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Mumsnet Discussions:
Christmas '08
: What would be the ^worst^ and most unsuitable Christmas present you could possibly receive?
(179 messages)
Dear God, why do we do it???? There exists an entire tanker full of candles/toiletry sets/dvds that never get used-just fly from one person to other and eventually end up in British Heart Foundation.
My hairdryer was on its way out so dh bought another one for me and hid it for Christmas. Fortunately dd told me (4.5, completely unable to keep secrets ) so when the hairdryer did conk out I didn't go and get another one and just asked dh for the new one! I am so glad, I would probably have hit him over the head with it if I'd unwrapped it on Christmas Day. Hairdryers are up there with liquidisers and irons imo - household gadgets that are useful but not Christmaspresentworthy.
well i ws doing my weekly messages today in asda nd you should have seen the shelves groaning under the weight of utter shite gift wrapped cheese knives mingin port and cheese sets horrid motif slippers matching necklace and earring sets that were hideous i had to avert my eyes 'megamix' cds like 'best of the 60's' 'best driving anthems ever'
Candles Bath oil (I can't stand baths, I prefer showers) Drinking party games (i'm nearly sodding 40) Wine we don't like (Country Manor, rose, Rougemont Castle - MIL only ever buys 'medium sweet' wine <bauk>) Chick flick films Chick lit books
(I quite fancy some of those driving anthems though. Being a crazy devil may care SALT in my oh so sensible Renault people carrier tearing off to next ememrgency language group appointment.)
last year elderly aunt of dhs gave me leather mule slippers they were so horrible i looked up at her beaming and she had the same pair on omg i was so mortified dh later informed me they cost £50!!!! they were those van dal thingys
when i handed them into the bethany shop the woman at the counter im sure immediately puyt them on her own feet when i left
body lotion I get it every year. but I'm too lazy/hurried to apply the stuff. Even have some good quality Molton Brown stuff gathering dust, long after the matching shower gel has been finished.
Oh, and kitchen gear. I can see the logic: MIL thinks "Perkin likes cooking so she love this infused oil/cheeseboard/cookie cutter set", whereas my either I already have the offending item, or I've not got one because it's not worth having [ungrateful emoticon].
Howzabout one fo those appalling 'experiences'? Sommething like driving around a windy track in a vaguely sporty car with some dull bloke called Graham who is only doing it because he wasn't good enough to race professionally?
And what will evil SIL buy this year ? The low point so far was a bottle of dip (clearly containing gluten which I can't have) and a cheap and nasty candle. Or was it the giant perspex pepper grinder filled with an assortment of coloured peppercorns..
I got bought a blow torch by hubby 2 years ago which resulted in floods of tears as was 7 months pregnant. He said i could make creme brulee = i hate it.
MIL bought us a dinner service without plates in it She claimed it was not a dinner service but a tea set although there was no teapot/milk jug and there were 2 gravy boats with it.
wine or champagne. I don't drink either anyway plus I'm pregnant now. Didn't stop grandmil last time who bought us chocs and wine and of course dh wins as he wants his share of choc as well.
Naf clothes from shops I'd never be never be seen dead in.
Ornaments....of any description. I don't do them and my mum should know better. She bought me the cheap and nasty cardigan too. I really would be happier with nothing.
Not sure to be honest - it's still sitting unopened in the basement - she bought everyone a bottle. To be fair I think she thought I like wine and chocs and never thought about combined taste. Maybe if I am feeling brave I will open it later and give it a try.
Moondog - carefully chosen Elemis/Molton Brown sets, good wine, CD's she has asked for, flowers. Anything we can think of that might be really nice as she will never give us a clue, and we don't see them that much
er, because they are sugar pills.... and if you just bought a kit you would not even get the placebo effect/possibility of getting some helpful advice that you would get at a consultation.
ILs buy me white clothes every year (hat & gloves, cardies etc.). They have never seen me in white. White does not suit me. Not only am i very pale i am a size 16.
nail polish, my DH also bought me an electric blanket one year. He thought it was a great present as well...and I couldn't hide the fact that i thought it was crap and he was so upset!! Poor thing...he's normally so good at pressies too!
Perkin - I would much rather send you flowers than ungrateful SIL (we bought her a lovely spa day for her 40th - when asked if she had enjoyed it, she complained that she hadn't had anyone to enjoy it with). Dh threatened last year that we would stop buying presents for any of his family and spend on the MN Christmas Appeal instead.
My exMIL once bought these clear tree baubles, you opened them and there were knickers inside, they were from Knickerbox or somewhere. She got them for her and her 2 daughters. Said to me,
"I would have got one for you, but the large fitted me."
CD of Jonathan and Darlene Edwards' Greatest Hits from my then DH - Very funny ha ha, but then I looked for my REAL pressie from him - and found that that was it. One stupid CD. Maybe that's when our marriage started to die..
Oh and he reduced DD to tears when she was 4 by giving her the Beatles White Album when what she wanted was the Spice Girls!
Anything my MIL buys me. Cheap frilly bags, cheap slippers, cheap frilly hair clips, bows and ribbons. I am really not a frilly type of person and hate cheap shit. However, the excitement of having a female personage to buy for after two DS's was clearly too much.
The worst one ever was the Christmas after DD was born - a pair of Snoopy pyjamas. Size large. I have no idea in the world why she thought I'd like it, but she doesn't actually think about whether the recipient would like the present or find it useful, but whether there is a red money-off sticker on it - she then selects a victim for the vile item.
I have asked DH to tell her not to get me anything but he refuses as watching me give an Oscar-worthy performance of how lovely it all is, is one of the highlights of his Christmas
Thank you EachPeach. I was norty but feel suitably reprimanded.
Jux a gimp doll, is exactly what is says on the tin. A doll dressed in bondage gear with a zippable face mask on. What sort of look do you arrange your face into when your FIL gives you one? Sadly, I did not know the answer to this question 2 years ago.
My IL's gave me a set of really saucy undies for Christmas in 1996 - I was knackered as I gave birth the day before and burst into tears when I saw them. DH was really and .
The year before last I got two of the smallest G-strings I have ever seen from them. DS1 was 12 and he burst out laughing saying "You don't get much for your money do you Mum?"
I am dreading what I get this year - last year was a necklace so I must be prepared for a shock this year!
Ah, this reminds me of when I was first married to 1st H, and his Nan gave us a toilet roll holder in the shape of the rear half of a Beetle car, made of earthenware. She obviously thought it would go well in our first flat. It never made it to the bathroom wall funnily enough.
EachPeach, I believe he got it from Brighton. I believe he got it in an attempt to make his new DIL shriek in suprise and alarm and fall backwards in her chair in the manner of a Monty Python MrsPepperpot.
My god, I came on this thread for some light relief and instead I have been totally corrupted.
OK, now a gimp doll is on my Christmas list! along with wee coloured bath bombs, naff undies, a vibrator and Jonathan and Darlene Edwards Greatest Hits Volume 2.
My god, I came on this thread for some light relief and instead I have been totally corrupted.
OK, now a gimp doll is on my Christmas list! along with wee coloured bath bombs, naff undies, a vibrator and Jonathan and Darlene Edwards Greatest Hits Volume 2.
When I was about 10, I had been saving my last big present from my mum until last - I can't remember what it was I wanted, but I recall there was something definite I'd asked for. I opened the gift to find...an electric blanket.
I was a generally polite child, but I was so taken aback I couldn't do anything but sit there silently in dismay. I remember it especially, because there had recently been a Watchdog or some such consumer program about the dangers of electric blankets catching fire. It was never used. That was my worst present ever. If I were ever given another one, that would be the most unsuitable present ever. That and the odd metal dog-faced sex-mask from Coco de Mer that someone put on another thread.
My MIL once bought me one of those boxes of cheap and nasty soap, you know the ones with six soaps in pink, lemon, white and they've all got a picture of a flower on the top of them; so they went straight to the charity shop in town the first day it opened after the Christmas break. MIL came to vist over new year, went down the town for a wander and came back with the same bloody box of soap, oh look I've found you another one now you've got two.
I was so tempted to take it back while she was there to see how many times she would buy it back for me.
For the last three years she's bought me a tea towel with a recipe on the front - I look forward to unwrapping that tea towel and then drying the Christmas washing up with it.
EachPeach I love my FIL a lot. Now I just open anything he gives me with due care and attention. No wild, carfree ripping of wrapping paper. You never know what might fall out in your lap.
And, from the same person, a bottle green faux-suede wallet with Winnie The Pooh on.
No, some of you may have seen my vitriolic rants regarding a)Disney's reanimation of the corpse of poor old Winnie and b)the type of woman who has a penchant for seeing his image on their personal effects, but clearly this woman hadn't. So I smiled and thanked her and put it in the toy box the second she left.
oh, just remembered another classic from my mum. A few years back I got a meat thermometer as a Christmas present. She knows that my DP is a pescetarian (pescatarian? whatever, we don't eat meat at home). The only time I cook a roast is at her house, once a year, at Christmas.
Worst present would be another home-made hamper from MIL and her mother jointly. They sit there whilst I open the offending items one by one - novelty patterned napkins, musical cake knife, small china dogs.....this list goes on. And I have to pretend that each ill-thought out item is exactly what I wanted for Christmas. Hideous. The only nice thing was the basket.
And DH gave me a pan one year. He hasn't done that since, but still doesn't understand what he did wrong.
Booboobedoo - can you explain yourself? Your brother (DB) turned up at your office and publicly presented you with fluffy handcuffs and chocolate body paint, so you married him?
Mine was a giant rubber from my brother (I was about 30 at the time). The worst part was that he paid the postage which was about £7 because this horrendous present was so heavy. I left it in the stationary cupboard at work. As far as I know it is probably still there.
My brother bought me a space hopper a few years ago. I think he did it in a fit of nostalgia as we had one as kids and loved it but I don't think he realised that loving something at 6 does not make it a great present when you are 22! I was living in a tiny flat with no garden at the time too, I don't know where he thought I was going to bounce on it! To be fair, for the birthday after that he bought me a smoothie maker which is one of my Best Presents Ever so he does get it right sometimes.
) so when the hairdryer did conk out I didn't go and get another one and just asked dh for the new one! I am so glad, I would probably have hit him over the head with it if I'd unwrapped it on Christmas Day. Hairdryers are up there with liquidisers and irons imo - household gadgets that are useful but not Christmaspresentworthy. 
. Not sure if he realised thats what it was but it definitely was! 
She claimed it was not a dinner service but a tea set although there was no teapot/milk jug and there were 2 gravy boats with it. 
