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Is this fair? What do I do?

(20 Posts)
Happygirl0701 Sat 21-May-16 21:03:08

Hi!

I am a live in nanny who looks after 2 lovely little boys. I have been with the family I am with for 8 months and everything was going great until recently. I am supposed to work 5 hours a day, but lately I have been doing 12-14, with no extra pay, which means I get about £1.70 an hour. The parents have stopped getting up with the children in the mornings and instead, they shut their bedroom door so they don't hear the children crying and let me do it all, getting up about 9am-ish... I am very respectful of this and try to keep the boys happy and calm, so they can sleep... But on my two days off ( Saturday and Sunday) The mum wakes me up standing outside my door shouting and talking loudly, the children don't bother me at all!! But then they constantly come to me on my days off and ask me to dress the boys/ bath the boys/ watch them while they get ready... which is ok but I really need to have a break! We recently moved to a place where I have no friends so they really take advantage of that, inviting me out at weekends, so they can leave the kids with me and relax with their friends, but they don't mention that when they invite me... I would speak to them about it but the mum has really changed lately and is so rude and mean to everyone... She'd rip my head off!! It's getting to the point where I can't have privacy in my room, I have to sleep with the door open because if the children wake up they ignore them, so I sleep lightly panicking I won't hear them cry, because my body isn't used to that! If they go out on a Friday or Saturday they ask me to get the children up the next day so they can get over the hangover... Is it right of me to be annoyed that I'm now being used as a hangover cure on my days off? During the day the dad doesn't do anything, he just gets up late then sits on his phone, giving me a million different tasks and then goes for a nap after lunch without telling me...But looking after a baby and a 3 year old is a handful as it is, let alone in a new country ... They've stopped asking me if I'll babysit too.. They just say 'You're babysitting tomorrow' I've missed boxing and Zumba classes that I pay for because they don't give me advance warning and they don't ask me, they order me. It would be ok if they said please and thank you, but they're just replying on me too much now and know I don't have any friends in this country to spend time with.., So I'm very trapped in my room. And for £1.70/H I really don't think they should put so much pressure on me... What are your thoughts? I would speak to them about it but the mum would get very offended. Sorry if this is all a jumble, it's been causing me a ton of anxiety and need to get it out!!

Lots of love

(not so) Happygirl0701

xxx

HSMMaCM Sat 21-May-16 21:06:01

That's not right. You should leave. I'm not even going to suggest asking them to pay you for your hours or renegotiate your contract.

What would happen if you didn't get up at night or do any work at the weekend ?

Happygirl0701 Sat 21-May-16 21:09:58

I have started not getting up in the night, because it is really starting to effect my mental health, the mum usually gets up, but is very obviously complaining of it the next morning. She makes it seem a bigger deal (They were up for an hour crying!) when I could hear it was just a quick get up and stick the dummy in. They make me feel guilty very easily. In the mornings, Before 7am I used to try waiting for the parents to get up but they just wouldn't. They leave the boys to cry until I get up for them as I feel too guilty to just leave them to cry! Don't get me wrong... They are good parents, but they have become far to reliant on me lately and it's too much pressure.

Allofaflumble Sat 21-May-16 21:33:23

They sound utterly selfish. Get out of that job as soon as you can. Horrible people. Poor kids. Good luck.

Blondeshavemorefun Sun 22-May-16 22:02:13

Unusual to live in and work 5hrs a day - unless an au pair

Can you live out so no need to you to be there out of work hours

Or find a new job

They may be nice good parents but they are awful employers

cosmicglittergirl Sun 22-May-16 22:05:10

Yeah leave. And next time get your hours/duties pre agreed. They're taking the piss.
Good luck.

LeonoraFlorence Sun 22-May-16 22:09:26

They are treating you terribly. I'm afraid I'd leave and look for another job, OP.

Buckinbronco Sun 22-May-16 22:11:05

Leave, there is no other option. What fuckers

Jinxysbaby Sun 22-May-16 22:22:06

U need to leave piss taking cunts

RTKangaMummy Sun 22-May-16 22:45:42

Why can't you go out on your days off or in evenings after your hours are finished on weekday?

Just put on your coat and leave, get a taxi if you are in middle of nowhere, even if you just go to pictures for afternoon and wander around shops

Are you in UK?

Do not go out with them at weekends cos they are just using you

But in reality you do need to leave asap

insancerre Mon 23-May-16 06:30:31

That's not a nanny, that's a slave
You need to get out as soon as possible
Do you have anywhere to stay while you look for a job?

Lunar1 Mon 23-May-16 06:36:40

Which country have you all gone too? Are they exploiting you because of different laws?

StealthPolarBear Mon 23-May-16 06:55:33

You're a a slave

wizzywig Mon 23-May-16 07:38:30

Sounds awful. They are taking advantage.

RTKangaMummy Mon 23-May-16 07:40:21

Are you in whatever country you have been taken to legally?

If so, get out asap

If not, then contact your own country embassy and explain what has happened

FishWithABicycle Mon 23-May-16 07:57:25

You need to leave, quick as you can. They are taking advantage of you and hoping they can emotionally manipulate you into accepting being treated like dirt. You are worth more than this. Escape and get back home, it won't be long till you can get another job.

Bettercallsaul1 Mon 23-May-16 17:07:33

Leave, leave, leave!! Do not think about - just go. ASAP.

Maryann1975 Mon 23-May-16 21:13:00

You haven't portrayed them as being good parents. They sound dreadful both as parents and employers. It is not your job to be getting up to them at night, or dealing with them first thing in the morning or other times you aren't meant to be working. They are using you big style and like all the other pps I advise you to leave and find another job. You are worth more than being treated like a slave by this couple.

GrassW1dow Tue 24-May-16 21:04:01

Just run. Run for the hills.

Thebookswereherfriends Tue 24-May-16 21:13:49

Terrible parents (they ignore their crying children) and terrible employers. You need to get out. I can't see that situation improving, they think they are getting away with it and will not willingly change back to the previous situation. Good luck.

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