Mumsnetters aren't necessarily qualified to help if your child is unwell. If you have any serious medical concerns, we would urge you to consult your GP.
Baby Penis Size(29 Posts)
I know this sounds mad but I am worried the size of my son's penis. He is 3 it is much smaller than other boys his age.
He has no medical conditions - I have been to the GP about it. He agrees it is smaller than average but that it is just one of those things.
I am really worried that it might affect him when he is older. I feel if anything can be done it should be done b4 he is old enough to understand as definately dont want any issues when a teenager.
Anyway a search of the web reveals that testostone treatment if given b4 puberty can help. I mentioned this to my GP who said it is not something that the NHS would do. He implied that it was an American view point (to earn money) - giving children hormones - but the main studies I looked at were scandinvian and indian.
Anyway my GP has said he will refer me privately if I want a second opinion. I am going to do this even though the £150 is more than we can afford.
What do u think?
I think you are bonkers (although I do have a girl so no idea about penis')
nuts!! pardon the pun. any treatment for non medical resons imo is crazy and should be avoided.....
Don't be ridiculous! How do you know that his penis is MUCH smaller than all other boys'? I presume you don't go round your friends' houses asking to see their little boys penises??
he is 3 years old - still a baby really...
If you are worried and the £150 you are going to spend isn't going to impact on essentials then I don't think getting a second opinion on whether there might be an issue, and if so if there is something that can be done is necessarily a bad idea.
However I would be very careful about your web research - my immediate concerns would be about the quality of the work and how legitimate the sources are (for example are these published reports, in which case where were they published, was there peer review etc), as there is some really very poor quality stuff out there, and some very unscrupulous practice. Finally when you say smaller than average, what sort of degree are we talking - 50% smaller, or just a little bit. If the former then I think your concerns are reasonable, if the latter then you probably should worry less.
Leave him alone
Poor little mite. He'll have issues whenever you do it and getting a 3yo to take some synthetic hormone to give him a bigger willy is just so unfair.
Loads of men have smaller willies and it is fine - the only time it troubles them much is when they are getting changed at school when they're about 14, which is hardly life or death.
What he needs is confidence in himself no matter what size or shape he is.
And most men are definitely big enough for successful sex, when they are actually doing it, no matter how small they look when they're not.
Please, please stop focusing on this one thing, your GP has no concerns, which means it's pretty much within average range and there's nothing wrong with him.
Forget it and concentrate on your son, I mean who he is, not the size of his willy.
I'm sorry. I have given you an earful when possibly this is something that can be managed with hormone treatment, IF the penis is actually below standard size - I have found you a link:
Also see the page before which describes the other things that could be going on.
However if your son's willy is within normal range (I just mjeasured ds1 - he is just under the 'average'!) then it's really no reason to worry.
Hope this helps more than my first post.
The size of the penis pre-puberty does not have a direct correlation with the adult size. One of my boys has a penis literLly 1/3 the size of his brother's. When I see them in changing rooms etc with friends, neither looks anyhthying like the 'average'. But that's no indication what they're going to be like post-puberty, so it has never occured to me to worry. They both have functioning penises (they wee, they play with themselves, and they get stiffies). The rest will sort itself out.
I wrote in here before expressing my concern about my DS's willy size too. I don't have to look at the locker room, just a general observation when other friends change their DS nappies, help them to wee ... and I too know for sure that my DS has a smaller sized penis.
I too worry about what that will do to his confidence. It's a universal fear for every male, like it or not. And I don't see why a mother shouldn't be worried about it, if its going to cause her beloved son embarrassment, loss of confidence, etc in the future. It's a very legitimate concern.
I too would want to be able to help my DS if I can. Of course I will do my utmost to instill inner confidence in himself with the usual 'looks / size are not the most important .. what matters is kindness, goodness, blah blah'.
When I was young, I had fairly big and noticeable mole on my chin. It didn't bother me of course as I was too young to know. My mum took me to the doctors to have it surgically removed when I was 10 years old. And now, as an adult, I am grateful I didn't have to deal with it.
Whether or not I have the guts to go ahead with treatment is another story. OP, I would be interested to know more about the treatment. Could you please direct me to the right path, thanks.
I have 3 boys and they all had different sized ones at 3 yrs-I really wouldn't worry.
I agree at 3 is there really anything to worry about? How do you know his willy is going to be small as an adult? By the time he's a teenager it could be normal size. Hormone treatment for a 3 year old with a small willy, im sorry but the world gets crazier!!
Thanks for the Dr Greene link. Yes I have seen that and my son's is below the average and the standard deviation of average. He is also unable to wee standing as it is too small too hold. BTW it was the GP that measured it not me - thats how I know it is below the standard deviation.
I actually took the Dr Greene stuff into the GP but he dismissed it as American!
I am not sure PrettyCandle in your comment that the size of the penis prepuberty is no corolation to in adulthood. My research states otherwise.
Thanks Greenday for your reply - good to see it is not just me that has concerns.
The research I have looked is 'proper' medical stuff that has been published in medical jounrnals:
This study states the following:
'The testosterone therapy of micropenis in infancy or early childhood has been found to increase penile length up to the normal range for age '
Whilst I am dont think his penis is small enough to be considered a micropenis it is below the standard deviations of this study.
I should point out that my son is also extremely tall for his age - above the 100 percentile and large statue and small penis size can be indicitive of a few 'syndromes'. My GP has assured me that my son has no of the other factors that would lead him to test further for syndromes.
Not sure if this research and 'defense' of my worries will make me look more mad or less!!!!
Actaully CharlieBoo I probably would have agreed with before realising my son was small. The last thing I would want is this to be addressed at puberty as that will give him issues. So if it needs sorting it needs doing now.
And I would say it will cause problems for my son if he cant wee standing.
Yes I can see how seriously you have looked into this now, initially I took it as 'parent being too worired' but now I can see why you are concerned.
I would try a different GP first, armed with your research, (I thought Greene was English! not the same chap who wrote 'toddler taming?)
and then look into further avenues such as private.
Fwiw are you thinking of syndromes such as Klinefelter?
I always have found GPs are really unwilling to test for syndromes unless the child has marked difficulties socially or developmentally. You might really need to push for a referral. But you should be able to access that on the NHS.
Hi - my son too is has a smaller willy than his peers (that I have seen!). I have 2 other sons and theirs are definitely bigger than his was at that age. But in my boy's case, it seems to be a problem with his foreskin - it doesn't retract all the way, although he can pee no problem and it doesn't hurt. The GP said that it should sort itself out, but that circumcision may be on the cards if it's not going back by the time he's 8 as it can lead to infections etc.
We had to work out a way for ds to pee standing, as he, too, could not hold on to his penis to direct it. If I'm guiding him I press a finger gently into the pad of flesh on either side of his penis, which gives enough control to direct it. If he's doing it on his own he seems to get hold of a bit of scrotum as well. You work out a way! His technique is completely different to his brother's.
I think, in your position, I'd be inclined to look for a second opinion - for reassurance as much as for therapy. But personally I'd be reluctant to go for hormone treatment unless it was clearly medically necessary rather than for cosmetic reasons.
My DS2 has a very small penis, I noticed as soon as he was born that it was considerably smaller than his older brothers at birth. Eventually we got a referral to an endocrine specialist who examined him & measured it. Turns out the penis is there, it is just buried under the fat and the specialist was able to feel it and assure us it was normal length despite the fact it appears practically non existent. The specialist said it would just emerge on its own when he reached puberty. It is still a worry but we have been reassured by this so it is worth pushing for a specialist referral from your GP to put your mind at rest
I'm fairly sure that chubb plays a part in the discrepancy between my ds's sizes: the 'large' one is incredibly slender and at first the 'small' one was fairly chunky, which was when his penis looked smallest. As he's grown and got less chubby, more penis has appeared.
BTW I forgot to say that he often doesn't bother to hold on to himself to aim when weeing: he just swivels his hips!
Thanks for the replies. I realise there can be an issue with the fat pad covering the penis - this is not the case with my son - he is not chubby.
Please take no offence Prettycandles but your comment about not having hormones for cosmetic reasons made me giggle. Of course the whole thing is cosmetic - but as a teacher at a boys school I think being 'normal' is v important to a boys mental health!
Performancegirl - thanks for your reply - I am reassured to see that others worry. The GP wont refer me on the NHS. But I can get a private referal with a children's endoctrine specialist.
I have made the appointment but really feel they will just fobe me off.
I don't think people should dismiss other peoples concerns. I could have written this post myself, my three and a half year old's penis is almost non existent. You do notice other sizes without wanting to at swimming etc (I'd rather not because it just makes me more concerned).
The fat pad may be a factor for mine and his foreskin does seem tight, but no problems with infections. I was fobbed off at the doctors when he was about 2 but feel I should take him back again. He cannot wee standing up and I'm worried that this will affect him as soon as he starts school and the others boys wee standing.
Every parent just wants their child to be 'normal' and this is something that will have an affect on him at some point even if he is the most confident child in the world, reason enough for me to be concerned anyway.
When my ds was born, we had to wait an extra 7 hours for a pead to come round and look at him, purely down to the midwife saying he had a small penis! Well, she actually told me it was too attached underneath..like extra skin, but she actually wrote in the bedside notes "small penis" I peeked!
Pead looked at him, said nothing wrong, they are all different sizes, off we went home! Although i did worry about it!
He had a UTI when he was 7 months old, and on his referral letter said all normal other than smaller than average penis size!
So now I do really worry about it!! I keep wanting to take him to the gp and ask her what she thinks, but worried she will think i am daft!
I have read threads where women take the mick out of ex partners with a small penis, and it breaks my heart to think someone could be doing that about my son years down the line!
Know where ur coming from FacePalm - that is the type of thought that does through my mind.
None taken, lisaleelu. I just couldn't think of any other way of putting it.
As a child who was bullied about many things - tho strangely not about my facial birthmark or glasses - I completely understand your need to protect your child from becoming a target for bullying or nasty gossip. It's just that some things are safer to change than others. Speech training for a lisp, or braces for poor teeth, are not like hormone treatment which could have more wide ranging effects. But of course having read the link I see that there there can be more to it than pure 'cosmetics'.
I'm not trying to discount your concerns at all.
Yes agree, it breaks my heart too that one day, some girl may reject my DS because he has a small willy. I have been guilty of such shallow thoughts myself, in my younger days. And if karma is as karma goes ...
OP, thanks for the links. I scanned them through and picked up on them saying that a penis less than 1.9cm should be examined. I am going to measure my DS soon as he gets into the bath.
Also, as I only had time to scan, I was wondering what the treatment entails. If it isn't too invasive, and painless .. and won't traumatise your DS in any way, I would say that it is worth doing it (in response to your OP). It will give you peace of mind and subsequently, your DS.
Hi, I see this thread is a bit old but I found it by doing a search as I am worried about the exact same issue. For those who posted here with similar concerns.......did you get any helpful information from medical professionals? Are you still worried? I have become terribly concerned about my DS because his penis is much smaller than other boys his age. I am now going to spew out the whole sorry affair as I just need to get this out.
My DS is 15 months old. As soon as I saw him naked after his birth, I knew his penis did not look normal. You couldn't see much except for the foreskin. The consultant said he had a normal penis but it was "engulfed" by the tissues around it and would emerge "in time" as the natural swelling in the area went down. No such thing happened and I took DS to the GP who terrified me by saying "Hmm, there doesn't seem to be much there" and referred me to a paediatric urologist. By this point, I had convinced myself that DS had micropenis. The urologist immediately ruled that out (said that micropenises have the circumference of a matchstick on a newborn) and declared DS to be average to above in size. She said that his penis was hidden because the scrotum was webbed to the shaft skin. It might resolve itself or it might need a minor op. I was told to make another appointment when DS turns 2.I went away very happy and got on with being a new mum.
That was until I saw other baby boys being changed. I was shocked at how much bigger they all looked to my DS. Even though his penis is buried, you can push back the skin and see that he only has about 3 cm in length. When erect, it only seems to grow another cm or so, although maybe his condition holds him back, so to speak. I decided to get a second opinion from another urologist. He also ruled out micropenis but said that DS is below average. I expressed concern over this and he came out with phrases like "Well, his penis won't be his life". He then terrified me by saying that I could see an endocrinologist "because they can do things with testosterone but I'm not sure how long the effects last". I know that testosterone treatment is only recommended in really extreme cases, like micropenis, so I asked if he was really recommending that because he thought DS was so small. He said no and then pretty much tried to bring the consultation to an end. I asked if this meant DS would be much below average and he said "oh no, just a shade". It felt like he was trying to get rid of me so I pushed him and said "Are we talking inches?" and he said "No, a cm or 2". He said, on a scale of 0-10, with 10 being the hugest penis ever and 0 being nothing and 5 being average, DS is a 4. He refused to measure DS as he said it was not standard practice and that he was experienced enough to know that DS is below average.
I left the appointment quite shell-shocked due to the mention of testosterone treatment. I then requested to see the first urologist earlier than planned. She also said that measuring is not standard practice but whipped out her tape measure anyway. She said that DS has a stretched length of 3.5cm and that average is 4cm (this is a much lower average than on the studies mentioned on here e.g Dr Greene). She said this puts him at the lower limit of the normal range. I think my response was "So 1mm less and he would be abnormal?" and she was clearly annoyed with me and declared "But he is normal!". I asked if that meant he was only a bit above micropenis and she explained that micropenis is a specific condition in which the penis will always be minute and that DS is nowhere near that.
This, I think, is where all the confusion is coming from. It seems to me that there are two definitions of micropenis. Any online information seems to say that it micropenis is defined as a stretched length 2.5 standard deviations or more below average. The urologist seems to be describing a more extreme condition whereby the penis will be just a few cm long and very thin. I wanted to ask for clarification but she was so clearly annoyed with me that I just clammed up. She said "I saw a mother of a child with micropenis last week and we will be arranging counselling for the family. That is not something we would consider for your DS BECAUSE HE IS NORMAL". I tried again to say that I needed more clarification of what the lower limit of normal meant for an adult and she replied "I don't know what it is for an adult because I only looked it up for a 1 year old BECAUSE HE IS 1". I showed her the Dr.Greene chart and she said that, by lower limit of normal, she meant 1 standard deviation below average. But she didn't really seem sure. I asked if he might catch up and achieve average by adulthood and she said no. She said that she would not recommend testosterone treatment and that all it does is hasten growth but does not alter eventual size.
So, that's where we are now. Three consultations later and I am as worried as ever. Some online studies put DS at almost 2.5 standard deviations below average, which, according to most sites, means almost micropenis. The Dr.Greene chart puts him at a bit more than 1 SD below average. But then the normal range on that chart is only half and inch above and below average so how can the urologist be so sure he couldn't make average? Different studies have different standard deviations. The NHS says that a penis is only considered abnormally small if lees than 7cm erect! So will DS end up at only 7.5cm or thereabouts? And why is stretched penile length measured? Is it supposed to be equal to erect length? I wanted to ask these questions but, each time, was hurried out and pretty much told off.
DS appears to be about 1cm below average, which is a lot on a baby, surely. How could that then translate into being only a cm or 2 below average as an adult, as declared by the second urologist as he tried to get rid of me? When I say he he 3 cm unstretched, I mean properly measured, with the fat pad pushed right down (I know some babies appear small as the pubic fat pad conceals the penis but this is not the case here). FWIW, DH is average size and , from what I glimpsed when he collapsed two years ago getting out of the shower, my own father is at least average....so I don't know where this has all come from.
I do know that I might sound utterly crazy. I do know that I have over-thought this way too much. I have been low-level depressed for a while over marital and financial issues and this has just pushed me into full-on depression. I can handle anything to do with myself but the thought of my DS leading an adult life whereby he is not comfortable in his own skin and feels insecure about relationships just fills me with sadness. I see the truly vicious comments on here about women who ridicule men who are below average and I feel so afraid for my son's future. Say he does end up with a 4 incher, will anyone desire and love him? Both urologists agreed that below average as a baby means below average as an adult. I cannot look at my son without feeling sadness now.
I just needed to get this all out. I've driven myself half mad with statistics and studies and I just cannot stop worrying. Thanks for reading.
I don't know what to say except you will have to wait and see. Testosterone treatment just seems too frightful
If he has a small penis - he has a small penis. There us nothing you can do . I understand that you want to help him but I think it's a fact of life. He is healthy and will be a happy boy and man. There are many men with small penises who are married and have children! it can't be that bad. And I'm pretty certain if my husband had a small penis I would still love him - I'm sure all the spiteful comments cone AFTER a break down!
What does your DP/DH think?
Thanks Mustgettogym. I have reposted my message as a new thread as realised that people will have to read through all the other comments to see my message. That's the thing though....ARE there many men with small penises who are happily married? I have to believe that there are women out there who would overlook this. I am haunted by one comment on here about how no one's DP is underendowed because these small men never make it to the status of "D".And I would not go down the route of testosterone treatment. Thanks x
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.