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Tough half term. How would you deal with this behaviour?

(7 Posts)
longdiling Fri 28-Oct-16 19:25:39

Sigh. I have cut back massively on the number of older kids I look after as I often find their behaviour problematic. One exception has been a child I had full time as a baby, he's five now and his behaviour can be very difficult. His main issue is that he will not be told off. If he is doing anything he shouldn't and I confront him he gets very angry and rude. He's sworn at me and tried to bite and scratch me this week.

I have tried calm and gentle reasoning and being very firm and forceful. Nothing works. I've told his parents and they are very apologetic but I don't know what - if any - consequences he faces.

I find it difficult to have a proper conversation with them at pick up as my nosy kids are hovering - as are other parents sometimes. I'm debating firing off an email to them this week about it. I don't want to give notice but I can't continue like this. What behaviour management strategies would you suggest I talk to them about?! With my own kids of a similar age I take away privileges although they really don't behave like this...

ImperialBlether Fri 28-Oct-16 19:28:11

Do you have him before and after school, or just in the holidays?

longdiling Fri 28-Oct-16 19:30:27

After, just once a week and then three days this week during half term. He is very comfortable here and we have a great bond but when he kicks off he's a nightmare!

SpotTheDuck Fri 28-Oct-16 19:31:45

An email could be difficult as it's so hard to get the right tone across, especially where you could sound like you're criticising their child or their parenting.

Instead, could you contact them and say that you'd like to agree a time for them to talk to you in more detail, when there aren't other nosy people around? Eg they could pick up later than normal, then one play with their son to keep him busy while you talk to the other parent about how best to resolve this?

ImperialBlether Fri 28-Oct-16 19:44:57

It would be better if they could come to see you when there are no children or parents around. If their son is there, he might well overhear you talking about him.

Does he have trouble in school?

longdiling Fri 28-Oct-16 19:47:09

Thanks both, the situation is further complicated by the parents not being together any more and I get the impression they aren't on friendly terms. His older sibling tells me he does get in trouble in school, yes.

ImperialBlether Fri 28-Oct-16 19:51:37

Just speak to one of them, then. Are either of them free in the day for a coffee?

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