Mumsnet Talk

Thought I'd post about this here too. I posted a while back on 'behaviour & development'

here is the original thread

The situation is:

a) I work from home 20 hours a week, a part-time nanny looks after our 15 month DS for those hours (she's been with us since he was 5 months)
b) I try to hide away in the loft to do the work, since this supposedly eases his separation anxiety
c) This doesn't necessarily work. First because in practice my nanny calls out for me sometimes to ask things, second because I'm not perfectly organized & sometimes have to dash downstairs for something (not often). But most importantly because I'm distracted by hearing him crying / laughing / whatever & often just plain miss him & find excuses to go down & see him
d) The nanny is going out less nowadays because of the bad weather making it very hard indeed to concentrate on my work
e) The worst thing is the huge guilt that I feel with the whole arrangement, which I have to say I don't feel when I'm out & about (because I know DS is in good hands). But I can't manage to work often in other places because I have my books/papers/computer programs at home...The guilt is at its worst on those days when I don't get much work done (e.g. today, because last night we hardly slept at all). In those occasions I don't really manage to rest because of the noise (toddler screaming / laughing etc) but also because of the guilt i.e. I should be there playing with him, instead I'm here resting ( not actually resting...)

Any ideas / practical suggestions from nannies or parents who have been in this situation?

Could you work at a local library? Or rent some office space?

The only other option is to tell your nanny you are not to be disturbed unless it's urgent. I have been working from home all day today and although it's been noisy at times, which is distracting, my nanny hasn't bothered me once.

Working from home is always going to be tricky with a child in the house. You need to try to isolate yourself away somewhere that you can't hear the noise. The loft doesn't seem to be working... what other places could relocate to? Is having a home-office building in the garden an option? Is there some other room in the house which offers greater sound proofing?

"often just plain miss him & find excuses to go down & see him" - you need to train your mind to be in 'work mode'... pretend you are somewhere a long way from your DS. Tricky to do, especially when you can hear your DS as your will naturally want to respond to certain noises he makes.

Your nanny also needs to train their mind to not think that you are at home... instead that you are at work and thus are not to be contacted unless it is a life-or-death situation (well you know what I mean). Your nanny has been with you for 10 months so does not need to ask you things as a matter of urgency. She/he can write things down in a notebook/diary and you can respond to those things for the following day.

Encourage your nanny to take your DS out more, even in winter. Additional money may be needed for activities - as those activities will be more indoor activities rather than walks in the park (though that can still be done if the weather isn't totally fowl). I was out of the home today from 8.30ish till just after 2pm with the toddler for whom I care. Toddler group followed by going swimming and lunch out. Both DB and MB were at home... thus we kept out of the way as much as possible, so they were not disturbed too much.

Thanks for the advice

In this and the other thread (to which I'd originally posted this question) I've basically got more or less the same advice, that is to either leave home when I have to work, or that our nanny & DS leave. It seems that at this point- now that he's 15 months- it's not possible for me to work from home with him there. Or at least it's very hard.

The latter option (nanny & DS going out) is a bit harder because our DS is only 15 months & naps at home after lunch so needs to be at home a big chunk of the time. Plus our nanny so far has mostly been taking him to the local parks / playgrounds & only very occasionally to soft play activities (but she said she'll increase this now that it's winter). So I've decided that I'll be working away from home from now on, at a local cafe and local library (I've decided where). For now I think this is the best solution...