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Are my kids safe with au pair on valium?

(47 Posts)
Fannydoesit Sat 16-Jan-16 18:35:18

Hi everyone,

Happy New Year - newbie here. My au pair has been with us just under a week and I now realise she is on anti-anxiety meds, something which she didn't disclose before.

I don't disparage, but I have 4 kids whom she will be dropping off and picking up every day plus she will have sole charge of my 2 year old twice a week for a few hours. She complains everyday about dizziness, tremors, headaches and cries at the drop of a hat. I'm prepared to put it down to missing home, etc, but I do wonder if (with the known side effects of benzos) it is safe to leave my DCs with her or whether to politely and regretfully let her go...

specialsubject Sat 16-Jan-16 19:35:10

many people can function perfectly well on diazepam with none of those side effects.

but she sounds too ill to do her job, that's not the meds. Time for a discussion about her treatment and how she gets better.

Fannydoesit Sun 17-Jan-16 09:29:27

Thanks Specialsubject, I will have that conversation.

Our GP has advised her to come off the meds at any rate, he thinks some of her symptoms may be down to that, but I can see she really is struggling.

specialsubject Sun 17-Jan-16 12:18:49

hope things improve for her.

peppielillyan Sun 17-Jan-16 17:54:41

did you take her to a specialist for a proper assessment?

Fannydoesit Sun 17-Jan-16 18:48:18

No. She arrived Tuesday and said she'd been unwell in the last week. On Thursday she showed me her informed me of her anxiety which she said only started in the same week (so just under 2 weeks ago now) and was so fretful I booked her an emergency appt with our GP.

He checked her out based on her symptoms and said she was fine apart from a slight cold. Then she showed him her meds and he made the comments I mentioned earlier. She said she felt fine immediately after and went out for the night...

TheCatsMeow Sun 17-Jan-16 18:50:39

Why should she disclose it? I function fine on diazepam for the record and it sounds like you have some prejudice about mental health...

I don't think you need to worry.

Palomb Sun 17-Jan-16 18:52:44

What do the new laws say about driving on those meds?

peppielillyan Sun 17-Jan-16 19:18:30

i am interested where she got those medication?
and how old is she?
i am asking because some anxiety solutions have strange side effects that get stranger when you are young....

Fannydoesit Sun 17-Jan-16 20:29:45

She's 28 and got the meds from her doctor in Spain. It's diazepam ... Oh dear, how much stranger can it get? She gets tremors in her hands, blurry vision and dizziness and pressure headaches when she's anxious.

She reckons these may be symptoms of her anxiety ... I don't know.

hownottofuckup Sun 17-Jan-16 20:33:04

From the symptoms you describe, personally I wouldn't be happy with leaving DC in her sole care and most certainly not having her drive them about.

TheoriginalLEM Sun 17-Jan-16 20:33:57

diazepam is not recommended for long term treatment of anxiety. it is addictive and sedative.

as for her having the children?

ona low dose of diazepam fine a high dose? no.

She needs better meds and then should be fine.

Whatdoidohelp Sun 17-Jan-16 20:36:59

On dia - not an issue.
The symptom - deal breaker for me. I don't see her as fit enough to look after children as a paid occupation.

TheoriginalLEM Sun 17-Jan-16 20:47:08

whatdoido? you don't consider someone with anxiety fit to look after children?? hmm

but happy for them to be on diazepam?

are you for real?

Op - i would want to know what your au pair is doing to have her anxiety controlled and also how it might affect her work.

as an au pair she shouldn't be in sole charge of the children anyway so its not a danger. my issues would be more about getting it controlled so she doesn't have to have exessive time off. just the same as if she had a back problem.

MajesticWhine Sun 17-Jan-16 20:48:44

Diazapam is not recommended for long term use and I would not like someone looking after my children to be on it. There are much better options.

TheoriginalLEM Sun 17-Jan-16 20:51:27

Anxiety meds do not have "strange" effects. They do have side effects that are worse when you first take them. Diazepam is not generally used for chronic anxiety and only given in the short term.

FoxesSitOnBoxes Sun 17-Jan-16 20:53:00

Yes, diazepam is for short term use. It is very addictive. I'd be concerned about this and would worry about her mental health. I don't think I'd be happy to leave my children with her

TheoriginalLEM Sun 17-Jan-16 20:53:40

i have taken diazepam on several occasions. no side effects. am on long term anti anxiety meds.

I have children. Are you suggesting i shouldn't be allowed to look after them???

hmm

Whatdoidohelp Sun 17-Jan-16 20:56:08

Dia in the correct dose and monitored is fine. As long as there is no side effects.

Having a au pair with anxiety isn't an issue. The au pair having tremors dizzy spells etc is.

FoxesSitOnBoxes Sun 17-Jan-16 21:05:05

yes, that's exactly what I said hmm this isn't about you. It's about whether I think the OP should trust her children to someone she doesn't really know who is relying on diazepam to function. I was replying that I wouldn't want to. I'd have to be very sure about anyone who was caring for my children. Really not a comment on your parenting abilities

TheoriginalLEM Sun 17-Jan-16 21:07:55

well as far as i understand. au pairs aren't supposed to be in sole charge of the children. That would require a nanny

writingonthewall Sun 17-Jan-16 21:09:39

well as far as i understand. au pairs aren't supposed to be in sole charge of the children. That would require a nanny

Au pairs aren't supposed to be in sole charge of children under a certain age - usually 2 or 3 depending on who you asked. If they couldn't be in charge of any child ever, what would be the point of having one?!

WanderingTrolley1 Sun 17-Jan-16 21:11:40

I wouldn't feel comfortable with it myself.

peppielillyan Sun 17-Jan-16 21:12:23

As far as i know, diazepam is not a solution for anxiety in long term prospects.... i would suggest st johns wort, but idk about the dear OP....

Devilishpyjamas Sun 17-Jan-16 21:13:14

I'd be wary tbh op.

My son is on long term lorazepam (low dose) so I'm not prejudiced about people on benzodiazepines

when he first took it he was very sleepy & a bit unsteady.

As others have said they are addictive & tolerance to them can build up pretty quickly. Did the gp tell her to stop? Withdrawal should be staggered even after a short time (& I wouldn't want someone withdrawing looking after my kids).

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