Mumsnet Talk

Following my rant in AIBU the other day, I've been discussing DS's weight with a couple of friends. Their opinion surprised me.

Pic on profile, what do you think?

Healthy and normal.

Looks perfect to me

So I suspect he registers as overweight on the NHS guidelines.

I can see his ribs fairly well in that shot. No double chin. He's obviously not undernourished otherwise. So in the healthy range.

looks normal to me too.

Looks fine to me.

There's a little bit of padding, but they use that up when they have a growth spurt. I wouldn't say he looks overweight or anything.

My eldest porked right up and then shot up and now he's a long thin streak

He has way more fat on him than my DC, so maybe that's influencing my opinion, but he does look, to me, like he has more fat on him than he needs. Not enough to be concerning, though.

Sorry, I didn't really explain my thinking. I think your DS looks perfect, but apparently we have all become used to children looking good/normal when they are in fact overweight and children should look pretty much skin and bone if they are a healthy weight. Apparently.

That's true, chipping.

apparently if we can't play their ribs like a xylophone, they're overweight.

honestly? On the chubby side of normal,

Well I reckon he's definitely on the chubby side. That pic is as honest a representation as I could get without him realising what I was doing.

The school measuring has him in the obese category.

My friends think he's fine, not even chubby

I would say he is chubby side of normal as you say, not obese tho. He will prob have a griwth spurt soon. As long as he eats healthily and gets plenty of exercise i wouldnt worry but i would keep an eye out iykwim.

He does look slightly chubby - you can see the excess under his arms. Having said that, I have one DD who is so skinny it's alarming, one DD who is probably just right, and another who has rolls!

What lynette said and the othets ate right we see that size as normal but actually yoi should be able to see ribs etc, kids are meant to be skinny/scrawny.

Compared to mine I'd say he's well padded but certainly not overweight.

But then mine tend towards xylophone ribs so my perceptions might be skewed!

No where near obese, just a wee bit chunky.

By comparison to my ds (who is skin and bones) he does look a bit chubby. But I always think that ds is a big skinny - you can see the nobbly bits on his back and easily count his ribs

I guess they are all different. When Reception DS was weighed they came up as 85th percentile which they called healthy. But it was obvious to me that he was pudgy, you could not see his ribs easily. I still see him as the child (of my lot) most likely to put on excess weight.

I think we have forgotten what is "normal".

can he run a good distance before becoming out of puff and that kind of thing? I thinklthats a better marker for health rather than weight alone

Glad I'm not going mad. They were insistent that he's a perfect weight. I've been concerned for a while that the cycling, swimming and constant bloody fidgeting don't quite negate his preferred habit of staring at a screen. We're getting quite tough about it but it's harder in winter (he's permanently in the garden during summer), and obviously the news that he's actually significantly more overweight than we'd expected is worrying.

I initially thought he was toddler age and was going to say perfectly normal. However, for a school age I would say he's a bit chunky- as others have said, you should be able to see ribs etc. we have forgotten what 'normal' looks like.

Certainly not 'obese', and I would guess he will stretch out with the next growth spurt if he's anything like my 5 yr old.

rotavirus (great name!) he cycles daily to and from school, just over half a mile up and down hill with no gears, and manages no bother. I think his fitness is ok but he's too heavy iyswim.

Honestly, he looks a bit like my DS, who I would describe as 'could do with being a bit thinner'. DH and I agree on this, but most other people say he looks fine/skinny/normal.

I would say on the chubby side. My ds measured on the slightly heavier side for his height and never had any fat in his chest shoulders or arms.

Lljkk he is 94th centile so pretty concerning.

He looks just like my ds at times. He goes like this then spurts up in height then a bit over padded then shoots up again.
I do think we are very used to larger children whereas children used to be normally beanpolesqe so we see chubby as normal.
My sons weight is a worry but I try an curb his intake now and again accordingly.
It is a concern, your ds is lovely an will be fine, you are conscious of it and aware, that's half way there.

Hmm. I would say that he has a little too much padding. Kids should be lean. He could be heading for a growth spurt soon, and will stretch upwards?

I wouldn't worry too much. But obv you have concerns, so just keep an eye on him.

It just shows how perceptions vary. I was really surprised how overweight he is, even though we expected him to be too heavy. But the friends I spoke to were shocked that I even thought he was chubby.

Work to be done but I'm sure we can sort it subtly with a few tweaks. He's also doing fewer activities since starting school in August because he's been tired, but he's better now so after Christmas we'll hopefully have it sorted out.

Exactly. They are so easy up and down. Doesn't take much to make a subtle change. Honestly, don't worry. Just watch and make those little changes on the quiet.
There are a few of us in the same boat.
HTH

Certainly looks well covered to me. None of my boys had little man boobs like your son has.

how old is he op?

my dd is stick thin, she is 15, but at 10 she really filled out, i think its fairly normal for kids to put a bit of meat on their bones before they shoot up....she is horrified now by pics of her at 10 but she really wasnt chubby, she just clearly had a bit of puppy fat, she is now 5ft 7 and 8st 5, i would never ever mention a childs weight for fear of making them conscious of it. he will shoot up and he will lose the puppy fat. im pretty sure thats normal.

I'd say he was a little on the chubby side, but mot horrendously so.

My DC are probably under weight though.

What Rotavirus said, because there are so many obese children, we have forgotten what normal looks like.

Sounds like you are on top of things though.

Dd1 was on 95th centile at 4.5yrs we were told ahe was obese by school! She totally was not it was just chubbiness! She's now 8.5 skinny as rake and bordering on slightly underweight due to all activities she does!,
He looks normal to me tbh especially for his young age

My ds was at the top end of normal weight and he is not as chunky as your little fellow.

The photo looks like a normal healthy child to me. I can't see any hint of chubbiness.

how old is he?

He's 5.

He is overweight but not in any way you'd notice if he was dressed I think. He doesn't have the sharp contours you'd expect of a child his age, more softness round the edges. He just has an extra bit of covering right now. You are right.

Are you happy with his diet/portion sizes? Do you do sport/exercise as a family?

I think for 5 he is def overweight - on my ds you can clearly see his ribs and collar bones, and no sign of (sorry, can't think of nicer term) moobs.

How is his portion sizes ? Its hard to hold their weight on activity alone

His diet is ok but he has a limitless appetite and I have to watch him for overdoing the carbs. He would live on bread happily. He has porridge with fruit for breakfast, fruit snack, packed lunch inc sandwich, natural yogurt, carrot or tomatoes, after school an oatcake and peanut butter then whatever for dinner. It's all good but he is never full.

He is fairly active, cycling or walking daily, plus swimming once or twice a week. He could certainly do more though.

DH and I are both overweight but we both run and cycle regularly. We usually walk or cycle together as a family a the weekend, plus swimming.

I think we're probably not far off doing things right but need to watch portions and maintain activity levels.

I think if you're overweight as a family but doing lots of activity then perhaps portion sizes are your problem. And it's something you can all do together.

Does he drink enough? While eating and inbetween times? DD is also 5 and on days when she's hungry constantly, we insist she has a good drink and wait a while before eating. Hunger and thirst feel exactly the same. Fewer carbs perhaps, more protein. Maybe a bit of a family overhaul of diet.

What percentile is he on for height?

I think he looks chubby, but not drastically so.

Btw I think often friends want to be kind or say what you want to here so I wouldn't pay too much attention to that.

I think portions is probably the issue. We have a very good diet on the whole, carbs are brown rather than white usually, lots of veg, minimal fried food, sweets and cakes etc are occasional and not available whenever. I'm pretty conscious of nutrition but the portions possibly less so. And DS does need to be told when to stop (hence me not allowing school lunches except for occasional days).

He looks a bit chubby, cant see his "legs bums and tums", but can see he has puppy fat on his "breasts".

My son looks pretty much the same, apart from his chest which is totally flat in comparison. My son swims twice a week though, in addition to basket ball and other after school sports and PE. Swimming does wonders for the chest, shoulders and arms.

Cant believe he is down as "obese" though!
That is almost a mockery!

Blimey, if that is classed as obese then god knows what they'd have my son down as. He is overweight (due to medication), but i bet they'd put him at moribidly obese or something.

I think your son looks just fine.

He's 75th for height iI think. Let me check.

I would say he is overweight. My ds and dd had no folds under arms and can see ribs and collarbone.

He looks muscly rather than fat to me. Muscle is heavier than fat.

Was that 94th centile for weight or BMI

Seems fine-my DS2 was on the chubby side, but then he had a growth spurt at 13yrs and it went.

Between 50 and 75.

He looks as though he's carrying excess fat under his arms and on his chest. We have loads of obese kids in the UK that it's skewed our perceptions of normal weight, so many parents react with disbelief when informed their child is outside normal range. Good for OP, though, doing something about it

Bmi, bruff.

You should see my nephew, who is 3. Built like a tank, & really strong with it. Pick him up and he's so heavy, & just feels totally different to DD2 who is 6 months older.

So his weight must be on a higher centile. Only 6% will have a weight to height ratio higher than him.

I'd agree with you - he looks a bit chubby but not huge. Either about to have a growth spurt or in need of a few minor tweaks to his diet.
You're aware of it and seem to be clued up as to what you need to do, so good for you.
My DD got a letter home at the end of term saying her percentile was on the brink of overweight too - but with a few weeks of being a bit more thoughtful about snacks and being more active she was slimmer - but she was on the brink of a growth spurt too and has shot up and slimmed down again recently.

Less carbs, more protein I'd say, even too many brown carbs will put the weight on.

Try giving chopped ham, boiled egg, cold chicken pieces, cubes of cheese - these are just as enjoyable as the carb based snacks and will probably fill him up for longer.

And if he still complains he's hungry after having a snack, dinner etc. just direct him to the fruit bowl, if he refuses then he's not really hungry.

He doesn't look 'obese' but I guess that's the clinical term. I was always on the stocky side at primary but beyond that I was a tall and lanky teen and always been a slim adult.

Overweight. He clearly has a covering of fat and little moobs bless him.

My eldest is skinny like me (except she's still v v slim)
The middle seems chubby to me but everyone says it's still baby fat (she's 4) she's 80th for height and weight. I don't know how long I keep putting her round little face and double chin down to babyish chub? She has some belly fat too....

butter his appetite for fruit knows no bounds, it's amazing. Costs me a bloody fortune as well.

I don't feel like we can't address it though. It shouldn't be hard to sort out. Batteries are back in the WiiFit now, he 'went for a run' this morning!

I've checked online and she's 68% 64% so I'm not worried again
I think...she does look a chubster though

Irish dancing. DD1 started a few weeks ago, loves it so much and never stops! (Though it does get annoying). She has always been active and I wasn't worried about her weight, BMI bang in the middle of the healthy range, but she looks so very lean & fit now. Think I'm going to try it myself...What I mean though is if they find something really active they love doing it helps. Obviously food plays a part also.