Ds2 talking about killing himself

[pigsinmud]

Not sure which section to post this in.

Ds2 is 9.5 and in yr5. He has had great difficulty sleeping lately and has become quite low. He came home from a school disco last night with a friend and his dad. The dad was concerend as ds2 had been talking in the car about dying and killing himself.

He has done this before and tends to have bouts when he is very low. He is a bright lad and doing well academically, but despite this has low self-esteem. He feels like he doesn't fit in and says he can't help his thoughts.

I'm thinking of going to speak to the special needs teacher at his school - she does pastoral issues too I think. I'm hoping she can point me in the right direction.

I'm worried - he's only 9 and seems so low.

[cocolepew]

My DD has been doing the same thing, make an appointment with CAMHS or take him to a therapist privately. DD has OCD caused by anxiety, she has intrusive thoughts. It started in November and she is 99.99% better after therapy (CBT type). I'll look for links.

[cocolepew]

here's one about OCD in children

My DD couldn't help her thoughts either they just pop into her head, and they are always to do with suicide, me killing her, or someone telling her to kill herself.

Her theapist did a relaxation session with her and copied a CD of the session. She listens to it everyday and is coping really well.

It's horrendous to suffer through but I want you to know the help is out there and he can get past this.

Good luck x.

[pigsinmud]

Thanks for the reply. I've looked at the CAHMS website - the one for our area says you need to be referred, but this can be by a teacher so I'm hoping the school can help with that.

I'll have a look at the OCD website in a minute. I feel very emotional about this today. I think because he talked about it to someone else. The last time he talked about it was a few months ago and he only ever mentioned wanting to die to us, so I suppose I brushed it aside as just being a bit low. Friend's mother rang this morning to tell me that her ds said that ds2 had been talking about not drinking so he'd die of dehydration.

At least he's telling us these thoughts. If it was ds1 he wouldn't mention anything.

Glad your dd is coping better now.

[siblingrivalry]

My dd has also been through this - I think that a referral to CAMHS is a very good idea.

Once the school has sent the referral, if your ds is still feeling the same, I would advise ringing CAMHS and pushing for an appointment asap. Once they realised how he is feeling, they should see him quickly.

We have had some success with some of these books which are based on CBT.

Good luck. I know how difficult it is to see your child suffering, but with support he can come through it.

[LynetteScavo]

Your GP can refer you to CAHMS, and also to someone private if you can't wait for CAHMS.

[pigsinmud]

Thank you - those books look great. Not sure which one to get as he falls into 3 of them at the moment!

I will try the GP if school is no help. Our GP is lovely, but sometimes not the best at lstening - thought he might fob us off.

Am quite happy to go private if it is a long wait.

I just wish I could take his sadness away.

[cocolepew]

Sorry I posted quickly because I had to go out but wanted to answer.

DD has to write down her thoughs and grade them 1-10, anything under 5 is acceptable anxiety. Then she has to conteract the negative though with a good one and regrade it.

DD is at a therapist who does EMDR, but she has only started that, she got a lot out of just talking and the relaxation CD, i think it's a bit like self hypnotism.

She suffers from anxiety and low self esteem. Her therapist told her straight away he couldn't cure her anxiety, that's who she was, but he could help her cope and to realise the difference between natural anxiety and one that takes over.

He said that the emotional side of her brain was over riding the logical side and the techniques will balance it back up, re-wire her brain so to speak.

[pigsinmud]

Thanks. Yesterday I spoke with the sn/pastoral care teacher at his school. She was lovely. We're going to see her later in the week. She had a long chat with ds2 and phoned us later. She hoped she'd taken away some of his worries about homework.

She mentioned referring him to camhs, but also said a woman comes in to school to chat with a couple of the children and that she might be able to help ds2.

He was a little brighter on Monday. Not quite so bright on Tuesday - I think he was mulling over his chat. I don't know why he worries about homework and then moves on to worrying he might be homeless when he's older and whether people have enough water in Afghanistan?! It's exhausting to keep up with him.

I think I realized last night that he's not going to change - he's always going to worry, but we need to find a way to manage it.

Thanks for your replies - they were very helpful.

[CharlieBoo]

Hi, glad you managed to have a chat with the pastoral worker and that you are getting some support. I agree with you entirely about worrying/anxiety. It is in some childrens makeup to just be like that, part of their personality. My older brother was like this as a child, hated change, real worrier and he is the same as an adult. It's just him. My ds is only 5 but also a real worrier which I wish he wasn't as I often wish he wouldjust enjoy things like the otherchildren can without the worry. I hope you get it sorted. You sound like a fab mum who is helping him all you can. Good luck xxxx