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how do I approach this with cm - nappy changes

(35 Posts)
Filibear Wed 02-Jan-13 20:28:55

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Roseformeplease Wed 02-Jan-13 20:31:09

Tell her that the doctor / midwife has asked for an hourly / two hourly nappy change and ask her to keep a record of it so you can show them so they can rule out nappy changing as the cause.

UsedToBeAContender Wed 02-Jan-13 20:33:46

I think the only thing to do is be direct about it. You don't have to be arsey or impolite but it's a valid question. I certainly wouldn't be happy about it, particularly if his nappy rash cleared up so quickly at home.

I remember picking my DS up from nursery and he was wearing the same nappy as when I had dropped him off! They claimed it had been changed but it still had the same marks on the front where I had tried to wipe off some baked beans he'd eaten for breakfast and dropped on his clean nappy. angry

ReetPetit Wed 02-Jan-13 20:50:04

I think you are entitled to be direct about it.it sounds as though shes slacking,having 2 children is no excuse,it should be part of her daily routine and is a basic care need. I would tell her how bad his nappy rash was,make the point of putting in plenty of nappies and whatever cream you use and ask her to keep a record of how many nappy changes she does.

Fwiw i do one in the morning,one after sleep and one at hoe time and always as soon as they poo. I did used to have a child who always did liquid poo which leaked and needed clothes changing daily but if this is not the case with your ds then she just sounds lazy,my worry as a mum would be,if shes lazy with this,what else is she lazy with??

Filibear Wed 02-Jan-13 21:15:37

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ReetPetit Wed 02-Jan-13 21:21:33

i really don't think you are over reacting/overthinking things. it's a basic need she is not meeting, which worries me to be honest. you know your ds bowel habits - if he doesn't have very loose poos which come through his clothes at home and if doesn't suffer regular nappy rashes when with you, then it is clearly something she is doing/not doing.
does she make any mention of the nappy rashes? whenever i notice a child is sore, i write it in their diary. she should at least be showing she is aware of it if nothing else.
are you happy with her in all other ways?

HSMM Wed 02-Jan-13 21:25:08

Is she using a different size/brand of nappy, or putting them on more loosely? Are her wipes/lotion a different brand which he's more sensitive to? Whether she's doing everything perfectly, or not responding to his needs fast enough, then she should be more than happy to talk to you about it.

ReetPetit Wed 02-Jan-13 21:29:43

yes,good point. do you provide nappies/wipes/cream?

Ohhelpohnoitsa Wed 02-Jan-13 21:34:57

my parents sometimes are the same - we have worked out they have absolutely no sense of smell. sometimes i would open the door and practically wretch at the smell of a stale, sat in for ages nappy. parents had no clue. didnt take us long to work out!! Now if they have dc, they check him every hour.

Filibear Wed 02-Jan-13 21:46:43

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ReetPetit Wed 02-Jan-13 21:50:03

she is being lazy then. if she is using your nappies and wipes, she is just not bothering to change him. ask her to keep a diary and let her know you are on to her. she might start to buck her ideas up, if not, i would find someone else to be honest (sorry,probably not want you want to hear i know)

bevelino Wed 02-Jan-13 21:54:20

Changing a nappy is very basic care and I do wonder what else she might be neglecting to do.

fairimum Wed 02-Jan-13 21:57:37

could it be her using different wipes as to why he is sore? just my dd gets very sore very quick if use anything other than the huggies pure wipes?

BrianButterfield Wed 02-Jan-13 22:00:18

I would be annoyed at that. At DS's nursery they manage to do nappies a minimum of 3x a day and more when needed. They seem to be pretty quick on the uptake (it was hilarious one day at pick up watching them try to locate a rogue stinker...)

filibear Thu 03-Jan-13 20:08:29

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Lala29 Thu 03-Jan-13 20:39:33

I would move you DS as soon as possible. A nappy rash with the severity you describe is not on in my opinion. Not changing him as you requested and 4.5 hrs later is absolutely unacceptable. I would also consider letting ofsted know!

filibear Thu 03-Jan-13 20:44:04

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ReetPetit Thu 03-Jan-13 21:06:21

shock i haven't seen your other thread, but omg, that is terrible!! she is very,very neglectful. 4.5 hrs is too long imo even without a nappy rash - you have asked her to change him regularly and she still hasn't - she can't even make an effort for one day! And being on twitter all day is terrible. you should move your ds asap. You are not overeacting. you and your ds deserve better than that. there are many wonderful,hardworking childminders out there.sadly for you, you have a bad one there.

NatashaBee Thu 03-Jan-13 21:12:03

DS's nursery changes nappies every 2 hours, or more if dirty. I know from the rate that they go through his nappies at, that they do actually do the changes they claim to. I can't imagine how sore he'd be if he was left all day in a dirty nappy. I would definitely move him, although i'd make sure i had a new minder lined up before giving notice to the old one. For all you know while she's posting on twitter, he could be playing with the oven or something far worse than a dirty nappy.

filibear Thu 03-Jan-13 21:17:52

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ReetPetit Thu 03-Jan-13 21:18:14

is your ds happy at the cms? what does his daily diary say - does she got out or is she on twitter all day? i'm so shocked by that - how did you find out?

at home i only change my son morning lunch and bedtime unless he poos he wears pampers and doesnt get that wet. Childminder does 3 changes a day in 9hr day more if needed. Nursery change every few hrs so for both I send sainsburys or aldi nappies as changed so often.

I would move him as all trust has gone and I would inform her you will be reporting to ofsted her lack of care to your child -take a photo of his bottom and also keep daily diary as evidence.

filibear Thu 03-Jan-13 21:24:11

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eleanorrubysmummy Thu 03-Jan-13 21:24:32

You say ds is happy with the cm...but don't most young children settle swiftly with ne wpeople?? Our dd had to change cm suddenly & settled within a couple of days (whilst I had a nervous breakdown due to guilt!) I fully understand what you are saying, but seriously, Twitter vs childcare??? Hmmm, perhaps cm needs to re-think her career choice!

filibear Thu 03-Jan-13 21:28:07

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I worried changing my little one at 18mths when he had been with cm for 9mths but actually what I did was increase nursery to 2 days and took husband and I took 3weeks worth of the other 2 days off as annual leave to settle him with new minder before he started properly and yeah he cried first 2 days (he does split week as only days she had) and settled quickly now 10mths on he prefers cm to nursery in fact last 2 days has said no nursery go "x" so he will be pleased tommorow is a cm day

ReetPetit Thu 03-Jan-13 21:32:38

don't worry about moving him, young children are very adaptable. i have had children of mine go to other cms when i have gone on maternity leave twice, and they have all settled really well within days. i have also taken on other cms children for similiar reasons and again,it's been fine.
don't beat yourself up about it. you can not leave him there now, not knowing what you know. take comfort in that he is secure and has been happy there, if he has settled once, he will do so again. but she is being very neglectful and that is a real worry.

izzyhasanewchangeling Thu 03-Jan-13 21:34:20

Move him. I wouldnt leave mine there, how awful for him/.

I pulled my eldest out of nursery on the spot, because I heard one of the nursery nurses shouting at the children, and she wasnt even shouting at mine.

eleanorrubysmummy Thu 03-Jan-13 21:34:31

How would dh feel if ds were to deveolp an infection due to nappy rash?? Or if he were to fall & hurt himself whilst cm was Twittering????? crikey, that's why kids need Mums!!! I'm sure he would be fine but trust your gut.....if you're worried now, it'll increase. sad

HSMM Thu 03-Jan-13 22:29:22

If a parent asked me to change a sore child regularly due to nappy rash, I would do exactly as they asked.

redandwhitesprinkles Thu 03-Jan-13 22:40:24

I change my own kids every 3 hours and I am quite lax. I would be worried about the twitter addiction. My kids have enough benign neglect while I -- mn-- clean without the carers I pay to look after them ignoring them in favour of their phone.

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 03-Jan-13 22:46:55

Your poor ds sad he obv isn't being changed enough and being in same nappy for 4.5hrs when has nappy rash is shock

Regards twitter / I'm not on it but sure she can pop a quick tweet on it - just like us nannies and cm may reply on here while working

Either way you are not happy with the care so yes move ds. He will be fine and bond with his new Carer

In her defence I will say there is a boy I nanny for every now and again and he has a very healthy diet (tons of fruit and veg)and poos regularly and when teething he literally gets a very sore bum within minutes and I've been known to change a few times an hour and still sore sad

doughnut44 Thu 03-Jan-13 22:52:36

I am a CM and I have a child who is sent home with poo on his vest almost daily - not down to my nappy changing - just the childs poo. I change nappies as and when needed, before playgroups, before leaving playgroup, after lunch/before nap, and around 4pm.
I don't do twitter but if the children are asleep I will go on facebook or check my messages. I refuse to get an ipod type phone as it's too tempting to check things. As for eleanorrubysmummys comment about kids needing mums - I can't begin to tell you how many mums are at playgroups and even music sessions where they are supposed to interact with their children, that are faffing about on their blooming phones.
You are obviously not happy with your cm so I would recommend you change asap.

Lala29 Thu 03-Jan-13 23:08:14

My childminder barely has time to respond to texts, let alone be on twitter all day! Please don't beat yourself up about this and don't let your DH talk you out of changing. Mistakes happen, we can never predict what people will be like. She is caring for the most precious thing in your life. If you can't trust her on a simple thing like nappy changing, bigger issues are likely to follow.
I am sure your son will settle in a different environment just as easily. Good luck

filibear Fri 04-Jan-13 09:13:15

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