When should I stop dd (9) from eating???

[MrsBigD]

Haven't been on here for a while and boy has the site changed LOL

Anyhow, I'm not sure whether this is the right area but here we go...

DD (9) has started to 'develop' since she has had her tonsils out last year and with this seems to have come an abundant appetite and rather swiftly developing 'curves' and padding.

Obviously I know that it's not good to say 'stop eating now you're getting fat' as there are enough anorexic 9-10 year olds out there, but I was overweight as a child and don't want dd heading the same way, especially as she's already getting enough stick at school for being an early developer (I'll be doing another thread on that one) so really don't want a body weight issue to add to that... also dh and I are making a concerted effort to loose our excess baggage to lead by example, though that doesn't seem to really work with her ;).

So I have chats with her along the lines of 'it's ok to have treats etc. in moderation but if you eat too many of them they are not good for you'. However, that isn't quite getting through and I just had another head banging with her just now as she insists she's STARVING after a rather substantial breakfast about 1.5h ago - a small bowl of rice & chicken leftovers from last night, 2 small yoghurts and then I caught her eating a freddo frog that ds 6 had absconded with and given toher... (note to self, put all that stuff even 1 shelf higher, he's grown!!!). So I said she can have a banana or an apple and a glass of milk right now which resulted in quite some attitude and 'fine'...

I dont' want food to become an issue and am offering healthy choices with the unhealth choices in the pantry not being re-stocked once gone, but I'm not sure when to stop her eating... another problem is portion size. I say '1 pancake is a snack, 3 is a meal' and she wholeheartedly disagrees LOL

Sorry for rambling, not sure if that makes sense to anybody but me... thanks for any advice :)

[Lynli]

I try to keep the food healthy, just a few treats, don't buy any more and he can't eat them.

I have found not restricting food, and greatly increasing the exercise has been very effective for my DS who puts on weight easily.

I try not to get involved in discussions about food, just keep him busy.

[MrsBigD]

Thanks Lynli,

Am trying to keep both DD and DS busy but it's wearing me out. Trying to coax DD into joining the schools running club but she's in the mindset of 'I'm not a good runner so what's the point' as opposed to my take 'if you practice you get better' :) Looking at ballet and gymnastics but all the 'organised' activities get a bit expensive all adding up.

DS actually stops eating when I think he's had enough or will just stuff his face with apples/pears etc ;) but DD is would eat the cart with the horse LOL

[GrimmaTheNome]

Makes sense to me - my DD is plump and it is very hard to manage sensitively.

However, there are far more overweight children around than anorexics. DH told me the other day that a colleagues 14 year old has developed type II diabetes.

Stick to your guns - if she doesn't want the healthy snack, she's not starving. As to portion size, we've had some success with DD by getting kids ready meals for when she gets home from school genuinely hungry and can't wait to have dinner later with us.

Another thing that helped stave DD off snacks was getting low-calorie drinks she liked - esp sainsbury's fizzy lemonade (no aspartame). Her friends see this as a treat so its not quite so obvious that we're not doling out biscuits and crisps. If she has friends to tea I make sure theres nice fruit for afters - strawberries or a big plate of mango, kiwi etc sliced up.

[MrsBigD]

Thanks Grimma & Maryz

I stopped buying white bread ages ago much to dd's dismay but now she's getting used to wholemeal/wholegrain.

Good to know about the apple juice, though we usually only have some for dinner.

A bit 'scared' about own choices with dd as she'd just work her way through the fridge LOL

I have started 'no treats in lunchbox' with Friday being the exception when they get a little something. so guessing I'm on the right track and just have to slowly adjust the rest.

Have been thinking about instigating set meal times for after school, i.e. healthy snack when we get home around 15:30ish and then nothing till dinner.

[MrsBigD]

Thanks maryz,

no she's not hugely obese, just a bit plump. I think I'm probably slightly overreacting because I'm used to her being a lightweight stick insect who I couldn't get to eat so was happy for anything she would eat. After her tonsils came out she started eating lots (balanced diet but with some junk thrown in) and I was thrilled... but now of course I don't want her to go the other way, but to keep her stable so she can 'grow it out' :).

Will give the dinner at school return a try :) Today I gave them their proper dinner at 17:00 as dh won't be back for a while anyhow and then offered a light healthy snack before bedtime and that went down semi-well (though ds was lamenting it was grapes not chocolate chip cookies .

[ragged]

Eat slow and long... that was a motto in my dad's family. Making sure that most food was a relaxed affair, not snacks grabbed on the fly.

[MuGGGhoulWump]

I've posted a similar thread recently.
DD is starting puberty and ballooned round the middle.
In the space of about three weeks the difference was astonishing.
I panicked and posted, but the difference following was also astonishing, in the upward growth!

I have stopped buying any junk.
No biscuits or crisps in the house.
Meals are balanced, but mainly smallish portions of protein and carbs with tons of veg.

Weekends are different.
Takeaways are allowed, cakes and crisps are allowed.
Crisps bought as a single packet, same with biscuits/cookies/cakes.
No multipacks lying around.

DD hasn't noticed or complained.

I don't want her to lose weight, I don't think she needs to, I just want her to grow into her new body.

I've seen other threads about this recently, perhaps we could have one with us who have girls this age?

[Ingles2]

I really think you should be encouraging her to take more exercise then the food won't be an issue and it doesn't have to be paid for activities.
I have a 10yr old ds who tends towards plump when not active. Needing to get fit myself, we started running together with our dog. We now run about 15miles a week and it's quality time that we spend together. We can even talk as we run now

[MuGGGhoulWump]

Ingles, DD is very active in the warmer months, as she plays out.
She can't in the colder months and I can't afford sports activities.
I'm also severely asthmatic so can't take her myself.

That's not to say she's slovenly, but it is tricky with kids of this age and getting her more active isn't possible right now.

[misspollysdolly]

I would really value a thread for pre-teen girls too. I posted about DD's growing girth about a year ago and to be honest she is still really quite full around the middle. She is more aware of it and I have to be so careful not to make an issue out of it at the wrong time and to sensitively make an issue of it when it is appropriate. She has just turned 11 and is entirely the right size in her arms, legs and face, but her bottom, waist and tummy are really really full. Finding trousers to fit is a nightmare and becomes a bit upsetting for her - needing lots of support from me.

She does not overeat, does not sneak food, has three healthy meals and two snacks a day, would go mad for cake and chocolate if allowed but does not have much opportunity. We have sweets once week on a Friday and pudding on Sundays - the rest of the week it's fruit or yogurt for dessert only. Veg is a battleground, but I don't compensate by giving her more of anything else (protein or carbs, I mean). I just don't know what else to do - except that she could definitely do more exercise (only does school based PE etc) - oh to have an extra day in the week - am really loathed to start adding in swimming lessons or similar as our week is already busy and tiring.

I am big, and sometimes I do worry that she will have a life ahead of her of struggling against who she is and what her body is like - with girls you have to be so careful what you say and how you say it! I am really hoping that with puberty she grows upwards, not outwards. BUT I love her how she is, and this, ultimately is what matters. It is an exciting time watching her develop into a young woman and I think she is beautiful . MPD

(P.S. How are you doing Mugggle?! Long time, no see - hope you are well...)

[misspollysdolly]

Just to clarify - that should be a thread for PARENTS WITH pre-teen girls....

[Ingles2]

Really MuGGGhoulWump?
Is that truly the case? Cos at our school they are still offering netball/crosscountry/cricket/running/football atm after school, for free and it's just an ordinary state junior.

[MuGGGhoulWump]

MPD, just been diagnosed with brittle asthma and just managed to keep myself out of hospital.

Thread here

[MuGGGhoulWump]

Ingles, DD isn't interested in organised sport, I pushed encouraged her, but she doesn't want to.
I couldn't even get her to join the choir.

I don't think it's a weight issue as such, I really don't.
I think it's girls hitting puberty and growing suddenly, and sometimes alarmingly.

It is so quick.

[HeadlessLadyBiscuit]

I went through this - didn't some of you? Was a right podge at about 9-10 (as were my sisters) and then got skinny minnies once our bodies caught up. I think it's quite common (although developing healthy eating habits is obviously a great idea).

[MrsBigD]

Thanks for all the replies. Good to hear I'm not alone with my worries :)

HeadlessLadyBiscuit yup I sort of went through this, however when I hit puberty I went from growing up to growing wide, hence my concern with dd :) Though I was a terrible comfort overeater.

Could somebody give me a hint on how to get to set mealtimes at the weekend without the kids going mental attitude? I only tend to eat when I'm hungry and find set mealtimes a problem myself... Thankfully during the week mealtimes are regulated by breakfast, school recess/lunch, pick-up time (when I usually bring carrot sticks, chopped apple and rice cakes as the kids like tos tay and play after school) and dinner.

Also just started studying nutrition so meals will get even more balanced when I 'expriment' LOL. I do know my kids are carboholics, just like I used to be until my
Personal Trainer severely told me off