Am I being a pushy mother encouraging my DD to read too early?

[Westers]

I would welcome people's advice, and especially any teachers out there, on whether I should be starting reading with my DD.

She's 2 year 8 months and has always been quite advanced with her language (please don't think I just imagine all my children are just amazingly talented. My DS is gorgeous but I don't think he's advanced, he's clearly very different from her - so it's not just blind adoration!)

She has been showing interest in the different letters and words for a while, so we have gently, gently looked at abc books etc - maybe twice a week or whenever she wanted to. She's known the alphabet pretty well for at least six months now, so I decided to order some Jolly Phonics books and a DVD to see if she took to it.

She has; we've had it about a month now and she can now read easy words like 'cat', 'log' 'tin' etc without any help from me and is now doing more difficult ones too - 'frog' 'shop'.

The problem is my MIL. She is a retired primary school teacher and she clearly does not approve. I suspect she thinks I am going to teach DD wrong and that will make things difficult later. I don't know this but she's a very difficult woman and if I raised the subject there would be huffs and puffs and I can't face it. I should probably admit also that I don't like taking advice from her as it always seems to be a chance for her to get at me.

IMO if I am going at DD's pace and using the Jolly Phonics books then I think it's OK. I speak a few languages so I think I kind of have an idea abour learning language, albeit from an adult point of view.

What do you think? Am I encouraging her too early? Should I leave it to the experts/teachers when she starts school?

[sethstarkaddersmackerel]

go with the flow, if she wants to do it, fine.

tbh if she wants to do it before she's 3 you'd probably have a hard time stopping her doing it at all before she starts school so you might as well do it now if you think she's ready.

as long as you don't beat her and threaten to burn her soft toys if she gets a word wrong.

[bulby]

I'm glad someone started this thread because my dd is similar. I was determined not to teach har but she wants to know what this word is or that one and has organically learned letter sounds, my feeling is that it will do more harm to prevent her learning. I think I'm just paranoid that people will think I'm pushy and hearing that this is normal makes me' feel better

[toddlerama]

Follow her cues. You'd be mad to hold her back from something she enjoys for the benefit of MIL. If it wasn't reading, but fingerpainting she enjoyed and was good at, this wouldn't be an issue!

[MrsAlanKey]

I would carry on as you are but be prepared for criticism. Its difficult when they want to do something that is verging on socially unacceptable because everyone thinks its something external being pushed on them rather than something child led (for want of a better phrase). I get no end of snidey remarks about my dd who is obsessed interested in fashion that I never got when ds was interested in Thomas the bastard tank engine.

[princessglitter]

my dd is the same. She started reading cvc words at 2.7 and is 3 now. We use starfall a lot for the phonics based stories on there.

[Westers]

OK, thanks to all, feels a bit better.

Should have asked this first time wrong, but have any of you used any books that give the parent advice on how to introduce reading/phonics in the right way? At the moment I am just feeling my way from the children's books.

Will check out starfall, thanks princessglitter. What's cvc though?

[princessglitter]

consonant vowel consonant
Also have older dd who learnt to read before school-she is doing brilliantly now in reception and works with y1 for reading, so it didn't do her any harm.

[pointythings]

I agree with princessglitter - my DDs did phonics in nursery from the age of about 3 - it was done very playfully and no-one was forced to do it. They could both read simple words by the time they started Reception.

They're now 8 and 10 and operating 2 to 3 years ahead of their age group average and their teachers have had no trouble with this at all.

[FreudianSlippery]

Cat, log and tin are all cvc
Frog and shop are ccvc :)

Blimey though, that's impressive reading them already! Apparently I read really early but no idea how it happened, mum didn't know about phonics.

If she wants to do it, then do it, sounds great!

I have a slightly different problem - my DD (3.7) really wants to learn to read. She's now caught up with her peers as her speech sounds were delayed (dat instead of cat, etc) and she's had letter recognition since really early. She's starting to get the sounds but finds it really difficult to distinguish between beginning sounds and end sounds, and blending.

Obviously in itself this is not a problem, she's only little and DH and I had agreed to hold off until school, but she really wants to do it! It's not due to any pressure or criticism, she just loves books and is desperate to be able to read new ones, as opposed to just reciting/using picture cues for favourite stories.

any ideas?

[Westers]

Hmmm.

That's interesting FreudianSlippery. I had also noticed that DD not so good on words that she finds more difficult to pronounce - differentiating 'th' from 'v' for instance.

Obviously I'm no expert (or else wouldn't have posted in the first place) but I wonder whether a reading aid that combines sound and letters would help.

We've got this, which is great and deals with sounds at the beginning, middle and end of words:
www.amazon.co.uk/Fun-Phonics-Letters-Sounds-Watch/dp/1406644862/ref=sr_1_cc_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1297260836&sr=1-3-catcorr&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

Apologies if you've got/thought of already!

[granC]

I have followed this discussion with interest. My ds of nearly 4 is really wanting to learn to read, but is too impatient to sound out words as he wants to get the story quickly - any suggestions for what we should do so as not to discourage this eagerness to learn?

[FreudianSlippery]

Link didn't work, what's the name of the product please as I can search it :)

Obviously I'm very much in early stages, DDs preschool are doing letter of the week, they just started with s. We've had resources for a while - jolly phonics stuff, letter magnets etc. I am thinking now is the time to be a bit more structured but my sensible inner self says noooooo! She's still little.

But this need of hers to Learn More Stuff has coincided with her getting bored much more easily at home, and then playing up. I think she's got used to being busy at preschool and is expecting the same at home. Eeeeeek!

[earwicga]

Mine were already reading at that age. Started with letters on SMA lids. Then went onto Ladybird Janet & John and flash cards. They entered the world of books years before their peers and has enabled them in life in so many ways.

[earwicga]

Lordy, just read back my comment and it sounds so precocious. I'm not really, just taught my kids at that age as they were interested. Didn't teach them how to write though so not a dragon mother really.