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DD rebelling against nanny situation

(8 Posts)
CoffeeWillAlwaysLoveMe Wed 20-May-15 09:31:19

Hi everyone, I"m really hoping there are some nannies or parents on here who may be able to give me some advice.

Our lovely nanny started working with us 6 weeks ago. We hired her after I went back to work from ML to look after our just turned 1yo DS and nearly 5yo DD. She has sole care of the 1yo 4 days a week and drops off and picks up our DD from school two days a week (on these days its 7.30am-7.30pm), and care in the holidays.

Whilst she has formed a lovely bond with our DS, our DD is really struggling. She is very angry, a lot of tantrums, no co-operation, a lot of I don't want nanny name I only want Mummy and Daddy. She's a wonderful bright loving child but the nanny, and myself are really getting the brunt of it (not so much her Dad).

Our nanny has actually known DD for a few years, she was her key worker at nursery and continued to sit for us after she left. They always got on really well, until now. She is very calm but DD just won't co-operate with her and as this is her first nannying job I think she's struggling.

I'm at my wits end. We were lucky enough to plan DS1 to arrive so I could take nearly a year off on ML to settle DD into school (she is young in the year and I wanted to be around). DH also took 2 months paternity leave following me. We have a nanny because we both commute and have enough flexibility in our jobs to work some strange hours so that we can still provide DD with our care 3 days of the working week and have the contact with the school (this means we each work 2 x 12/13 hr days which is hard going). I thought I had it all planned perfectly - time off when DD needed me the most, flexible working, quality time with the kids, a nanny they knew and works with us rather than for us, but it seems to not be going well at all from our DD's perspective.

I know part of this is about being 5, part of it is getting used to the new normal. But we need some strategies to get through this period and to support our poor nanny. Any advice? (fingers crossed)

minderjinx Wed 20-May-15 10:19:59

Could you arrange some time for your nanny to just have your DD, take her out and do some exciting things together to help re-establish their own connection? Could it be that DD is jealous of LO getting to spend all day with nanny and sees this as excluding her/nanny preferring baby?

RattieofCatan Wed 20-May-15 13:15:33

Id suggest the same as minder. Would she be willing to swap an afternoon/do an extra afternoon to a day where you or your dh are there or could you take some time off? That way your little one is with you or your dh so she can really have some one-to-one time with dd.

CoffeeWillAlwaysLoveMe Wed 20-May-15 16:54:40

It will be difficult to do this over the next 3 weeks with work commitments I have on (and DD is at school usually when I work at home). But could definitely do this after that point. There is 1/2 term coming up and DS and DD will be in nanny's care for two days, DS has a 3hr nap each afternoon so that could be a bit of 1-2-1 time.

nannynick Thu 21-May-15 09:48:00

Have your nanny focus on things your DD wants to do during half-term. DS can tag along, activities do not need to be geared to him as at that age they are happy to watch what is going on, see new things. Let DS nap on the move (does nanny use a sling, buggy?)

Throw some money at it but keep within a reasonable budget - let DD go to a museum/castle whatever she is interested in visiting. Let nanny have money so DD can buy something from the museum shop.
Use a form of transport that DD wants to go on - train, bus.

I find the children I care for quite like going on the Park-And-Ride bus - as we normally drive everywhere.

eurycantha Mon 25-May-15 21:16:10

I agree with Nick,mine love going on the bus as we also always drive.We go most holidays and on half term to the museum .They call it the granny bus.As everyone has said I agree with one to one when possible.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams Thu 28-May-15 12:39:18

It's just a thought but I also have a DD the same age, and summer born and she is a frickin nightmare towards the end of term. You might not be doing anything wrong, she might just be knackered and grumpy. DD was a different child after lots of long lie in's over Easter.

0x530x610x750x630x79 Thu 28-May-15 12:45:06

Mine are going to town on the bus today, i offered a lift was was loudly turned down smile

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