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10yr old & periods - advice please

(36 Posts)

My niece is staying with us this weekend. She apparently started her periods a month a go so has been sent armed with pant liners, though I doubt she'll fall into a regular cycle straight away anyhow.

The reason I'm posting is that she lives with my MIL & PIL who are in their 70s, she only learnt about periods three months ago because they (she comes with my nephew who is 12) came to stay when our dog was in season so we used it as an opportunity to discuss puberty and periods with both of them.

My MIL phoned me yesterday to tell me but hadn't told DH during their twice weekly phone calls and I think is keeping it 'secret' from the male members of the family.

I am intending to try and find some time this weekend to talk things through with her without the massive generation gap getting in the way as it is at home. I also want to talk about tampons with her as she is very sporty and apparently worrying about swimming and gymnastics (and school). Any advice on how I go about this? And what tampons are best for a 10 year old to deal with?

Any advice greatly received from anyone who has dealt with a relatively young starter please. Anything else that would be good to talk through with her? My DDs are only 5 & 7, I thought I had longer to prepare for this!

Theimpossiblegirl Sat 24-Aug-13 20:04:43

Bless her. No-one needs to know if she is discreet but it may be handy to tell a teacher that she likes. I bet she's not the only one of her friends to have started. No-one will laugh at her, although a few may be impressed if she does choose to tell them.

You are fab, she's lucky to have you.

exexpat Sat 24-Aug-13 21:58:15

At 10 she might be the first of her friends to start, but by the end of year 6 there will certainly be others. I am expecting my DD, who is the same age as your niece, to be the first in her year to start (she's the tallest, most developed and turns 11 in October), any time now. One of her friends, who comes up to her shoulder and is way off puberty, keeps asking DD if she's started yet - she seems to be jealous of DD being more grown-up.

I'm sure you can reassure her that no one need even know that she's having a period unless she wants to tell them, and no one will laugh at her (well, some of the more immature boys might, but I'm sure she's used to ignoring them, just like my DD is). Depending on the toilet/bin situation at school, confiding in a teacher is probably a good idea.

Thank you again everyone for the useful info. She doesn't think anyone else has started at school. I said they may have but just keeping it discreet and if she wants to she can do the same. I'm going to get MIL to speak to the school when they go back and check out the sanitary bin situation, she goes to a very small village school so I really hope they have considered it.

I like the tip about changing for PE, I spoke to her about crop tops as well for PE changing days but she wasn't keen. I think she was weighing up the embarrassment factor of explaining the crop tops (no-one else wears them apparently) over hiding her chest.

I had a little giggle as I asked if she had any questions about the books and she wanted to talk about the 'having crushes on boys' section! So we had a very sweet chat about why she didn't ask a boy to the school disco when she really wanted to grin

Teabee Sun 25-Aug-13 10:43:11

How about close fitting camisole for PE instead of crop tops. My dd (10yrs) wears crops tops these as do many of her friends at school but I think these would provide coverage and a little bit of support if she doesn't want the crop tops.
You sound like a FAB aunt smile

cocolepew Sun 25-Aug-13 10:50:17

M&S do 5 crop tops for £7 ( or the other way aroundhmm) DD is 11 and wears them they are plain white and a good size but nice and light.

cocolepew Sun 25-Aug-13 10:53:19

Magnesium can help with painful or heavy periods. Both my DDs take a teen multivitamin. DD1 take tranexamic acid to reduce her heavy periods also.

Lonecatwithkitten Sun 25-Aug-13 11:02:51

My DD is nearly 10 and for a variety of reasons we are expecting periods soon. I bought her Adwords-_-AdCore Product-_-GGUP - The Smart Girl's Guide To Growing Up-_-the smart girl's guide to growing up&gclid=CJb2l4qrmLkCFafLtAodHH8A1Q The Smart Girls Guide to growing up which she really liked and dealt with periods really well including worst case scenarios like flooding at school.
She also wears M&S crop tops they do a wide range so lots to choose from whether you want straps or racer backs.

Lonecatwithkitten Sun 25-Aug-13 11:03:36

Sorry first attempt at link on iPad it's the Smart girls guide to growing up from the Book people.

exexpat Sun 25-Aug-13 11:16:29

I would buy her a few crop tops just in case - DD had been dead against them, but within a few days of starting year 5 asked me to get her some, as suddenly 'everybody' (ie at least a few others) was wearing them and she didn't want to be left out. Your DN could well find there is a sudden outbreak of crop tops at her school at the beginning of year 6.

Very sweet about the crushes on boys thing - not something I have had to deal with with DD yet, she thinks they are all horribly annoying.

heronsfly Sun 25-Aug-13 11:25:02

i would discreetly check that her school has got sani bins actually in the cubicles,our primary school has only just got them fitted, girls have had to use the staff ladies up to recently, most of them just hid the used pads in there bags because it was obvious why they were using staff toilets.

Lonecat that was the other book I got her actually. It looked pretty good.

Might chat with MIL about the crop tops so she is prepared just in case. They don't live that near us so my direct input is limited to the weekends they come to stay (which we attempt to do once a month).

Been shopping, we are now armed with a variety of pads and a starter pack from lillets which has a few of everything and a little bag which she can use for school. We were in the feminine hygiene aisle for quite some time smile

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