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Come talk to me - ears pinned back - anyone being through this with their child?

(62 Posts)
Sandy22 Sat 12-Sep-09 21:51:14

My ds does have fairly large ears which do stick out - he is becoming more aware of this and is asking why his ears can't be like mine and go in rather than stick out. Has anyone had a child that have had their ears pinned back? I would be grateful to hear from you.

No but will be interested to hear responses. DD1 (12) has very sticky out ears. She hasn't really noticed yet, but it is inevitable that she will at some point.

preciouslillywhite Sat 12-Sep-09 22:01:07

I have massively sticky out ears. It made my school life hell, so my mum told me that when I reached my 16th birthday I could decide whether or not to have them done.On my 16th, I talked to my bitch close friend and she said "but precious, your massive ears are part of what makes you YOU!"

I listened to, and took, her sage advice. Now at 43 still wish I hadn't hmm

Sandy22 Sat 12-Sep-09 22:15:17

School is what I am bothered about - my ds is only 7 but already some of the other boys are calling him big ears sad

preciouslillywhite Sat 12-Sep-09 22:25:00

Sandy my ds (pfb, 12) has had the misfortune of inheriting my ears...when he was a baby loads of people told me to stick them down with plasters when he was asleep!!

...now, he has had a fair bit of pisstaking at school over the years, and has longish hair to cover them, but he's not overly bothered about them and is, of course, devilishly handsome anyway wink

interestingly I never (or hardly!) considered getting them pinned back, even tho I know at first hand what it's like to live with em! It never seemed worth the risk of an op to me, and they are liveable with. Whatever I said in my last post wink

barbarapym Sat 12-Sep-09 22:42:53

My brother had it done in the early eighties, aged about 9 I think. Quite drastic, involving a general anesthetic, overnight stay in hospital and wearing a bandage on his head for a couple of weeks afterwards ( his hair was moulded into a funny shape for ages afterwards!) His ears were quite bad though- my uncle, who was never exactly sensitive, used to call him 'wingnut'...

Alas I have started to notice that my beautiful 3yo dd has inherited them, but at least she has long hair so I hope she and others won't notice.

Elibean Sat 12-Sep-09 22:43:45

No, but my bf at school had her pinned back...it was a very long time ago, but I remember her having to be careful for a while after she came back to school. She was probably about 7 or 8 at the time, and she was very sensitive about her ears - though I don't remember anyone teasing her (and I'd never noticed them!).

Also, my dd1's friend is about to have hers pinned back in a couple of weeks' time. She's nearly 6, and the doctor apparently said this was a good age, on the basis that teasing - if there is any - tends to start around the age of 7. They've had lots of info about it, her Mum is going to talk to the school, I think she'll miss a week or more because of having to be very careful not to bump her ears after the op till they've healed.

If there's anything specific you'd like to know, I can ask her for you if that would help.

LeonieSoSleepy Sat 12-Sep-09 22:49:16

Message withdrawn

Sandy22 Sun 13-Sep-09 11:28:13

Thank you so much for all your replies smile - it's hard to say but I think if I had a girl I may not even think about it as I would hope her hair could cover but my ds likes to have his hair short - I really am in two minds about this, part of me thinks he will be okay to tough it out but then part of me thinks well why should he have to. DH is in agreement that ds's ears do really stick out and thinks we should look at getting them pinned back - he says that high school for boys is hard enough without someone picking on him because of his ears.

Elibean could you please keep in touch with me and let me know how your dd1's friend is after the op - I would be very grateful smile

Elibean Sun 13-Sep-09 14:01:42

Of course I will smile

We're about to move house, so will be offline for a week or two but her op isn't till the end of the month anyway. Will re-post on this thread for practicality's sake.

If it were my ds, I think I'd be thinking the same as you and your dh...I'm not scared of ops per se, since dd2 had her tonsils and adenoids out age just 2. Benefits, in her case, far outweighed the downsides...harder to weigh up with ears, but still would consider and research I think.

Also, my parents didn't get my teeth straightened when I was 12 on the basis that I was too scared/upset at the idea - I still wish they'd had the ability to support me through that and go ahead!

Sandy22 Sun 13-Sep-09 14:58:35

Many thanks Elibean - good luck with the house move - catch up with you in a couple of weeks smile

mollyroger Sun 13-Sep-09 15:07:19

both my boys have 'monkey' ears, as they call them Neither dh or I do. Both have very long hair to cover it. No teasing yet, but they are aware of it.
I asked HV and GP when ds1 was 3 and was told not to be so stupid and be grateful they were healthy, lovely-looking boys..

dogonpoints Sun 13-Sep-09 15:11:52

My friend's dd (12) has just had this op. Very sticky out ears. When she went on a visit to her new high school, the first thing an older pupil said to her was a comment about her ears.

The op was very successful, bandages off and stitches out after one week and, most importantly, my friend's dd is very happy with the result and has made a confident start to high school. No point putting yourself through constant teasing unnecessarily.

wingandprayer Sun 13-Sep-09 15:24:57

I had my ears pinned back at 10 and was without a doubt the best thing my parents ever did for me. Apart from the anaesthetic and some mild post operative discomfort was actually very straight forward and this was 25 years ago so they probably even better at it now! I hated the teasing and had fine hair so couldn't really cover them up.

mollyroger Sun 13-Sep-09 15:31:26

will they do it on nhs? Presume not as it is cosmetic.
Anyone know roughly how much it miught cost?

dogonpoints Sun 13-Sep-09 15:45:48

I am pretty sure my friend got it on nhs. If it is something significant which can affect self-esteem etc, nhs would do it.

Sandy22 Sun 13-Sep-09 17:23:42

I'm hoping it can be done on the NHS - I'm going to make an appt to see the GP so will come back and let you know.

ByThePowerOfGreyskull Sun 13-Sep-09 17:29:46

Sandy - I am interested to read this thread, My DS1 was born without any cartiledge (sp?) in his left ear, it flops over and has little structure to it We were guided that they wouldnt do anything before he was 5 and after that only if we felt it was going to cause problems.
DH and I don't agree, I feel as it gets bigger the floppyness will be more and more obvious, DH feels that as he is coping we should wait.
SO that is what we are doing, but I will be totally ready to proceed with an operation at the point DS1 is being picked on about it.

castille Sun 13-Sep-09 17:49:39

DD1 (then nearly 11) had hers done last summer.

My advice would firstly be to make sure your DS definitely wants to have the op, and not do it unless he is sure. Your DS might not be teased about his ears, or they might not bother him as much as you think, or he might cope perfectly well with any teasing.

My DD was totally adamant she wanted to have hers done before starting secondary school. She was terrified of the anaesthetic and was in some pain afterwards, but that subsided within a day or two. One year on the result is pretty good and she is glad she did it.

Can't help re NHS though as we are in France.

NorbertDentressangle Sun 13-Sep-09 17:57:46

I had mine done on the NHS when I was about 18. Saw the GP who referred me to a consultant plastic surgeon.

I'd been approved to have it done when I was about 10 but my name got lost on the waiting list and I didn't decide to chase it until years later. I think it would have been easier to have it done when I was around 10 rather than 18 just from the point of view of the bandages being on for 2 weeks. (not a good look when you're 18 and trying to impress a fairly boyfriend wink)

I didn't really get teased at school about my ears but I was aware of them. I always wore my hair to cover them up. Having them done gave me so much more freedom

NorbertDentressangle Sun 13-Sep-09 17:58:29

oops..."fairly new boyfriend" that is

NoahAmin Sun 13-Sep-09 18:01:54

deffo have it done imo

Elibean Sun 13-Sep-09 20:42:33

Sandy, dd's friend is getting hers done on the NHS.

Thanks for the luck, I need it wink

Question here for those of you with bat-eared children. Would you bring the subject up with them if they had never mentioned it themselves?
I don't think DD has ever been teased about her ears, and most of the time she wears her hair loose so the ears are not noticeable, but when she ties it back her ears are the first thing you look at.
I don't want to talk to her about it if she hasn't noticed it, but equally I would hate to think that she did know and mind and just hadn't told me how she felt. she is 12 and in Yr 8 so I would have thought that if teasing was going to happen it would have done so by now.

maize Mon 14-Sep-09 10:20:59

Different perspective. My DH has sticky out ears and his parents point blank refused to allow him to have them pinned (very against cosmetic alterations). He wears his hair a little bit longer so he can disguise it but now his hair is thinning and he is going to have to shave it very shortly and he is dreading it because of his ears.

He says that if our children have sticky out ears he will allow them to have their ears pinned as soon as they want it because his have got more obvious as he is older.

My ears look like they have been pinned - people have asked and I get complimented on them (weirdly) so pinned ears look nice apparently?

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