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Support as I'm in A&E with 11 yr old dd.

(72 Posts)
catty1234 Sun 16-Jun-13 08:33:50

She got head butted in school by a boy for not giving him an Ipad straight away. She got blown to the floor but got up, then 10 mins later in literacy she was white as a sheet and having trouble talking.
Teacher said "are you ok" and she fainted on to the floor.
Woke up about 5 mins later and saw 3 of the teacher.
I was called and DD was taken down the stairs but felt like she was falling. Friend brought down her stuff and she fainted again, this time she kept apologising when she woke up. Took her to a&e and she has been in and out of a sleep, fainting, being sick and crying since.
This happened on Friday and She is still in hospital. I am so worried as I know she thinks its her fault. In between sleep she keeps apologising and crying and being sick, she faints when she stands up.If anyone has support I would be grateful as this probable isn't the usual concussion

Moodykat Sun 16-Jun-13 08:35:46

God how awful. What a horrid thing for someone to do to her. I'm sorry I haven't got any words of wisdom but couldn't leave this unanswered. My hand is here for holding.

VivaLeBeaver Sun 16-Jun-13 08:37:46

Poor you and your poor dd.

Has she just gone to hospital today or did she go on Friday as well and was then discharged?

I don't know much about concussion.....I seem to remember my cousin had it years ago after been hit by a cricket ball and he stayed in bed for about a week as he was so sleepy and groggy.

How old is dd? She's probably partly upset now a she feels so awful. When she's feeling better she'll realise it wasn't her fault. I hope the school are dealing with the boy.

My god how awful!

Hope you get the little shit who did it prosecuted.

What have the doctors said? Have they fine a ct or MRI?

Lizzylou Sun 16-Jun-13 08:38:19

Oh catty, how worrying for you.
Thinking of you and your DD.

Pozzled Sun 16-Jun-13 08:38:46

Hand holding here as well, what a horrible experience. What are the doctors saying?

Lizzylou Sun 16-Jun-13 08:39:07

And yes, that boy had better be dealt with harshly. Headbutted? shock

LilRedWG Sun 16-Jun-13 08:40:28

You poor things! Just keep reassuring her that she's not at fault - she was headbutted. Regardless of how slowly she passed the item over she should never have been attacked!

fwiw, when I was run over as a teenager I was apparently terrified my dad was going to tell me off! He did no such thing of course, even though it wasy fault. She is in shock, keep reassuring her.

Have a hug! (((((())))))

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Sun 16-Jun-13 08:41:13

Poor girl, has she had tests run? What an awful thing for you to have to go through.

PoppyWearer Sun 16-Jun-13 08:42:13

How awful. You poor things!

FancyPuffin Sun 16-Jun-13 08:43:58

That's horrendous! Your poor dd sad

WynkenBlynkenandNod Sun 16-Jun-13 08:44:39

You poor things. If she won't listen to you about it absolutely not being her fault, would she listen to one of the medical staff if they tell her ?

catty1234 Sun 16-Jun-13 08:49:06

Thank you
We went to A&e on Friday she got taken straight for a scan and then put into a bed. We have not been discharged.
I am sorry I was vague about the Ipad, they have a special system where they log in and out so everyone has equal time on them, eg; You have 2 hours every week. You can spend those 2 hours whenever you like, but the ipad case lock will not let you take one when your 2 hours are up.
Thanks for the messages you guys are so supportive!

CalmingLava Sun 16-Jun-13 08:51:26

Oh gosh how awful for you all sad

I have no experience with concussion, just wanted to say I'm thinking of you, I hope she recovers quickly x

Themobstersknife Sun 16-Jun-13 09:03:02

Gosh how awful. Hope she starts to improve soon. How are you doing? Have you got rl support?

Sending hugs xxxxx

VixZenFenchell Sun 16-Jun-13 09:11:25

How awful for you both. Did they tell you what the scan result showed? Are they going to rescan her if she doesn't improve? I can see why they wouldn't want her to go home with such bad symptoms but hopefully nothing serious showed up on scan (as in requiring surgery).

Also hope the boy who assaulted her is made to understand the seriousness of what he has done.

Bearandcub Sun 16-Jun-13 09:15:17

Wishing her a speedy recovery and some karma payback for the boy who did it. What have the scans showed.

Bearandcub Sun 16-Jun-13 09:16:01

*shown?

MNEdBlackpoolWiganandSalford Sun 16-Jun-13 09:21:07

Thats awful Catty, hope things are dealt with properly at school and your dd gets better.

Hope you are ok, do you need any practical help? Not sure where you are but if you need anything yell, I am sure one of us would be nearby.

catty1234 Sun 16-Jun-13 09:28:05

Thanks guys.
Nothing serious on scan thank god.
Got a call of the boy who did its dad and he is so very sorry, brought down chocolates flowers and a card when he knew which ward I was on. She is improving and stayed concious for a full hour while the boys dad was there. Thank you and I will give a shout if I need anything and if any of you need anything you know I would come to you as you have been a great help.
I will keep you informed

Sorry but flowers and chocolates would not stop me having him seriously dealt with.

knittedslippersx3 Sun 16-Jun-13 12:00:57

Sending hugs and good wishes. That's a bloody awful thing to have happened, I hope the school take appropriate action on Monday when they realize the seriousness of it.

RandomMess Sun 16-Jun-13 12:03:55

I hope she continues to improve and quickly, it's horrible being stuck at hospital but I guess she needs to stay in for now.

bigTillyMint Sun 16-Jun-13 12:05:39

Oh God, what a terrible story. You poor thing. How worrying it must be. Have you got family/friends to support you?

Very serious issue for the school to deal with too.

girliefriend Sun 16-Jun-13 12:08:18

Have the police been involved? I would be pressing charges for assault.

Horrendous thing for your dd to have to go through sad

Hope she starts to pick up soon.

kelda Sun 16-Jun-13 12:11:03

I'm not sure if 'sorry' covers headbutting and putting your daughter in hospital for the weekend.

I would contact the police.

Your poor dd.

mikkii Sun 16-Jun-13 12:23:00

At least it sounds like the boys dad is taking it seriously. He made an effort to apologise and bring her a gift. Hopefully it is followed up with punishment of his child and possibly a referral for anger issues.

Hope DD is starting to feel a little better.

cocolepew Sun 16-Jun-13 12:29:46

How awful!
Wishing your DD a speedy recovery x

Have the police been informed?

BoffinMum Sun 16-Jun-13 12:32:59

This was a bad assault and the police need to be involved, sorry. What has the head teacher done?

PatPig Sun 16-Jun-13 12:37:15

Report to the police, you will be doing the little shit a favour.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Sun 16-Jun-13 12:39:26

Poor DD. That is shocking.

You are doing the right thing to focus on her 100% right now, you can deal with the school & the boy later.

Floggingmolly Sun 16-Jun-13 12:40:57

I'd have involved the police before now too. It's good that the boy's dad is apologetic on behalf of his son; but don't let the flowers deflect your attention from what was a very serious assault.

Floggingmolly Sun 16-Jun-13 12:41:16

Hope she's ok, btw.

Trazzletoes Sun 16-Jun-13 12:44:51

Blimey! I hope she feels better soon!

Good that the boy's dad has been nice but was his DS involved in any of the apologising?! I'd be contacting the police too, I think.

JuliaScurr Sun 16-Jun-13 12:46:54

yy, go ahead with demand for action. possibly consider explaining to the Dad that you appreciate the gesture but still feel it's necessary to report

ShipwreckedAndComatose Sun 16-Jun-13 12:50:49

In think all that can wait until Next week.

Concentrate on dd for now, hope she is getting better xx

StripeyYogurt Sun 16-Jun-13 12:51:47

report x

Have the Doctors said what they think is using it?

I think this is a matter for the police too. Very violent behaviour from a school boy over something trivial aswell, this needs to be nipped in the bud now, there needs to be action to make sure he doesn't carry on with these behaviours in the future.
I would also be expecting the school to punish him heavily aswell.

KaFayOLay Sun 16-Jun-13 14:17:56

I hope your daughter recovers soon and she gets back to her own bed, and you yours. There's nothing like your own bed!

We have a boy at our school who was expelled from his previous school for head butting a girl (he is 14) - he has to travel from the next county!! I would expect nothing less for the boy who has done this to your daughter.

PicardyThird Sun 16-Jun-13 14:27:21

I'm so sorry, how frightening. Hope your dd recovers soon.

Obviously headbutting is far from OK, and I too would expect the boy to be punished (and to make a personal apology or at least write a letter, not just hide behind his dad), but I am a little hmm at all the baying for police involvement for an 11yo boy. I think it's vicious and inappropriate. A child who headbutts at that age needs help and guidance, not terrifying out of his wits. Of course what OP is going through is horrendous, but pursuing vengeance will not make her dd well.

PicardyThird Sun 16-Jun-13 14:28:18

And whoever referred to an 11yo child as a 'little shit' should be ashamed of herself.

I am so sorry to hear what happened.

Do they know why she keeps going in and out of consciousness? Have they done repeated CT and MRI scans and the such?

I would still make a formal complaint about the boy as it could've been a lot more serious and he needs to learn you can't do that to someone. If he is 11 too he should know a lot better about headbutting people.

I am here for hand holding and I don't know where you are but if you need anything just PM me and I will see what I can do.

x

TheRealFellatio Sun 16-Jun-13 14:35:01

I'm not surprised the boy's dad has been bringing her presents - he must be shitting himself that you will press charges. What action is the school taking against the boy?

After being knocked over by the force of a headbutt I am quite surprised your DD was sent back to her lessons to be honest.

hifi Sun 16-Jun-13 15:19:06

why should calling a thug who headbutted someone a little shit be shameful? I think its well deserved.

Lovingmybabiesbottom Sun 16-Jun-13 15:23:29

Perhaps I am being a tad sceptical, but could the father be responding so nicely and so swiftly, because he is trying to dissuade you from going to the police?

Whatever, you really should involve the police. Your poor girl

frutilla Sun 16-Jun-13 15:33:40

Agree about involving the police. This is truly shocking and needs to be dealt with formally and not brushed under the carpet with apologies and flowers. Wishing your poor DD a speedy recovery. x

3littlefrogs Sun 16-Jun-13 15:35:32

She has had a significant head injury.
She should have a MRI scan and you must make sure the doctors know exactly what happened.
Please document everything and inform the police.
Log everything with the school.
It may be months before she recovers.

My dd had a head injury at school. the school didn't take it seriously at all. It was 5 months before she was able to go back to school. She was very poorly indeed.

I hope your dd feels better soon.

BoffinMum Sun 16-Jun-13 17:13:39

Picardy, he's above the age of criminal responsibility and has broken the law, committing grievous bodily harm in the process and hospitalising someone. How bad do you think it has to be before a line is drawn in the sand? Nobody is suggesting he is beyond redemption but what he did was unspeakably wrong and needs to be taken very seriously.

PatPig Sun 16-Jun-13 17:19:53

It is important to contact the police so it is impressed upon the little shit that such behaviour is an extremely serious matter and should not be repeated in the future. It is for his benefit.

catty1234 Sun 16-Jun-13 18:34:52

Been discharged and She is under monitor by me for 5 days.
Had a phone call from head teacher saying boy is expelled and the secondary school he is going to in September has been notified. Will contact the police one Monday as her dad is coming home then so he can look after her and the LO while I go to the police. She has been concious since 1 so she is doing well. She has not been sick or fainted and now understands it was not her fault at all, she was just going through process and she did the right thing. Thank you for your lovely messages. I will keep you informed.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Sun 16-Jun-13 18:41:37

Fantastic news about being home, hope she makes a speedy recovery.

Also good news to hear from the school too and that they are being so supportive

PicardyThird Sun 16-Jun-13 18:57:20

Glad she's home and hope she continues to recover.

Of course what he did was serious. I would certainly want him dealt with if he'd done it to one of mine. And yes, he is above the age of criminal responsibility - although I think setting that age as low as 10 is bonkers tbh. But honestly, he's a primary-age child and that sort of violence indicates he needs help rather than anything else, for his own sake as well as to prevent him doing it to someone else. I hope the police handle it sensitively.

PatPig, again, whatever this child has done, calling him a 'little shit' is revolting.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Sun 16-Jun-13 19:03:04

I agree with your post Picardy, punishment is needed but also looking into why he did it and intervening before it gets worse as he gets older.

Calling a ten year old a little shit is, at best, unhelpful.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Sun 16-Jun-13 19:03:47

And at worst, revolting

Smudging Sun 16-Jun-13 19:08:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

3littlefrogs Sun 16-Jun-13 19:24:57

Early intervention is very important. Two of the boys who bullied ds at primary school have served prison terms for GBH. Somebody should have intervened long before it got that far, it was entirely predictable IMO.

girliefriend Sun 16-Jun-13 19:37:46

Are these children at primary school shock ??

I was assuming secondary...

Would still go to the police and am also surprised that she was sent back to class after being head butted and would want an explanation for that from the head teacher.

Your poor poor dd, it makes me feel sick thinking about it. Really hope she is o.kay smile

You are right to go to re police. If he has anger issues and needs CAMHS involvement then having things like this logged is invaluable.

And as for not calling him a little shit. He shouldn't behave like one.

My 8 year old wouldn't dream of being violent to anyone, hitting, kicking, punching, he knows it is all wrong, but head butting is a different level of violence IMO and coming from such a you g child makes it all the more horrifying.

Above all, I am glad your dd has been discharged from hospital and hopefully makes a full and speedy recovery.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Sun 16-Jun-13 20:16:48

There is a difference between saying someone behaved like a little shit verses someone is a little shit. That is all.

Hulababy Sun 16-Jun-13 20:17:53

Your poor girl sad I hope she continues to make good progress.

I think you are right to take matters further. This is a very serious offence. And yes, the boy may have significant issues which has caused him to react like this. However, even if police involvement seems too harsh for some, this is actually probably the best thing in term of getting that boy the help he might need. A referral via the police will probably lead to much quicker help coming forward.

The school will not be able to just sit on this either. They will need to have reported this as it is a big issue. They can;t just expel and keep stum.

Timeforabiscuit Sun 16-Jun-13 20:35:35

Please make sure charges are pressed, this means the boy concerned may actually get some support from a youth offending team and anger management - these things do help from an early age, from the way you describe it the boy may have had similar incidents before.

I hope your dd has a good recovery, and you're able to take a breath for yourself soon.

LoveSewingBee Sun 16-Jun-13 21:11:28

Has the hospital explained why she drifts in and out of consciousness?

I had serious concussion after a fall from a horse during cross country. I was briefly unconscious and had to rest for six weeks suffering from awful headaches, but not the drifting in and out of consciousess. Just wonder what is causing this and whether she is getting the treatment she needs???

I wish your dd a speedy recovery and wish you lots of strength. I agree with others to get the police involved so this boy can also get the help he clearly needs and to prevent him doing such a thing again or worse.

lougle Sun 16-Jun-13 21:17:47

My goodness, you must be so concerned. I hope she makes a speedy recovery.

catty1234 Sun 16-Jun-13 21:28:27

Thank you!!

LilRedWG Mon 17-Jun-13 17:43:02

Glad to hear that DD is home and on the mend.

CrystalTits Mon 17-Jun-13 19:53:09

Been lurking and so glad to hear of your DD's progress. Hope you got on ok today when reporting the incident to the police - I have to mention though that it's been worrying me a lot that she was sent back to class after such a significant blow to the head & neck. If I were in your position I'd want to know why an ambulance wasn't called - you shouldn't have had to mobilise her, get her down the stairs and to A&E yourself. Hope the school takes this opportunity to conduct a full review of what happened.

Best wishes for her continued improvement flowers

BoffinMum Thu 20-Jun-13 11:37:16

The school will have been in total shock about what happened and in denial about the seriousness, I imagine. Unless you know about head injuries in children it might be difficult to make the best call in the circumstances. That having been said, if I were HT I would be rollocking people about not calling an ambulance.

Moodykat Fri 21-Jun-13 03:20:09

How is DD Catty?

Terrible experience for you all - is there any update you can give us?

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