I have a fabber than fab CM in all but one respect.

I am not happy with the food she gives DD (18m). I provide breakfast, she gives DD lunch snacks & dinners. I used to provide lunch & dinners myself but as DD got older this got a real hassle. I work full time long hours, long commute and I really was fed up of spending all weekend cooking for the freezer and I get home too late in the evening to cook a proper meal & send leftovers.

Anyhow, its snacks mainly that is the problem at the CM. CM gave DD chocolate and crisps well before her 1st birthday and continues to do so. I am not particularly opposed to a bit of chocolate as a snack, but really don't want it on a regular basis. I really dislike the idea of her having any crisps because they are so salty and she doesn't drink enough as it is, and suffers with dehydration related constipation. CM gives Wotsits all the time and I hate the idea of all the articifial colourings etc. She also has a bizarre idea of how much food an 18m needs - 3 bananas in one day is surely extreme (just because DD has learnt to say "'na-na" - she's not asking to eat a banana, she's saying, look, there's a banana over there and I know what its called!). Today she had a whole chocolate croissant for a snack.

I know I should have raised it before now but I didn't, mainly because it took me a while to realise the extent of unhealthy snacks from throw away comments, and I used to think that the odd thing wouldn't hurt her even if it wasn't something I would feed her myself. But daily now she seems to have crisps as part of her lunch. How do I put this without offending my CM. She genuinely doesn't see anything wrong with it and her kids regularly eat chocolate laden cereal for breakfast and I think have quite a lot of sugary & salty snacks. The dinners she cooks are usually pretty healthy and she does give fruit & veg as well so its not all bad.

I know I should just tell her no crisps or chocolate but I would be very grateful for suggestions so as not to cause offence!

Can you use the tummy thing?Say that she has seen the doctor as you are concerned about constipation and that doc has said no salt and no processed food? I would not normally recommend lying but it might save feelings being hurt!

I think you either have to accept it or provide your own - it's not your place to educate her about food. Or you could lie massively and say the dr has raised concerns over her dehydration and general health so she isn't allowed crisps and so on!
Sorry if that's not much help.

Maybe you could just say that you have been advised to stop giving her those things to help her constipation so maybe she could leave them out? Just an idea

Hi, Mrs Pickles

I am not surprised you are not happy with as much chocolate and crisps.

Does your CM do a diary for your child?

If so and you are a bit not sure about talking to her, what about putting in the diary that you are worried about her constipation, so could she please just give fruit {but not bananas, they make constipation worse) for snacks and cut down the chocolate and junk?

But really she should no this anyway, the new EYFS, has quite a bit about healthy eating in it.

As you have said she is fab in every other way, I would just come out with it, you seem to have a good relationship.

Thanks all, seems like everyone has had the same idea about the constipation! It has crossed my mind to say that. Only difficulty its a bit weird to raise it now on the basis of her constipation as I've almost solved the problem by having a big push to get the CM to enourage her to drink water which has worked well. I suppose I could say that I went to the doctor for something else and mentioned that she occasionally suffers from constipation and he was very firm that chocolate and crisps are the devil's own snacks when it comes to bowel movements!

Shoshe - yes, CM does keep a diary but she doesn't write down everything she eats in it and I have never written in the diary. I think I will have to speak to her - we do get on well otherwise. Perhaps I should email her first and then speak to her once she's read the email [wimp icon]. I think she will find it hard to give alternate snacks as she gives same thing to all the other mindees and her own kids and DD goes wild when she sees a packet of crisps now. Sigh. I could start sending those prohibitively expensive Organix crisps I suppose.

Luckylady, you're absolutely right, its not my place to educate her about food - I don't want to sound patronising when I say I don't like crisps & chocolate for DD. Its so hard to know what to say and I know it will cause practical problems for her, mainly because DD will want what the other kids have, even if I send her snacks.

just say no chocs or crisps....you are paying for her to look after your child your way...thsi is what my ex-childminder told me...or am I missing something here?

WE have 'junk' snack on a Friday (schoolies call it JunkFood Friday) always the same day then the Parents dont put Crisps in their lunch boxes that day.)

But the rest of the week we have fruit, snackajacks, rice cakes, opocorn, things that are not bad for them but fun.

And the tray of fruit is put out first ONCE that has gone then they may have something else, and it is not a packet each, I make up a tray of things (about a handful each) and they help them selves.

I'm a CM. Would never dream of feeding a mindee such junk. One of my nieces' is 7, I've given her junk ONCE in her life.

Dosen't your CM have a healthy eating policy?

Why do parents, (and CM's on here) seem to always go for the softly softly approach?

Why is it soo taboo to speak one's mind?

agree with bookwrapper

you are paying her so say to her you dont want your dd to eat that stuff

once in a while fine, every day no

If I were you i think i would go down the doctors root say something about the doctor has advised not to have as many crisps etc. Because you havent said anything before the childminder doesnt no that you have a problem with it. and as for 3 bananas in 1 day for a 18months !!! thats too much.

oops didnt mean that smiley face icon above it meant to be a shocked face lol sorry

I think you have every right to be concerned, she's your DD and you want to make sure she is eating the right kind of foods. At 18 months you don't want her getting hooked on junk.

I would definitely raise this concern with the CM. If it were me, I would tell her that you want to discuss DD's diet, and ask the CM for a convenient time when you can talk about it.

You have to be honest and open with her, and this can be done in a nice way.

as a professional she should know about healthy food etc. i have a policy and only provide healthy meals and snacks. get her to provide a diary (she should be anyway) with the food she gives your child. dont worry about telling her, you are afterall, paying her.

choc and crisps before age 1?!

you need to say something,she is your child and if you are not happy ....

she could offer plain crackers,cheese cubes,fruit,yogurts,home made (sweet and savoury)things ( so know whats in them!)

can you batch make some flapjacks,muffins etc once a month ( they freeze well) and send some in with her ?

good luck
xx

I think there's no need to be softly softly at all, it's your child and she should be doing what you wish her to do - she should also be very up on providing healthy snacks and limiting junk as much as possible ( whilst not "demonising" it at the same time of course!) as all CM are supposed to be aware and have policies on Healthy Eating.

Just talk to her, she won't bite

the ONLY thing you need to do here is speak to her...really if she is a fab cm in every other way then you should be able o talk to her!
She IS in the wrong reg the type of food and regularity of it, she should know better than this as we all are told what guidlines we must work too!..my mindees on occasion get a pasty or hot dog if we're out and about as a kind of treat, fridays is treat day, on way home frmo school they all get chupa chup lolly or freddo bar, other than that they may bake and eat cakes one a week/fortnight and then meals are sandwhiches/wraps/bagels with ham/cheese/pate/chicken & salad in or soups etc..'quick' food but not crap..they NEVER get crsps, my dd hardly does either and drinks are water/cordial(sugar free) or milk..this is basically were she needs to start from, some cm's make, lovely home cooked meals each day.

I would just say to her you are monitoring your child's eating 'at home' if you think that sounds better and can you make sure they dont have crisps or sweets(except maybe once a week as a treat) and that her intake of bananas is limited to one a day max as your worried more than that will cause constimpation due to her age and tiny tummy.
If you request this and she still goes against it, then you have another problem, but hope it works, good luck

sorry yes, snacks/deserts here are yogurts, cheese, bread sticks, cherry toms, cucumber, carrot sticks etc..i personally dont eat very well myself, although i try but these are someone elses children, i try the same with my own, so regardless of her lifesyle, she needs to abide by yours..its not hard, really and i assume shes had to attend the minimum of food hygeine course which will cover some of it?

I think you should talk to her too, just be honest and tell her that you arent comfortable with dd having crisps and chocolate so often. Explain how you did on here, you sound very reasonable, I agree that these things are ok in moderation but not at every meal! I also agree with others and am surprised that she doesn't have a healthy eating policy and am surprised that she is still comfortable with giving this type of snack in light of the eyfs regulations.

I think to soften the blow (and totally understand why you feel afraid of bringing this up), you could say that you think she is fantastic and that you are so happy with her service, but just feel uncomfortable with dd having crisps and chocolate regularly.

Good luck!

I think it is your place to educate her about your daughter's dietary requirements and your preferences. You should certainly be able to make broad stipulations without having to provide all your own food. She's a childminder, you're a client - if she's worth her salt (pardon the pun) she will wantto listen and accommodate you.

Use the constipation as a conversation-opener, then just tell her you're not comfortable with this level of gumph. You can also take the opportunity to tell her she is fabber than fab

Are you a childcare professional luckylady74?

I don't think there is any need to make anything up or think too long and hard about this.
If the lady is a fab childminder (as you suggest) She should not mind in the slightest if you agree together a healthier diet.

i am a parent, same worries. once collected dd (now 23m) and CM had left a capri-sun 'juice drink' and pack of hula hoops in the buggy. i was sooo shocked!

also i know she takes dd to macdonalds (where i never, ever go and don't want the dcs to go really) and feeds her chips and lets her eat the food she (CM) eats!

dread to think what else.

so - i provide expensive snacks. every day 2 pieces fruit, organix cereal bars, rice cakes, banana & date squishy bars, raisins, etc.

i do softly softly because i want to maintain good relationship with CM - if i asked directly i worry she would bitch about me with other CMs & think i was very anal. she's a nice lady and we get on well but i know these things happen. after all she brought up her kids on hula hoops and capri sun and they are fine now!

i think you may have to provide organix or baby-friendly snacks and say you want dd to have them instead of wotsits etc. good luck! x

Superfrenchie1 - I REALLY think you need to have a chat with your CM!!