD
im glad its not just me
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Iklboo on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:56:39
Candles
Bath oil (I can't stand baths, I prefer showers)
Drinking party games (i'm nearly sodding 40)
Wine we don't like (Country Manor, rose, Rougemont Castle - MIL only ever buys 'medium sweet' wine <bauk>)
Chick flick films
Chick lit books

I am SO ungrateful blush
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By moondog on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:57:24
(I quite fancy some of those driving anthems though. Being a crazy devil may care SALT in my oh so sensible Renault people carrier tearing off to next ememrgency language group appointment.)
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Tanee58 on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:57:38
a full length white cotton nightie from my (now ex) MIL. just looking at it made me feel about 90.

but i love candles!
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By nailpolish on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:58:50
im an ungrateful cow too

last year elderly aunt of dhs gave me leather mule slippers
they were so horrible
i looked up at her beaming and she had the same pair on
omg i was so mortified
dh later informed me they cost £50!!!!
they were those van dal thingys

when i handed them into the bethany shop the woman at the counter im sure immediately puyt them on her own feet when i left
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By givethedogabone on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:58:54
FIL bought me a vibrator last year shock. Not sure if he realised thats what it was but it definitely was!
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By moondog on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:59:28
I am this <holds up index finger and thumb. Same hand. Obv.> far from taking nearest and dearest gently by the shoulders and saying

'Please I beg of you, don't buy me anything this year. Really, don't. You'd be doing me a huge favour.'
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By nailpolish on Tue 25-Nov-08 13:59:44
oh god no MD not driving anthems
status quo etc
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By moondog on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:00:17
lmao

vibrator!!!!

Fucking hell. shock
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By nailpolish on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:00:46
my dad always buys me crabtree and evenlyn or arran aromatics

i dont acutually like it
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By moondog on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:01:20
(Wot is Bethany shop?)

Ah c'mon, who doesn't like a good 'driving anthem'?

Radar Love= Golden Earring

Would defy you not to tap xteering wheel and bellow along.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By stillstanding on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:01:26
I got silky underwear from MIL one year.

It said "Party" on the back ...

WTF?!!
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By PerkinWarbeck on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:01:40
body lotion
I get it every year. but I'm too lazy/hurried to apply the stuff. Even have some good quality Molton Brown stuff gathering dust, long after the matching shower gel has been finished.

Oh, and kitchen gear. I can see the logic:
MIL thinks "Perkin likes cooking so she love this infused oil/cheeseboard/cookie cutter set", whereas my either I already have the offending item, or I've not got one because it's not worth having [ungrateful emoticon].
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By moondog on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:03:58
Boys are back in town=Thin Lizzy

Remember v pleasant road trip to Aberdeen with that on a loop circa 1986 and then rolling with fit lad from E'burgh in sand dunes on a warm Novemeber.

Unlikely I know, but true.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By nailpolish on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:04:03
bethany shop is like the britsh heart foundation but better
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By moondog on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:04:32
Ah.

(unlikely bit is warm Nov. in Aberdeen, not me being with fit bloke.)
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By thenewme on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:04:39
A family tree type book.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By nailpolish on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:04:52
def leppard
you go MD!
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By TigerFeet on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:05:23
Slippers

I get a pair from someone every year

By 16th Jan they ming because I have foot odour ishoos
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By moondog on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:05:52
Howzabout one fo those appalling 'experiences'? Sommething like driving around a windy track in a vaguely sporty car with some dull bloke called Graham who is only doing it because he wasn't good enough to race professionally?
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By moondog on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:06:45
Have loads of Def Leppard on iPod for gym.

Pour some sugar on me
Animal

<shakes poodle perm defiantly>
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By cmotdibbler on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:07:07
Cheese sets.

Novelty kitchen items.

Chick lit books /DVDs

Candles

And what will evil SIL buy this year ? The low point so far was a bottle of dip (clearly containing gluten which I can't have) and a cheap and nasty candle. Or was it the giant perspex pepper grinder filled with an assortment of coloured peppercorns..
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By moondog on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:09:03
cmot, what do yuo buy for her??
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By timmette on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:13:32
I got bought a blow torch by hubby 2 years ago which resulted in floods of tears as was 7 months pregnant.
He said i could make creme brulee = i hate it.

Also chocolate wine by inlaws.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By nailpolish on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:14:57
my SIL gives me all the freebies she gets from the estee lauder/clinque/clarins counters she gets when she buys her make up/skincare

sad

she thinks i dont know they are freebies
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By moondog on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:16:05
chocolate wine

NP what is the problem.As long as they are useful?
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By nailpolish on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:16:22
my dh bought me an electric blanket one year
shock

inside was hidden a bottle of chanel but he wont EVER do that again...
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By SpookyMadMummy on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:16:31
MIL bought us a dinner service without plates in it hmm She claimed it was not a dinner service but a tea set although there was no teapot/milk jug and there were 2 gravy boats with it.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By nailpolish on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:16:54
no it inst a prob re the freebies
but she fobs them off as bought presents which i think is stupid
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By moondog on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:17:31
Brill re dinner set.
This is v funny.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By nailpolish on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:18:09
WHAT THE FUCK is chocoalte wine
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By moondog on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:18:46
First Christmas ever dh bought me a linen wall hanging pocket thing and Oxfam cookbook.

Last year was Christmas of stinging goatskin jerkin (size 20-am a 12)from Tajikistan.

hmm
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Kathyis6incheshigh on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:18:55
One of those homeopathy for childbirth kits would probably go down quite badly with me.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By jamescagney on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:19:17
Oh SpookyMadMummy you've made me laugh!
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By SpookyMadMummy on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:19:50
Moondog we are sure it was a collect items thing from Iceland! Kerry Katona has alot to answer for grin
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By PeachyAndTheSucklingBas on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:19:54
Candles in a house where there are 2 asd kids. Unless accompanied by fire extinguisher I guess.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By bronze on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:20:27
wine or champagne. I don't drink either anyway plus I'm pregnant now. Didn't stop grandmil last time who bought us chocs and wine and of course dh wins as he wants his share of choc as well.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By moondog on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:20:32
Why is that Kath?
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Littlestrawberry on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:20:57
Naf clothes from shops I'd never be never be seen dead in.

Ornaments....of any description. I don't do them and my mum should know better. She bought me the cheap and nasty cardigan too. I really would be happier with nothing.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By timmette on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:21:01
Not sure to be honest - it's still sitting unopened in the basement - she bought everyone a bottle.
To be fair I think she thought I like wine and chocs and never thought about combined taste.
Maybe if I am feeling brave I will open it later and give it a try.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By cmotdibbler on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:22:35
Moondog - carefully chosen Elemis/Molton Brown sets, good wine, CD's she has asked for, flowers. Anything we can think of that might be really nice as she will never give us a clue, and we don't see them that much
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Kathyis6incheshigh on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:22:36
er, because they are sugar pills.... and if you just bought a kit you would not even get the placebo effect/possibility of getting some helpful advice that you would get at a consultation.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By moondog on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:24:15
Kath???

Cmot, sounds nice.
I don't think anyone could go wrong with posh delivered flowers.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By CantSleepWontSleep on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:25:45
This year, a box of my favourite chocolates, because ds is milk intolerant and breastfed, so I wouldn't be able to eat them.

Generally any toiletry type stuff, because I'm allergic to perfumes/colourings.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By PortlySackSantaInAdvent on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:25:48
Any item of clothing that is white.

ILs buy me white clothes every year (hat & gloves, cardies etc.). They have never seen me in white. White does not suit me. Not only am i very pale i am a size 16.

I have a dog.

And two young boys.

I live in the country near muddy fields.

Need i go on?

<who the hell can wear white gloves?>
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By PerkinWarbeck on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:26:15
flowers.. <wistful sigh>

no farker ever sends me flowers.....
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By herbietea on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:27:00
Roller skates or a skate board as I can't walk without crutches!
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Flightattendant4 on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:27:41
Anything that requires time away from the children to use it...I do not have this luxury!

I have asked for socks as i only need socks.

DP (sort of) asked me what I would like

I just went 'Blimey' and looked at the floor and blushed.

He is going to be on some caribbean beach anyway so does not apply. sad
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By FattipuffsandThinnifers on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:27:55
All of these very funny grin

Got a pepper grinder from an exboyf once hmm How romantic.

My grandfather gave me a bottle of Tramp "perfume" [sic] when I was about 9. I actually thought it was really glamorous at the time.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By SummerLightning on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:29:23
nail polish, my DH also bought me an electric blanket one year. He thought it was a great present as well...and I couldn't hide the fact that i thought it was crap and he was so upset!! Poor thing...he's normally so good at pressies too!
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By mrswoolf on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:31:52
Chanel No5 - I now have bottles of the stuff, mostly from the same relative
Kitchen/food type gift sets
Books esp cookery and novelty books
Clothes
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By cmotdibbler on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:42:36
Perkin - I would much rather send you flowers than ungrateful SIL (we bought her a lovely spa day for her 40th - when asked if she had enjoyed it, she complained that she hadn't had anyone to enjoy it with). Dh threatened last year that we would stop buying presents for any of his family and spend on the MN Christmas Appeal instead.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By ILiketoMarmiteMarmite on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:43:48
I love Chanel No5! Lucky you!

My exMIL once bought these clear tree baubles, you opened them and there were knickers inside, they were from Knickerbox or somewhere. She got them for her and her 2 daughters. Said to me,

"I would have got one for you, but the large fitted me."

shock

So my worst present would be to get her back.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Tanee58 on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:46:39
CD of Jonathan and Darlene Edwards' Greatest Hits from my then DH - Very funny ha ha, but then I looked for my REAL pressie from him - and found that that was it. One stupid CD. Maybe that's when our marriage started to die..sadgrin

Oh and he reduced DD to tears when she was 4 by giving her the Beatles White Album when what she wanted was the Spice Girls!
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Tanee58 on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:48:55
Chanel 5 smells like cats pee on me blush - or maybe it's that the exbf who bought it for me probably got it from a market stall...?

One year my dad gave me a poncho thing that made me look like Clint Eastwood.

Seems a theme going here - the men in my life give lousy gifts.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By FattipuffsandThinnifers on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:49:54
lol at Marmite! She must have tried them on first then shock
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Tanee58 on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:50:21
Fattipuffs - was it a very LARGE pepper grinder? grin
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By SoMuchToBits on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:52:14
My SIL gave me for my birthday yesterday....

A decorative scent holder hmm
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By SlubberOverTheYardArm on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:56:42
A Gimp Doll. That would be awful. Oh no wait a minute, FIL gave me one 2 years ago.

After the gimp doll anything is a welcome improvement.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By smurfgirl on Tue 25-Nov-08 15:01:30
Bath stuff, I hate baths its just floating in your own skin and dirt in slightly scneted water. Vile.

Any alcohol gift sets, the wine is always rank and I just don't drink them.

And any novelty DVD game, or drinking game set. No.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By FattipuffsandThinnifers on Tue 25-Nov-08 15:03:03
Tanee, no an average size one, which pretty much stopped working after a few weeks. Pepper grinder, that is grin
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By angelene on Tue 25-Nov-08 15:25:09
Anything my MIL buys me. Cheap frilly bags, cheap slippers, cheap frilly hair clips, bows and ribbons. I am really not a frilly type of person and hate cheap shit. However, the excitement of having a female personage to buy for after two DS's was clearly too much.

The worst one ever was the Christmas after DD was born - a pair of Snoopy pyjamas. Size large. I have no idea in the world why she thought I'd like it, but she doesn't actually think about whether the recipient would like the present or find it useful, but whether there is a red money-off sticker on it - she then selects a victim for the vile item.

I have asked DH to tell her not to get me anything but he refuses as watching me give an Oscar-worthy performance of how lovely it all is, is one of the highlights of his Christmas hmm grin
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By EachPeachPearMum on Tue 25-Nov-08 15:45:16
This is the mn police .... slubber step away from the internet, I repeat move away from the keyboard until your alloted time....





wink
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By MadameCheese on Tue 25-Nov-08 15:47:26
Sextoys from the inlaws
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By MadameCheese on Tue 25-Nov-08 15:53:05
Well that killed the thread
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Tanee58 on Tue 25-Nov-08 16:11:04
Ummm - just hope they hadn't tried them out first shockgrinblush.

Sorry, I'm still thinking about Fattipuff's pepper grinder.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Englebert on Tue 25-Nov-08 16:18:22
I once got a yellow bath bomb. It was like sitting in a bath filled with warm wee.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Tanee58 on Tue 25-Nov-08 16:30:44
Mmm warm wee... This thread is getting positively kinky blush.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Jux on Tue 25-Nov-08 16:32:30
What on earth is a gimp doll?
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Tanee58 on Tue 25-Nov-08 16:41:09
Yees I was wondering that, but after the sextoys and warm wee, I became afeard to ask!
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By SlubberOverTheYardArm on Tue 25-Nov-08 17:09:06
Thank you EachPeach. I was norty but feel suitably reprimanded.

Jux a gimp doll, is exactly what is says on the tin. A doll dressed in bondage gear with a zippable face mask on. What sort of look do you arrange your face into when your FIL gives you one? Sadly, I did not know the answer to this question 2 years ago.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By EachPeachPearMum on Tue 25-Nov-08 17:11:45
Where on earth did he buy such a thing? and why?
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By herbietea on Tue 25-Nov-08 17:13:31
My IL's gave me a set of really saucy undies for Christmas in 1996 - I was knackered as I gave birth the day before and burst into tears when I saw them. DH was really shock and blush.

The year before last I got two of the smallest G-strings I have ever seen from them. DS1 was 12 and he burst out laughing saying "You don't get much for your money do you Mum?"

I am dreading what I get this year - last year was a necklace so I must be prepared for a shock this year!
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By herbietea on Tue 25-Nov-08 17:14:28
OMG Slubber and I thought my IL's were pervy! shock
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By girlywhirly on Tue 25-Nov-08 17:16:26
Ah, this reminds me of when I was first married to 1st H, and his Nan gave us a toilet roll holder in the shape of the rear half of a Beetle car, made of earthenware. She obviously thought it would go well in our first flat. It never made it to the bathroom wall funnily enough.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By SlubberOverTheYardArm on Tue 25-Nov-08 17:17:20
EachPeach, I believe he got it from Brighton. I believe he got it in an attempt to make his new DIL shriek in suprise and alarm and fall backwards in her chair in the manner of a Monty Python MrsPepperpot.

herbietea, g-strings, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Tanee58 on Tue 25-Nov-08 17:20:03
My god, I came on this thread for some light relief and instead I have been totally corrupted.

OK, now a gimp doll is on my Christmas list! grin along with wee coloured bath bombs, naff undies, a vibrator and Jonathan and Darlene Edwards Greatest Hits Volume 2.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Tanee58 on Tue 25-Nov-08 17:20:54
My god, I came on this thread for some light relief and instead I have been totally corrupted.

OK, now a gimp doll is on my Christmas list! grin along with wee coloured bath bombs, naff undies, a vibrator and Jonathan and Darlene Edwards Greatest Hits Volume 2.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By CrushaGrape on Tue 25-Nov-08 17:21:59
When I was about 10, I had been saving my last big present from my mum until last - I can't remember what it was I wanted, but I recall there was something definite I'd asked for. I opened the gift to find...an electric blanket.

I was a generally polite child, but I was so taken aback I couldn't do anything but sit there silently in dismay. I remember it especially, because there had recently been a Watchdog or some such consumer program about the dangers of electric blankets catching fire. It was never used. That was my worst present ever. If I were ever given another one, that would be the most unsuitable present ever. That and the odd metal dog-faced sex-mask from Coco de Mer that someone put on another thread.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By EachPeachPearMum on Tue 25-Nov-08 17:22:53
slubber he must be demented shock
I am just stunned.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By PortlySackSantaInAdvent on Tue 25-Nov-08 17:35:41
Crusha wink grin
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By mrsmalumbas on Tue 25-Nov-08 17:37:49
MY BIL bought his wife a dishwasher once.

Also I believe one year she was the happy recipient of an iron.

My worst present would be slippers - hate 'em.

Or Playboy jewellery.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By ilovemydog on Tue 25-Nov-08 17:42:26
a dog shock
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By walkthedinosaur on Tue 25-Nov-08 17:42:50
My MIL once bought me one of those boxes of cheap and nasty soap, you know the ones with six soaps in pink, lemon, white and they've all got a picture of a flower on the top of them; so they went straight to the charity shop in town the first day it opened after the Christmas break. MIL came to vist over new year, went down the town for a wander and came back with the same bloody box of soap, oh look I've found you another one now you've got two.

I was so tempted to take it back while she was there to see how many times she would buy it back for me.

For the last three years she's bought me a tea towel with a recipe on the front - I look forward to unwrapping that tea towel and then drying the Christmas washing up with it.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By SlubberOverTheYardArm on Tue 25-Nov-08 17:47:36
EachPeach I love my FIL a lot. Now I just open anything he gives me with due care and attention. No wild, carfree ripping of wrapping paper. You never know what might fall out in your lap.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Colditz on Tue 25-Nov-08 17:50:28
A high necked square cut chunky beige fleece, a size too small.

I have large breasts. Did she want me to look like a camel?
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By TheGoat on Tue 25-Nov-08 17:53:15
mil once bought me a bag that turned into a handy waterproof. i didn't really understand why she thought i needed a bag that turned into a coat.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Colditz on Tue 25-Nov-08 17:53:36
And, from the same person, a bottle green faux-suede wallet with Winnie The Pooh on.

No, some of you may have seen my vitriolic rants regarding a)Disney's reanimation of the corpse of poor old Winnie and b)the type of woman who has a penchant for seeing his image on their personal effects, but clearly this woman hadn't. So I smiled and thanked her and put it in the toy box the second she left.

It was expensive too, that was the worst of it.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By CrushaGrape on Tue 25-Nov-08 17:53:41
oh, just remembered another classic from my mum. A few years back I got a meat thermometer as a Christmas present. She knows that my DP is a pescetarian (pescatarian? whatever, we don't eat meat at home). The only time I cook a roast is at her house, once a year, at Christmas.

It's still in the box.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By alarkaspree on Tue 25-Nov-08 18:03:18
My brother-in-law gave me this musical cake knife once. That was highly unsuitable.

Festively flavoured coffee is the other most inappropriate gift I can think of. WHY would you want your coffee to taste of cinnamon or hazelnuts?
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By PanicPants on Tue 25-Nov-08 18:14:06
When i was 13/14 I got a duvat and duvet cover as my main present. Was gutted!!

I know I wanted it as we had only had blankets upto that point - but not for christmas!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm still traumatised now.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Fiveplusbump on Tue 25-Nov-08 18:24:43
An oil burner

An ornament which MIL thinks is stylish (bought from the shops at skegness Seafront)

A cuddly toy holding a love heart .

Anything from Elizabeth Duke.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Onlyaphase on Tue 25-Nov-08 18:42:58
Worst present would be another home-made hamper from MIL and her mother jointly. They sit there whilst I open the offending items one by one - novelty patterned napkins, musical cake knife, small china dogs.....this list goes on. And I have to pretend that each ill-thought out item is exactly what I wanted for Christmas. Hideous. The only nice thing was the basket.

And DH gave me a pan one year. He hasn't done that since, but still doesn't understand what he did wrong.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By sunnytimer on Tue 25-Nov-08 18:52:01
Worst presents received by me include:

Set of three (economy) plastic coat hangers

Pair of navy blue tights

Bubble bath sets (like cantsleep I'm super sensitive to perfumed toiletries)

A seed donation to someone somewhere (sorry, selfish I know!!)

Hot pants pyjamas - 4 weeks after birth of DS when I was still HUGE!!

Inlaws are great, aren't they! grin
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By moondog on Tue 25-Nov-08 20:30:24
grin at you all
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By ilovemydog on Tue 25-Nov-08 20:44:53
rofl - musical cake knife grin

Perfect for the mil - cheers!
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Booboobedoo on Wed 26-Nov-08 11:43:32
I'm cheating now because this was in fact a birthday present.

First birthday with then DB (now DH), he turns up at my office with a plastic bag and hands it to me.

"Go on, open it now", he says excitedly. In front of my assistant, I pull out some (unwrapped) fluffy handcuffs and some chocolate bodypaint.

He thought he'd done really well, bless him.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By mrsmaidamess on Wed 26-Nov-08 11:44:21
My friends dh bought her an adjustable socket set

And a dictionary 'Because we havent got one'
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Upwind on Wed 26-Nov-08 11:50:28
Booboobedoo - can you explain yourself? Your brother (DB) turned up at your office and publicly presented you with fluffy handcuffs and chocolate body paint, so you married him? shock grin
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Booboobedoo on Wed 26-Nov-08 11:55:53
Exactly, Upwind. You've got it in a nutshell. wink.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By bronze on Wed 26-Nov-08 13:47:54
I think thats dear boyfriend if he then became DH
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By BeckyBendyLegs on Thu 27-Nov-08 14:33:48
Mine was a giant rubber from my brother (I was about 30 at the time). The worst part was that he paid the postage which was about £7 because this horrendous present was so heavy. I left it in the stationary cupboard at work. As far as I know it is probably still there.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Katiekitty on Thu 27-Nov-08 15:06:18
A jar of lime chutney and a jar of mango chutney. From a now (and not long after that) ex-boyfriend.

He insisted I open it infront of his family as 'it was something I'd really love'.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By HensMum on Thu 27-Nov-08 15:17:05
My brother bought me a space hopper a few years ago. I think he did it in a fit of nostalgia as we had one as kids and loved it but I don't think he realised that loving something at 6 does not make it a great present when you are 22! I was living in a tiny flat with no garden at the time too, I don't know where he thought I was going to bounce on it!
To be fair, for the birthday after that he bought me a smoothie maker which is one of my Best Presents Ever so he does get it right sometimes.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By r3dh3d on Thu 27-Nov-08 15:45:34
MIL one year bought DH a deluxe box of assorted nails.

She knows very well that he does no DIY whatsoever, so I suppose in a roundabout way it was a present for me.