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When to tell nanny

(19 Posts)
Summertimesong Wed 05-Aug-15 13:16:57

Name change here.
Am pregnant due in Feb 16. Have a lovely nanny but not sure when to tell her news.
If I tell her early she may find another job.
I'm planning to have a year off.
When should I tell her I'm pregnant?
Is a months notice of mat leave fair?

MilkChocolateButtons Wed 05-Aug-15 14:33:27

You should sit her down ASAP and be honest with your nanny. A year is a long time to have a mum at home, however your nanny may be willing to give it a go, I think it's only fair to give her the news.

I know personally I had my mum boss off for three months mat leave and she was very upfront and honest about what she wanted from the situation and it out well. I offered her a lot of support, let her rest etc

I'll be honest I would probably of left if it was going to be a year but that is because I'm a strictly sole charge nanny I do not so shared care In any capacity I took the job on knowing my boss was 7 months pregnant and would have a brief maternity period.

Always he honest because it's so annoying from a Nannys PoV when parents keep things from you to keep you from leaving when they have no second thoughts about getting rid of us when they don't need us.

Jackie0 Wed 05-Aug-15 14:40:45

Tell her soon. She is going to guess anyway.
Are you planning to let her go?
Don't give her a months notice if you have any regard for her at all.
Your best bet is to be very upfront and keep the communication open.
She probably will start looking around but if you knew you were going to be made redundant in 4 months or so you'd probably do the same.
Hopefully she will get sorted at a good time for both of you.

Summertimesong Wed 05-Aug-15 18:24:57

I haven't told friends/family yet as I like to wait until after 20 week scan.
Only our parents know.

cansu Wed 05-Aug-15 18:29:08

of course you need to tell her before that. She needs time to find a new job. How would you feel if you were treated like this?

Yerazig Wed 05-Aug-15 18:36:05

My boss was pregnant when I started my job with a 7month old. I wasn't told for a few months. When I was told they made it clear my job was safe they need me etc. her first day of maternity leave she said they couldn't keep me on. It was obviously was planned from the start. So know on I'm very cautious with employers and keep them at arms length. The moral of the story tell your nanny asap. Yes she may find a new job Asap but on the other hand she may respect you guys enough to find a job near when you go on maternity leave.

Yerazig Wed 05-Aug-15 18:37:20

Sorry for bad spelling and grammar

Findtheoldme Wed 05-Aug-15 18:47:36

I think MilkChocolateButtons makes a very good point.

Some employers want all the security and loyalty of a nanny but don't return the favour when things change. It Seems like they aren't an equal employee when the employer wants things to change. Like it is just playing at working.

I worked as a nanny and was very loyal. I hated how it could feel that one is trusted to care for their child but not to leave them in the lurch when circumstances change.

BigFoxLittleFox Wed 05-Aug-15 19:05:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Duckstar Wed 05-Aug-15 19:07:20

I have always been upfront with Nannys about pregnancy (after 12 weeks). Yes, they may leave you, but frankly if you knew you were going to be made redundant in 6 months time so would you. I've just always asked my Nanny's to be honest with me so if they are lookng for jobs they keep me posted so we can do something re childcare. In one case I just went on maternity leave a bit earlier.

I would have hated to lie and pretend I could keep people on while on mat leave (couldn't self-employed straight on to Maternity Allowance).

grabaspoon Wed 05-Aug-15 19:10:10

I knew as soon as my boss fell pregnant and I mean less than 4 weeks by my reckoning.

1. I was in the house and would find out anyway (morning sickness/overheard discussions/medical appointments)

I felt very honoured to know and infact didn't tell any of my friends / nanny circle (until MUCH further along 7 months)

Had I not had been told I would have guessed quite quickly anyway. And it meant I could do kid gloves with her and deal with grumpiness at the end if the day rather than getting annoyed that she was always tired/in a bad mood etc.

Re timings. If you want a year off you need to speak to your nanny and soon. She may look for another job, she may go with the understanding she'll return in a year BUT this is her discussion and by giving her the information and asap she'll be able to make plans. 1 nanny friend knows her boss is due soon BUT doesnot know what's going on with her job (keeping it, losing hours etc and this is mere weeks away)

Karoleann Wed 05-Aug-15 21:54:11

What does your contract say and when are you planning on going on maternity leave, do you want her to stay for the first few weeks?

It is a difficult time of year you don't want to let her know just before Christmas and she's obviously going to notice before then....I'd probably wait until you've decided all of the above and then at least you can have a conversation about what's going to happen. She's going to notice that you're pregnant soon anyway, so giving notice only s month before isn't really an option.

Badgirlforlife1 Sat 02-Jan-16 09:45:58

Wait to get the all clear
I have know with most my boss are ...women just know.
Be honest with her you like your nanny to be honest wit you ?
Will you loose her maybe unit you talk you real don't know.

peppielillyan Sat 02-Jan-16 14:11:46

Mine have been always telling me immediately after the positive pregnancy test.

Littlef00t Sat 02-Jan-16 15:05:42

I'm assuming you'd never want her back after mat leave if you don't tell her sooner. And considering she presumably sees you regularly, sees stuff your. Buying and your LO might talk of siblings, you'd be mad to try and hide it.

peppielillyan Sat 02-Jan-16 15:11:25

You are due in Feb 2016, 8-9 week away! can you still hide your bump?

minipie Sat 02-Jan-16 15:19:10

Thread is from August 2015....

peppielillyan Sat 02-Jan-16 15:44:26

ooh, sorry...

Whatsthematterwithme Sat 02-Jan-16 17:01:42

When my old boss was pregnant, she told me straight after she told her husband and many weeks before she told the family. She also told me that she is keeping me as she wanted the support during maternity leave (nine months) and also they wanted to keep me on. If you are planning on letting your nanny go, you have to tell her asap.

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