I think the worst had to be a white beaded grannyish purse/bag thing from Boots(according to the label inside).
It looked as though it should have originally had some kind of toiletries in it, but it was damaged and had so obviously been in the bargain bin.
Having said that DB and DSil are legendary and I try to think of these things as funny now rather than annoying. The dds have had a lot of fun using the purse for their little treasures.
The couple have a knack of giving bargain bin presents to the most unsuitable people, and so it is almost exciting seeing what they have come up with this year.
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Tip of the day
If your DH says he wants breakfast in bed, chuck a sleeping bag onto the kitchen floor. MamaG
Quote of the week
Bucharest on the potentially perilous pitfalls of pregnancy: "You get so used to grown men whose first names you don't know shuftying about up your nethers that you have to chant to yourself, like a mantra, in the dentist's waiting room, "Don't take your pants off, it's just teeth this time."
Recipe of the week
Porpoise's red berry pavlova: lashings of strawberries and cream for Wimbledon finals weekend - with the ace addition of a crunchy, chewy meringue base. Serve with panache and await a grateful chorus of, "Ooh, I say!"
What would be the ^worst^ and most unsuitable Christmas present you could possibly receive?
(179 posts)
No, Boffin mum, that honour has to be reserved for the fake rolex watch she bought for DH. "Do you know how you tell it's not genuine?" she asked, as the watch face fell off in his hands.
Or maybe for the hand knitted rainbow wool shagpile effect cardigan she specially 'sourced' for my poor 4 year old who just wanted a "my little pony." You wouldn't think it was possible to encounter so much tat in one short lifetime! I could go on for hours, the woman is one in a million- Thank God!
Or maybe for the hand knitted rainbow wool shagpile effect cardigan she specially 'sourced' for my poor 4 year old who just wanted a "my little pony." You wouldn't think it was possible to encounter so much tat in one short lifetime! I could go on for hours, the woman is one in a million- Thank God!
I live in fear of getting a chocolate fountain or a footspa.
lmao at elephant combuo
Ventured out to shops today (deosn't happen often-I do it all online) Yegads! Full of bovine idiots buying crap, crap and more crap.
Ventured out to shops today (deosn't happen often-I do it all online) Yegads! Full of bovine idiots buying crap, crap and more crap.
I always get something like a nail kit or cheap make-up off my aunt. I appreciate the thought, but i'd rather have the money, lmao.
Right now, anything related to Booze or naughty's with the DH will not be welcome.
Infact, considering i'm suffering from third trimester 'morning' sickness, anyhing food related is likely to produce a negative response.
Right now, anything related to Booze or naughty's with the DH will not be welcome.
Infact, considering i'm suffering from third trimester 'morning' sickness, anyhing food related is likely to produce a negative response.
Frankly TKB that is such a bad gift it has surely come out the other side and become a cult object???
Good Lord, where do I start to choose from the vast selection of horrors that my MIL has bought for me. I think the absolute winner has to be the nylon headscarf with a large picture of an elephant on, that matched the equally attractive nylon elephant tie she had bought for my DH. I truly don't know where you even buy these things.
Whisky filled chocolates and a large tub of pate de fois gras.
I asked my sister for a mortar and pestle one year and she bought me one from Wilkos which appeared to be made out of balsa wood. I have never seen anything less fit for purpose. It came with a balsa wood rolling pin and meat tenderiser hammer too 
Thanks for that Idris.
Now I really see her true colours.
Now I really see her true colours.
The most useless thing I ever received was a long wooden, boat shaped object with diagonal slits in it. It came with a cheap knife. A baguette cutter in other words. Okaaay.
I really dislike the custom of Secret Santa present giving at work because it is anonimous, the presents given out at random and it encourages cruelty: last year I got a bag of sprouts [hmn]
My worst was from my Great Aunt some years ago before DH and I were married. She bought me one of those knicker-dryer things that you hang in the shower. And the weird thing was that she said - before she gave it to me - that she was very embarrassed as she didn;t know what had possessed her to buy it!!!! So I'm left with a knicker-dryer-hanging thingy, trying to say nice things to make her feel better (while thinking you demented old bat, I've just bought you Chanel), and wondering why on earth she didn;t just take it back to the shop for a refund if she'd had second thoughts. I mean, if you know a gift is crap before you give it why on earth bother?
Hi Lovecat - if you're still wanting rid of the Owl paperweight, I'll happily take it off your hands. My mother loves WM and owls so it would be a great combo. She is nearly 70, mind
, LOL!
, LOL!
How unfortunate.
You're right custardo. My husband was shagging that Thai ladyboy for years before he gave me VD. And you can't say that isn't hard work.
really disheartened to see the amount of ungrateful people - i get THE 'wtf' reaction if no effort has been made, but when you write about the effort they made,...and i wish they didn't bother, i think its v. sad.
An inflatable path pillow with a radio attached. Like the one the in-laws bought me last year. Or an amarillis - like the one they bought me the year before.
an address book
tissue box holder
chocolates that make you fat fat fat
gonnorhea
tissue box holder
chocolates that make you fat fat fat
gonnorhea
MiL buys me the worst presents of all - ironically they are usually even worse if Dp has helped her -
i have had a glass worktop protector/chopping board - a vile earhenware snowman shaped candle holder "thing" - a sugar babes cd - several horrid bulb/plants -
just general shite - in fact i'd rather she didn't bother.
the presents she get Dp are just as bad!
oh and my grandad gave us a box of truely disgusting glace fruits that he won in a raffle - yuck!!
oh dear how very ungrateful!
i have had a glass worktop protector/chopping board - a vile earhenware snowman shaped candle holder "thing" - a sugar babes cd - several horrid bulb/plants -
just general shite - in fact i'd rather she didn't bother.
the presents she get Dp are just as bad!
oh and my grandad gave us a box of truely disgusting glace fruits that he won in a raffle - yuck!!
oh dear how very ungrateful!
Oh dear I should be in bed but KatieScarlett's candle snuffer and possibly running out of breath has made me actually hiccup with laughter. V v good!!
When I was younger someone bought me a set of kitchen scales and I was sooooooo pissed off! I mean, why would you???
Now I'm old and decrepit I'm still using them!!
Now I'm old and decrepit I'm still using them!!
I recieved an ironing board one christmas!!!
I was gobsmacked ( their lucky they weren't)
I was gobsmacked ( their lucky they weren't)
Mine would be a Mamma Mia DVD or anything of a similar ilk.
DP said novelty tie for him would be the worst thing ever!
DP said novelty tie for him would be the worst thing ever!
I swear I will never EVER roll my eyes at a Cadbury's selection box* again, you've all suffered so much more than me. Honestly, if it wasn't the selection box, it'd be books (cos I like books, yes, but MiL's idea of appropriate books?) or something PINK (two DSs, MiL has a lot of PINK saved up).
MY parents buy strange but strangely good things, like toolboxes and herb gardens.
* but still, I'm 36, really, a selection box?
MY parents buy strange but strangely good things, like toolboxes and herb gardens.
* but still, I'm 36, really, a selection box?
"Made in China" revoltingly chemical "lavender" fragrance set - straight to charity bag...presumably inspired by a peek in my bathroom cupboard which is more along the lines of fragrance free organic pharmacy or neals yard...........GGGRRRRRRRR! better still SIL giving me a present for babs and telling me she was regifting it cos she didnt like it........how it is possible that DH who is generous to a fault and comes up with some pretty amazing prezzies ....could be born of the same family? at least they live across the ocean....separated by sea as well as time difference. meOW!! this year i am not even going to open prezzies, they shall go unwrapped into charity bag.
I'm scheduled to received my 5th acrylic, brown or goose-pooh coloured shawl from my mother.
From MIL last year I got a calandar with pictures of kittens in 'hilarious' poses. DH suffers the most though as my dad always buys him things you might buy for a 12 year old boy - football annuals, minature snooker tables, a game where you shoot each other with laser guns. DH isn't the game playing type.
From my (very-ex) MIL I once received as my Christmas present a box of sage and onion Paxo. That was 2 years past its sell-by date. My then dh was smirking as I received my "gift" (he was clearly thinking that he was in line for a real present from his mother). It was then my turn to smirk when she presented him with an old bit of garden hose she had found at the back of her shed. (This was down to her, er, quirkiness, rather than a lack of funds, being as she was a 5 foreign holidays a year and champagne for breakfast kind of a woman).
After I spent a week of my hard earned hols cleaning a damp, smelly holiday cottage I share with my BIL and SIL, removing 25 years of other people's minging grime, pubes as well as a litany of dead insects, bitching for every single moment of the process, with toddlers snapping at my ankles, my non-working SIL (who has grown up kids and a cleaner, and whose own idea of cleaning is possibly wiping down a worktop once a week, but only if she has personally used it) gave me a pair of rubber gloves and a signed book on house cleaning by Kim and Aggie because she decided I was one of those people who 'liked' cleaning. 
I think the perfect revenge would be a monster stocking with every single nasty present you have all posted on here. Send me your poor and disaffected, and I will regift them to her!! HAHAHA!!
I think the perfect revenge would be a monster stocking with every single nasty present you have all posted on here. Send me your poor and disaffected, and I will regift them to her!! HAHAHA!!
Never, ever comment on something tacky in the two months before christmas and in the company of a potential present buyer.
My p-i-l excel at multiple presents of cheap, supermarket-bought crap. Most of it goes straight to charity shops in january, and it always makes me sad at the waste of effort and money - why do they think I want a boxed soap set, or a cheap plastic vinyl handbag? On the other hand, now we have a baby, apparently their policy on christmas presents is none for the grown-ups after they've produced children of their own.
My p-i-l excel at multiple presents of cheap, supermarket-bought crap. Most of it goes straight to charity shops in january, and it always makes me sad at the waste of effort and money - why do they think I want a boxed soap set, or a cheap plastic vinyl handbag? On the other hand, now we have a baby, apparently their policy on christmas presents is none for the grown-ups after they've produced children of their own.
An ex-bf who was besotted with me remembered I had commented on the mirrored waterfall picture in the curry house (it was hideous and it made a sort of waterfall noise as well as trickling light effects). He searched and managed to find one for me for christmas.
Huge, heavy and hideous - what a great combination - worst thing was, the charity shop wouldn't accept it because it plugged in! So I had to put it in the loft
*whispers* it's still there I assume - I moved!
Huge, heavy and hideous - what a great combination - worst thing was, the charity shop wouldn't accept it because it plugged in! So I had to put it in the loft
*whispers* it's still there I assume - I moved!
I used to cook professionally and i still love cooking and i love cookbooks!
Except i scribble all over them adapting recipes!
I am so easy to buy for there is nothing i wouldn't like.
Except i scribble all over them adapting recipes!
I am so easy to buy for there is nothing i wouldn't like.
mama Mia in any form
sweets( i am diabetic)-every year...
anything that smells of 'fragrance' perfume, oils,bubble bath, pot pourri, candles, drawer liners etc etc.
I am completely allergic and will come out in hives.
Any more shabby chic nonsense <gag>
cook books <i used to cook professionally>
snow domes ( i collected them when i was 8)
and now i am 42 - so i gave it up 30 odd years ago
sweets( i am diabetic)-every year...
anything that smells of 'fragrance' perfume, oils,bubble bath, pot pourri, candles, drawer liners etc etc.
I am completely allergic and will come out in hives.
Any more shabby chic nonsense <gag>
cook books <i used to cook professionally>
snow domes ( i collected them when i was 8)
and now i am 42 - so i gave it up 30 odd years ago
I got a set of minature antique teaspoons one year
MIL has for the past 10 years bought me every christmas 2 years worth of floral/musk/vile smelling toiletries. I also get anything that was in the factory sale at revlon that I can't even work out what/why its for or brown shampoo when I'm prodly a redhead? She buys her son fruity smelling stuff, the stuff I want!
Last year he finally told her no more, so I got the worst/strongest smelling bar of soap ever (in my stocking, with food, I'm 32!) which I, in front of her, chucked across the room saying get that away from me befor I'm sick. Bad I know but ahhhhhhh! If I get another body puff I will scream.
She also bought us over 2 years 2 expensive Le cruset cassarole pots when I was vegi and her son wasn't.
One year I asked for black thermal underwear, got twice as much white as black that are still in the packets.
Not christmas, but she still brings us back a fridge magnet everytime she goes on holiday, little china plates from spain with 'gold' on them, nasty cheap things from nasty cheap places.
We have a very small flat, no space for all this stuff. Now all I have to get her to do is knitt in another colour but white for her grandchild. Phew I'm glad thats off my chest!
Last year he finally told her no more, so I got the worst/strongest smelling bar of soap ever (in my stocking, with food, I'm 32!) which I, in front of her, chucked across the room saying get that away from me befor I'm sick. Bad I know but ahhhhhhh! If I get another body puff I will scream.
She also bought us over 2 years 2 expensive Le cruset cassarole pots when I was vegi and her son wasn't.
One year I asked for black thermal underwear, got twice as much white as black that are still in the packets.
Not christmas, but she still brings us back a fridge magnet everytime she goes on holiday, little china plates from spain with 'gold' on them, nasty cheap things from nasty cheap places.
We have a very small flat, no space for all this stuff. Now all I have to get her to do is knitt in another colour but white for her grandchild. Phew I'm glad thats off my chest!
An ex boyfriend once gave me a large black bin liner full of the small boxes of tampons that come out of vending machines that he'd purloined from somewhere.
How thoughtful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How thoughtful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My MIL bought me a cheese and wine gift set. I was 7 months pregnant, so not drinking wine and all the cheese was soft/blue veined that I couldn't eat. Thoughtful gift!!!
A wire contraption for holding and pouring wine -
it was so mingingly ugly and cheap looking.
It was actually too small to hold a bottle of wine.
I never saw the problem with standing a bottle of wine on the table.
I was pregnant. missing a little tipple and really fed up with drunk people.
it was so mingingly ugly and cheap looking.
It was actually too small to hold a bottle of wine.
I never saw the problem with standing a bottle of wine on the table.
I was pregnant. missing a little tipple and really fed up with drunk people.
Every bugger gives me wine and I don't and have never drunk alcohol - am well known for not being able to drink at all. Luckily DH is a complete lush in this respect!
My mum always buys me clothes that are masses too big or masses too small or are in a velour which have to be frogmarched back to whence they came and exchange for something in a fabric which doesn't convert ones arse into a small sofa!
DH has offered to 'get' me a vasectomy this year
My mum always buys me clothes that are masses too big or masses too small or are in a velour which have to be frogmarched back to whence they came and exchange for something in a fabric which doesn't convert ones arse into a small sofa!
DH has offered to 'get' me a vasectomy this year
MIL got me a t-shirt with a picture of a wooden spoon and the words 'Domestic Goddess' on it. I have no idea to this day whether she was being sarcastic because she thinks I'm a lazy cow, or if she genuinely thought I'd like it. I never found the right moment to ask
A glass paperweight with some William Morris Owl-design fabric embedded in it. Quite an expensive one, by the looks of it.
My own mother got me this after I'd asked her for JL vouchers (I was saving up for something large and had asked everyone for the vouchers so that I could get what I wanted). Because vouchers are 'dull'.
Quite apart from the arrogance implicit in 'you have asked for something but I know better so shall ignore your wishes', I don't do paperwork, I don't have a desk to put said abomination on, I dislike owls and William Morris.
It is precisely the sort of thing she'd wet her pants over, so I guess that was why she bought it for me. She couldn't understand why I was upset over it and refused to tell me where she'd got it from so I could take it back - then suddenly it became all about how I'd insulted her by not liking her gift... gosh, I'd best head over to the toxic parenting thread, hadn't I?
I still have it in a drawer somewhere. Anyone want it?
My own mother got me this after I'd asked her for JL vouchers (I was saving up for something large and had asked everyone for the vouchers so that I could get what I wanted). Because vouchers are 'dull'.
Quite apart from the arrogance implicit in 'you have asked for something but I know better so shall ignore your wishes', I don't do paperwork, I don't have a desk to put said abomination on, I dislike owls and William Morris.
It is precisely the sort of thing she'd wet her pants over, so I guess that was why she bought it for me. She couldn't understand why I was upset over it and refused to tell me where she'd got it from so I could take it back - then suddenly it became all about how I'd insulted her by not liking her gift... gosh, I'd best head over to the toxic parenting thread, hadn't I?
I still have it in a drawer somewhere. Anyone want it?
OK, I'm sensing a swap deal here.
I love smellies and candles and will happily pass on candle extinguishing implements and alcohol-related clothing in exchange this year.
Does anyone want the ladybell?
Roll on boxing day.
I love smellies and candles and will happily pass on candle extinguishing implements and alcohol-related clothing in exchange this year.
Does anyone want the ladybell?
Roll on boxing day.
I like candlesnuffers. They don't make as much smoke as blowing it out and you don't run the risk of splattering wax everywhere.
Aww, I want a guinness dressing gown! I hate getting address/birthday books. And deodorant/shower gel sets!
moondog, I'm pretty sure that last year, if you spent £40 with bookpeople then could get a free Coast address book....
Gifts I have received from DH's family;
A candle snuffer (in case I mysteriously run out of breath, perhaps?)
A dressing gown with a "Guinness" motif - I don't drink
A victorian lady ornament/bell (for my ornament free house)
A candle snuffer (in case I mysteriously run out of breath, perhaps?)
A dressing gown with a "Guinness" motif - I don't drink
A victorian lady ornament/bell (for my ornament free house)
A bottle of non-alcoholic wine.
When I was about 7-8 years old, I made presents for all my family including a pomander made of a blown egg for my sister. No one had got me anything, but I feigned gracious nevermindedness. Meanwhile, the pomander rolled off the coffee table and my dad accidentally stepped on it. Then he went into the kitchen and came out witha a parcel crudely wrapped in the wrapping paper that I had used which he presented to me with a big smile. I opened it and it was potato peelings! har har har not very har. But its okay, it has given me the sardonic wit and hard exterior I am now blessed with...
My ex husband once gave me david beckham's autobiography which i knew he had purchased at the 11th hour from Tesco's. I took it back and exchanged it for groceries.
My ex husband once gave me david beckham's autobiography which i knew he had purchased at the 11th hour from Tesco's. I took it back and exchanged it for groceries.
i hate smelllies and handcream - I dont use them and have cupboards full.
i heard dh on the phone to NIL the other day who was asking waht we want for xmas, I actaully heard him say "oh she'll love some smellies" and before I could stop myself, I had said "no!" very loudly hehe. Idiot!
i heard dh on the phone to NIL the other day who was asking waht we want for xmas, I actaully heard him say "oh she'll love some smellies" and before I could stop myself, I had said "no!" very loudly hehe. Idiot!
My MIL bought me a shovel one Christmas. Has come in handy a few times...
DH still jokes about the step ladder I bought him for his birthday the first year we were together, at which point I remind him that he bought me a towel one Xmas!
When I unwrapped it my mum looked horrified and whispered "are you alright about that?!" and I stuck up for him, saying "he knows I like baths so he got me a big fluffy towel"
To be fair I still use it and its a nice one - I'm easy pleased.
When I unwrapped it my mum looked horrified and whispered "are you alright about that?!" and I stuck up for him, saying "he knows I like baths so he got me a big fluffy towel"
To be fair I still use it and its a nice one - I'm easy pleased.
I got a basket of little pots of jam from my SIL - she knows I make all my own jam.
I believe she's done similar things to other people too, it's got a weird kind of logic I suppose - "she makes jam, she must like jam"...
I believe she's done similar things to other people too, it's got a weird kind of logic I suppose - "she makes jam, she must like jam"...
I kid you not - an exboyfriend once took his stash of dodgy porn films into a sex shop and exchanged them for new films, and then presented these to me as an xmas present. our relationship had been on the skids for a while and ended very shortly after that. what a selfish wa**er (quite literally)... i can laugh about it now but it wasn't funny at the time. i need to add that enjoying that sort of stuff together was not part our relationship!!!
Reindeer Poop chocolates
One of those vomit-orange toilet bags filled with bath cubes. It was called "Channelle" or something. I was gutted.
A tin of chick peas (to puff out the stocking)
One of those vomit-orange toilet bags filled with bath cubes. It was called "Channelle" or something. I was gutted.
A tin of chick peas (to puff out the stocking)
Another "nooooo!" for stinky toiletries and artificial fragrances here.
Cheap candles.
Novelty sets
Boots have a lot to answer for!
Cheap candles.
Novelty sets
Boots have a lot to answer for!
MIL one year bought DH a deluxe box of assorted nails.
She knows very well that he does no DIY whatsoever, so I suppose in a roundabout way it was a present for me.
She knows very well that he does no DIY whatsoever, so I suppose in a roundabout way it was a present for me.
My brother bought me a space hopper a few years ago. I think he did it in a fit of nostalgia as we had one as kids and loved it but I don't think he realised that loving something at 6 does not make it a great present when you are 22! I was living in a tiny flat with no garden at the time too, I don't know where he thought I was going to bounce on it!
To be fair, for the birthday after that he bought me a smoothie maker which is one of my Best Presents Ever so he does get it right sometimes.
To be fair, for the birthday after that he bought me a smoothie maker which is one of my Best Presents Ever so he does get it right sometimes.
A jar of lime chutney and a jar of mango chutney. From a now (and not long after that) ex-boyfriend.
He insisted I open it infront of his family as 'it was something I'd really love'.
He insisted I open it infront of his family as 'it was something I'd really love'.
Mine was a giant rubber from my brother (I was about 30 at the time). The worst part was that he paid the postage which was about £7 because this horrendous present was so heavy. I left it in the stationary cupboard at work. As far as I know it is probably still there.
I think thats dear boyfriend if he then became DH
Exactly, Upwind. You've got it in a nutshell. .
.
Booboobedoo - can you explain yourself? Your brother (DB) turned up at your office and publicly presented you with fluffy handcuffs and chocolate body paint, so you married him? 
My friends dh bought her an adjustable socket set
And a dictionary 'Because we havent got one'
And a dictionary 'Because we havent got one'
I'm cheating now because this was in fact a birthday present.
First birthday with then DB (now DH), he turns up at my office with a plastic bag and hands it to me.
"Go on, open it now", he says excitedly. In front of my assistant, I pull out some (unwrapped) fluffy handcuffs and some chocolate bodypaint.
He thought he'd done really well, bless him.
First birthday with then DB (now DH), he turns up at my office with a plastic bag and hands it to me.
"Go on, open it now", he says excitedly. In front of my assistant, I pull out some (unwrapped) fluffy handcuffs and some chocolate bodypaint.
He thought he'd done really well, bless him.
rofl - musical cake knife
Perfect for the mil - cheers!
Perfect for the mil - cheers!
at you all
Message withdrawn
Worst present would be another home-made hamper from MIL and her mother jointly. They sit there whilst I open the offending items one by one - novelty patterned napkins, musical cake knife, small china dogs.....this list goes on. And I have to pretend that each ill-thought out item is exactly what I wanted for Christmas. Hideous. The only nice thing was the basket.
And DH gave me a pan one year. He hasn't done that since, but still doesn't understand what he did wrong.
And DH gave me a pan one year. He hasn't done that since, but still doesn't understand what he did wrong.
An oil burner
An ornament which MIL thinks is stylish (bought from the shops at skegness Seafront)
A cuddly toy holding a love heart .
Anything from Elizabeth Duke.
An ornament which MIL thinks is stylish (bought from the shops at skegness Seafront)
A cuddly toy holding a love heart .
Anything from Elizabeth Duke.
When i was 13/14 I got a duvat and duvet cover as my main present. Was gutted!!
I know I wanted it as we had only had blankets upto that point - but not for christmas!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm still traumatised now.
I know I wanted it as we had only had blankets upto that point - but not for christmas!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm still traumatised now.
My brother-in-law gave me this musical cake knife once. That was highly unsuitable.
Festively flavoured coffee is the other most inappropriate gift I can think of. WHY would you want your coffee to taste of cinnamon or hazelnuts?
Festively flavoured coffee is the other most inappropriate gift I can think of. WHY would you want your coffee to taste of cinnamon or hazelnuts?
oh, just remembered another classic from my mum. A few years back I got a meat thermometer as a Christmas present. She knows that my DP is a pescetarian (pescatarian? whatever, we don't eat meat at home). The only time I cook a roast is at her house, once a year, at Christmas.
It's still in the box.
It's still in the box.
And, from the same person, a bottle green faux-suede wallet with Winnie The Pooh on.
No, some of you may have seen my vitriolic rants regarding a)Disney's reanimation of the corpse of poor old Winnie and b)the type of woman who has a penchant for seeing his image on their personal effects, but clearly this woman hadn't. So I smiled and thanked her and put it in the toy box the second she left.
It was expensive too, that was the worst of it.
No, some of you may have seen my vitriolic rants regarding a)Disney's reanimation of the corpse of poor old Winnie and b)the type of woman who has a penchant for seeing his image on their personal effects, but clearly this woman hadn't. So I smiled and thanked her and put it in the toy box the second she left.
It was expensive too, that was the worst of it.
mil once bought me a bag that turned into a handy waterproof. i didn't really understand why she thought i needed a bag that turned into a coat.
A high necked square cut chunky beige fleece, a size too small.
I have large breasts. Did she want me to look like a camel?
I have large breasts. Did she want me to look like a camel?
EachPeach I love my FIL a lot. Now I just open anything he gives me with due care and attention. No wild, carfree ripping of wrapping paper. You never know what might fall out in your lap.
My MIL once bought me one of those boxes of cheap and nasty soap, you know the ones with six soaps in pink, lemon, white and they've all got a picture of a flower on the top of them; so they went straight to the charity shop in town the first day it opened after the Christmas break. MIL came to vist over new year, went down the town for a wander and came back with the same bloody box of soap, oh look I've found you another one now you've got two.
I was so tempted to take it back while she was there to see how many times she would buy it back for me.
For the last three years she's bought me a tea towel with a recipe on the front - I look forward to unwrapping that tea towel and then drying the Christmas washing up with it.
I was so tempted to take it back while she was there to see how many times she would buy it back for me.
For the last three years she's bought me a tea towel with a recipe on the front - I look forward to unwrapping that tea towel and then drying the Christmas washing up with it.
a dog
MY BIL bought his wife a dishwasher once.
Also I believe one year she was the happy recipient of an iron.
My worst present would be slippers - hate 'em.
Or Playboy jewellery.
Also I believe one year she was the happy recipient of an iron.
My worst present would be slippers - hate 'em.
Or Playboy jewellery.
Crusha
slubber he must be demented
I am just stunned.
I am just stunned.
When I was about 10, I had been saving my last big present from my mum until last - I can't remember what it was I wanted, but I recall there was something definite I'd asked for. I opened the gift to find...an electric blanket.
I was a generally polite child, but I was so taken aback I couldn't do anything but sit there silently in dismay. I remember it especially, because there had recently been a Watchdog or some such consumer program about the dangers of electric blankets catching fire. It was never used. That was my worst present ever. If I were ever given another one, that would be the most unsuitable present ever. That and the odd metal dog-faced sex-mask from Coco de Mer that someone put on another thread.
I was a generally polite child, but I was so taken aback I couldn't do anything but sit there silently in dismay. I remember it especially, because there had recently been a Watchdog or some such consumer program about the dangers of electric blankets catching fire. It was never used. That was my worst present ever. If I were ever given another one, that would be the most unsuitable present ever. That and the odd metal dog-faced sex-mask from Coco de Mer that someone put on another thread.
My god, I came on this thread for some light relief and instead I have been totally corrupted.
OK, now a gimp doll is on my Christmas list! along with wee coloured bath bombs, naff undies, a vibrator and Jonathan and Darlene Edwards Greatest Hits Volume 2.
OK, now a gimp doll is on my Christmas list!
along with wee coloured bath bombs, naff undies, a vibrator and Jonathan and Darlene Edwards Greatest Hits Volume 2.
My god, I came on this thread for some light relief and instead I have been totally corrupted.
OK, now a gimp doll is on my Christmas list! along with wee coloured bath bombs, naff undies, a vibrator and Jonathan and Darlene Edwards Greatest Hits Volume 2.
OK, now a gimp doll is on my Christmas list!
along with wee coloured bath bombs, naff undies, a vibrator and Jonathan and Darlene Edwards Greatest Hits Volume 2.
EachPeach, I believe he got it from Brighton. I believe he got it in an attempt to make his new DIL shriek in suprise and alarm and fall backwards in her chair in the manner of a Monty Python MrsPepperpot.
herbietea, g-strings, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
herbietea, g-strings, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Ah, this reminds me of when I was first married to 1st H, and his Nan gave us a toilet roll holder in the shape of the rear half of a Beetle car, made of earthenware. She obviously thought it would go well in our first flat. It never made it to the bathroom wall funnily enough.
OMG Slubber and I thought my IL's were pervy!
My IL's gave me a set of really saucy undies for Christmas in 1996 - I was knackered as I gave birth the day before and burst into tears when I saw them. DH was really and 
.
The year before last I got two of the smallest G-strings I have ever seen from them. DS1 was 12 and he burst out laughing saying "You don't get much for your money do you Mum?"
I am dreading what I get this year - last year was a necklace so I must be prepared for a shock this year!
and .The year before last I got two of the smallest G-strings I have ever seen from them. DS1 was 12 and he burst out laughing saying "You don't get much for your money do you Mum?"
I am dreading what I get this year - last year was a necklace so I must be prepared for a shock this year!
Where on earth did he buy such a thing? and why?
Thank you EachPeach. I was norty but feel suitably reprimanded.
Jux a gimp doll, is exactly what is says on the tin. A doll dressed in bondage gear with a zippable face mask on. What sort of look do you arrange your face into when your FIL gives you one? Sadly, I did not know the answer to this question 2 years ago.
Jux a gimp doll, is exactly what is says on the tin. A doll dressed in bondage gear with a zippable face mask on. What sort of look do you arrange your face into when your FIL gives you one? Sadly, I did not know the answer to this question 2 years ago.
Yees I was wondering that, but after the sextoys and warm wee, I became afeard to ask!
What on earth is a gimp doll?
Mmm warm wee... This thread is getting positively kinky .
.
I once got a yellow bath bomb. It was like sitting in a bath filled with warm wee.
Ummm - just hope they hadn't tried them out first .
Sorry, I'm still thinking about Fattipuff's pepper grinder.
.Sorry, I'm still thinking about Fattipuff's pepper grinder.
Well that killed the thread
Sextoys from the inlaws
This is the mn police .... slubber step away from the internet, I repeat move away from the keyboard until your alloted time....
Anything my MIL buys me. Cheap frilly bags, cheap slippers, cheap frilly hair clips, bows and ribbons. I am really not a frilly type of person and hate cheap shit. However, the excitement of having a female personage to buy for after two DS's was clearly too much.
The worst one ever was the Christmas after DD was born - a pair of Snoopy pyjamas. Size large. I have no idea in the world why she thought I'd like it, but she doesn't actually think about whether the recipient would like the present or find it useful, but whether there is a red money-off sticker on it - she then selects a victim for the vile item.
I have asked DH to tell her not to get me anything but he refuses as watching me give an Oscar-worthy performance of how lovely it all is, is one of the highlights of his Christmas
The worst one ever was the Christmas after DD was born - a pair of Snoopy pyjamas. Size large. I have no idea in the world why she thought I'd like it, but she doesn't actually think about whether the recipient would like the present or find it useful, but whether there is a red money-off sticker on it - she then selects a victim for the vile item.
I have asked DH to tell her not to get me anything but he refuses as watching me give an Oscar-worthy performance of how lovely it all is, is one of the highlights of his Christmas
Tanee, no an average size one, which pretty much stopped working after a few weeks. Pepper grinder, that is
Bath stuff, I hate baths its just floating in your own skin and dirt in slightly scneted water. Vile.
Any alcohol gift sets, the wine is always rank and I just don't drink them.
And any novelty DVD game, or drinking game set. No.
Any alcohol gift sets, the wine is always rank and I just don't drink them.
And any novelty DVD game, or drinking game set. No.
A Gimp Doll. That would be awful. Oh no wait a minute, FIL gave me one 2 years ago.
After the gimp doll anything is a welcome improvement.
After the gimp doll anything is a welcome improvement.
My SIL gave me for my birthday yesterday....
A decorative scent holder
A decorative scent holder
Fattipuffs - was it a very LARGE pepper grinder?
lol at Marmite! She must have tried them on first then
Chanel 5 smells like cats pee on me - or maybe it's that the exbf who bought it for me probably got it from a market stall...?
One year my dad gave me a poncho thing that made me look like Clint Eastwood.
Seems a theme going here - the men in my life give lousy gifts.
- or maybe it's that the exbf who bought it for me probably got it from a market stall...? One year my dad gave me a poncho thing that made me look like Clint Eastwood.
Seems a theme going here - the men in my life give lousy gifts.
CD of Jonathan and Darlene Edwards' Greatest Hits from my then DH - Very funny ha ha, but then I looked for my REAL pressie from him - and found that that was it. One stupid CD. Maybe that's when our marriage started to die..
Oh and he reduced DD to tears when she was 4 by giving her the Beatles White Album when what she wanted was the Spice Girls!
Oh and he reduced DD to tears when she was 4 by giving her the Beatles White Album when what she wanted was the Spice Girls!
I love Chanel No5! Lucky you!
My exMIL once bought these clear tree baubles, you opened them and there were knickers inside, they were from Knickerbox or somewhere. She got them for her and her 2 daughters. Said to me,
"I would have got one for you, but the large fitted me."
So my worst present would be to get her back.
My exMIL once bought these clear tree baubles, you opened them and there were knickers inside, they were from Knickerbox or somewhere. She got them for her and her 2 daughters. Said to me,
"I would have got one for you, but the large fitted me."
So my worst present would be to get her back.
Perkin - I would much rather send you flowers than ungrateful SIL (we bought her a lovely spa day for her 40th - when asked if she had enjoyed it, she complained that she hadn't had anyone to enjoy it with). Dh threatened last year that we would stop buying presents for any of his family and spend on the MN Christmas Appeal instead.
Chanel No5 - I now have bottles of the stuff, mostly from the same relative
Kitchen/food type gift sets
Books esp cookery and novelty books
Clothes
Kitchen/food type gift sets
Books esp cookery and novelty books
Clothes
nail polish, my DH also bought me an electric blanket one year. He thought it was a great present as well...and I couldn't hide the fact that i thought it was crap and he was so upset!! Poor thing...he's normally so good at pressies too!
All of these very funny
Got a pepper grinder from an exboyf once How romantic.
My grandfather gave me a bottle of Tramp "perfume" [sic] when I was about 9. I actually thought it was really glamorous at the time.
Got a pepper grinder from an exboyf once
How romantic.My grandfather gave me a bottle of Tramp "perfume" [sic] when I was about 9. I actually thought it was really glamorous at the time.
Anything that requires time away from the children to use it...I do not have this luxury!
I have asked for socks as i only need socks.
DP (sort of) asked me what I would like
I just went 'Blimey' and looked at the floor and blushed.
He is going to be on some caribbean beach anyway so does not apply.
I have asked for socks as i only need socks.
DP (sort of) asked me what I would like
I just went 'Blimey' and looked at the floor and blushed.
He is going to be on some caribbean beach anyway so does not apply.
Roller skates or a skate board as I can't walk without crutches!
flowers.. <wistful sigh>
no farker ever sends me flowers.....
no farker ever sends me flowers.....
Any item of clothing that is white.
ILs buy me white clothes every year (hat & gloves, cardies etc.). They have never seen me in white. White does not suit me. Not only am i very pale i am a size 16.
I have a dog.
And two young boys.
I live in the country near muddy fields.
Need i go on?
<who the hell can wear white gloves?>
ILs buy me white clothes every year (hat & gloves, cardies etc.). They have never seen me in white. White does not suit me. Not only am i very pale i am a size 16.
I have a dog.
And two young boys.
I live in the country near muddy fields.
Need i go on?
<who the hell can wear white gloves?>
This year, a box of my favourite chocolates, because ds is milk intolerant and breastfed, so I wouldn't be able to eat them.
Generally any toiletry type stuff, because I'm allergic to perfumes/colourings.
Generally any toiletry type stuff, because I'm allergic to perfumes/colourings.
Kath???
Cmot, sounds nice.
I don't think anyone could go wrong with posh delivered flowers.
Cmot, sounds nice.
I don't think anyone could go wrong with posh delivered flowers.
er, because they are sugar pills.... and if you just bought a kit you would not even get the placebo effect/possibility of getting some helpful advice that you would get at a consultation.
Moondog - carefully chosen Elemis/Molton Brown sets, good wine, CD's she has asked for, flowers. Anything we can think of that might be really nice as she will never give us a clue, and we don't see them that much
Not sure to be honest - it's still sitting unopened in the basement - she bought everyone a bottle.
To be fair I think she thought I like wine and chocs and never thought about combined taste.
Maybe if I am feeling brave I will open it later and give it a try.
To be fair I think she thought I like wine and chocs and never thought about combined taste.
Maybe if I am feeling brave I will open it later and give it a try.
Naf clothes from shops I'd never be never be seen dead in.
Ornaments....of any description. I don't do them and my mum should know better. She bought me the cheap and nasty cardigan too. I really would be happier with nothing.
Ornaments....of any description. I don't do them and my mum should know better. She bought me the cheap and nasty cardigan too. I really would be happier with nothing.
Why is that Kath?
wine or champagne. I don't drink either anyway plus I'm pregnant now. Didn't stop grandmil last time who bought us chocs and wine and of course dh wins as he wants his share of choc as well.
Candles in a house where there are 2 asd kids. Unless accompanied by fire extinguisher I guess.
Moondog we are sure it was a collect items thing from Iceland! Kerry Katona has alot to answer for
Oh SpookyMadMummy you've made me laugh!
One of those homeopathy for childbirth kits would probably go down quite badly with me.
First Christmas ever dh bought me a linen wall hanging pocket thing and Oxfam cookbook.
Last year was Christmas of stinging goatskin jerkin (size 20-am a 12)from Tajikistan.
Last year was Christmas of stinging goatskin jerkin (size 20-am a 12)from Tajikistan.
WHAT THE FUCK is chocoalte wine
Brill re dinner set.
This is v funny.
This is v funny.
no it inst a prob re the freebies
but she fobs them off as bought presents which i think is stupid
but she fobs them off as bought presents which i think is stupid
MIL bought us a dinner service without plates in it She claimed it was not a dinner service but a tea set although there was no teapot/milk jug and there were 2 gravy boats with it.
She claimed it was not a dinner service but a tea set although there was no teapot/milk jug and there were 2 gravy boats with it.
my dh bought me an electric blanket one year
inside was hidden a bottle of chanel but he wont EVER do that again...
inside was hidden a bottle of chanel but he wont EVER do that again...
chocolate wine
NP what is the problem.As long as they are useful?
NP what is the problem.As long as they are useful?
my SIL gives me all the freebies she gets from the estee lauder/clinque/clarins counters she gets when she buys her make up/skincare
she thinks i dont know they are freebies
she thinks i dont know they are freebies
I got bought a blow torch by hubby 2 years ago which resulted in floods of tears as was 7 months pregnant.
He said i could make creme brulee = i hate it.
Also chocolate wine by inlaws.
He said i could make creme brulee = i hate it.
Also chocolate wine by inlaws.
cmot, what do yuo buy for her??
Cheese sets.
Novelty kitchen items.
Chick lit books /DVDs
Candles
And what will evil SIL buy this year ? The low point so far was a bottle of dip (clearly containing gluten which I can't have) and a cheap and nasty candle. Or was it the giant perspex pepper grinder filled with an assortment of coloured peppercorns..
Novelty kitchen items.
Chick lit books /DVDs
Candles
And what will evil SIL buy this year ? The low point so far was a bottle of dip (clearly containing gluten which I can't have) and a cheap and nasty candle. Or was it the giant perspex pepper grinder filled with an assortment of coloured peppercorns..
Have loads of Def Leppard on iPod for gym.
Pour some sugar on me
Animal
<shakes poodle perm defiantly>
Pour some sugar on me
Animal
<shakes poodle perm defiantly>
Howzabout one fo those appalling 'experiences'? Sommething like driving around a windy track in a vaguely sporty car with some dull bloke called Graham who is only doing it because he wasn't good enough to race professionally?
Slippers
I get a pair from someone every year
By 16th Jan they ming because I have foot odour ishoos
I get a pair from someone every year
By 16th Jan they ming because I have foot odour ishoos
def leppard
you go MD!
you go MD!
A family tree type book.
Ah.
(unlikely bit is warm Nov. in Aberdeen, not me being with fit bloke.)
(unlikely bit is warm Nov. in Aberdeen, not me being with fit bloke.)
bethany shop is like the britsh heart foundation but better
Boys are back in town=Thin Lizzy
Remember v pleasant road trip to Aberdeen with that on a loop circa 1986 and then rolling with fit lad from E'burgh in sand dunes on a warm Novemeber.
Unlikely I know, but true.
Remember v pleasant road trip to Aberdeen with that on a loop circa 1986 and then rolling with fit lad from E'burgh in sand dunes on a warm Novemeber.
Unlikely I know, but true.
body lotion
I get it every year. but I'm too lazy/hurried to apply the stuff. Even have some good quality Molton Brown stuff gathering dust, long after the matching shower gel has been finished.
Oh, and kitchen gear. I can see the logic:
MIL thinks "Perkin likes cooking so she love this infused oil/cheeseboard/cookie cutter set", whereas my either I already have the offending item, or I've not got one because it's not worth having [ungrateful emoticon].
I get it every year. but I'm too lazy/hurried to apply the stuff. Even have some good quality Molton Brown stuff gathering dust, long after the matching shower gel has been finished.
Oh, and kitchen gear. I can see the logic:
MIL thinks "Perkin likes cooking so she love this infused oil/cheeseboard/cookie cutter set", whereas my either I already have the offending item, or I've not got one because it's not worth having [ungrateful emoticon].
I got silky underwear from MIL one year.
It said "Party" on the back ...
WTF?!!
It said "Party" on the back ...
WTF?!!
(Wot is Bethany shop?)
Ah c'mon, who doesn't like a good 'driving anthem'?
Radar Love= Golden Earring
Would defy you not to tap xteering wheel and bellow along.
Ah c'mon, who doesn't like a good 'driving anthem'?
Radar Love= Golden Earring
Would defy you not to tap xteering wheel and bellow along.
my dad always buys me crabtree and evenlyn or arran aromatics
i dont acutually like it
i dont acutually like it
lmao
vibrator!!!!
Fucking hell.
vibrator!!!!
Fucking hell.
oh god no MD not driving anthems
status quo etc
status quo etc
I am this <holds up index finger and thumb. Same hand. Obv.> far from taking nearest and dearest gently by the shoulders and saying
'Please I beg of you, don't buy me anything this year. Really, don't. You'd be doing me a huge favour.'
'Please I beg of you, don't buy me anything this year. Really, don't. You'd be doing me a huge favour.'
FIL bought me a vibrator last year . Not sure if he realised thats what it was but it definitely was!
. Not sure if he realised thats what it was but it definitely was!
im an ungrateful cow too
last year elderly aunt of dhs gave me leather mule slippers
they were so horrible
i looked up at her beaming and she had the same pair on
omg i was so mortified
dh later informed me they cost £50!!!!
they were those van dal thingys
when i handed them into the bethany shop the woman at the counter im sure immediately puyt them on her own feet when i left
last year elderly aunt of dhs gave me leather mule slippers
they were so horrible
i looked up at her beaming and she had the same pair on
omg i was so mortified
dh later informed me they cost £50!!!!
they were those van dal thingys
when i handed them into the bethany shop the woman at the counter im sure immediately puyt them on her own feet when i left
a full length white cotton nightie from my (now ex) MIL. just looking at it made me feel about 90.
but i love candles!
but i love candles!
(I quite fancy some of those driving anthems though. Being a crazy devil may care SALT in my oh so sensible Renault people carrier tearing off to next ememrgency language group appointment.)
Candles
Bath oil (I can't stand baths, I prefer showers)
Drinking party games (i'm nearly sodding 40)
Wine we don't like (Country Manor, rose, Rougemont Castle - MIL only ever buys 'medium sweet' wine <bauk>)
Chick flick films
Chick lit books
I am SO ungrateful
Bath oil (I can't stand baths, I prefer showers)
Drinking party games (i'm nearly sodding 40)
Wine we don't like (Country Manor, rose, Rougemont Castle - MIL only ever buys 'medium sweet' wine <bauk>)
Chick flick films
Chick lit books
I am SO ungrateful
lol at shower gel MD
im glad its not just me
im glad its not just me
Ah yes, the slippers and cheese 'n port combo.
Classy. Very classy.
Classy. Very classy.
A gift set of jam. Why? Why? Why?
well i ws doing my weekly messages today in asda nd you should have seen the shelves groaning under the weight of utter shite
gift wrapped cheese knives
mingin port and cheese sets
horrid motif slippers
matching necklace and earring sets that were hideous i had to avert my eyes
'megamix' cds like 'best of the 60's' 'best driving anthems ever'
wht posseses some poeple i do not know
gift wrapped cheese knives
mingin port and cheese sets
horrid motif slippers
matching necklace and earring sets that were hideous i had to avert my eyes
'megamix' cds like 'best of the 60's' 'best driving anthems ever'
wht posseses some poeple i do not know
My MIL gave me a revolting home-made vodka-cake once.
She thinks I'm an alcoholic because I insist on bringing bubbly over on Christmas Day.
She thinks I'm an alcoholic because I insist on bringing bubbly over on Christmas Day.
While I'm on subject, waht is point of shower gel?
Put it on and its straight down the plughole?
Put it on and its straight down the plughole?
Any type of bath toiletries for me (I take showers).
A box set of anything would horrify me.
I once got a huge chunky address book that was tied in to that tv programme 'Coast'.
Eh?????
I once got a huge chunky address book that was tied in to that tv programme 'Coast'.
Eh?????
My hairdryer was on its way out so dh bought another one for me and hid it for Christmas. Fortunately dd told me (4.5, completely unable to keep secrets ) so when the hairdryer did conk out I didn't go and get another one and just asked dh for the new one! I am so glad, I would probably have hit him over the head with it if I'd unwrapped it on Christmas Day. Hairdryers are up there with liquidisers and irons imo - household gadgets that are useful but not Christmaspresentworthy.
) so when the hairdryer did conk out I didn't go and get another one and just asked dh for the new one! I am so glad, I would probably have hit him over the head with it if I'd unwrapped it on Christmas Day. Hairdryers are up there with liquidisers and irons imo - household gadgets that are useful but not Christmaspresentworthy.
Dear God, why do we do it????
There exists an entire tanker full of candles/toiletry sets/dvds that never get used-just fly from one person to other and eventually end up in British Heart Foundation.
There exists an entire tanker full of candles/toiletry sets/dvds that never get used-just fly from one person to other and eventually end up in British Heart Foundation.
an ABBA boxset
argh
argh
A rom com DVD.
<baulk>
<baulk>
https://www.the-emporium.co.uk/productdetail.php?productid=098353
These. Not only do they look vile but I can't stand the smell of lavender. (DH take note, never again please...)
These. Not only do they look vile but I can't stand the smell of lavender. (DH take note, never again please...)
candles
chocolate
candles
squeaky acrylic cardigan
chocolate
candles
squeaky acrylic cardigan
i've had earings off my uncle before and have never had my ears pierced. had 9 bottles of wine last year and i was bf so wasn't drinking.
Bored board games partic. drinking ones.
Why on earth do I need an excuse to drink?
Why on earth do I need an excuse to drink?
Also big boxs of chocolates (yuck) and a wine box of something like Piesporter or Country Manor.
For moi I think gift set of cheap oil 'infused' with some grass herbs along with some dried out spices and a crap mortar and pestle.