This topic is for discussing childcare options. If you want to advertise, please use your Local site.

Nanny holiday timing and new baby -HELP

(58 Posts)
blondecat Tue 12-Mar-13 07:28:48

I have a DD aged 2 y 3 m and a nanny. A new baby is arriving mid Summer (31 July)

Obviously the nanny needs a holiday and she wants it in the summer holidays so she can see her family

We have a maternity nurse booked for the baby and a summer nanny, who is her daughter and who already helped for 3 weeks last year will be joining us - the question is when?

The nanny would prefer time off in August. I am not sure if DD would not be more confused by that - she likely forgot the summer nanny and will be alone with her for 6 days when I am in hospital.
On the other hand the summer nanny can drive and swim and works much harder.

blondecat Tue 12-Mar-13 07:31:23

Oops early posting

So when to give the holiday July or August?

DH will take 1 maybe 2 days off for the birth but if he takes any holiday it will be in July. My family may come for a week max in August and his parents may pop in for a day or two but that's it

Pendipidy Tue 12-Mar-13 07:47:18

Blimey...and here are all the rest of us managing our children ourselves....how are you going to cope?....shock

MoYerBoat Tue 12-Mar-13 07:53:49

The nanny wants time off in August to spend time with her family. Therefore you give her time off in August.

ReetPetit Tue 12-Mar-13 07:57:19

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Backinthebox Tue 12-Mar-13 08:07:49

If one has a maternity nurse and a back up nanny, don't think it really matters when one's other nanny goes on holiday. But for gawds sake don't let the housekeeper and gardener go on holiday at the same time! However would you manage? grin

NewRowSees Tue 12-Mar-13 08:09:42

I'm not sure how it's self centred to want to arrange childcare in advance. Some surprisingly unhelpful comments there. I was just going to say I don't think it really matters when the nanny goes on holiday - regardless, there'll be a new person around to get used to, and a baby. I'd let her go in August if that's her preference.

And just being nosy, but why 6 days in hospital? Seems a long time...?

Branleuse Tue 12-Mar-13 08:12:20

I think shes given you more than enough notice tbh. I dont see the problem?

How many staff does a baby need?

ReetPetit Tue 12-Mar-13 08:12:25

lol at backinthebox grin
don't forget the chauffeur darling wink

Zara1984 Tue 12-Mar-13 08:12:32

You should let your regular nanny have time off in August, as is her preference, it's only fair!

6 days should not be an issue - surely your DP will be around a lot too, ie he won't be spending every waking moment at the hospital with you surely?

ZuleikaD Tue 12-Mar-13 08:20:16

You could try looking after your children yourself? Just a thought! grin

ReetPetit Tue 12-Mar-13 08:21:26

grin

Pollydon Tue 12-Mar-13 08:21:44

Your nanny is an employee, and as such has a right to take her annual leave when it suits her. Im sure your dd will be fine with the summer Nanny.
Now, must go & give Cook her orders for the day ...................

blondecat Tue 12-Mar-13 08:45:33

Ouch

DH works 14 hours a day. Last time he stayed in hospital for 12 hours and went on a business trip so he won't be able to help much.

The 6 days is a Swiss standard for c section, which I will need for medical reasons before you get on the "too posh to push" wagon. If things go smoothly i am hoping to sign myself out early. But after DD was born I was in and out of hospital with string of infections for 5 weeks and could hardly move so I am covering my bases.

The nanny's contract states that we agree on holidays that are mutually convenient. That's why I am asking for advice rather than just telling her "no, I will decide". If you think it won't make things much harder for DD that's helpful.

Weissdorn Tue 12-Mar-13 08:52:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

INeverSaidThat Tue 12-Mar-13 08:57:05

I also think that letting the Nanny have time off in August will be ok.

The summer nanny sounds good so I am sure your DD will be ok.

Hope everything goes ok.

Good luck with everything.

Still18atheart Tue 12-Mar-13 08:59:36

if you are worried about your dd not knowing the summer nanny. Why don't you get your dd used to her now. I.e having the summer nanny around on the other nanny's day off, getting both nannies to be working together a couple of days a week . So by the time July/August roles around your dd will be more comfortable with the summer nanny being around.

Zara1984 Tue 12-Mar-13 08:59:47

Fair enough OP

Really do think 6 days with the summer nanny will be fine. Perhaps she can take your DD out on lots of fun outside activities as a special treat, if she is very fit/swimmer/hard worker?

Some people are being quite judgey here. I got a 24/7 maternity nanny for 3 months the birth of DS, in the form of DMIL flying out to us, and then me flying out to family with the baby grin but I was tempted to get a professional one too, I was in such shock when I got home from the hospital.

dinkystinky Tue 12-Mar-13 09:00:55

I dont think it will make things harder for your DD so let your nanny go in August. Make sure you spend plenty of quality time yourself with your DD, and let the maternity nurse/summer nanny look after the baby a bit for you. Hope all goes well with the birth and everything.

Backinthebox Tue 12-Mar-13 09:09:19

OK, on a slightly more serious note. OP, lots depends on the employment contract and working relationship you have with your nanny (the main one, not the back up one.) My nanny has a contract which says she may take the same number of days a year holiday as I am given by my employer. I work 50%, so get 14 days leave. My nanny works 50%, so she gets 14 days too. 4 of those are Bank holidays and that's when she takes them. 5 of the other days I choose, the remaining 5 she chooses, but is to choose before my work roster is allocated in order to allow me to accommodate her holiday by ensuring I get those days off work. This is set out in her contract and was agreed when she first started working for us. So there are no surprises to either me or my nanny.

If you have a good working relationship with her, she will surely see that you are going to have a baby in the summer. Why not discuss the possibility with her now that you would prefer her, just for this year, not to take her holiday in the month your baby is due. In most normal working environments, people ask their boss for holiday but if they are busy then, the request may not be granted. Eg, I work in the travel industry - it's really hard to get Christmas, Easter or the school holidays off because it doesn't suit my employer, and a friend works as an accountant - year end (March-April boundary) is very difficult for her to get leave. If you nanny has children in school, perhaps she would like to consider taking her main family holiday at Easter or summer half term this year? You are giving her plenty of notice.

Next - wtf is your children's father? Why is your daughter going to be alone for 6 days with a woman she doesn't know (if Nanny No 2 is there.) I'm taking it you are having a planned CS at a hotel private hospital with that length of stay. (Unless you have a medical problem, in which case I apologise for my insensitivity.) I had an EmCS and several other problems, and was out of hospital in 5 days with baby1. If you are having a planned CS, your OH should have that written in big red letters in his diary already, and be with you in hospital when you want a visit, and at home to make breakfast for your other child and to read her her bedtime story. In this case, your other child should be fine with another person looking after her for a bit. If your OH is NOT going to be around, leave the bastard now, divorce him and take half his (apparently) considerable cash!

If all of us have read between the lines, and in the background of your 'woe is me, I'm going to be down to my last 2 private childcare professionals for a couple of weeks - how will I manage' is actually a story of you needing help because you are severely disabled or something, it would probably have been worth you mentioning this. Otherwise people are just going to have a little giggle about how the entitled few live. Let's face it - not having one's regular nanny because you can't sort out an employment contract properly is a bit of a first world problem, isn't it?

Fwiw, I have a nanny, and had a private midwife and a housekeeper when I had baby2. I had reasons other than 'I am loaded and I'm worth it,' some of them medical. I just didn't feel the urge to come on here and have a weird stealth boast about it!

AndBingoWasHisNameOh Tue 12-Mar-13 09:09:46

Ignore the bitchy comments OP. Given your OH is essentially unavailable, you’re having a c-section, will have a toddler to deal with and you can presumably afford it then there is absolutely nothing wrong in getting in help. Some people on here are really snotty about paying for help when they wouldn’t think twice about their Dh taking time off and family helping out. And if you work as a nanny then like most other jobs you cannot unilaterally decide what dates you want off – yesterday I had to say no to the dates one of my team have asked for to go on holiday because they just don’t work for the business and she is going to have to take another time off instead.

Anyway to turn to your actual question, how about the latter half of August – toddler will be starting to adjust to new baby and maternity nurse/summer nanny will be familiar.

Backinthebox Tue 12-Mar-13 09:12:32

Crossed posts with OP. DH needs to realise he is a father, and talk to his bosses now. Switzerland seems to be a bit rubbish with their paternity leave, but to go off on a business trip is a bit crap.

nannynick Tue 12-Mar-13 09:43:54

Current nanny covers the time you are in hospital. Summer nanny then covers whilst reg nanny takes holiday.
perhaps have a day overlap if reg nanny needs to give any training to summer nanny and for your DD to get familiar with summer nanny again.

Whatever you do there are big changes for your DD as they have a new sibling. Just go with the flow, make sure DD knows that there is one person who is there to care for her.

megandraper Tue 12-Mar-13 09:54:58

I'm going to go against the grain, and say that if it was me, I would want DC1 to be looked after by someone s/he was very familiar with in that time (mum away, new baby appearing). I was very concerned about that when I was having DC2 and DC3, (in my case it was easier, as DH and grandparents were all available). I know that my children at age 2 would have been very disturbed at being in the sole care of a stranger (perhaps they were wusses!)

In your situation I would probably discuss with your regular nanny, and find out how important the exact timing of her holiday is to her. If it's important, then I would let her have it (and try everything to make your DH be around at least some of the time, and definitely not away on a business trip) If she is willing to change dates without feeling hard done by, i would gratefully accept (and give her a bonus or perhaps an extra week's holiday to be taken at another time in the year) - keeping your regular nanny happy is important for the ongoing relationship.

People have been quite snippy, but rich people have problems too, and I imagine that most value the emotional well-being of their children! I would really question your DH though - I appreciate he doubtless has a high-flying job - but what is the point of being important if you can't control your own time when it will make a big difference to your family?

megandraper Tue 12-Mar-13 09:55:57

p.s. - my father was at work for a lot of the time during my childhood - but I have very strong memories of the time I was with him when my younger sibling was born. I was about your DC's age. Your DH could build something memorable from this time.

ZuleikaD Tue 12-Mar-13 09:57:10

I agree your OH should absolutely be taking the week off you are having your section and really should take the following week as well. Your DD will have enough to cope with without you disappearing for a week, leaving her with a stranger and coming home with a new sibling. IMO the best way to do it would be to start the maternity nurse after your husband goes back to work and ask your regular nanny to take her holiday as far towards the end of August as possible so the backup nanny isn't your DD's carer while you are in hospital and DD has had a couple of weeks to get used to the new arrival. So:
31 July baby arrives
7 August OH back to work (if can't be persuaded to spend more time with family)
7 August maternity nurse starts
21 August regular nanny goes on holiday, backup nanny arrives

Or something like that.

Presumably the maternity nurse is there to hand you the baby for feeds while your section cut heals so will only be there for a few weeks.

PearlyWhites Tue 12-Mar-13 10:05:52

Don't understand why your dh would take time off in July not August ? Also why on earth do you need a nanny other than to care for your dd when you are in hospital?

Helpexcel Tue 12-Mar-13 10:07:25

I think your dp / dh should be called upon more than I get the impression he would like. Then your dd will be able to cope in the transition period of new sibling alot better.

ToTeachOrNotToTeach Tue 12-Mar-13 10:14:02

Do you not like to look after your children at all yourself? Or are you anxious simply as you haven't had to look after them yourself before?

If summer nanny is main nanny's daughter can't you have summer nanny once a week from now or something to get her used to her? Or a run alongside each other for a few weeks?

I'm not quite sure if its a real post though. .

Xiaoxiong Tue 12-Mar-13 10:19:42

OP does your DH have restrictions on his holiday which means he can only take time off in July? I would definitely expect him to move heaven and earth to take his paternity leave.

I would let your nanny go in August too. Will keep her happy, I don't think it will upset your DD too much and the summer nanny can do lots of fun things with her to distract her.

Also I can't believe some of the comments on this thread - this is the nannies & aupairs section FFS, it's the section designated to talk about employees who provide childcare in your home!! And I don't think posting in the section labelled as such counts as a "stealth boast".

I like NannyNick's idea. Usual nanny for the first week of August while you're in hospital, then when you're back, have the back up nanny and the usual one could go on holiday.

People are being mean. I would have loved a nanny/maternity nurse when DS was a newborn. I could never have afforded one, so it wasn't happening, but no way would I have turned it down if I could have had one...

Karoleann Tue 12-Mar-13 10:57:50

More really helpful comments again from the "chip on their shoulder" brigade FFS if you don't have anything useful to say just don't bloody post. If you all had just had a section and no husband at home and a two year old to look after you would take all the help you could get.

I don't think you should leave your daughter with the summer nanny whilst you're in hospital. How long does your regular nanny want off? Maybe if she went away from the 10th August? You'd be back by the 6th, then have a few days together and maybe an overlapping day with both nannies.

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 12-Mar-13 13:38:20

when does the nanny want her holiday?beg of aug or middle?

in the ideal world it would be nice for your nanny to be around while you are having baby/cs dd1 to look after and re assure , esp if you in hospital, daddy/dh away and new baby arriving all at the same time

and then once you are home , hopefully 7 aug if not before for her to go on holiday, you can then have mn to help you and summer nanny

having a stranger/summer nanny while you are in hospital isnt the best idea

drinkyourmilk Tue 12-Mar-13 13:55:40

I would want my regular nanny around during and after the birth. As a nanny I would be a bit miffed that I couldn't have my holiday when I wanted, but would completely understand.
Just talk to her and explain how you feel. Ask when the next best time would be for her to have leave and accommodate that.
Re summer care, is it possible to do a couple of days handover so your dd can get to know the temp a bit?

Seb101 Tue 12-Mar-13 14:44:34

Honestly.... I'd give the nanny, summer nanny and maternity nurse 2 weeks off in aug!!!
I'd then TELL my DH that he will need to take those 2 weeks off! He has loads of time to arrange his work/business. This is an amazing and priceless time for a family. You should all be together. Having loads of hired help in and out of your house sounds horrendous! It should be mum, dad, toddler and newborn, all together, muddling along! Ask grandparents for the odd bit of babysitting if needed. Those first 2 weeks should be family time in my opinion. Any father that won't take time off to support his wife and help with the children is a complete waste of space imo. He needs a kick up the arse!

Weissdorn Tue 12-Mar-13 18:25:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MoYerBoat Tue 12-Mar-13 20:51:46

Oh come on! No-one is that important that they can't take time off when their baby is born - especially if they know the exact date.

IroningBoredDaily Tue 12-Mar-13 21:05:17

Wow! What a predicament! grin

If something as life changing as a new baby was occurring in my family I would absolutely ensure dc1 was being cared for by a familiar face.

I would in fact make sure that Dh had that time off to care for his dd, visit me in hospital and bring dd to visit me aswell.

ReetPetit Tue 12-Mar-13 21:30:19

something tells me op's dh isn't stacking shelves in asda or working in mac d's hmm

he is choosing to take time off, is he not, op? in which case, you really need to rethink your priorities (both of you) they should be spending time with your dc - not employing additional help. if you can't even take the time to be together at a time like this, what is the point in it all???

Xiaoxiong Tue 12-Mar-13 22:06:02

Look, the OP needs childcare, she can afford childcare, she posts in the section to do with childcare about arranging said childcare in a way that's in the best interests of her DD. And then a bunch of people take that as licence to pile in to make incredibly unhelpful comments.

What's the point of commenting on the OP's financial circumstances or attacking her DH's dedication to their family? They're ad hominem attacks and have no connection to her issue with sorting out the holiday issue.

Weiss is right in that there are some jobs where you can't take time off when a baby is born, and there are some countries (eg. the USA!) where there is no legal right to ANY paid paternity or maternity leave.

My DH works in a boarding school and is in loco parentis for his students at some points in the year. He has had trouble in the past arranging cover as other teachers have similar responsibilities. When I went 12 days overdue when DS was born - thereby using up 12 of his 14 days of arranged stand-by cover - he wouldn't have been able to take more time off. I'm sure there are other jobs that have similar restrictions or difficulties but I'm speaking solely from personal experience.

PowerPants Wed 13-Mar-13 00:52:47

Good post xiao.

OP has the choice. Without people like OP there would be fewer jobs for nannies, housekeepers and the like.

Which would be a bad thing, right??

ZuleikaD Wed 13-Mar-13 06:17:17

Sorry Xiao, but if the family can afford this plethora of childcare professionals there's no shortage of cash, so a week's unpaid paternity leave (or actual holiday, which even in the US is an entitlement) isn't going to break the bank.

There always seems to be a presumption on this board that childcarers are automatically in favour of paid-for childcare in whatever circumstances. That's not generally the case - speaking for myself I believe it's better for children to be cared for by parents. Though I'm a CM I'm a backup - it is almost never better for a child to be cared for by someone other than its parents (other than in social-services type situations).

Seb101 Wed 13-Mar-13 08:17:59

No jobs that bloody important that you can't take time off for the birth of your baby! Seriously, it's a job! Very very few jobs are 'can't take time off, large majority are 'wont! Unless he's the blooming prime minister! Even then I'd say take time off! I realise op wants to hire help, I don't think it's 'unhelpful' to offer an opposing opinion.

Weissdorn Wed 13-Mar-13 08:59:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Seb101 Wed 13-Mar-13 10:03:11

Completely understand, but your situation is probably very different to op's. If op can afford to hire nannies and maternity nurses money is probably not the issue. If money is tight and DH has to work to provide for the family, that's sad that he misses out on those special first days/weeks, but understandable.

Backinthebox Wed 13-Mar-13 13:57:07

Well, sticking my hand up again - OH is MD of his company, we have a nanny, and had a private midwife who came every day for the first 2 weeks to help establish BFing etc. We had a part time housekeeper for the couple of months around when DS was born in order to keep the place tidy, do the laundry and to sort out the weekly food shop. I earn a reasonable amount of money, so we can afford what are essentially luxuries - people to run around after us! I would have strung OH up by his goolies if he had popped out on a business trip while I was in hospital!

Tony Blair and David Cameron both had babies in office - they managed a couple of days off with the newest members of their families!

BobbiFleckmann Wed 13-Mar-13 14:02:38

the types of job which pay salaries which can cover multiple staff probably don't give great flexibility in time off. Board meetings for eg a large multinational / bank aren't easily moved for one person whether or not they have a new baby etc. OP at least recognises that. Cameron's baby was born in summer recess wasn't she? they were on holiday so must've been (careful planning on timing there?). can't remember about Blair's but as she so charmingly revealed in her memoir, the baby was a "surprise".

ZuleikaD Wed 13-Mar-13 15:08:26

Sorry, Bobbi, but that's rubbish. With this much notice you're not going to tell me that a CEO or whatever can't tell his secretary "don't schedule me any meetings for two weeks after the 31 July because I'll be at home on paternity leave."

Weissdorn Wed 13-Mar-13 15:30:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BobbiFleckmann Wed 13-Mar-13 16:03:16

Even the CEO can't - if audited accounts have to be signed off before year end / if it's a PLC and it's a public meeting / dates of AGMs are set months & months ahead and normally tie into specific events and therefore can't be moved. Many, many reasons for it. When people are paid many millions a year, they really earn their keep

ZuleikaD Wed 13-Mar-13 16:29:22

Who has their year end or AGM in the first week of August??

LadyHarrietdeSpook Wed 13-Mar-13 16:32:40

(LHdeSp starting to get really really stressed by this thread and is about to start shouting...)

A company's financial year end is not always in December!!!!!!!

(why am I engaging, why am I engaging with this thread...?)

ZuleikaD Wed 13-Mar-13 17:00:57

In any case it's entirely moot because none of us has any idea what the OP's husband does, it's just that some are more inclined to make excuses for him!

LadyHarrietdeSpook Wed 13-Mar-13 17:17:05

Exactly. None of us has any idea what he does.

LadyHarrietdeSpook Wed 13-Mar-13 17:19:28

Nice name by the way, Zulieka Dobson from the book is it?

ZuleikaD Wed 13-Mar-13 17:54:15

Yes, I happened to have been reading it when I was signing up here and it was the first name that came to mind!

LadyHarrietdeSpook Wed 13-Mar-13 17:55:41

Hijack: it was on my name list for DD2. Was told no. But really like the name.

MGMidget Thu 14-Mar-13 09:51:51

I can think of many work situations where someone well paid in a senior position would be told holiday was not allowed at certain times owing to business priorities. In fact, even in not so well paid jobs it happens. The OP and husband can afford a maternity nurse and nanny so they have professional support at this tricky time. Not unreasonable for Op to ask for advice and some comments are veering off track and not helpful. OP I think late August would work for the nanny's holiday so that your DD has the reassurance of a familiar face when you are in hospital and in the aftermath when you come home. The fact that the maternity nurse and summer nanny are mother and daughter hopefully means they will be a strong team if working alongside one another so having the summer nanny arrive whilst the maternity nurse is still there could work very well.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now