Daughter having a General Anaesthetic. She's very frightened

[Willablackford]

My Daughter age 10 is going into Hospital to get her Tonsils and adenoids out

She so frightened & is crying lots
She said she's scared of sleeping in Hospital & is scared it'll hurt

I'v reassured her she'll be ok & i'll be with her the whole time.
But it's not working & she's so scared

I know she's scared about the general anaesthetic. But she won't tell me why

How do i make it easier for her

[reikizen]

Well I had my tonsils out when I was 10 or 11 and in those days your mum wasn't allowed to stay with you. Horrible. I was okay until I got there and the things that still stay with me are the nurse telling me to run myself a bath (!) Not being able to sleep on the ward as I had never been away from home before and the nurse not 'getting round' to ringing my mum when I was vomiting through nerves all the day before (I was in for 2 days before I think). I was nervous of being in my nightie in front of strangers too, and hated eating strange food. The general was fine, a butterfly in the back of my hand and asking me to count backwards from 10 (didn't get very far!) But having 2 dds of my own it breaks my heart to think of them doing all that alone! It did hurt like bloody hell when I woke up and for a while afterwards so be prepared for that. However, my mum had got my sisters and brother to write me a letter and written one herself for me to open when I came round so that was lovely. I also got a 'pink and pretty' barbie which helped a lot! I really think with you there being all unfazed and capable she will breeze it, they are so nice to kids in hospital now. There are also a lot of books I notice preparing kids for hospital visits, so maybe one of those? I recently had to take dd1 in an emergency and when I asked her afterwards if she had been frightened or upset she looked at me like I was mad and I realised that when you are with your mum you just feel so protected.
Sorry, that went on a bit didn't it, but I am sure it is just the build up that is getting to her and when it comes down to it she will be ok. Good luck

[Willablackford]

I'll get some books to go through with her

I've promised her a big treat when it's all over

She's scared of needles & i know she'll have a needle put into her hand ...

Tbh i'll proably be in tears when i leave her unconscious in the anaesthetic room.

[Willablackford]

Will the Needle hurt her ?

[cory]

My dd had a knee op aged 11. She was very frightened of the GA and of something going wrong with it and not waking up again. At that age, they may well have heard scary stories but have no idea of how tiny the risk is of anything goint wrong. Try to think of something to cheer her up and take her mind off it.

IN the end, she was fine, except that they couldn't get the needle in and in the end she asked for the mask instead as she was afraid of losing nerve.

[MrsLau]

My 4 year old girl had her tonsils and adenoids out 9 days ago. We were very honest with her, she watched a dvd made by the hospital showing her what hospital stay is all about. She was very calm with only the odd worry. They put the magic cream on the hand which numbs it so the catheter thing doesnt hurt so much going in. TBH for me the worst part was when they falol asleep, i did ball my eyes out and contiued to ball for an hour untill i was able to see her again. The pain relief they give is great and my little one was eating and drinking the same day adn even playing in the hospital ball swamp 4 hours after her op. I think lots of cuddles and re assuranc the promise of a special toy or treat for afterwards and top tip, watermelon goes down a treat after the op. good luck x

[Willablackford]

Thankyou for all the lovely replied

The Hospital has sent me all the info we need for her Admission
They've included a dvd showing the Childrens Ward & what will happen on the day

They've also invited us for a pre-admission morning. We get shown round the Childrens Ward & the Theatre Suite. Dd will be able to see & touch lots of the equipment.

Hopefully it'll take away some of the anxieties she has

[reikizen]

With the anaesthetic cream she should only feel a sensation in her hand, not pain. Glad the hosp are being so good about it. Good luck.

[Willablackford]

I haven't told her she'll have a needle put in her hand. Like most Children she's scared of injections

The Numbing Cream sounds great

[reikizen]

dd1 (5) had one recently and thought it was brilliant (strange child). I think the curiosity just took over and she watched the whole time. She was much braver than the adults I take blood from tbh. Kids are a constant surprise I find!! How lovely your dd has a mum who cares so much, and is doing so much to make this easy for her.

[Willablackford]

I hope the Nurses will be nice & reassuring to her

[mattellie]

Make sure they put Emla cream on her hand and leave it long enough to have full effect (at least an hour) before they put the needle in.

DD (11) a bit of an old hand at this, has had 10 GAs already and now just considers them a bit of a bore!

She?s probably just worried about not waking up after the GA, but a nice sympathetic nurse together with a good anaesthetist should reassure her loads. Hope all goes well.

[geogteach]

Definitely take her to look round. DS1 had one last year, he had had them before but couldn't remember. He was worried but was much better when he had visited and seen where it would happen and had it explained by a nurse.

[MamaGoblin]

Make sure you say that she wants EMLA cream as soon as you get in - you might not know how long she'll be there before she goes in, and it'll take an hour at least to work. EMLA ought to be standard for IVs for children (and for anyone who asks for it, really - they are honking great needles) but some hospitals don't have a policy of using it. If she's actually phobic rather than just afraid of needles, might be worth asking for it for the blood test they'll need to do routinely beforehand as well (unless they just do a thumb prick).

Speaking as an adult who was/is also very scared of hospital procedures and needles, I think it helps to know exactly what will happen at each step. When I had an ERPC before I had DS, I was terrified until I managed to pin down some poor Registrar and find out exactly what was going to happen, and when. It ironed out all the variables and made me feel so much more in control. I also got the EMLA! I think I'm essentially a scared child when it comes to hospitals, so I think this is relevant to your DD's situation!

[Blu]

Willa - My DS is 8.5 and had his 9th GA on Tues, so we have had lots of practice!

Some points:
You will get a chance to talk to the anaesthetist, and they may give her the choice of brathing in gas through a mask, or having a a cannula in her hand. The EMLA ('magic cream' as it is called in children's wards) will numb her hand, as well as bringing the vein to the surface. They will let you sit with her on your lap, or cuddling her, distract her and get her to look away, and she will barely feel it go in - and it will be momentary. But I would tell her what happens. In fact, what stays in her hand is NOT a needle at all, but a v fine flexible plastic tube. DS has been much calmer since a sensible nurse, removing one once, showed it to him and demonstrated that it was fine and soft and bendy, and not a needle. (though I daresay it goes on through a hollow needle..)

A cannula is quicker and easier than gas for an older child: they whizz it in, then put the anaesthetic down the tube and they are asleep within seconds. Literally, seconds. 5 at most - I would say it took 3 the other day.

Talk to the anaesthetist about pain relief for afterwards: they will probably give some local anaesthetic or some other pain relief while she is asleep that will be working when she comes round.

Yes, you will cry when you leave her unconscious, everyone always does!

At 10 she may be quite low down the list - they do the youngest children first. This doesn't help with the anxiety, and she may hear children crying. The thing is that children can spend quite a time half conscious and half not when they have been brought back, and cry out, It's best not to disturb them too much, and to let them go to sleep and then wake naturally - every time DS has done this he has woken quite calm, and pain-free. But if you can take her into the day room rather than wait oin the ard (tell the nursing staff at the desk where you are) or have her put headphones on and listen to music. On the other hand many toddlers come straight ot of surgery looking fit and keen to climb everest - which could be very re-assuring for her!

Maybe you could talk her through a list of everyone in your family and the GAs they have had, and how they are all fit and well now, and all OK.

Bribery and distraction! I had a series of small treats and distractions for DS which I produced every time he started to get miserable. Again this is good if she is waiting for a long time and the hunger and thirst is upsetting her.

We make a pact with DS, we have 'the last meal' with him, and then tell him we won't eat either, until he is out of surgery, and then we will all eat together. This is a lie, of course, and to keep our strength up we take it in turns to diappear fro a secret snack. Bt do take food for yourself to the hospiatl - but don't eat and drink in front of her whan she is 'nil by mouth'.

DS had a GA on Tuesday for a small operation o the roof of his mouth, and was back at school today, quite happily.

Good luck!

[Willablackford]

Thanks for the lovely messages

She told me she's frightened she won't wake up again She was so upset when she told.

I've reassured her that she'll be looked after & will wake up afterwards - but it hasn't help atall

I feel such a bad Mum unable to reassure & ease my DD's fears

I don't know how we;ll ger her to the Hospital, she's refusing to go

[Willablackford]

Thanks for the lovely messages

She told me she's frightened she won't wake up again She was so upset when she told.

I've reassured her that she'll be looked after & will wake up afterwards - but it hasn't help atall

I feel such a bad Mum unable to reassure & ease my DD's fears

I don't know how we'll get her to the Hospital, she's refusing to go

[Blu]

I wonder what has made her think she won't wake up again?

I wonder if the anaesthetist would explain to her how he will wake her up again, and how once he takes away the anaesthetic her body will wake up?

Do you know of anything that could have frightened her like that?

Does she really need this op? Could it wait 6m, do you think?

Would it be worth talking to your GP or the hospital and asking if she could have some sedative beforehand - a little..oh, I forget the real name of the drug - DS has had it, it is a muscle relaxant and makes you feel GREAT and not frightened. A form of valium.

[Blu]

And...you'e not a bad Mum!

Poor poor dd.

[mattellie]

I second everything Blu has said, and Willa hospital are scary places ? unless you?ve spent as much time in them as Blu and I obviously have! ? it?s only natural to be apprehensive. That does NOT make you a bad mum, or even anything close to it.

We were lucky in that DD?s godfather is an anaesthetist (asked before we knew how much time we were going to be spending in hospitals ), so he was able to talk DD through it all.

Does your DD realise that she?s only likely to be asleep for a very short time? Not sure on tonsils and adenoids, but 40 minutes, maybe? That?s probably less time than her favourite TV show lasts. Also, you will be right beside her as soon as she shows signs of starting to wake up.

Not sure it would be a good idea to postpone as that might just lead to more anxiety, to your DD building it up into an even bigger thing. I think I?d go with lots and lots of reassurance and cuddles, take her favourite things with you to the hospital, tell all the doctors and nurses that she?s very nervous so they are aware, discuss all the nice things you are going to do together next week, talk about getting her friends round etc etc and make it clear that life will carry on as normal after this (very brief) interruption.

Hope that helps and that all goes well.

[Willablackford]

She's determined that's she not having it done.

She's just so terrified about not waking up from the general anaesthetic

She had a nightmare last night & woke up crying. She told me she was having her tonsils out & she didn't wake atall after the operation

I'm also extremely apprehensive. I've nor any of my family have experienced Anaesthetic before

[mattellie]

Well you know, anaesthetists are doing this all day, every day, it?s highly specialised and they only apply just sufficient anaesthetic to put patients to sleep for long enough to carry out the operation.

Why?s she having her tonsils and adenoids out? Is she having lots of bouts of tonsilitis or trouble with her hearing or what? Perhaps you need to go back to her GP/doctor, explain her fears and see what they suggest.

I think you also need to address where this fear is coming from (TV? a book?). It?s a perfectly rational fear, but you need to find out what the source of it is so you can tackle it.

And finally, I don?t want to sound harsh, but you have to be strong for your DD. You can?t be apprehensive yourself as she will pick up on this, you need to approach the whole thing like it?s no big deal (even if you think it is )

[TigerFeet]

your poor dd

perhaps she could talk to someone who has had a GA?

my dd had one last year when she was 4 - she was given gas to make her sleep (the anaesthetist called it "magic wind" so she never saw a canula, it was inserted after she had gone over. I think this helped enormously, she would have been really upset and scared had she seen it I think.

She had a trip to the children's ward before she went in which helped. THere was a family liaison bod there, do you have similar at your hospital? She was brilliant with dd, really reassuring.

[Willablackford]

She's been having lots of bouts of tonsilitis. Been really ill & missed so much school

She's also really blocked up,& has been suffering bad earaches & blocked ears. She find's it hard to breath through her mouth

Ofcourse i'll be strong for DD. It's just when she gets upset,it's hard to not show my feelings

Luckily Hubby is being very supportive & is the strong one out of us !

I went to the Library & picked up some childrens books about hospital & having operations. Hopefully these will help a little

[Blu]

When is the operation, Willa?

It does sound as if it would help if she could talk to someone who has had GAs.

And there is no need for you to be apprehensive - she will pick up on that. Anaesthetics are SAFE nowadays and very specifically administered - not like in the old days. This is why people don't throw up after anaesthetics any more - well hardly any, anyway. And they have specialist paediatric anaesthetists.

[Willablackford]

The Operation is 2 weeks today.

Next week we're going for the Pre-admission Saturday Club. We'll be shown round the Childrens Department,& the Anaesthetic Room.

The Hospital has arranged for us to spend 1 hour with a Play Specialist.Not really sure what they'll do. ?