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4 week baby in intensive care - losing my mind

(127 Posts)
Frecklesandspecs Mon 09-Dec-13 19:59:15

My 4 week baby has bronchiolitis and this morning took a turn for the worse. I took him to A and E and all the Dr s were called.
He wasn't breathing properly and they think he May have stopped breathing for a bit while waiting to see them.
Anyway he has had tubes put down him and was transferred to kings in London.

I've been at home with my other two sick kids while dh has been there during the transfer. I had planned to go and stay with him tonight but they don't have any available accomodation for parents.

I don't know what to do. Do I go and sit in the hospital ?
Stay home?
I'm really upset.

Frecklesandspecs Mon 09-Dec-13 20:00:57

Guess I just wanted to know what to do and from parents who have been there.
Sick with worry. I hate the thought of leaving him.

Didnt want to read and run but no advice. Just lots of love and thoughts coming your way x

Iwaswatchingthat Mon 09-Dec-13 20:03:18

Sorry not had experience of this other than one night stay with older child. But I did not want to read bad run.
Hope your little one brighter soon.

Iwaswatchingthat Mon 09-Dec-13 20:03:46

Read and run - sorry

Rollermum Mon 09-Dec-13 20:04:08

I don't have any experience of this do no advice, but didn't want to read and run. I expect someone with more she advice will be along soon.

Sorry to hear about your DS, how scary. He is in the right place. I hope there is an improvement soon.

Frecklesandspecs Mon 09-Dec-13 20:04:16

Ty both. X

VioletGoesVintage Mon 09-Dec-13 20:04:45

Oh no. Poor you sad

Can't you stay at his bedside? Is he on the children's ward? In my (limited) experience, almost all the children have a parent staying with them, even if only on a chair.

Hope he's better very soon.

MrsClauswearsspanx Mon 09-Dec-13 20:05:03

Surely you can stay somehow? I would insist. So sorry OP. Thoughts coming your way here, too. Xx

AnotherWorld Mon 09-Dec-13 20:05:22

If it were me wild horses couldn't keep me away. Do you have someone who can be with your other children?

Very sorry for you. When my 3 week old was in hospital, they found me a camp bed. It's really unfair to keep you away from a new small baby like that sad maybe go down there and insist they find you somewhere to stay? X x

Frecklesandspecs Mon 09-Dec-13 20:07:22

Dh said they only let him in for 10 mins after waiting to see him. Maybe I should call the ward and ask myself?

Sirzy Mon 09-Dec-13 20:08:20

He is in the best place. I am amazed they don't have any parent accommodation, but if that is the case then you are probably best staying at home with the other children for tonight.

DS had bronchiolitis when he was 8 weeks old and spent 5 days on CPAP and was in hospital for a total of 12 days. It is horrible at the time but he is in the right place and I am sure the staff will look after him.

Talk to the staff, ask them any questions you may have - they are there to help and part of that is looking after the parents.

As hard as it is make sure you and your husband look after yourselves - eating, drinking, sleeping as much as possible.

Hope he improves quickly

Frecklesandspecs Mon 09-Dec-13 20:08:40

Another , dh would have stayed home with the otber two while I go.

Sirzy Mon 09-Dec-13 20:09:47

When DS was on CPAP there was no space in the room for anyone to stay with him, on the main ward we could but not in HDU - he needed round the clock nursing there so it just wasnt possible. The staff did find me a bed elsewhere though (not that I slept)

Mama1980 Mon 09-Dec-13 20:11:52

My ds1 had numerous heart operations and was in intensive care for most of his first year. I would insist no way on earth would I leave him alone. They never refused to let me stay even if it was only in a chair at his side.
Try to remember he's in the best place, hard I know but keep focused on that.
X

I would want to be there and would be v pushy about it. Phone first though to make sure you can see him. Hope he improves during the night thanks

Frecklesandspecs Mon 09-Dec-13 20:12:21

Sirzy I know you are right. I Will not sleep, haven't eaten all day. I'm exhausted already and the night has just begun! They say all the parent accomodation is taken by people from further away.

wrenster Mon 09-Dec-13 20:13:01

Hi there. Firstly, big big hugs, I can understand you must be beside yourself.

I had premature triplets who at 3 weeks old (still Pre term) all caught broncilitis. It was truly awful and the first time I actually feared for their lives. One wasn't quite as poorly so he stayed at home, the other two were back in hospital.

I stayed at the hospital with the two most poorly as I was expressing and felt they should have the milk at that time. The hospital gave us a room to sleep in with them. My DH stayed at home with one of DSs and looked after him.

Then MIL and DM came to help, brought food into hospital, fed DH etc and we all basically took shifts. It was an horrendous time especially when they said my poor DD needed to be transferred to GOSH. Thankfully she rallied slightly and they felt they could stabilise her at our local hospital.

In terms of advice, is there anyone else you can ask to help you? I know it made me feel a lot calmer being at the hospital, talking to the docs and feeling involved although obv nothing I could actually do. I would have gone insane at home. I presume your other 2 aren't as poorly? I would go to the hospital myself. Take changes of clothes, food and anything else you might need for a few days.

Mine were all in a week or so, but are now 5 and suffed no ill effects. I know how worried you must be so I hope this helps

RedPencilPot Mon 09-Dec-13 20:14:27

I would go and stay with him, I'm sure you don't really care about a bed.

Poor, poor you- that's awful.

I really hope he gets better soon.

Golddigger Mon 09-Dec-13 20:14:32

Go, definitely go.

Sirzy Mon 09-Dec-13 20:14:50

How far away from the hospital are you? Perhaps worth looking to book into a cheap hotel if you can afford it for a few nights so one of you can be near?

But before doing anything else get something to eat, even if its just a slice of toast. Honestly I know its hard and its the last thing you want to do but you need to keep your strength up. I was practically kicked off the ward by one nurse who reminded me that when he was in hospital they were doing the looking after side of things (which in itself is odd and horrible) but when he was well enough to come home he would need me to be well and strong enough to look after him - and she was right.

Rooners Mon 09-Dec-13 20:17:48

I'm so sorry to hear of this.

I think it would be best if DH comes home to care for the others while you go to your little boy.

Not that DHs aren't any use but just that he has known your smell and voice from inside you and so you will still be his 'primary' person, and I would imagine that every tiny thing in that respect will help him as he is so so little.

Same the other way round - you are almost still the same person as your baby, he's in his fourth trimester smile

Thinking of you very much tonight.

Golddigger Mon 09-Dec-13 20:17:50

Dont stay at home. Be there. Even if you only get a chair.
I had 2 children in special care. Sound like you very much need to be there. For yourself. I know how you feel.

Frecklesandspecs Mon 09-Dec-13 20:18:47

Dh said he has dedicated nurse with him all the time. He just called and said there is a chair there and I could but he needs to get home first then take me there somehow and its quite a long way.
I May just get taxi there a bit later.

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