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Hyperactivity label? [titled edited by MNHQ]

(328 Posts)
Flojobunny Wed 24-Jul-13 11:43:39

Health visitor wants to refer DD (4 yo) for hyperactivity assessment. What is it with health care professionals trying to stick kids in to boxes.
Yes she's always on the go, yes she doesn't sleep but she's my DD and that is that. No good can come of being labelled surely.

MammaTJ Wed 24-Jul-13 12:05:11

Good for you if you can actually cope with the on the go 24/7. I can't. A 'label' as you call it, or a diagnosis as I prefer to call it would be incerdibly helpful, in that it would be acknowledged that I am not a crap mother, my DD does have ADHD and maybe, just maybe, she would get treatment and I might get help.

Carry on though.

Branleuse Wed 24-Jul-13 12:08:02

what is it about a diagnosis that specifically worries you.

do you think it will make her 'not your dd' anymore?

Im confused??

Do you think of a diagnosis as an insult?

NotYoMomma Wed 24-Jul-13 12:08:21

if it gets her help and support in school later down the line and means that you won't have to fight 'quite' so hard then I see that as good.

its not about labels

cardibach Wed 24-Jul-13 12:09:06

Yes, MammaTJ is right - it is a diagnosis not a label, and means that there is a possibility of extra support and/or medication to mitigate the effects of the disorder. I think that could be classified as good, don't you?
And as for "she's my DD and that is that" - What? So people who try to get diagnoses for their children so that they can be helped are bad parents because they don't accept them as they are? DO you want to think about that for a minute?

noisytoys Wed 24-Jul-13 12:09:38

The 'label' will be useful for when she starts school and your bouncy, lively, non stop little girl can't sit still and follow instructions. At least then she will have a valid reason

SaucyJack Wed 24-Jul-13 12:10:17

Is she at school? A "pointless" label might make the difference between failing miserably at school and an education that sets her up for life.

Plus, it'll save her from the many MH problems and mis diagnoses that undiagnosed ADHD adults experiences when they are unable to cope with normal life.

ouryve Wed 24-Jul-13 12:11:04

He will be labelled whether you like it or not. Most people would chose "naughty" or "undisciplined." He can be assessed to see if he has a problem that comes from within, or from external sources, so that steps can be taken to help him, or you can bury your head in the sand, scream hysterically about "labels" and then come on AIBU and have a moan when people are criticising your parenting and not inviting your child on playdates because he can't sit still and ruins other children's games.

It's your choice, but I know which is kindest for your child.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 24-Jul-13 12:11:18

Help can come from it.

Not having the diagnosis doesn't mean the behaviours go away, it just means the child doesn't have access to all the resources that could actually make a difference in their life, so I suppose you have to ask yourself if your child would feel (since its their life and their future) that it was worth it to them to sacrifice assistance that could have addressed challenging behaviours in order to avoid a diagnosis.

ouryve Wed 24-Jul-13 12:11:59

sorry - she. Need lunch.

PhoenixUprising Wed 24-Jul-13 12:14:27

Yes, I agree. A label can make all the difference in the world.

Nobody's going to force her to take medication, if that's what you're worried about.

But, if it turns out she can't cope at school and you want to help her a label will help you research your options.

And there are loads and loads and loads of options to help a child with ADHD. Medication is normally a last resort. Often people start with diet and supplements.

School will not be able to cope with a child who is active 24/7. And things will start to go downhill pretty quickly if you don't try to help her.

Of course, the paed may decide she doesn't have ADHD.

Normally they'll want to see her twice, six months apart. So nothing's going to happen quickly.

Oh, and you don't need to tell anyone the label if you don't want to. It's not going to be written on her forehead.

WhirlyByrd Wed 24-Jul-13 12:17:45

My boy has ASD. I didn't want him labelled at first, either. Mainly because I was scared of admitting that there was a problem to deal with. Now I'm glad we have the label. He has the help he needs plus help at school. It's up to you whether you go for the referral, but believe me, if they offer it early it's best to go for it - gives you chance to have things in place before she goes to school. Once they get to school, if problems continue, it can be some time before you get a diagnosis or help. If you go and see the specialist and they say everything's OK then it will put your mind at rest. If not, then your DD gets help if and when she needs it.Win win.

FrussoHathor Wed 24-Jul-13 12:17:56

The label/diagnosis can be useful in order to get the help that you need. Often help is not forthcoming without a diagnosis.

It can help at school, where extra help can be given rather than your dd being labeled as "the naughty child,"
it can give you the power to say "there is a reason for this behaviour, she is not naughty"

Your dd will still be your dd. no diagnosis will change her. But it can change people's attitudes towards her and make them more understanding.

A referral does not mean that you will get a diagnosis.

Flojobunny Wed 24-Jul-13 12:20:44

Ummm but do they actually get extra support or does the label actually mean they get pulled down further from a lack of expectation?
As for the medication, don't get me started on that. I am sure there are plenty of children that required medication to stay safe etc don't get me wrong but flattening my daughters mood just because she's a bit lively makes me feel sick at the thought.
I am just totally fed up of health care professionals always wanting to slap labels on things rather than seeing the individual.

tabulahrasa Wed 24-Jul-13 12:21:13

It's not a label, it's a medical diagnosis that there is a behavioural issue outwith what would be expected of a child of that age.

It's a way of accessing support if needed at school or at home, it's a shorthand to be able to tell other people involved in care of a child exactly what sort of support might be needed and it gives a child a reason for the differences they notice in themselves as they get older and start noticing their peers more.

PhoenixUprising Wed 24-Jul-13 12:21:54

Also, In my county it's harder to get a dx for ADHD once you're over 5.

Before 5 you're referred to the child development paed. After 5 you're referred to CAMHS.

And you're def better off being referred to the paedetrician.

If she doesn't get a label of ADHD - but has it - she will be labelled 'the naughty child, with the bad parents who are too lenient on her'

Flojobunny Wed 24-Jul-13 12:23:49

I've refused the assessment and said let's give her a couple of years at school first. Nursery staff say there no way she's hyperactivity just lively.

PhoenixUprising Wed 24-Jul-13 12:24:32

They don't have a lack of expectation because of the label - they have a lack of expectation because the child can't sit still and learn.

She may or may not get support. ADHD is very hard to deal with in a school setting. Mostly it'll be up to you to find out what calms her down enough so that she can learn in school.

But she almost certainly will get some level of understanding.

What do you think the teacher is going to think of her in Sep?

How do you think the teacher will deal with her and 29 other children?

PhoenixUprising Wed 24-Jul-13 12:25:53

Good luck with school.

insanityscratching Wed 24-Jul-13 12:26:51

It's a diagnosis and not a label and will mean that the school will be required to make reasonable adjustments to meet your child's needs. Of course even with or without a diagnosis your dd will probably still get a label usually from her classmates' parents along the lines of naughty, brat, disruptive. I know which one I'd prefer.

NotYoMomma Wed 24-Jul-13 12:26:53

I have 2 nephews

1 had a adhd diagnosis since early on - got all the help in the world, got a place on a special secondry and made such good progress he took his science gcse at mainstream.

his brother had adhd but less severely and it was not diagnosed. they didnt think it was because he wad not at the same extremes as his brother. his mum had to fight every step of the way to no avail. he did worse at primary than his brother but no place at the special school without a diagnosis.

after more battles he did get a diagnosis and wad given some medication. his reading and literacy came on so much in his last year of primary even his teacher was crying.

he is still not going to the special school though ad he came on so well it is not deemed necessary for him.

it has truely been amazing

so YABU

Pink01 Wed 24-Jul-13 12:28:32

To be fair, I work with children with SEN and we do see them all as individuals. But part of that individuality can be a diagnosis, that doesn't detract from them as a person, it is part of them just the same as being left handed is part of my DS (as a poor example) We cherish them all.

I'm sorry this is painful for you. Do you have much RL support?

FrussoHathor Wed 24-Jul-13 12:29:55

My dd has a label of asd, without it we wouldn't have access to funding, a statement of sen, she wouldn't have made progress at school, she probably wouldn't be in school, she wouldn't have friends, she wouldn't have a ya who encourages interactions, or a teacher who encourages the other children to understand her.
The expectations for her to do well academically are still there, they are perhaps higher than otherwise, they cannot allow her to fail, and push her to meet expectations and academic milestones.
With the diagnosis they can adapt to meet her needs. And rather than getting her to conform to a world she simply can't conform to.
She is still very much an individual. She is now an individual who is understood and catered for and loved for who she is rather than an isolated naughty individual.

SusanneLinder Wed 24-Jul-13 12:30:36

My DD has Aspergers, so she is in that "little box" as you describe. She is still my DD. It;s a sinpost not a labelhmm

SusanneLinder Wed 24-Jul-13 12:30:51

signpost

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