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What I overheard at nursery

(7 Posts)
Chloris33 Mon 03-Oct-16 18:24:29

My ds (21) months has recently started nursery (2 days p/w), he's going into 3rd week. When I arrived to pick up today I overheard them in the garden before they could see me. My DS was crying, and shouting 'Mummy' in quite a distressed & angry way. His key worker said in a strict voice, 'you're fine Gabriel. You're happy. We're playing with the ball, you send back the ball'. Then he briefly stopped crying, then started again & she said his name pretty sternly, and repeated 'you're fine!' What do others think of this approach? I have to admit I have a very soft and gentle approach, because that's just me, and it was a shock for me to hear this, but I don't think a firm approach is necessarily bad. Just not sure what to think about this. The key worker said when he was unsettled going down for his nap she stroked his hair and he went to sleep, so it sounds like she can be comforting. My DS seems to like her, though is still getting upset sometimes. They say overall he's making progress and is doing well despite ups and downs. I'd be really interested to hear what anyone who has worked in a nursery thinks to the stern approach when a child is crying. I do get that they need to minimise crying for the other kids' sake, too, and don't have the resources to be constantly consoling a child, but would really like some opinions. It's all so new. Thanks x

gettingitwrongputingitright Mon 03-Oct-16 18:28:23

Its hard to say without being there. But it sounds ok I think.

Chloris33 Mon 03-Oct-16 18:38:46

Thanks!
Meant to post this on nurseries forum!

strawberrybubblegum Mon 03-Oct-16 19:57:07

Telling him what to feel (when he clearly wasn't happy!) isn't great. I'd accept it as a minor thing though, and probably wouldn't bring it up if he seems to like her and be starting to settle.

The rest of the interaction (including being a bit firm) sounds ok.

Blue4ever Mon 03-Oct-16 20:03:34

Sometimes, actually quite often children will start crying when they see their parents at the end of the day. Some children will misbehave at that point, having been absolutely fine all day. This is worrying for some parents as they assume their child has been unhappy all day, when they have been absolutely fine.

redcaryellowcar Mon 03-Oct-16 20:03:56

I agree with pp, they shouldn't tell him how to feel.

Elbekind Tue 04-Oct-16 16:30:17

If he is fairly new at the nursery I think she could have done with being a little bit more consoling- if he isn't used to you being firm with him like this then it's hardly going to help him feel better when the nursery worker does it, is it?
Then again I childmind a little girl for 8 hours a day 5 days a week and every single morning she is upset when she arrives because she wants to stay with mummy, and every single evening she is upset when her mummy comes back because she wants to stay with me. I do find myself being stricter with her recently and saying things like 'OK child A, that's enough now, let's go do X activity' since the whole cuddles and soft-touch thing was just making her take longer to calm down.

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