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Poorly child

(170 Posts)
ifmamaainthappy Wed 20-Mar-13 13:49:09

Child is 14 months, has a cold, just generally not happy, contacted Mom to let her know, that she's not herself, Mom has told me she's got to much to do to collect her at the moment??? What do you do??? i can't just sit cuddling all day, have others to look after, ( i'm having a late lunch and 5 minutes right now!!)

Twinklestarstwinklestars Wed 20-Mar-13 14:02:57

Did you say she needs to collect or just that she wasn't her self? Don't give the option of not collecting, I've toughened up now after a grandma wouldn't collect a child with a temp of over 40 and a history of fitting!

woahthere Wed 20-Mar-13 14:05:14

Have you a baby carrier or sling you can pop child in so you can get a few things done and give cuddle? I know its not ideal and Mum is being an arse, but unless youre prepared to get properly shirty with her and justify it you havent got much choice apart from to put it down to a bad day. After that though you might want to have a think about whether this is a good working relationship or not. If its a one off I would let it go, but if Mum is like this in general then have a word.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 14:07:49

I wouldn't call a parent home from work because a child had a cold and wasn't happy!

Is that standard practice for childminders?

ceeveebee Wed 20-Mar-13 14:10:24

I wouldn't expect a childminder to ask me to collect a child just because of a cold and "not being happy". I assume the Mum is working so can't just drop everything for a non emergency

ifmamaainthappy Wed 20-Mar-13 14:16:26

The child is normally really happy, Has been crying all day, not eating, and have found out slept most of yesterday, Mom and Dad are both full of cold and told me they feel awful (as in not well!!) I'm not paid to nurse children, i have others to look after... A sick child should be with their parent's!!

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 14:18:33

Bearing in mind the number of colds and stuff children get, that makes you very unreliable childcare.

ifmamaainthappy Wed 20-Mar-13 14:22:19

Outraged, no Not at all, i never send children home unless they are ill, The fact the child has not stopped crying all day is not good for the baby or the other children.. I wouldn't want any of my children to be with anyone else other than me if they were crying all day!!!

minderjinx Wed 20-Mar-13 14:53:50

I don't think that's fair, Outraged. You pay a childminder for shared care, not exclusive care. You take on board that she needs to balance the needs of all the children in her care. So you take the chance that if or when your child is poorly enough to need constant one to one attention, that it will have to be you who provides that. It's just not fair on the child, the childminder or any other children there to try to keep a sick child happy when they really need a parent for comfort. I also think most parents would want to be there for their baby in these circumstances.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 14:58:22

...but the child has a cold? If it was throwing up or running a dangerously high temperature, fair enough, but to leave work and come home immediately because the child has a cold and is unhappy?

I respect your right to run your business how you see fit, but I can see why this would be a problem for the parents.

Blondeshavemorefun Wed 20-Mar-13 15:37:37

i agree with leeds, she has a cold and grumpy - not a reason i would call my boss and say come home

she is not throwing up or has high temp (both of which parents should collect)

yes you are a cm and not a nanny, but does it say in your sickness policy that if has a cold/unhappy that parents will collect

yes you have others to look after,assuming 2 others if have 3 under 5, but sounds no different to my day if have one charge under the weather/teething etc and they need a bit more tlc - the other 2 have to understand it

ifmamaainthappy Wed 20-Mar-13 15:58:48

Mom and Dad are both full of cold and told me they feel awful (as in not well!!) Seems to have been missed here.. if the child feel's the same as mom or Dad, as it is we have worked through it, although the child clearly would have been better with it's parent's, And i am a very very competent and caring CM, with the childs welfare being paramount in all i do.

ifmamaainthappy Wed 20-Mar-13 16:05:08

And i have also informed mom the child has not eaten hardly anything but more importantly not drinking enough i have only had 1 very slightly wet nappy since 7.45 this morning, surely that would be cause for concern.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 16:16:50

'surely that would be cause for concern'

and who better to care for the child than a professional, qualified, first-aid trained childminder?

That's why parents pay you instead of using an au pair or teenager. You can deal with this sort of situation. You say you've worked through it now, so it was doable and neither parent has to walk out of work!

Oh and I saw this bit 'Mom and Dad are both full of cold and told me they feel awful (as in not well!!)', but my thought was, if they're well enough to go to work then the baby, who has the same cold, is well enough to go to childcare.

ifmamaainthappy Wed 20-Mar-13 16:19:44

Outraged, i do not agree with you but will leave it there!!

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 16:22:29

Fair enough grin

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 16:22:58

op, i feel your pain. some parents are extremely self centred where childminders (and their children are concerned) I would be sending home too. My job is not looking after ill children. Ill children should be at home with their parents.
A nursery would send home - why shouldn't we?

Don't worry about Outraged, she has a bit of a chip on her shoulder about childcare it would seem hmm

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 16:25:24

outraged, you have a very selfish attitude - don't you think it matters that op, her children and other children in her care are now likely to get ill - resulting in another set/sets of parents being unable to go to work and op losing income as her children will not be able to go to school?! You have to think about the knock on effect.

We are not nannies. We are childminders. We work from our own home, are self employed and therefore set our own terms, including whether or not we chose to care for sick children. We have more than one set of parents to consider.

ifmamaainthappy Wed 20-Mar-13 17:28:08

Thank you ReetPetit, sometimes i'm amazed on here about attitudes, but then there are others like yourself that make it all worthwhile.. flowers

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 18:00:39

thankyou ifmama smile
there are some very odd people on here, that's for sure.

I've worked with children nearly 20 years and since being a childminder have been appalled at the way some parents think the can treat us! they are leaving their most treasured possessions with us but yet squabble over the odd pound or two and think its fine to leave ill children in our care and not pay on time...
all in all i have had enough and hope to give up this year.

did mum collect btw? was she at work orhome ill? i would have been inclined to deliver child to her but obviously that's nother fair on other children....

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 18:01:09

sorry about spelling - on phone

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Wed 20-Mar-13 18:46:21

OP, I agree with you 100%. If the child is ill, even if not with a raised temp or D&V then he or she should be at home. A cold can make someone feel bloody awful and home is the best place.

I suggest you firstly ignore peculiar opinions on this thread, then have a look at your Exclusion policy regarding illnesses and then be firmer next time you need to ring a parent for them to fetch their poorly child. You are a childcare provider not a nurse. If mum was too busy to collect, then dad could have (if all is well there) or the emergency contact person.

Hope you are ok.

(BTW, it boggles my mind that someone would rather leave their child in childcare than collect them if they were ill.)

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 19:02:43

There are downsides to all forms of childcare. One of the downsides of using a nusery or childminder is that they are unable to look after a child who is ill.

I am suprised that a cold is considered serious enough to call the parents home from work. I imagine if schools and nurseries used that policy they would be half empty from September to March.

I am confused that you seem unable to understand that a parent cannot drop everything at work to rush home when there isn't a serious problem.

I respect your right to run your childcare business as you see fit.

I hope we can discuss issues of this nature without resorting to personal insults.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 19:07:47

alliwant I don't think there are many parents who want to leave their sick child in childcare, but it is not always possible to leave immediately and collect.

If the mum is a teacher for example, she can't just leave her class and come home because her DC has a cold....

or if she is a judge or lawyer and in court....

or a doctor in the middle of seeing a patient....

Some people have demanding jobs, which is why they use professional childcarers who can deal with illnesses/accidents etc. Perhaps these parents are better off with a nanny, but I'm not sure it's a good advert for childminders.

AllDirections Wed 20-Mar-13 19:13:54

But there is a cold as in lots of sneezing and a snotty nose and then there is a full blown cold that gives you a thick head and makes you all achy and feel terrible. It sounds like this child has the full blown variety.

If my childminder thought my child was ill enough to phone me at work then I'd trust her judgement and collect the child asap. I trust my childminder 100%

colditz Wed 20-Mar-13 19:16:12

If you keep your own child out of school for a cold, I'm surprised you haven't had the attendance compliance officers on your back.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 19:19:48

....and if for some work reason you couldn't collect straight away, would you expect your childminder to understand that?

If I phoned my charges parents and told them they needed to collect they would also come home asap. The difference is, I wouldn't do that if one of them had a cold (even an achey, thick head cold).

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Wed 20-Mar-13 19:19:56

Outraged do you even HAVE children? If you do surely you've had a call from school asking you to collect immediately? Children who are as sick as the OP describes do not belong in care with another person and other children. Regardless of the parent's job!

Parent's who work usually have emergency adults who can collect in their stead.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 19:22:06

Neo I don't consider the symptoms the OP describes as emergency pick-up symptoms. I've been asked to pick up immediately, but it wasn't for a cold.

AllDirections Wed 20-Mar-13 19:24:44

Children who are as sick as the OP describes do not belong in care with another person and other children

^ This ^

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Wed 20-Mar-13 19:24:52

The child has not stopped crying and is not eating. Those are not minor symptoms like a runny nose...non stop crying indicates pain and the child needs to see a doctor.

girliefriend Wed 20-Mar-13 19:26:56

Have you/ did you give the child some medicine? Calpol or kids neurophen? Its obv not ideal and if my cm had rung to say dd (at that age) was crying and not well I would of course gotton out of work asap and collected her. That said I would have expected the cm to of given some medicine first to see if that helped.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 19:28:08

The child is 14 months old. They have days where they don't eat much and grizzle all day!

If the child is screaming in pain rather than doing the teething/cold grizzle, then I agree that a parent should come home and the OP should call NHS direct or if the parent cannot get there quickly take her to A&E.

The fact that the OP is posting on mumsnet about her annoyance at the mother suggests the child is not screaming in pain.

redwellybluewelly Wed 20-Mar-13 19:28:10

Op YANBU.

I'm not a childminder but I do have a child who attends nursery and if they rang me to say she was illdI'd trust their judgement.

Btw. Dh and I tag team to cover illnesses picked up from childcare. If less parents sent their child in then dh and I wouldn't have taken so much damn leave already

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 19:34:40

but it's not the childminders decision to make as you whether it's even a cold - what if there was something more serious going on and the childminder didn't ask the parent to collect? a child should not be in someone else's care when ill - say the child suddenly took a turn for the worse - the childminder is then negligent in her care, who's responsibility is it? responsibility for a sick child should always be with the parent.

Asking a cm to give calpol is also not good. Schools don't give it. Many cms won't to cover their own backs as much as anything - we are open to all sorts of allegations if anything goes wrong - i do give calpol as a last resort if a temp is very high if i have written permission but i would not give it for a cold - if a child needs pain relief, that child should not be with me.

it is totally unfair on a child and on the childminder for a parent not to make arrangements to collect. even if the parent is in a high powered job which makes it difficult to get away - there are sometimes two parents and other family members/friends who could collect. saying i can't come and collect is simply not good enough.
Fwiw, outraged - none of my parents have or ever have had jobs where they can't get away - most of them work from home and a few don't even work at all.... but i still have at times waited up to 2 hours for a sick child to be collected hmm in the mean time myself, my own dc and any other mindees in the house have been exposed to whatever the ill one has... very unfair.

AllDirections Wed 20-Mar-13 19:40:47

You're right Reet how does the OP (or the parent) know that it's just a cold? The OP did the right thing and the parent now has to take responsibility.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 19:48:29

So now parents should be called whenever a child has a cold, because what if it isn't a cold?! Really alldirections? Really? Whenever a child has a cold, incase it isn't a cold? Should we take them to the doctors everytime they have cold, incase it isn't a cold?

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 19:52:02

don't be so silly outraged hmm no one is suggesting that - but the child sounds quite ill. i think we all know what a common cold looks like but this child has been unwell all day, very grizzly and has had dry nappies.
just a thought, and god forbid, but there are other infections that can display those kinds of symptoms and it is not the cms decision to make as to whether the child requires medical attention. the parent should collect the child when asked or make appropriate arrangements for someone else to.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Wed 20-Mar-13 19:57:02

There is a big difference between a grizzly child and one who is feeling really poorly. Even if the parent is a cardiac surgeon, mid heart transplant, there should be some procedures in place in the event of a child taking ill while in the care of a childcare provider where the provider's policy states that the provider will not be able to provide care for a child who is ill. In cases where a parent is not prepared to accept such a policy, then the parent should seek alternate forms of childcare.

AllDirections Wed 20-Mar-13 19:59:42

This isn't just a cold though is it? The child is ill.

Are you the child's mother Outraged? grin

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 20:08:27

'In cases where a parent is not prepared to accept such a policy, then the parent should seek alternate forms of childcare. '

Absolutely agree with that. I don't know what the OP's policy states, I think someone did ask up thread, but she hasn't answered yet. I agree if the parent agreed to pick-up when the child has a cold, they should do so.

I am suprised by the views on this thread. I am suprised by the massive difference between childminders and nannies on this issue. There was a thread yesterday about nannies looking after sick children and the general view was, if they're not sick enough to be in hospital, then the nanny is OK to look after them.

I knew childminders had to exclude for things like D&V, but I didn't know that they would require a parent to return immediately from work for a cold/lack of appetite/minor temperature etc.

I think the stuff about 'what if it isn't a cold' etc is hogwash quite honestly. Unless the child's parent is a doctor, medically speaking, there is no reason they would be better off with a parent than a first-aid trained childcare professional. If the child takes a turn for the worse, call an ambulance, they won't come slower because you're a childminder. Chances are though, that it is a cold or teething and that they won't 'take a turn for the worse'.

I guess the conclusion is, if you need someone to look after your child when they're sick, don't use a childminder. Fair enough. Anything that makes the expense of a nanny seem worth it, is good in my book.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 20:10:00

AllDirections No I'm not the child's mother grin

It sounds like a cold or teething to me, but I'm not a doctor.

AllDirections Wed 20-Mar-13 20:17:50

I do think there's a big difference between using a childminder or a nanny. The expectations are quite different. When a child is sick is they should be at home and having other children to look after at the same time is different depending on whether they are siblings or not. I see a nanny as a replacement parent but a childminder as a childcarer. I wish I could afford a nanny!

girliefriend Wed 20-Mar-13 20:20:07

I have used 2 childminders in the last 7 yrs to kook after my dd and they have both been happy to give calpol if she needed it, I have only ever been called by one of them once when dd was very poorly and of course I collected her more or less straight away.

I do have some sympathy with the parent in the op post, I am a nurse and a single parent and if I leave work I would have to find cover for my patients as I can't just leave them.

fivesacrowd Wed 20-Mar-13 20:22:24

Ok seeing this from both points of view, agree with outraged that cm may well be better equipped to identify whether a child is really ill or just has cold, but tbh when most kids are under the weather, they need their mums (or dads). I had similar situation last week, mindee was poorly and hangy, not really ill, but just not himself. I texted his mum when he became inconsolable and we agreed to try Calpol (which she had supplied, consent forms in place etc as cm can't just give meds to children without parental consent!). He rallied a bit then dipped later so then mum came to collect. In the time in between she phoned a couple of times to check on him and I txt her regular updates. It's called working in partnership with parents and using common sense. Here endeth the bun fight - first time I've actually tried to kill a thread! wink

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 20:25:28

I thought we'd killed it earlier when the OP and I agreed to disgaree, but apparently not!! grin

AllDirections Wed 20-Mar-13 20:27:17

My childminder has phoned a few times to check about giving my DD calpol. It's either been just to tide her over till I got there or to see if she would improve enough to stay there. My childminder was always understanding if I couldn't get there straight away but if she had insisted then I would have left work immediately, but then I have a job where no-one will die if I leave, there just might be complaints which could lead to sanctions which could lead to loss of future contracts, etc. but I have to be a parent first and foremost.

Katnisscupcake Wed 20-Mar-13 20:29:36

I used a CM (and still do use her during the holidays) exclusively from when dd was 5 months to 2.5 years and would have been shocked if she had called me to collect dd because she had a cold. Children get colds all the time. I agree that vomiting and a high temperature mean that the child should be collected, but not for a cold. Dd would never have been with the cm if that was the case.

I wouldn't keep a child off of school for a cold, I wouldn't stay off of work either and on the flip side of this, our cm would never tell us she couldn't take dd if she had a cold herself.

LingDiLong Wed 20-Mar-13 20:29:44

I think the problem is that this kind of thing is very subjective -there's a thread on AIBU about school absence and there's a real divide in opinion on when a child is too ill to go to school.

I have permission to give calpol/nurofen if needed and would always try that option first. I would also ring and confer with the parent with something like this - ask them whether there was anything else they could think of that would normally comfort them. I would battle on with whinging/out of sorts children with colds...this child sounds worse than that though; non-stop crying and not eating or drinking in a child who is normally happy. I'd expect a parent to pick up - I'd expect them to feel they HAD to pick up without having it spelt out to be honest.

Blondeshavemorefun Wed 20-Mar-13 20:40:43

i asked earlier what the op's policy was for colds/under weather

she didnt reply

unless says in policy to collect your child if above then the cm needs to look after the child

by all means call the parents but sure in 99% cases they will say they are at work/in a meeting and cant leave now

totally different if sick or have a raging temp - but for a miserable child who has a cold and probably teething as well then the cm needs to look after them and not be annoyed if they call parents and they say they cant come and collect

this is why parents pay for childcare

JassyRadlett Wed 20-Mar-13 20:43:11

What fives said. I use a nursery, not a CM, but they do a similar thing. They have clear exclusion policies (D&V, certain illnesses, fever unresolved after one dose of Calpol administered with parental permission).

They are also really clear about what they want me to do in any situation. Once, at around 15 mths, DS's lovely key person called me to say he wasn't really himself, teary and clingy and off his food. They were very clear that they didn't expect me to come and get him, that they were administering cuddles and stories and she would keep me in the loop. Which she did. I then left work early but not doing the classic dash-to-collect-ill-child. It was a really good example of how the partnership can work effectively.

From the OP, I'm not clear whether she actually asked the mother to collect, or just expected the mother to respond to the news that the child had a cold with an announcement that she'd drop everything and come home.

LingDiLong Wed 20-Mar-13 20:44:42

No. I disagree. You can't legislate for everything and write a policy that covers every aspect of a child's behaviour. As parents we all know the difference when our children are a bit whingy and not quite right and when they're really unwell - your mum senses start tingling because the cry is different, their behaviour is different. It's not something that is easy to write down in a policy and ultimately comes down to trust. I don't make a habit of ringing the parents I work for so I would hope they'd trust me if I rang and said 'he/she really doesn't seem right today'.

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 20:46:06

this is the reason that we ask for more than one emergency contact - so that someone is available to collect.

it amazes me that people could be so pig headed about collecting their own child when ill! Your child is ill, you collect him/her, surely??

do people really rate their child's health/welfare below their work/shopping/gym/hair appointments??

LingDiLong Wed 20-Mar-13 20:46:59

Sorry x-post, that was to Blondes. Jassy, that's how i operate actually. I'd ring and have a chat and we'd work it out together. The idea that the OP shouldn't have been even bothering the parents with 'a cold' is one I don't agree with though.

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 20:48:17

blondes, i think you are a nanny,aren't you? we are different as childminders, we are self employed - we dictate our own terms - we don't have to look after sick children. if we feel the child is too ill to be with us we will insist on collection. a parent can not simply turn around and say 'sorry too busy' it doesn't work like that. if i got that answer, i would be delivering the child to the parent and delivering my notice to them at the same time... hmm

ceeveebee Wed 20-Mar-13 20:52:10

Reet - I doubt very much that anyone equates work with gym/shopping/hair appointments.
If i dashed off from work every time my DCs had a minor illness I would have to take unpaid leave and would seriously hamper any prospects of career development. DHs job is equally demanding and we have no family within 3 hours drive. Thankfully we have a wonderful nanny and this thread helps confirm we made the right choice.

Do CMs give a refund when they send a DC home by the way?

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 20:54:02

no, none that i know ceeveebee, as the cm is available to work...

AllDirections Wed 20-Mar-13 20:57:43

I would have to take unpaid leave and would seriously hamper any prospects of career development

Sounds normal to me. A nanny is absolutely the way to go if you earn enough to pay for one. Most of us don't. My childminder is brilliant and her fees are very reasonable but I have to look after my own child if she is sick.

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 21:01:05

very true AllDirections smile

ceeveebee Wed 20-Mar-13 21:01:08

I would of course come home if my DCs were actually ill but I don't count colds, grizzling, teething etc as illnesses.

samlamb Wed 20-Mar-13 21:04:41

Bloody hell thank god for the nannys of the world..demanding a working mother leave work to collect a child with a cold?? What the actual hell? School don't send kids home with a cold why should a cm? A cold!!??

samlamb Wed 20-Mar-13 21:09:38

Perhaps giving up child care is for the best reet .ASAP.

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 21:11:58

there are different types of cold - no one is suggesting a child be sent home with a sniffle. but schools/nurseries would send a child home that is full of cold and too ill to be in a childcare setting. who wants a sneezing/coughing/infectious child in a childcare setting with other children?
no one actually even knows this mother was at work - op says mum and dad are both full of cold - they could just have easily been at home ill themselves and still too busy to collect.

i've had a child brought to me extremely ill and with a high temp (didn't realise until she was through the door and by then mums phone was convienently switched off) and it turned out both mum and dad were at home that day!! shock

some people need to sort their priorities out, seriously!! hmm

clam Wed 20-Mar-13 21:11:59

"Do CMs give a refund when they send a DC home by the way?"

What, the CMs should be out of pocket for a child being ill?

To be frank, no one on here, except possibly the OP, has any idea what was wrong with the child. It might have been "just" a cold (although sometimes they can be severe and unpleasant), but the cold symptoms might also have been part of something altogether more serious.

And caring for a sick child is not about whether or not the CM is a trained first-aider. If my baby was ill, I'd want to care for him myself.

LingDiLong Wed 20-Mar-13 21:15:11

Samlamb, I would expect most schools WOULD call actually if a child in their care was too ill to participate in anything and was crying in consolably.

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 21:16:17

you are absolutely right samlamb - i can't wait wink

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 21:16:34

'And caring for a sick child is not about whether or not the CM is a trained first-aider'

It is in part. Of course you want to be there for your sick baby and he needs you for comfort, but on a medical level, if he did 'take a turn for the worse' and stopped breathing, for example, would you want him with you (assuming you don't know CPR) or with someone trained to administer CPR? I know what I'd choose.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Wed 20-Mar-13 21:16:43

The Op said the child was crying continuously...not "grizzling". They are different things. And Samlamb some kids have Dads too....one parent...or another pre arranged adult could come and SHOULD come to collect an unwell child.

Why should the other children be with a sick child?

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 21:19:57

Ling I think the age of the child is relevant. If a school age child was crying inconsolably and was too ill too participate in anything then I would expect them to be sent home because it's a sign something is very wrong. It's completely different with a 14 month old though. They cry, their babies, that's what they do. My youngest charge will be whingey and wanting cuddles all day when he has teeth coming through, it's not a reason to call his parents. If the 8 year old, was in tears all day it would be a completely different situation.

doughnut44 Wed 20-Mar-13 21:21:00

All I want to add to the conversation is that I am glad that I don't mind for any of the posters who say they wouldn't want to pick up a child when the minder feels that the child should be at home with their mum/dad.
Thankfully all my parents know that I would only send home if it was for the wellbeing of the child.

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 21:21:29

but outraged - you are missing the point, again... it is not the cms job to administer cpr - she is a childminder not a casualty doctor or paramedic for goodness sake.

an ill child should be sent home. it is not up to the cm to decide how ill the child is. obviously we use a level of common sense when deciding whether to call a parent but a child who has been upset all day, and has dry nappies and is obviously not doing too well should not be with a childminder. why is that so difficult to understand?

say it turned out the child had something else, dare i say, meningitis, which suddenly developed from the symptoms described to something much more serious, the parent would then be within their rights to say, the cm didn't call me, i wasn't give the choice of whether to take my child to hospital - we just can't win, can we??

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Wed 20-Mar-13 21:23:17

No Outraged...the OP said the child "was not herself" that's not "what babies do" at all! As the OP is a CM and therefore experienced I think it is safe to assume she knows what ILL is and what teething is.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 21:23:57

To be fair Neo the OP originally said 'has a cold, just generally not happy'. Only after a couple of posts suggesting she didn't need to call the mother did we learn about the parent's illness, the constant crying, the not eating, the not drinking, the dry nappies etc. In a later post the OP said that she'd managed to deal with it.

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 21:25:49

but you know all that now Outraged, so it's not really relevant that the op didn't mention it in her first post confused

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Wed 20-Mar-13 21:26:25

Well Outraged a bit of drip feeding does not an argument win....unless we doubt the OP's version completely and assume she exaggerated....then it's STILL fair to say that the baby should be at home. Crying continuously is not a happy child. It's probably a child in pain.

LingDiLong Wed 20-Mar-13 21:26:50

Outraged, I have an 18 month old mindee who can be incredibly whingy. But I know every well the difference between that and him actually being unwell. So does his mum, thankfully. No way would I just dismiss a child - whatever their age - crying constantly and in a way that was out of character. In fact, the younger the child the more cautious you should be as they can't verbalise what's wrong with them.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 21:27:32

No-one has said the parent shouldn't be given the choice of whether to collect or not.

Neo maybe your children are different to the ones I look after, but they're 'not themselves' when they're tired or teething or a bit under the weather. Not being themselves is not sufficient to demand the child be picked IMO.

I respect the right of childminders to run their business as they see fit. As I've said twice already.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Wed 20-Mar-13 21:27:45

And what's more....I work...but if my DD was not herself with a cold...and crying continuously and not eating...then yes....of COURSE I would expect to be called to collect her....or her Dad to be called. Who the hell wouldn't!? hmm

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 21:29:05

Neo anyone with a nanny.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Wed 20-Mar-13 21:29:12

I would hate to think of a child left with a minder who was busy with other charges when they were not well.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Wed 20-Mar-13 21:29:48

Outraged yes....as I said earlier...or another adult.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 21:30:55

'Outraged yes....as I said earlier...or another adult. '

Sorry, I don't understand what you mean by this?

Megsdaughter Wed 20-Mar-13 21:31:06

I was a CM am now a nanny so can see both sides.
I certainly look after my charges while sick now.
But as a CM I had a policy that read

If a child is unwell enough NOT to participate in the usual activities if the day, then the child us not well enough to be in Childcare.

So if crying, clingy and not wanting to do anything, then yes I would have sent home.

We had very full days with groups, music sessions, soft play and two walking school runs a day a child that isn't up to going to the usual things is stopping the other children going too

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 21:32:45

I think if that's your policy and you make it clear to the parent when they sign up, then that's completely fair.

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 21:39:30

well, seeing as you don't know the ops policy on sickness outraged, you can't really say whether she is being fair or not! which makes your argument on this thread a bit pointless really confused

mrsthomsontobe Wed 20-Mar-13 21:43:10

Well my daughter went off food and drink , was very clingy crying all the time and dry nappies , not really a temp. Turnsed out it was a urine infection and she ended up in hospital for 3 days. So the child may not just have a cold it could be something more serious

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 21:44:14

My argument on this thread is; I'm suprised that childminders demand parents pick up immediately when a child has a cold as it makes them quite unreliable childcare. I am suprised about that regardless of their policy. I think it still means it's unreliable childcare, but if that is stated in the policy then at least the parents have the choice of whether or not to use the childminder.

I didn't comment on whether the OP was being fair or not.

The OP has been asked about her policy and has declined to comment.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 21:46:02

mrsthomson if you'd have picked up your child a few hours ealier, would it have made any difference to the outcome? Would she have not ended up in hospital for three days?

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 21:46:33

outraged, once again, no childminder on here has said they demand a child be picked up immediately for a cold. This child is clearly ill. There is a difference.

Hope this makes it a bit clearer smile

Mrscupcake23 Wed 20-Mar-13 21:47:12

Oh for goodness sake why can't you just give calpol? I know you need permission etc but surely this would be set up all ready to do. I think if mums had a day off every time their child had a cold they would be sacked.

Op do you send all your minded children home when you have a cold?

Blondes I think if it was in her policy she would not have any children to look after unless they had a really flexible job.

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 21:50:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blondeshavemorefun Wed 20-Mar-13 21:50:45

Meg that sounds sensible. Wonder if op had that in her policy

Yes all mindees should have more then one contact to call wether dad or gp or friend

Reet yes I'm a nanny so agree slightly different - just from going what the op said in first comment - a cold and generally not happy - I wouldn't expect the parent to collect - as ceeveebee agreed with me

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 21:50:50

Is it clear to you Reet that I have not commented on whether or not the OP is being 'fair'?

Is it clear to you Reet that my 'argument' on this thread is not about whether or not the OP is being 'fair'?

ThisIsMummyPig Wed 20-Mar-13 21:51:08

Outraged - I think all parents know that childminders are unreliable - they take sick days, they go on holiday (while you are still paying for them) etc. That's why so many parents pay for a day nursery, (although they send poorly children home too.)

I would only have considered a childminder if I had not been able to afford a nursery. Around here it is about £15 a day cheaper to go to a childminder rather than a nursery.

Having taken everything into consideration I actually worked two days a week, got DH to do one, and my mother the other. That way I have never been let down by my childcare, but equally I will probably have to wait years before I can work full time again.

AllDirections Wed 20-Mar-13 21:52:25

It's standard for childminders to have a policy that states they won't look after sick children. And nurseries too.

Stoney666 Wed 20-Mar-13 21:53:49

I tend to only send mindees home for d&v (actually never had any in 11 years grin) an u usually high temperature maybe an asthma attack if bad enough. coughs and colds are part and parcel
of this job unfortunately but I think I'm immune to it all now lol
I would always contact a parent, get permission to give medicine and then if things didn't improve I would then suggest leaving work as soon as they could. I try to put myself in their position my boss when I had a different job was very unsympathetic if my dcs were ever ill. I was lucky, gps looked after mine grin

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 21:55:05

Again Reet no-one has said the parent shouldn't be given the choice? If the parent chooses to stay at work and not collect their child then that is their responsibility. All you need to do as a childminder is what you think is right at the time. So call the parents if you need to, if it gets worse call an ambulance.

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 21:56:54

but it is the cms choice whether she wants a sick child in her home and around her family!! if she doesn't, then the parent has to collect.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 21:59:05

I didn't know that mummypig, that's why I was suprised. I knew about D&V etc, but I wouldn't have thought a cold would warrant a parent being called.

Every day's a school day on mumsnet grin.

HSMMaCM Wed 20-Mar-13 22:02:08

I also have a policy about children being able to take part in normal activities. Today for example one of my parents called to say her son might need a bit of a duvet day, so she didn't bring him until the other children had been out to toddlers and had lunch.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 22:02:47

'but it is the cms choice whether she wants a sick child in her home and around her family!! if she doesn't, then the parent has to collect. '

Okay. 4th time lucky. I respect a chilminder's right to run her business how she sees fit.

<bang bang bang on the wall>

HSMMaCM Wed 20-Mar-13 22:04:06

And I don't get paid for my sickness or holidays.

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 22:05:07

that's good then Outraged, we got there eventually... hmm

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 22:05:39

See that suprises me HSMM about the duvet day thing. I'm not judging, I'm just suprised. It's very different from nannying.

LingDiLong Wed 20-Mar-13 22:07:11

I hate the attitude to childminders on here sometimes, I really do sad.

Childminders are NOT unreliable. I've been doing this a year now and have had one day off sick in that time. I don't charge for my holidays.

And it isn't about calling a parent to collect a child who 'just' has a cold FFS. Stop being so disingenuous! I'm starting to think this thread is just an excuse to give childminders a kicking. Thank God for my lovely parents who respect what I do and are happy to work in partnership with me rather than just demand I do exactly what suits them regardless of whether it's best for their child or the childcare setting their child uses. I'm beginning to see just how lucky I've been so far.

mrsthomsontobe Wed 20-Mar-13 22:07:57

My daughter wasn't in childcare at the time she was with me so don't no If few hours would make a difference. Think it was more to do with her age, the not eating snd drinking, as they explained a child getting a urine infection is not the same as an adult. You don't just get antibiotics and sent home. She was about 12- 14months at the time. A urine infection can cause damage in young children and they then need follow up appointments to check for tissue scaring /damage.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 22:07:57

'that's good then Outraged, we got there eventually... '

Yes!! Thank goodness. You've finally managed to read what I've written 4 times on this thread.

grin well done! I feel like it was all worth it now. <proud>

With practice you could probably get in 3, I reckon!

HSMMaCM Wed 20-Mar-13 22:08:26

What's the surprise? He had a stinking rotten cold and could not take part in the normal activities in the morning, but we were home in the afternoon, so he could snuggle on the settee while the other children put on puppet shows etc and his Mum made her conference call.

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 22:11:38

its any excuse on here LingDiLong to put childminders now. Nannies seem to think they are superior, those that use them think they are getting the better option too (because they pay a lot more for them...) what they fail to realise is most cms have been nannies already and are also mothers with years of experience under their belt.

There is a lot of snobbery around childminders. Its horrible. I don't charge for my holidays, my sickness (not had a day sick in errm, around 5 years or so!) or any time i am off with either of my ds. i work bloody hard for minimum wage, 10 hours a day, 5 days a week most weeks of the year, but yes, you are right, any excuse to give childminders a kicking on here!

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 22:11:47

Ling childminder's themselves are not unreliable, but it's an unreliable form of childcare that cannot accommodate a sick child. The same as nursery. Children get sick all the time. We all know this. I can't reliably send my child there and rely on the childminder to keep them for the full day because if they're (slightly)sick and can't join in with activities I have to leave work to collect them.

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 22:12:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 22:14:33

HSMM being a nanny it's very much about facilitating the parents going to work no matter what. I thought (wrongly I now know) it was similar with childminding. So, in your example we would have all had a duvet/film day to accommodate the sick child, rather than preventing the parent going to work. I'm genuinely suprised.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 22:16:20

'god what an unpleasant person you are Outraged. Really, really nasty.... '

Yes, I've been vicious and personal about you, while you've been lovely and polite. Oh no.....hang on....let's read back....yep it's you that's lobbing insults.

grin

catkind Wed 20-Mar-13 22:19:23

See, if our CM called to say baby was not herself, I'd say, OK, she's got a bit of a cold I know she's a grumbly, I'll see if one of us can leave work early. If I wasn't busy I'd collect immediately anyway, if I was I'd probably comment to that effect. (Well, in fact she'd be calling dad as he's the one that works locally, but if for some reason she called me...)
If CM called us and said baby's not well she needs to be collected we'd make sure someone got there as soon as possible.
Could it be a misunderstanding between OP and client, and client thought OP was just calling to inform her? May just be the way you phrased the post tho OP.

LingDiLong Wed 20-Mar-13 22:20:40

Outraged, that isn't how it was put by the previous poster - as well you know. Her exact words were 'all parents know childminders aren't reliable' before making out that we all charge for own holidays. The very clear implication being that we're a bunch of unprofessional, money grabbing, lazy cows.

I have never worked so hard in my life as I have in this job.

I hate letting people down and was a working parent after my first child so I understand how much parents dread getting that phone call from a childcarer to ask them to collect an ill child. But the way in which people are deliberately downplaying what the OP said again and again is actually pretty depressing. It suggests an inherently negative attitude to childminders; the assumption that we send a child home with the merest sniffle while chuckling to ourselves as we pocket the full day fee.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 22:22:09

'Outraged, that isn't how it was put by the previous poster - as well you know'

Sorry I thought that comment was to me, because I'd said childminder's are unreliable earlier on. What I meant was, as a from of childcare it is unreliable.

Fightlikeagirl Wed 20-Mar-13 22:23:13

Outraged, surely the reason that a nanny can accommodate a sick child is because her other charges are siblings of the ill child?
Us cms have children from different families and I don't think parents would be impressed ( and rightly so) if their child had to miss out on going on outings/ activities etc because I was l

HSMMaCM Wed 20-Mar-13 22:23:42

Outraged ... unfortunately the other 5 families did not want their children stuck inside all day accommodating a sick child and the parent of the sick child was more than happy with the compromise that was reached, as I have never sent her child hone sick in the past 3 years.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 22:24:49

'The very clear implication being that we're a bunch of unprofessional, money grabbing, lazy cows.'

I don't think this. If you look at my previous posts, I've always included nannies/childminders as one. I always advise parents to use a nanny or childminder instead of a nursery. I always tell them it's better value for money for one child to use a chilminder. I'm not bashing childminder's. I am suprised at the approach to dealing with sick kids though.

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 22:26:39

this thread is just going round in circles - Outraged clearly won't let it go, even though she has admitted she didn't know how childminders worked until now....

LingDiLong Wed 20-Mar-13 22:27:06

There are also days when you couldn't have a 'duvet day' if you wanted to what with school runs etc. I had a poorly boy with me on Monday and the school run was horrendous, I had two schools to pick up from and he broke his heart the whole time I was out. Luckily his mum didn't send him Tuesday as she recognised that he really wasn't well enough. He was just 'not right' by the way, not a temp, not d&v but very, very unhappy even after a dose of calpol.

Fightlikeagirl Wed 20-Mar-13 22:28:09

(Whoops too soon ) ..... Was looking after a child who was too ill to join in with normal routine.
There are lots of differences with having a nanny or childminder. Pros and cons for both.
Definitely feel childminders are getting a bad time on MN at the moment. sad

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 22:29:24

i would never have a duvet day - i am being paid to do a job - not have a duvet day! if a child needs a duvet day, it won't be at my house!

Mrscupcake23 Wed 20-Mar-13 22:29:34

I don't think Leeds is bashing childminders. Reets post made me laugh out loud . Giving out personal insults is really really nasty.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 22:29:35

I see that now Fight and HSMM believe me I'll be muttering 'sick child, childminder, NO!!!' in my bloody sleep.

I understand the other children from different families would miss out, but I thought that the parents would be understanding because when their child needed a duvet day/was sick they wouldn't have to take time off either. I think if you're using group care, you have to accept you can't have things all your own way. I WRONGLY assumed sickness and duvet days were part of this.

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 22:31:48

did you read the post to which my post was in answer to MrsCupcake?? it was sarcy and horrible and i didn't appreciate the tone, hence my post. Sorry if anyone thought it was ott, i will ask to have it removed - but i don't appreciate someone trying to belittle me in that manner.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 22:33:24

Scary?! grin

That's brilliant!!! I'm actually laughing out loud. Actually.

HSMMaCM Wed 20-Mar-13 22:34:06

Unfortunately many families are only understanding when it comes to their own child, not other people's grin

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 22:34:11

*I know you didn't say scary before you tell me grin

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 22:34:23

not scary outraged - sarcy, as in sarcastic....

fivesacrowd Wed 20-Mar-13 22:36:01

Stop the madness!!!!! Would you let mindees behave like this? Expect you both have small children to look after tomorrow so please just give it up - you wont win an argument like this and all it does is bring the trolls out spouting rubbish about all cm's being money grabbing half wits who watch tv all day and don't give a stuff about children. Rise above ladies, rise above.

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 22:38:03

i'm off now anyway fivesacrowd. i can't be dealing with someone like this, don't have the energy for it. And people think nannies are the better option?! wink

Smudging Wed 20-Mar-13 22:38:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 22:39:59

oh, but it's so much fun five. Are you sending us to bed? sad

It's also been quite educational. There has been quite reasonable discussion from most posters. If you edit the name calling and personal insults, it's been interesting.

Mrscupcake23 Wed 20-Mar-13 22:40:17

Ok this is going round in circles. Just looking back through the posts funny how the op could post several times when the child needed cuddling and she couldn't care for the others.

Why not put I'll child on lap and read the others a story instead of being on mumsnet?

Think it must have been a cold.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 22:40:33

grin @ Reet.

She just can't stop.

dot91 Wed 20-Mar-13 22:42:35

I have been a childminder for over 20 years and in the past would give a sick child a dose of calpol with the parents permission rather than asking them to collect the child . At my last inspection I was told that due to a change in regulations I am no longer allowed to give calpol without getting signed permission before administrating the calpol. Also I am not allow to keep calpol just incase I might need it. When I questioned what would i do if I was unable to contact anyone to come and sign a permission form for me and the child had a high temperature i was told phone an ambulance.

fivesacrowd Wed 20-Mar-13 22:42:59

Bed now! No supper and remember to brush your teeth.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 22:51:51

Ok sad

<slinks off>

....but I'm having some reading time first and don't you try to stop me or you can't come to my birthday!!

grin

OloeufiaMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 20-Mar-13 22:52:49
Blondeshavemorefun Wed 20-Mar-13 22:55:27

Good point mrscupcake smile

No one is bashing cm's - ESP not nannies - guess we are surprised how some work / but in the end as many cm's on here have pointed out / they are self employed and can do what they want

Some parents who use a cm Would be happy with a duvet day - where others wouldn't be

Horses for courses smile

I would go to bed five but bubs needs feeding but also love a debate but then blondes is hitting the sack wink

Fightlikeagirl Wed 20-Mar-13 23:14:09

The poster who said - "I think all parents know that childminders are unreliable - they take sick days, they go on holiday (while you are still paying for them) etc. " was bashing childminders, to be fair.
In 12 years of minding I have asked for an ill child to be collected once, I have had one sick day when I had suspected pnuemonia and do not charge for any of my holidays ( or my 1 sick day!). I am pretty typical of a childminder, we hate letting our parents/mindees down, we welcome our mindees and parents into our families, we offer flexible care and we are a great choice of childcare, as are nannies. smile

minderjinx Thu 21-Mar-13 10:23:49

Hear hear Fightlikeagirl.

It would be unfair and insulting to call childminders unreliable for providing (often above and beyond) the type and level of service the parents have signed up to and pay for. Putting aside some of the more heated and personal arguments, it does come over very much as looking for a pretext to bash childminders.

In the current economic climate, with many families struggling to afford a nanny (or finding that their priorities or values do not lead them to that choice), it is understandable that some might be quick to emphasise the few areas in which the nanny/nursery/childminder service differs and do their best to plant concerns in the minds of potential customers. In practice I am sure that most parents are content with their choices and value their chosen childcarers.

Thurlow Thu 21-Mar-13 12:14:56

As a parent who uses a CM, I'd probably do the same as an earlier poster and if the CM said my DC was feeling rubbish with a cold I would try and make sure someone could pick her up earlier. I take her in with a cold, generally all the mindees have colds at the same time anyway as they've all caught them off each other! So CM doesn't mind. I've had one call saying "please come and get her now" and she had a temp of 40+ and seemed to have difficulties breathing, perfectly reasonable and CM dealt with it brilliantly.

I hate the CM bashing that's niggling away on this thread sad Our CM is amazing, so much more flexible than a nursery, and we couldn't manage without her. I suspect it is because some people believe that the CM works 'for them', rather than that they have chosen to use the CM's services. Which is a huge difference.

IrisGirl Mon 25-Mar-13 22:20:48

i'm not a childminder, but my dd (2.4) is with a childminder 4 days a week. there have been times when dd has had a little bit of a cold and i've informed CM of this and said if she feels dd is getting worse through the day then give me or DH a call and one of us will collect her straightaway.

she did phone me once to say DD "was not herself" and was it ok to give her a dose of capol, i replied saying of course and did she need me to come home and pick her up??

tbh my CM's policy seems to be a bit of a cold/snotty nose is ok, but anything more serious then child needs to be at home with parent. my daughter has had a good few bouts of tonsillitis and i've stayed at home with her as i would rather be with her than anyone else, that being said when you are working its not always that easy to leave work straightaway for a non-emergency such as a cold!!

my CM has 2 other lil ones the same age as my DD to look after and she has a duty of care to all of them not just my lil girl xx

DIYapprentice Tue 26-Mar-13 12:08:40

I find this really tricky - when I used a CM I was an hour away by train, plus time for the next train. If my DS was feeling poorly, it would have been difficult to get there quickly. DH would sometimes be around, often travelled though. (And no family closer than a 24 hour flight away, which rather defeats the purpose wink)

And yes, using a CM can be an unreliable form of childcare, especially if they have DC. My last CM had the DSs one day a week, term time only. We missed 3 weeks in a 2 month period because her DD's had Chicken Pox, another 1 the next month because my DS had Chicken Pox (obviously that would have meant being home no matter what form of childcare I used), then a couple more days of no childcare because her DDs had D&V the following month.

To have been asked to keep my DSs at home after all of that because they had a cold would have left me feeling like throwing my hands up in despair.

I suppose, though, my CM's have never had a really large number of children because they had their own DC, so their allowed numbers were always lower, and often they didn't want to be at their maximum allowed number during the day.

So if the DC had a quieter day because either her, my or the other family's DCs were feeling a little under the weather it was fine by all of us.

OutragedFromLeeds Tue 26-Mar-13 12:42:27

'obviously that would have meant being home no matter what form of childcare I used'

Don't want to start it all off again, but just FYI a nanny would deal with chicken pox. 3 of my 4 charges have had it while I've been here and neither parent has had to take a day off. I know some parents would want to be at home with them anyway, but my employers don't have the sort of jobs where you can take that sort of time off.

DIYapprentice Tue 26-Mar-13 15:43:03

Ah, yes, but I didn't say I would be home, just that DS would be home!!! grin

And yes, I know that a nanny would be expected to deal with these type of illnesses - which is why I'm planning to get a nanny as soon as I can afford it.

OutragedFromLeeds Tue 26-Mar-13 16:09:44

'Ah, yes, but I didn't say I would be home, just that DS would be home!!!'

grin true!!

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 26-Mar-13 18:26:22

op never did come back and comment/update us ......

but as mrs cupcake said, she managed to post on mumsnet a few times with a very poorly child ........

just saying wink

nurseries dont get ill (as so many staff), but if your child does get ill they wont accept them and you need to find childcare/have day off work

cm may run the risk of themselves or their children being ill so cant have yours and you need to find childcare/have day off work, and wont have sick children

nannies may get ill and you may need to find childcare/have day off work, but they will look after sick children

so all 3 childcare settings theres a flaw grin tho in order of reliability i would say

nurseries
nannys
cm

<blondes runs for cover>

Tanith Tue 26-Mar-13 19:08:24

Nurseries do get ill. I've known them to close either partially or fully during epidemics.
Using a term like "unreliable" to comment on one aspect of the care - a child's sickness - is ridiculous and provocative.

Personally, I think minderjinx is spot on when she says this thread has more to do with attracting potential clients than with the sick child.

Fightlikeagirl Tue 26-Mar-13 19:52:09

Totally agree with you Tanith

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 26-Mar-13 20:21:56

what illness would make a nursery shut? i didnt reliese they did iyswim

serious question - not a bashing one smile

IrisGirl Tue 26-Mar-13 20:28:44

i think any method of childcare apart from you looking after your own child can have flaws...CM/nannies/nurseries they all provide a service and sometimes services get hit with illnesses or whatever!!

my DD goes to a childminder 4 days a week and she is the most wonderful woman ever, she really is a godsend. she provides loads of activities for the little ones, takes them out very regularly and is loving and caring and i trust her 150% with the most precious thing in my life.

please stop having a go at those who provide the care for children, whatever institution it may be....none of us working mums would manage without them and we have a lot to thank them for.

i had a row with my boss in work today, shit happens, get over it and move on, it doesn't mean me or him are bad at our jobs or doing something wrong it was just one of those things!!

i think everyone here has made their point and should now leave it at that

happy days people xxx

Tanith Tue 26-Mar-13 20:32:40

Flu epidemic, Blondes. I know because the parents were desperately ringing round trying to find alternative care.

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 26-Mar-13 20:33:49

im not having a go at those who use or provide childcare

just saying what i thought in terms of flexibility/reliability - sure mn allows that .........

and as a nanny i didnt say nannies were best - i actually put nurseries at the top - but as i said i didnt know they shut - tho if they did its rare, but then again its rare a nanny is off (no sick days from me the past 5 + years) but also rare that a cm couldnt have your child as theirs was sick

as i said all have flaws smile

DIYapprentice Tue 26-Mar-13 20:42:04

Blondes - with a young child I would put a nanny above nurseries with reliability. Children frequently get sick, and you have to keep them at home. But nannies (good nannies, anyway) are less likely to get sick enough to need to stay at home - I'd be quite happy for a nanny to have a bit of a duvet day with the DC if he/she were under the weather!

Tanith - And we're talking about reliability from a parent's point of view, as a parent the reason I have childcare is to enable me to work - so any childcare that prevents me from getting to work on a regular basis is 'unreliable'. You seen to be taking the 'unreliability' as a personal insult - when it is just a factual event.

I have had all 3 forms of childcare, nanny (1), nursery (2 - 1 day and 1 community) and CM, (2 different CMs, both with their own DC).

Nanny was by far the most reliable.

blueberryupsidedown Tue 26-Mar-13 20:44:36

But if a child is ill, a nursery will call the parents to collect the child. If the baby is constantly crying, hardly sleeping, hardly taking in fluids because of a bad cold, then parents are required to look after the child. Childminder and nurseries have similar policies. If it's a bad cold and the child is clearly unwell, or if it's D-V, ior if the child has a high temperature, or if it's something very contageous such as chicken pox. I thought the policies were very similar in both nurseries and CMs. Am I wrong?

Karoleann Tue 26-Mar-13 20:47:18

Did the original poster every come back and say if the child had a temperature? At the end of the day if the child did not have a temperature it was very unlikely to be anything serious.
Pyrexia is a consequence of an inflammation/infection in the body, its caused either by the innate immune system reaction to an pathogen or by a bacteria itself. It's very very unlikely unless the child has some immunity problem that there would be no temperature if it was a proper infection.
It's also a bit strange the OP said Mom rather than mum, maybe she's overseas?
Nannies are the only childcare that will look after sick children, but they get sick themselves.
I've been called in to nursery to pick up a sick child only to find they are fine and just teething,.....

ReetPetit Tue 26-Mar-13 21:04:27

i don't think you can put childcare in order of reliability blondes! it's impossible to generalise like that.

as a chilminder i have had very few days off sick (actually can't remember the last one) and if I am away for any reason (i don't charge parents for my holidays or if for any reason i am unavailable) i try my upmost to arrange for another cm (known to child) to cover for me.

on the whole, i find cms to be very reliable. we have more than one family to consider and all the cms i know work like troopers to provide a reliable service!

Tanith Tue 26-Mar-13 21:09:58

DIYApprentice: Then, by your own definition, "unreliable" is the wrong word to use since children are not sick "on a regular basis".

Tanith Tue 26-Mar-13 21:17:24

I'm reminded of the recent adverse weather conditions, when childminders have stayed open while school teachers, nursery staff and nannies have been unable to work.
Does that shove us up a notch in the reliability stakes, do you think? Or does it only count for sick children? grin

DIYapprentice Tue 26-Mar-13 21:24:10

Tanith- trust me, my DC were sick on a 'very regular basis'!!!!

DS2's ear and throat infections came around like clockwork every 3 weeks right through summer and winter.

I'm not saying CMs themselves are unreliable so please stop taking it so personally - I'm saying that as a ''form' of childcare they are less reliable than a nanny.

Both a nanny and a CM can be just as ill as each other (or more to the point are both rarely ill). BUT... if your DC are ill then usually the nanny will still be available to look after them (depending on what it is), and other children's illnesses don't impact on a nanny's care of your DC as they can at a CM's.

Tanith Tue 26-Mar-13 21:53:00

DIYApprentice: And I'm saying you're wrong smile

Nothing personal - certainly not taken personally - just pointing out that you need to take a much wider view if you are going to claim that a "form" of childcare is unreliable and expect to be taken seriously.

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 26-Mar-13 22:21:08

Whoops. What did I start ......

Guess depends how ill your children are / if often sickly or under the weather then a nanny is probably the best option as then parents can still go to work and the Childcare (nanny) will look after them

Snow. I drove the first time and walked the last 1/2mile as family lives at bottom of slope and no way my car would have got up it - let alone me risk sliding down

Snow the other week / I tried to get to my night nanny job but couldn't get up the hill after 2 miles - but then again dad couldn't get home either for a few hours and mum was left alone to deal with children - but I tried smile

ChippingInIsEggceptional Tue 26-Mar-13 22:32:40

I think it's unreasonable to expect a parent to pick up a child because they have 'a cold/are not themselves'. With a policy like that you'd never see some kids! hmm What's the point in having a carer for your child that isn't prepared to look after them when they're a bit under the weather?

Tanith Wed 27-Mar-13 07:48:33

Well that's just not good enough Blondes - haven't you heard of skis; husky teams?! grin
We never closed once wink

<tots up Brownie points>

Blondeshavemorefun Wed 27-Mar-13 08:07:04

Blondesland had much more snow then tanithland [ grin]

No huskies sad but Woofa in old job loved pulling the kiddiewinks and I on sledges

Now that was fun ......

Mb also tied a sledge to him and he pulled their bread and milk home from the shops smile

Tanith Wed 27-Mar-13 21:49:43

I want a Woofa!!! Sounds brilliant grin

Blondeshavemorefun Wed 27-Mar-13 23:55:00

He's lovely - he was think 12 weeks when came to live with us. Barely reached up to my shin.

Now he's waist high

10.5stone of pure muscle

Thinks he's a lap dog - which he isn't lol

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