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Is it right for Mother to charge her son £300 p/m for child care -she is a f/t childminder

(79 Posts)
ImNotAMumSoWhatDoIKnow Sun 28-Apr-13 10:41:15

My friend is 7 months pregnant. her Mother-in-law is a full time child minder.

Is it fair/acceptable for Grandma to charge her son & daughter-in-law £300 p/m for 9-5pm child care?

Be really interested in yr thoughts on this as I can't commit to an opinion!

Thanks ladies.

Bumply Sun 28-Apr-13 10:50:47

Yes if it's her job!
Otherwise the grandma will be taking a big drop in potential salary by not being to take on max number of paid for children.

Bumply Sun 28-Apr-13 10:52:25

And I'd assume £300 is pretty good for a discounted price

Trill Sun 28-Apr-13 10:52:33

It sounds to me like she is giving them a discount, so why would that not be acceptable?

She is giving up her potential income for them (because there are limits to how many children you can look after she she could be looking after someone how paid the full amount).

Don't think of it as her charging them, think of it as giving them a montly gift of the price difference between £300 and the full price.

mrsthomsontobe Sun 28-Apr-13 10:54:11

Yes I don't see y not, baby is taking up a full time paying space . So although she would prob love to watch grandchild for nothing she prob can't afford to. 300 a month for full time care is a lot less than she ll be charging the rest of parents. Most will prob cover expenses of food groups etc so prob very little profit.

DawnOfTheDee Sun 28-Apr-13 10:54:24

Sounds fair enough to it 9 to 5 monday to friday? If so it seems they're getting a big discount on it.

As other posters have said her gc will be taking up a spot that she could otherwise charge for.

tethersend Sun 28-Apr-13 10:55:09

That's less than I paid my mum to look after DD1 for three days when I went back to work.

DawnOfTheDee Sun 28-Apr-13 10:55:33

Is this really a friend or are you the mum-to-be or grandma?

<nosey face>

Gingerbreadlatte Sun 28-Apr-13 10:55:36

That's an excellent price per month for for ft childcare.

Ft nursery can be around 900 to 1100 depend on where you live!!

NickNacks Sun 28-Apr-13 10:56:59

Absolutely, I will be caring for my nephew and not be offering such a generous discount.

Panzee Sun 28-Apr-13 10:57:16

What's your dilemma? Do you think she should charge more or less? You don't think it should be free do you?

CrazyOldCatLady Sun 28-Apr-13 10:57:17

That's very, very cheap if it's fulltime. They should be very grateful.

nannynick Sun 28-Apr-13 10:57:39

Yes, she is running a business. She could care for an unrelated child and probably be paid more. So it does sound like a discounted place.

Some grandparents may well provide free childcare but that is only possible if it suits them to do that. 9-5 mon-fri is a big commitment, so not sure how many grandparents would offer that.

KatyMac Sun 28-Apr-13 10:58:04

I'd charge £750 - so she is giving them about £400 a month & childcare they 'should' be able to trust

Cloverer Sun 28-Apr-13 10:58:41

£300 a month sounds like a massive discount - lucky them!

Jinsei Sun 28-Apr-13 10:59:49

Sounds very reasonable to me!

That's cheap!

ParmaViolette Sun 28-Apr-13 11:01:02

I get that she runs a business, and a place that she could get full price for will be taken up- but I still think it's weird to charge.

The grandparents in my family want to look after their grandchildren, for the quality time and also to relieve their children of the burden of paying for extortionate childcare confused

A grandparent that doesn't want to do that is a strange one to me- but all families are different!

letseatgrandma Sun 28-Apr-13 11:01:14

What would the child minder charge non-family members for those exact same hours?

The difference will be their discount smile

I wouldn't expect her to be doing it free; if she is of grandparent agr and it still working, she needs the money-this is her JOB. Many grandmas don't work (because they are comfortably retired) and may not need the money to live on-that doesn't sound like the case here. If your friend had two children, would she expect them both to be looked after? At no charge?!

I feel rather sorry for the mil here.

peggyblackett Sun 28-Apr-13 11:02:15

Are you the MIL OP?

peggyblackett Sun 28-Apr-13 11:03:09

Oh and no, I don't think the MIL is BU at all.

Sounds like a very good price to me! I pay £700 a month for 4 days nursery! In your scenario MIL is working as a childminder so in taking her grandchild is not able to take on a paying customer. Sounds like she has discounted her rate massively your friend should be grateful!

Twinklestarstwinklestars Sun 28-Apr-13 11:05:04

I'm a cm and think that's super cheap! About half what I would charge for that. I have cared for my niece and did it cheap but won't be doing it again as it still cost me as much as the others to feed her etc so I ended up making a loss and its my income at the end of the day.

usualsuspect Sun 28-Apr-13 11:05:30

I didn't charge my dd anything for childcare but I can understand why the mil in this situation would charge.

Jinsei Sun 28-Apr-13 11:07:12

Parma, my parents love looking after dd too, and wouldn't dream of charging us. But this is different. Childcare is the MIL's job, and she will lose income if she doesn't charge.

Would you expect a WOH grandparent to quit their job/reduce their hours to look after their grandchildren and to relieve their children of the burden of paying for childcare? What if they needed the money to get by?

onedev Sun 28-Apr-13 11:07:23

She needs to earn a living & if that's full time, it's a massive discount, so sounds fine to me.

ClaraOswald Sun 28-Apr-13 11:07:49

Of course it's fair. If she didn't, then she wouldn't be able to have as many children, thus a drop in income.

expatinscotland Sun 28-Apr-13 11:09:38

YES! They're getting off cheap. Doesn't matter how much she wants to look after this child, she obviously can't do it for free as she's running a business and having to work FT, so she's giving a discount.

Nicolaeus Sun 28-Apr-13 11:11:06

We pay my parents what we would pay a full time nanny (tho they do do extra stuff a nanny wouldn't do like my ironing! smile )

I would feel bad not paying-my mum took early retirement to look after DS. This way everyone wins - they get money for rent/bills and we get two fantastic people looking after DS, guilt-free.

Plus, I can say what I do and don't want DS doing/eating etc and they're not just doing us a favour.

Delayingtactic Sun 28-Apr-13 11:11:19

I'm interested what you think about this OP? I can't work out if you're shocked that she's charging at all or that's she's only charging so little.

She is in actual fact giving her DIL hundreds of pounds every month. It's incredibly generous

ParmaViolette Sun 28-Apr-13 11:11:38

My grandparents did for me Jinsei so my mum who had me as a young single parent could further her career and do a uni course

But I understand, my situation is a rarity!

Cloverer Sun 28-Apr-13 11:16:45

I wouldn't expect my parents to give up work to provide childcare or to pay for childcare for me - they aren't rich and they need their money, especially as they are nearing retirement.

olivo Sun 28-Apr-13 11:19:42

Wow, it is most definitely right,cut is a very good discounted rate. I would have bitten off GM's hand if she had offered us this, rather than the £1200 PCM we had to pay!!

WTFisABooyhooISBooyhoo Sun 28-Apr-13 11:20:52

oh looky, we have another entitled git expecting free childcare from their parents. hmm

1) yes it's right. she is a CMer. if she looks after her grandchild f/t then she loses out on the income of another paying f/t child

2) £300pcm for FULL TIME childcare is a fucking gift! be grateful she's not charging full whack as she sure as hell could make more than that for those hours.

ClaraOswald Sun 28-Apr-13 11:21:43

Parma- was your grandmother a childminder? or just your grandma?

WTFisABooyhooISBooyhoo Sun 28-Apr-13 11:25:46

just as a reference my CMer would charge £200 PER WEEK for those hours. standard rate round here (not london)

also, would the hours be 9-5 or is that the parents' work hours and drop off would be a half hour (or more) either side of the 9-5?

WTFisABooyhooISBooyhoo Sun 28-Apr-13 11:27:53

"She is in actual fact giving her DIL hundreds of pounds every month. It's incredibly generous"

her SON and DIL. the child isn't just DIL's.

pickledginger Sun 28-Apr-13 11:27:53

Yes! She's a professional childminder - that's her job! She will be giving up more than that to take on her grandchild because that's a big discount and they'll take up the place of another child that would pay full price.

pickledginger Sun 28-Apr-13 11:30:26

9-5 professional child care for under £75 a week. And you 'can't commit to an opinion'?????

DaffodilAdams Sun 28-Apr-13 11:30:57

That is less than £15 per day if you are talking 5 days a week childcare. That is massively cheap, less than a third of what we pay per day. So more than reasonable. And they should pay. It is this woman's profession.

LIZS Sun 28-Apr-13 11:30:58

Baby takes up a space which would be chargeable at least twice the price . Most GP's do for free only because they are not registered or needing the income from a cm business and have no other charges.

hermioneweasley Sun 28-Apr-13 11:33:22

Do you think working grandparents should give up their jobs and income to provide unpaid Childcare? Because that's what you're suggesting.

cece Sun 28-Apr-13 11:34:28

Sounds like a bargain to me. I pay more than that per month and I only work 1 and half days per week! (2 children in childcare but one at school so only before and after schoo for 1 and all day at cm for the other))

Geordieminx Sun 28-Apr-13 11:35:39

It's tricky isn't it?

My mum doesn't work, so if she had been local (she lives 150 miles away) I know age would have loved to have my ds full time,

On the other hand this lady is a childminder..she probably charges 800-900 per month for a place so she is making a big loss. £300 is £15 a day... That probably just covers food/registration charges and activities. She certainly won't be making anything..

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Sun 28-Apr-13 11:35:40

Yes, it is very reasonable of her.

MrsDeVere Sun 28-Apr-13 11:39:09

Bloody hell
Sweet deal!

I am assuming the couple may be able to claim CTC for that too?

HorribleHaircut Sun 28-Apr-13 11:40:34

yes it's fair

who thinks it's unfair - the son, the dil? who are you in this scenario, OP?

Yes, perfectly fair and very generous. Even at £300 a month the grandmother will be giving up a lot of potential income.

ImNotAMumSoWhatDoIKnow Sun 28-Apr-13 11:58:23

This is by far the truest reply out of the many received so quickly! Thank you all so much! Knew this was a contentious issue as I too think the cost of child care in the UK is staggering and way more than it should be.

And yes I happen to think my friend is getting a deal (and a half!) but as all my friends are child free, the cost is not truly appreciated by them yet!

The idea that the Mother is 'giving' the son & daughter-in-law thousands of pounds by only charging £300 p/m is as close to a Utopian answer as I will get!

Committed to my original opinion now, thanks again to all who took time to reply =D &sorry to all who's tempers flared at such a 'newbie' question!

WTFisABooyhooISBooyhoo Sun 28-Apr-13 12:11:52

so OP are you the grandmother or just a friend and what happens now you have your answer?

MaryPoppinsBag Sun 28-Apr-13 12:13:46

What should Childcare cost though? And how do you propose to reduce the cost?
Do you cut quality?
Do you cut wages - most nursery workers earn close to the minimum wage!

It costs what it does because people have to earn a living from it. And it is a responsible and important job.

ParmaViolette Sun 28-Apr-13 12:24:20

Clara she was a checkout worker- who cut down her hours, and my granddad changed his shift patterns.

My situation is rare- helping out is the done thing in my family as we all live close. My mum now she is on a good wage contributes to my nan (DFG died a few years ago) bills and takes her out and about to thank her for all she did.

But that's why I have a warped view on this topic!

Trill Sun 28-Apr-13 12:24:33

I think the OP is a friend of the family in question, and has heard people in RL expressing opinions like you shouldn't charge family anything so wondered what other people thought.

WTFisABooyhooISBooyhoo Sun 28-Apr-13 12:29:37

"My situation is rare- helping out is the done thing in my family "

not rare. familes all over the world help each other out where possible. unfortunately the way things are especially now lots of grandparents still very much need their whole wage and cant afford to take a cut to be free childcare. that doesn't mean they dont want to, just that they physically couldn't survive with a pay cut.

MortifiedAdams Sun 28-Apr-13 12:31:04

Yes it is acceptable.

My DM is a FT CM and I pay her £200 pcm. Whilst DD doesnt go there for forty hours a week, I work shifts, so she could go any time up to forty hours on any of the five days. DD gets three.meals a day there (if there all day), plus snacks, drinks, toddler groups and other trips.out.

It is astoundingly good value, and I would have paidmore but DM didnt even want to take the £200.

Im taking up a full I want to pay my way.

mummytime Sun 28-Apr-13 12:31:28

The only ways child care in the UK could be cheaper are: a) even more massively than present, underpay the workers; b) have far worse child -adult ratios; c) for the government to massively subsidise.

Rents in the UK are high, which adds to costs too.

Trill Sun 28-Apr-13 12:31:32

"My situation is rare- helping out is the done thing in my family "

This is helping out. The grandmother is giving up a significant amount of earnings in order to help her son.

expatinscotland Sun 28-Apr-13 12:53:10

She's helping out big time by charging only £300/month for a FT place. She has bills to pay, too.

Delayingtactic Sun 28-Apr-13 14:04:29

If my mom did this, she would in effect be giving us close to £700 per month. That is helping out by anyone's standard. I feel a bit sorry for the MIL if people think she is being mean by charging a token amount.

My parents help out loads, even using annual leave for my DS on occasion. But they just couldn't afford to give up that amount of money per month.

heronsfly Sun 28-Apr-13 14:08:55

I think its fair, I'm thinking of giving up 2 days work a week to look after one of my dgc and his parents are going to pay me what i am losing out,I would never expect paying for babysitting if they go out etc, but this will be a job to me.

nenevomito Sun 28-Apr-13 14:12:09

I pay my parents for childcare and its not even their business. It costs money to look after a child and using parents as unpaid labour is unfair.

MaryPoppinsBag Sun 28-Apr-13 14:23:16

I'm a CM and used to look after my nephew one day a week. My DSis has had another baby and I cannot offer to have them both for nothing now my business is kicking off.
My youngest nephew would take up a valuable under 1 space and the eldest (2.5) would take another EYFS space.

I'm not being mean I am running a business. I wouldn't dream of asking her to give up work to look after my children!

I wouldn't dream of asking anyone to look after my children full time for nothing. Looking after little ones is hard work! Why do people feel entitled to this service from grandparents?

When I had my first MIL and DM offered to have DS1, and looked after him for one day a week each 8.20am- 4pm. It was such a privilege. But that's all it was not expected or guaranteed. When my Mum withdrew the offer when I was expecting I was hmm but because I thought she enjoyed it (and I was hormonal) I think she did enjoy it but would've found two too much.

Now I prefer my children to go to their grandparents to be enjoyed rather than looked after. And that's why I set up my CM business so I am not reliant on anyone.

I think the person you are talking about is very lucky to have a grandparent looking after her child. Even if it costs £300!

Blondeshavemorefun Sun 28-Apr-13 18:30:43

300pm is amazing-many would pay 300 per week for those hours

the granny has a business and by charging about a 1/4 of what she could earn is very considerate to her daughter and taking a huge loss in what she could earn if charging full rates

grandparents shouldnt be obliged or expected to look after their grandchildren

Borntobeamum Sun 28-Apr-13 20:13:55

I'm a cm and I look after my Gs.
I do charge my DD, though a lesser rate.
I also don't charge if he's off at all ie ill or on holiday.
I follow the EYFS and am doing the 2 year development check, just as I would on any other child.

ReetPetit Sun 28-Apr-13 22:00:35

have no idea if this is really about your friend - but - if you are the one who is getting the f/t childcare for £300, thank your lucky stars for your amazing mother! and if you are the mother who is providing the childcare, wow, you are very generous. Even though it is your grandchild, you are still providing a full time space for probably 1/3 of it's worth...

And if it is really a friend, tell her she is getting an amazingly good deal and to make sure she shows her mum how grateful she is.

Another point, this mother can still claim tax credits/childcare vouchers can't she, even though it's a grandparent providing care because the grandparent is registered? in which case she's getting basically free f/t childcare!!

mumtolilh Sun 28-Apr-13 22:11:57

That's cheap for full time!!!
I would do it but my mil is a b** so I wouldn't even let her do it for free so lucky them!!! lol
As long as bubba is in good care that is ;)

anewyear Mon 29-Apr-13 11:02:44

ImNotAMumSoWhatDoIKnow "quote, child care in the UK is staggering and way more than it should be"

I love remarks like this, nobody ever actually steps up and says how much they think childminders should charge.

So come on then, what do you lot out there, who think childminders charge too much, how much do you think we should charge then?

mummytime Mon 29-Apr-13 11:39:27

anewyear I don't want you to charge less! Well unless the government subsidised it. In other countries there is often a huge subsidy and/or much worse quality provision.

MaryPoppinsBag Mon 29-Apr-13 16:24:34

anewyear that comment pissed me off too!

MaryPoppinsBag Mon 29-Apr-13 16:25:22

Not your mummytime!
You were just answering how it could be done.

caramelwaffle Mon 29-Apr-13 16:38:14

£300. Bargain.

caramelwaffle Mon 29-Apr-13 16:38:52

£300? Bargain.

anewyear Mon 29-Apr-13 19:25:20

To be honest I dont care!!
People on here that go on and on about how much childcare/childminders charge, and how its not fair,
All Im asking is, ok how much do you think you should pay, why that should that piss you off hmm

nannyof3 Mon 29-Apr-13 19:28:05

Yes.. They wudnt get child are cheaper anywhere else... Theve got a bargin!!!!!!

Booh Mon 29-Apr-13 19:43:19

Utter bargain

I charge £300 a week for a full time space

MaryPoppinsBag Mon 29-Apr-13 21:04:38

Anewyear - You didn't piss me off!
The OP saying that Childcare cost too much in the UK pissed me off!

anewyear Tue 30-Apr-13 07:20:27

Oops apologies MarryPoppinsBag, I read it wrong blush

But I would still like to know how much those who think we earn to much, would like to pay for their child.

As I cant see the goverment subsidising childacare massivly any time soon, especially with people like Gove, and Truss about who havent a clue IMO.
Truss doesnt have any sort of background in education or the like yet appears to know whats best for childminders etc.

Bonsoir Tue 30-Apr-13 07:25:07

£300 per month for FT childcare is very reasonable.

LadyIsabellaWrotham Tue 30-Apr-13 07:48:31

It's win win for the family isn't it, because you can claim CTC/vouchers/whatever the new system is for registered childcare even if provided by family. But yes, GM should not be obliged to work for free if she's not loaded.

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