Advice on removing large mole on forehead

[hazlinh]

DD (5) was born with a large mole on her forehead the size of an adult's thumb. Paed said not to worry about it cos it looked ok at the time but over the years have had a few anxious moments, with new bumps growing on it, etc but also probably because she kept bumping her head on doors, walls, sometimes.

Had a fresh scare last weekend when it started to peel a bit after a hot day out at the beach, despite me putting on lots of sunblock as always on her.

Took her to the dermatologist yesterday and she said it was alright, just a little scratch and that it didn't look cancerous. but she suggested having it removed entirely to prevent any more future concerns or anxiety. so she suggested discussing with a paed surgeon and a plastic surgeon.

spoke to a paed surgeon, and he said he could remove it by cutting it out and stitching the two sides together. there wd be a scar but he said it would be less conspicuous than the mole. he also urged me to seek another opinion fr the plastic surgeon. i haven't done that yet but have an appointment to see him on thur.

i would like any sort of advice from anyone who has gone through this. i think i may have asked this question before, a long time ago, but didn't get that many replies maybe, and abandoned the idea. i'd just like to know if it's possible to remove a large mole, and if there will be a bad scar or if it can be done with minimal pain and trauma. have asked dd if she wants the mole removed, she said yes, but didn't want it "cut" out which is the word the paed surgeon used.

basically i need to know if it is worth going ahead and deciding to remove the mole, and what is the best method, or if we shd just let it be. i know no one can answer that question for me, but i need the vast experience of mumsnetters out there to help me explore all the options and come to a decision.

[hazlinh]

tia by the way...would be grateful for any advice or support or anything

[cornsilk]

Poor you and dd. I don't know what I'd do having not been in your situation. I would be reassured by the surgeons though.

[BonsoirAnna]

Definitely insist on a plastic surgeon doing this, not a paediatric surgeon. You want to minimise the scar and a plastic surgeon (even better, a plastic surgeon specialised in dermatology) will do this far better than a paediatric surgeon.

[ellingwoman]

No medical advice but I'd get it removed. A scar is better than something that will get knocked and bleed. Does she have to be careful when putting clothes on etc? It will always be in the way. Have no ideas about methods. I have had skin tags removed this way and there is scarring.

Hope you make the right decision!

[Moosy]

I think if it was me I'd want it removed for peace of mind in the future - large moles are always a worry as you always have to keep watching for change/itching etc.

Whereabout on her forehead is it? Right up by her hairline or further down towards her eyes? Just wondering about the options of possible coverage with a fringe?

[WhereTheWildThingsWere]

It's hard to offer advice, the only thing I can think of is to imagine it had been you, would you rather your parents had had it removed when you were a child or left it alone?

I think I would rather have had it done as a child if it were me, and childrens skin heals much better than adults.

[catinthehat2]

Haz.
Just to keep this bumped and to wait for the real answers.

My story, some minor similarities to y0our DD, no urging you either way:

I had a mole the size of a frozen pea under my arm, always in the way and I was sensitive about it eg when swimming. I had it cut out as a young adult, and was warned it mught grow back.

In fact its been gone for donkeys, and has never grown back and I know there's a tiny scar there, but no-one else would. the GP did it in his surgery (because I think he really wanted to be a surgeon!) and made a v nice job, just by drawing teh edges together and stitching. I think he did dig down a bit to the roots, he did send the bits off to be examined and there were no problems.

[stickylittlefingers]

my dd2 has a strawberry mark on her face. If she had to have it removed (we're hoping that it'll go on its own) the dermatologist said it would be done by laser. I'm not sure if this is suitable for a mole or whether it would be any different to "cutting" (not a nice word to hear in relation to your child - I do sympathise), but it sounds like a slightly different answer.

[hazlinh]

cornsilk, tks for the support..

BonsoirAnna, I will. Thanks for the advice..

ellingwoman, I think I may have to in the end. But it's actually a flat mole, not a protruding one. But it seems to be a bulls eye for all doors, walls and other hard surfaces!! sigh. How bad is your scarring?

[hazlinh]

Moosy, that's what the dermatologist said.
It's above her left eye, right in the centre between the eyebrow and the hairline. We've tried covering it with a fringe, but DD doesn't like fringes, maybe it gets in the way or irritates her?

Wherethewildthingswere, that's a good point. I'm just worried something might go wrong and then she'll blame me but u do make a lot of sense.

gosh catinthehat2, that does reassure me somewhat. i think my main problem tho, is that DD's mole is so large and in such a prominent location that a risk of a scar, no matter how small is enough to put me off. Or maybe I'm just being silly and paranoid?

stickylilfingers, I may be wrong, but I'm not sure the laser method would do it for DD's mole, cos it's so large? How large is your dd's? Perhaps I need to discuss the laser method with the plastic surgeon.

tks again for all the advice and support, and do keep them coming..

[WorzselMummage]

My DD had a birthmark on her lip which we had removed in February (she was 4+2). We asked for a referal to a pead plastic surgeon via our GP and went from there. It was done at Birmingham Childrens Hospital as a day case and tbh it was much more traumatic for Df and I than for DD, she didnt seem bothered atall but we found it hard. We agonised over it, whether or not it was the right thing to do etc but came to the conclusion that it was, mainly because we thought it would have been better before she started school, for obvious reasons. It'll need more work but we wont be getting anything else doing to it untill she can decide for herself if she wants to.

Df had a mole removed on his back and he has a scar but you'd not see it unless you knew it was there, he had that done with a local anesthetic i think.

I think if it's being knocked and bumped and your finding that your worrying about it consantly then considering surgery is the next logical step.. maybe ask for a referal and then your in the system so to speak.

sarah

[hazlinh]

Thanks WorzselMummage..your experience does help..I too am agonising over whether or not itll be the right thing to do..
Was your DD's birthmark a flat one? and how small/big was it? What do u mean by it needs more work.
tks!

[beaniebaby25]

hazlinh
thought it might benefit you if i told you a bit about my experience. I had a raised mole (it was actually called a Papilloma if i remember correctly but basically looked like a mole) about the size of a pea in my hairline on my neck. I put up with it until i was about 16, and in the years leading up to getting it removed (which I instigated btw) I used to be paranoid about getting it caught on my hairbrush and I never ever wore my hair up as I was terrified that someone would see it.

It really affected my confidence and I'm so glad i eventually had it removed. It wasn't obvious to many people unless they were standing behind me looking at my hairline, but i knew it was there. And i hated having to explain about it to hairdressers as a teen. So I had it lasered off after a local anaesthetic, had a couple of stitches and a protective gauze for a few days. They said it might come back but it hasn't.

So, in short, I'd say that unless you really make an effort to tell her she's beautiful as she is etc etc, give her the confidence to know that it doesn't matter (which I'm sure you would if you decided not to remove it) - then I think she'd thank you for having it removed while she's young. A scar would be much less noticable than the mole and wouldn't be a cause of constant concern. And as she's older she can always use a dab of makeup if it hasn't vanished by then.

hope that's of some use

[WorzselMummage]

this was before the surgery

this is afterwards

it wasnt a flat one it was quite large reallym. she actualy had 2 removed, one on wrist too and that ne has scared but is still a lot better then the birthmark.

it'll need more work because when they did the surgery they ony take a bit away. it is better but its not perfect iykwim. The surgeon said to me that it was better to take not quite enough than a little bit to much as they can always take more but they can never put it back.

The thing i found hard was i felt like i was letting DD down by doing it.. i love her completly, of course and it kind of felt like a bit of a betrayal agreeing that something wasn't perfect ( of course it was! ) and i had some major wobbles leading up to it. but i don't doubt not it was the right thing to do though now.

From our first referal to the surgery was about 2 years too so even if you do ask to meet the surgeon now there is plenty of time to mull it over.

What does your DD think about it ?

[ellingwoman]

The one under my arm has the skin pulled too tight so is a bit unsightly. I have another growing nearby and am reluctant to go back as may not be able to move my arm! This was my gp and not a surgeon btw.

The one on my backside(according to dp) is good, this was done at the hospital.

The fact that dd wants it removed would swing it for me. She will be under anaesthetic so won't be aware of the procedure. A little fib about the 'cutting'?

[gordonpym]

I had a mole removed from my back, having the choice, I asked for a plastic surgeon. She took it off doing a kite shape cut, and then closing the edges. i was extremely careful about sun during the whole summer, covering it with a band aid, and now my husband can't find it at all.
More than the size, it depends how deep the mole is. Moles have roots, quite disgusting to see. The surgeon showed me mine, and it looked like a mushroom.
my sister had one removed from her back 10 years ago, and you can see the scar, but my sister always had a "bad" slin, eczema as a child, very sensitive skin still now, ...
Scars vary according to skin type and the care you give to it when it's fresh. AB cream,leave stiches max time, and stay away from the sun, keep it clean from sand, dirt and all other things kids touch all the time. No water/ moisture on the stiches, so be really careful during bath, hair washing.

If it were my child, I would do it. Not only ( and mainly) because of the constant bruising, worrying, but also for her self image. Children can be veeeeeeeeeeery naughty, and in her teens, it will be difficult for her.
Also remember, moles do change with time, they can spread, grow higher, change color, etc... do you want to worry each time? But take your time to search for the right plastic surgeon. Ask about the type of stiches, how many, how tiny, ...
One last word about the pain. I had none, only a strange feeling, due to the skin pulling, but no pain at all.

[stickylittlefingers]

dd2's is about the size of a butter bean (and about the same shape). Interesting that beaniebaby's was lasered off too. Do other children react to your dd's mole? I was struck that even dd2's then 6 month old cousin was reaching out and trying to squish her little mark, obviously it was about the first thing he noticed about her face. Her older sister's friends have shown a lot of interest (not nasty, just either curious or worried because it does look a bit like a blood blister). So while I love her exactly as she is and wouldn't change her at all for my sake, I think life will be easier without it. So if it doesn't continue to recede, I would do something (even tho I hate the thought of it)

[hazlinh]

Thanks so much for all the comments! They've been extremely helpful!

Haven't been on for a while as was busy with work, and meeting surgeons. Met a general surgeon (who was recommended by a friend whose son had had a large mole removed fr his thigh) who said as it was on the face, he recommended the plastic surgeon I was also seeing.

So went to see the plastic surgeon, who put me off a bit with his manner, or lack of bedside manner. Probably my fault, as the first question I asked was, have you removed a lot of large moles fr the face, previously? And he took offence and said Yes that's my area, you obviously don't know anything about what I do! And his assistant hastily took out his card and showed me that it said Plastic, cosmetic and Reconstructive Surgeon under his name! Well pardon me for being a paranoid and sceptical mum! Well anyway, he said he'd just done two toddlers with a large mole under their eyes and it went fine. And he said he could do DD's and do a skin graft? by covering it with skin from her hairline. Probably due to the mole being rather large, if he just joined the two sides together, it'd feel too tight? And that it wd be under light anaesthetic. I forgot to ask about the type of stitches and how many! Silly me. But he said scarring would be minimal, and he showed me photos of babies with cleft lips whom he'd done, and after a few months, you couldn't see the scars anymore. He didn't have any photos of children with moles, as he said such cases were not anything out of the ordinary, he didn't bother to take photos!! not sure if i was reassured.

anyway, may try and get other recommendations for plastic surgeons fr other friends and see how it goes...

beaniebaby, i did ask the general surgeon about laser, but he said it wouldn't help in dd's case n the scarring would be worse?

worzselmummage, thank you so much for the photos, they were very helpful. the doctor seems to have done a very good job indeed. how did ur dd handle it? did she have to have a drip? not sure how my dd will handle that.. i know what u mean tho, the only reason i didn't do it for 5 years is because i feared i was letting her down if i removed it. and i felt guilty for feeling bothered about the mole. but she definitely doesn't like it and would probably remove it later if i didn't now.

ellingwoman, i think i'll deffo have to fib about the cutting!!! sigh.

gordonpym, it's definitely important for her self-image i think. the kids in school probably already talk about it and use it as a label. dd really hates it but at the same time, i've never made a huge fuss about it, so she's grown to live with it so far. but all the doctors i spoke to say it's probably best to remove it now before she starts "real school" soon for her self-esteem, not to mention the risk of cancer. only the paed didn't encourage me to! (when she was born)
i'm glad u say u didnt feel any pain...sigh.
how long did it take to heal?

stickylittlefingers, yeah it used to be the first thing everyone notices about her. but since being diagnosed as short-sighted recently, her glasses take top place. don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing...
but yes i agree, life might be easier without it...am just nervous about the procedure now. asked the plastic surgeon about risks, and he said there was nothing to worry about and the risk was really low but she could have a bad reaction to the anaesthesia but that it's very rare.