Fellow Mner needs awful present for awful ILS any ideas?

(102 Posts)
whatwouldjesusdo Mon 25-Dec-06 23:41:15

ahem - my children have got a revolving aquarium lamp, to help them sleep. It is beautiful and extremely tasteful

MrsXwiththehorridILs Mon 25-Dec-06 11:17:00

OMG they loved it.. the aquarium revolving lamp has pride of place....

Better luck next year...

nannynickers Tue 12-Dec-06 17:09:14
RanToTheHills Tue 12-Dec-06 16:26:58

well, my ILs "donate what they would have spent on presents to charity" except that we never are told which one, what on etc when we did the oxfam "give a goat" type thing for them, complete with card etc. Made me actually, esp as they're loaded. It's the lack of care that gets to me most. Maybe I'll go for the lavender this year too!

MrsXwiththehorridILs Tue 12-Dec-06 16:21:44

Just thought I'd let you all know... DH loved this thread.. and in the end we decided on a moving aquarium lamp... tacky but she'll probably love it! it beats the dinner service she gave us one year.... withiout plates in it!

thanks all
Love mrs X XX

stumpydogsbaubles Tue 05-Dec-06 11:36:39

do they have false teeth ? - toffee

PandasNotJust4Xmas Tue 05-Dec-06 10:56:45

I thought this would make a particularly nice pressie for the classy people in your life

BaileysMilkshake Tue 05-Dec-06 10:54:52

Lavendar toiletries for MIL and Old Spice for FIL - both considered as products for old people these days -(at least in our family - no offence to anyone who uses and likes them)

My MIL was due for the lavendar until she got in first and asked for vouchers!

yULeYSEES Tue 05-Dec-06 10:20:17

wanderingstar, I bought some of those for my MIL as she'll love them She loves tack lol.

LoveMyGirls Mon 04-Dec-06 11:33:21

what about one of those fleece jackets with dogs on, im sure they sell them on the market?

fortyplus Mon 04-Dec-06 09:21:38

What about that game whe you all put a finger in and the one with the slowest reactions gets an electric shock? Your kids could have a great time playing it with them!

Or how about a gift token for some discs for their MP3 player - that'd confuse 'em!

I've also checked out the Argos catalogue - there's some spectacular stuff in there - eg

Glass dolphin clock - 4 glass dolphins 'swimming' around brass clock on a mirror base

'World's biggest hangover' set - includes bag for ice cubes to press on head.

A wide selection based on the game show 'Bullseye' - especially the '10" Bendy Bully With Sound' - only £14.99

Various dressing up outfits - can you picture mil as Wonder Woman & fil as Elvis Presley?

So what's it to be?

iceandaslice Sun 03-Dec-06 17:11:51

How about this for MIL?

I have a card of this, and when she's here, winding me up, I sneak upstairs for a quick fix of it! Is so appropriate!

wanderingstar Sun 03-Dec-06 16:29:51

Racing grannies set of 2 wind up toys from iwantoneofthose.com

faeriemum Sun 03-Dec-06 15:00:54
taylormama Sun 03-Dec-06 14:43:16

lulu - you haven't seen what i have got you for Xmas yet

lulumama Sun 03-Dec-06 14:41:36

<<slapping tm's wrist.....being too norty now..will tell mum!!>>

taylormama Sun 03-Dec-06 14:41:21

lulumama - i am norty he he he! Anyway what about a tasteful figurine of a dancing lady in a limited edition of 9 million - each one hand finished with real pretend gold plate???

taylormama Sun 03-Dec-06 14:39:42

you can allegedly get it off the tinternet

taylormama Sun 03-Dec-06 14:39:24

can't believe no-one has said viagra or is that totally pushing it?!

MrsXwithhorridILs Sun 03-Dec-06 14:10:29

am loving this!! have snorted and sprayed!! pmsl!

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve Sun 03-Dec-06 14:10:27

Buy them a bong

me23 Sun 03-Dec-06 14:09:42

how about buying them a toilet from oxfam unwrapped, a good cause but quite cheekY too or if they are prudish aswell how about some condom kits.

SpookyMadMerryChristmasMummy Sun 03-Dec-06 14:01:58


fortyplus Sun 03-Dec-06 13:53:02

taylormama at the doorbell!

What about those collectors' plates - some of the ones with fluffy kittens on are soooooo tasteful!

lulumama Sun 03-Dec-06 13:39:42

oh my good god...

have <<spraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayed>> and

<<snoooooooooooooooooooooooorted>> all over.. i can barely see the screen for spray & snort!!!!!!

can i just say, taylormama is my sister, i had no idea up till now she was so norty!!!!!!

ahs anyone mentioned the franklin mint collectibles???

taylormama Sun 03-Dec-06 13:26:59

shot glasses with amusing slogans on

Chandra Sun 03-Dec-06 13:26:45

You don't need to worry about what to get at all as any gift, and I really mean ANYTHING, will be misunderstood and judged upon if you have really horrible inlaws.

So, stop wasting time, get her a bread loaf and you are sorted!

taylormama Sun 03-Dec-06 13:26:44

sensual massage oil
drinking game

taylormama Sun 03-Dec-06 13:26:12

fourty - my FIL does have one of those doorbells! Ne ne ne neeee, ne ne ne neeeee <<snort>>

How about a caricature of each of them
or (i think this is my best one yet) those reading glasses that you can buy from the chemist in maximum strength and in deirdre barlow stylee

fortyplus Sun 03-Dec-06 13:22:38

Collection of Lilliput Lane cottages
Models made of brass
Plastic gnomes & windmill for the garden
New doorbell that plays 7 different tunes
China ornaments of couples entwined - preferably naked
I'm on a roll now...

fortyplus Sun 03-Dec-06 13:08:13

I'll start with the obvious...
Chocolate hot water bottle
Ashtray for motorbike
Reusable Condoms
Subscription to NUTS magazine (for MIL, obviously)
One of those big china models of a shire horse complete with leather harness pulling a wooden gipsy caravan
Voucher for Anne Summers - or better still, a present from Anne Summers.
A mini skirt
A blow up doll (I'm on a bit of a theme, here, aren't I?)
One of those inflatable light up 6' tall models of Homer Simpson to put in the front garden at Christmas
Just about any of those imitation stone statues they sell in garden centres - but preferably a donkey (then you can tell fil it reminds you of him!!!)
An indoor fountain, preferably with fibre optic lights
One of those moving light up pictures they're selling at the moment in shopping malls (my kids are desperate for one!)
Remnant of pink shag pile carpet for their bathroom
I'll try & think of more...

SantasFattymumma Sun 03-Dec-06 13:00:33

those manky ceramic swans with plastic flowers in.

fortyplus Sun 03-Dec-06 12:58:17

ooh.. only just seen this one - I'll go away and have a think...

MrsXwithhorridILs Sun 03-Dec-06 12:28:56

thanks everyone! if you think of any more....

MrsXwithhorridILs Sun 03-Dec-06 12:18:47

oooh like the idea of leopard print loo seat!
would go very nicely in their pink loo!

MyTwoChocolateCoinsWorth Sun 03-Dec-06 12:17:31

david hasselhoffs greatest hits
paris hiltons cd
leopard print toilet seat
moustache bleaching kit (for mil)
therabreath PLUS "extinguisher" breath spray

etc etc

HumphreyCushiONtheFirstNoel Sun 03-Dec-06 12:16:35

a matching pair of monocles.
a tandem.
a unicycle each.
a weekend at the Bates Motel.

MrsXwithhorridILs Sun 03-Dec-06 12:14:40

hehe! inspired greeny!

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve Sun 03-Dec-06 12:11:29

How about matching headstones? As we all know, it can be very comforting to have a little help with those "final expenses".....<puts on best Thora Hird voice>

taylormama Sun 03-Dec-06 12:03:20

a sixpack of tennants super strength lager

taylormama Sun 03-Dec-06 12:02:47

a novelty telephone - like a rugby ball

taylormama Sun 03-Dec-06 12:02:17

tooticky - i suggested something similar but the toilet is truly inspired!

MrsXwithhorridILs Sun 03-Dec-06 12:00:52

yes its tempting!

fliky Sun 03-Dec-06 11:59:43

that loo has to be the go with!!!

TooTickyDoves Sun 03-Dec-06 11:54:09

How about this or this ?
So worthwhile but certainly not what they might be expecting.

MrsXwithhorridILs Sun 03-Dec-06 11:53:37

now I am sure something on here has got to make newsletter/round up!

fliky Sun 03-Dec-06 11:52:34

I am getting horrible sister in law Intmately Beckham...She will not get the joke but we all will!!!

Carmenere Sun 03-Dec-06 11:52:31

Fire extinguisher.

Taylor, LOL at the matress protector! LOL

MrsXwithhorridILs Sun 03-Dec-06 11:46:57


HumphreyCushiONtheFirstNoel Sun 03-Dec-06 11:46:19

a spoonful of sugar.
the colours of the wind.
an aristocat.
a newspaper replica of the day they were married.
spud guns.
some soup.

taylormama Sun 03-Dec-06 11:44:26

a waterproof mattress protector

melpomene Sun 03-Dec-06 11:44:06
taylormama Sun 03-Dec-06 11:43:58

a "she wee"
a plastic rain hat

aliceband Sun 03-Dec-06 11:43:55

give her back what she gave you last year!

Some horrible Christmas china. She'll feel obligated to use it. (This could backfire she might love it)

HumphreyCushiONtheFirstNoel Sun 03-Dec-06 11:39:58

a dodgy copy of Excel software.
some buns.

MrsXwithhorridILs Sun 03-Dec-06 11:39:20

greeny you are on my christmas card list! not the opressie one though

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve Sun 03-Dec-06 11:38:19

how about a portapotty/chemical toilet, for them to take to folk festivals?

HumphreyCushiONtheFirstNoel Sun 03-Dec-06 11:36:50

lol at Kray twins!

MrsXwithhorridILs Sun 03-Dec-06 11:36:30

OMG! gonna have pelvic floor faliure in a minute!! pmsl!!!!!

Carmenere Sun 03-Dec-06 11:36:03

A pair of walkytalkies, maplins are doing a good deal, both of them sorted for £15! Bargain!

anorak Sun 03-Dec-06 11:35:59

A friend of mine cites the worst present ever as something her (then boyfriend) gave her...

An enormous, wall sized picture of the Kray twins looking up into the sky.

She protested no! not in my flat and made him take it away again. Then she married him and she got lumbered with it anyway

HumphreyCushiONtheFirstNoel Sun 03-Dec-06 11:34:54

erm..maybe not, but that holly looks like a safety issue to me!

HumphreyCushiONtheFirstNoel Sun 03-Dec-06 11:33:59

was just going to post about matching cardigans, but Greeny beat me to it.
roller skates.
duvet cover with naked bodies - or an apron in the same style?
stress balls.
juggling balls.
novelty tie.

would he like a wormery or a solar calculator? hmm? hmmmm?
would he???

aliceband Sun 03-Dec-06 11:31:47

a bucket!

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve Sun 03-Dec-06 11:30:50


pet snake

large garish painting

matching Fair Isle knit sweaters

tickets to Deal or No Deal studio audience

large gyrating musical Santa

MrsXwithhorridILs Sun 03-Dec-06 11:29:27

I may regret asking this..
whats a billy big mouth???

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve Sun 03-Dec-06 11:28:23


ant farm

full-scale plaster statue of David

Billy Big-mouth

edible knickers

MrsXwithhorridILs Sun 03-Dec-06 11:28:11

I just need to make buying their actual gift a little less painful ......

HumphreyCushiONtheFirstNoel Sun 03-Dec-06 11:26:42

solar calculators can be ever so useful though.

if you are thinking of horrid things to buy, that will annoy them then maybe you should just not buy anything.
this is hardly the spirit of christmas is it?

this is hardly the way to remember the baby jesus's birthday is it??????

[pious face]

MrsXwithhorridILs Sun 03-Dec-06 11:23:34

pmsl! any more???

HumphreyCushiONtheFirstNoel Sun 03-Dec-06 11:22:44

plenty of time to build the anticipation then!

MrsXwithhorridILs Sun 03-Dec-06 11:22:04

that would be good humphrey - her birthday is in june

HumphreyCushiONtheFirstNoel Sun 03-Dec-06 11:20:50

one knitting needle (give her the other one for her birthday!) and a solar calculator then!

MrsXwithhorridILs Sun 03-Dec-06 11:19:41

ok. without too much detail she is a sah granny and he is an accountant..

they like to think they have high morals but i KNOW BETTER! Apparently other things are more important than child or grandchild

taylormama Sun 03-Dec-06 11:19:23

anything which has on it "not for re-sale" like freebies from a hotel or free books which come with magazines ....

HumphreyCushiONtheFirstNoel Sun 03-Dec-06 11:18:29

a dice.

in a very small box, inside a bigger box, inside a bigger box etc.

MrsXwithhorridILs Sun 03-Dec-06 11:17:16

was thinking along the lines of as revolting cookie jar I saw on ebay that she can only use at xmas... but keep the ideas coming!

yULeYSEES Sun 03-Dec-06 11:17:09


leave you to your shopping MrsX, ds1 is stealing my poota!!!!

edam Sun 03-Dec-06 11:15:43

You could copy the awful MIL who gave a MNer several metres of knicker elastic.

MrsXwithhorridILs Sun 03-Dec-06 11:15:27

omg! these ideas are fab!

taylormama Sun 03-Dec-06 11:15:04

pack of broken biscuits ...

yULeYSEES Sun 03-Dec-06 11:15:00

Humphrey!1 that's genius

yULeYSEES Sun 03-Dec-06 11:14:19

I thought as much taylor

Am loving the toe thongs, how about you Mrs X? I know you're there

taylormama Sun 03-Dec-06 11:13:58

humphrey - PMSl and ROFL - they are beyond hideous!!

HumphreyCushiONtheFirstNoel Sun 03-Dec-06 11:13:51

6000 piece jigsaw, so they can't use their dining table for months until it's finished!
(And remove 3 or 4 pieces before wrapping it up!)

HumphreyCushiONtheFirstNoel Sun 03-Dec-06 11:12:40
taylormama Sun 03-Dec-06 11:12:22

i know - i have difficult ILS ... plus maybe i am a bit evil

Carmenere Sun 03-Dec-06 11:11:44

Knicker elastic obviously.........

yULeYSEES Sun 03-Dec-06 11:11:15

Taylor, you're good at this

taylormama Sun 03-Dec-06 11:11:08

or say graciously "we haven't bought pressies this year. we donated the money we would have spent on your to charity - i am sure you don't mind" - you could really do that actually - you would feel great and what could they say. Lots of charities have Xmas appeals and would appreciate the donation.

PinkTinsel Sun 03-Dec-06 11:10:34

cheap shiny tat..... vases or horrible figurines they'll have to put it up in their home and see it every day!

yULeYSEES Sun 03-Dec-06 11:10:28

haha! Are you reading this Mrs X?

SpookyMadMerryChristmasMummy Sun 03-Dec-06 11:10:12

TOE THONGS??? pmsl!!!

link purllease!

taylormama Sun 03-Dec-06 11:09:54

out of date Xmas pudding??

taylormama Sun 03-Dec-06 11:09:11

a belt a size too small for MIL, and slippers a size too small for FIL.

yULeYSEES Sun 03-Dec-06 11:08:23

good idea, keep em coming

HumphreyCushiONtheFirstNoel Sun 03-Dec-06 11:06:57

How about those toe thongs that YorkieGirl linked to yesterday?

yULeYSEES Sun 03-Dec-06 11:05:12

much appreciated

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