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New nanny - how long to "trial"?

(10 Posts)
MNmum Tue 16-Aug-16 17:13:21

I've just hired a new nanny for my 5 month old daughter (been with us one month). We've previously had a maternity nurse for the newborn period and then a nanny who was fired when we found out she had lied about previous experience. During a transition period my best friends nanny helped us out with baby sitting both during days and evenings/nights (she's since been back twice in the last two weeks to help with nights). Everyone who has ever taken care of my girl agrees that she's an easy baby and there has never been any problems with introducing a new person to her. The current nanny came with a lot of experience of babies and small children (checked extensively) including having own children. One month in, my girl still won't have her milk with this nanny without a lot of fussing and there is generally a lot more crying and fussing than we've experienced before - I know babies go through phases but my girl stops crying te moment I come to help (I've tried staying away and watching on our security cameras to check if it's fussing because she can see me and wants my attention but makes no difference). I can't see that this lady does anything wrong - my daughter just doesn't seem to like her enough to settle with her when she's hungry or upset. How long would you keep trying to establish a connection between a child and a new nanny? I expected it to be a few days max as that's my previous experience but this is my first baby so perhaps I'm over confident.

I don't want to try and change nanny just to discover that we have the same problem again and it's a question of just sticking it out but at the same time we're getting close to the point where I need to go back to work and before then I need to be confident that I have a nanny who can take care of my baby. Any views would be appreciated.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Tue 16-Aug-16 17:20:07

Let your nanny get on with things and stop checking in the security camera would be my advise tbh.

You need to trust her to find her own routine with your baby and it'll be different from how you do things.

If you keep intervening your baby will be hanging out as she'll get used to you coming to take over.

CafeCremeMerci Tue 16-Aug-16 17:24:13

Does your nanny know you're using cameras?

If you're DD is happy with everyone else, then yes, I'd find a different nanny. It seems pointless to force it if she's unhappy with her whilst being happy with everyone else.

minipie Tue 16-Aug-16 17:35:06

If your child was older and not settling I'd say find a new nanny.

But a 5 month old baby... nanny not doing anything obviously wrong... I think it's more likely that your baby is going through a phase (my first was super grumpy at 5 mo) than that she "doesn't like" the nanny.

Blondeshavemorefun Wed 17-Aug-16 07:06:39

Babies are very clever and even at 5mth work out if I cry mummy comes in

She prob senses you are about as is heading into clingy stage

Leave this nanny alone and stop checking cameras. You know she isn't doing anything wrong

Why do you have cameras and does your nanny know ?

Baby may be teething. If was sleeping and settling ok then might be with starting weaning in addition to milk

MNmum Wed 17-Aug-16 09:45:47

Thanks everyone. Nanny knows of the cameras - I asked her if she was ok with them at interview (not fair to have her take the job and then tell her after all) and they are not at all hidden, it's very obvious were they are.

I will take a step back for a few days and just let her get on with things without me stepping in. You're right that I shouldn't make it into a habit for my daughter to expect me to take over just because she whinges, then she'll never settle with any nanny.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Wed 17-Aug-16 10:13:55

I would suggest actually going out for the day,similar to the hours you will be working.

AndNowItsSeven Wed 17-Aug-16 10:25:30

I think you are lucky to have any nanny considering you have cameras.

Stillunexpected Wed 17-Aug-16 10:54:30

You sound like a very anxious mother and your baby will pick up on that. If the nanny knows she is constantly being watched on security cameras and has you "hovering" all the time, either physically or remotely she will be unsettled too - all of which is being passed on to your baby. Seriously, you need to unclench or you will drive yourself and everyone else mad.

Blondeshavemorefun Wed 17-Aug-16 16:14:08

Well done for reliesing you need to step back a bit. Know it's hard but you employed this nanny so trust her

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