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Starting to worry about the au pair I've offered a job to...

(19 Posts)
QuinoaLenghi Sat 23-May-15 21:57:17

She's not here yet. Not due to arrive for a couple of months. But after a few emails and Skypes I offered her the job and felt really good about our choice.

Since then she FB friend requested me do I can see her FB in full. Every day is another drunken party picture in which she is tagged. I'm not particularly strict, I've been happy for past au pairs to enjoy London nightlife but these pics are Every Single Day. If I scroll back on FB it's been like this for two years and she's only 18 now.

Am I being an utter prude? Does it matter? Would this worry others?

Springtimemama Sat 23-May-15 21:59:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Springtimemama Sat 23-May-15 22:01:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuinoaLenghi Sat 23-May-15 22:03:39

No chance of a trial weekend sadly. She lives on the opposite side of the world!

Flop83 Sat 23-May-15 22:05:19

She's young and enjoying herself while she can by the sounds of it?

PerspicaciaTick Sat 23-May-15 22:06:55

I have no idea where you live but if she was coming to me I'd be letting her know that there simply isn't much of a party culture locally and hoping she won't be disappointed to be missing out on her current lifestyle.

esiotrot2015 Sat 23-May-15 22:11:31

She won't be partying loads though because a) she'll be working &
B) surely she won't have any friends to go out with to begin with ?

Also fb only shows partying / holidays etc

Not her sitting at home studying, watching TV with her parents ....

QuinoaLenghi Sat 23-May-15 22:12:05

We live in London Persp. There is plenty of opportunity to party! As I said I am ok about au pairs going out and clubbing etc, we have had great au pairs who have liked the nightlife, but those au pairs went out once or twice a week and the rest of the time they enjoyed hanging out with our family in a nice, quiet, low-key way. I am suddenly worried this one will want to be out all the time and will find nights at home rather dull!

RubyMay82 Sat 23-May-15 22:23:26

Surely if she was an out of control party animal she would have been wise enough not to add her future employer on Facebook,

QuinoaLenghi Sat 23-May-15 22:27:25

You would think so wouldn't you Ruby!?

WonderingWillow Sun 24-May-15 00:40:39

persp has a good idea. Maybe mention that. Ask for another Skype call and speak to her and just talk about it. Openness is the best policy.

Pico2 Sun 24-May-15 01:00:25

Surely she won't be able to afford that lifestyle in London.

WonderingWillow Sun 24-May-15 03:36:11

Pico the Australian girls I've had (assuming this girl is?) have had to show money saved in their bank as part of their Visa condition (tier 5 youth mobility scheme), so they've saved for the trip for several months, and also have had credit cards that were supposed to be for emergencies; but seemed to be paying for shoes, handbags and brunches grin

But yes; they're not on a fortune (I pay £150 a week), so even if they did have savings etc, it wouldn't be able to go on at such a pace. The common hangouts (Clapham, Shoreditch etc) are all easily £9 a cocktail now, or £8 for a glass of wine. Plus cabs back after the trains depending on where you live are easily the wrong side of £50 shock So one night out, and that can be most of their money gone.

None of mine have been real party animals, and the cost may have played a part! Once or twice a week? More like once or twice a month for my girls in my experience; although I have had my house full of giggling teenage girls on several occasions grin

QuinoaLenghi Sun 24-May-15 06:31:37

Our past au pairs have made links to club promoters who basically are paid to get pretty young girls into clubs. They give free entry and endless free drinks. It's morally pretty dubious but means money is no blocker to a busy London nightlife. Our last au pair used to go clubbing with no cash or credit card, just her Oyster to get the night bus!

Springtimemama Sun 24-May-15 07:52:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheoriginalLEM Sun 24-May-15 08:01:22

just hire a plain au pair -problem solved ;)

CycleChic Sun 24-May-15 08:07:17

Are you worried about her not being able to do her job, or about not having her company on quiet evenings in?
Either way, a talk about expectations (and a friendly warning about image management on the Internet) would be a good idea!

QuinoaLenghi Sun 24-May-15 09:53:28

I'm just worried about her wanting to party every night. She has to work at 6.45am five times a week and past au pairs have only gone out on days off. On nights before early starts they've hung out at home playing with the kids and eating with us and they've enjoyed it and been raring to go in the morn.

littleladyluna Sun 24-May-15 11:05:12

Between the ages of 16-18 I was out all the time in the holidays/after exams. There were plenty of photos taken but no smart phones and no Facebook thank goodness! Had my first employer seen those I'm sure they'd have never employed me. As a pp said above, there were no photos of me doing endless revision, sitting watching tv with my parents, or walking the dog.

When I started my au pair job I quickly became friends with party organisers and the heaps of interns in the city. I often went out with just my Metro card to get home - as mentioned above. There were parties happening every night of the week, but I only went out on the weekend (admittedly I was out ALL weekend!) My employer never had an issue with my performance. Have a talk with her before she arrives, and check her outfits on FB, it may be that different friends upload different pictures throughout the week of the same night.

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