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keep meeting the old nanny

(26 Posts)
JokersGiggle Thu 12-Jun-14 19:39:47

I'm the new nanny. Started a few Weeks ago add the old nanny left with no warning. Unfortunately I keep bumping into her when picking up from school and she makes negative comments about the children (sometimes infront of them). They are lovely kids but she seems to think they are monsters. Myself and mum and both asked her to stop but she won't. She talks to me like we're friends "all nannies together" kinda thing.
How do I stop her taking about the children? They are real sweeties!

nannynick Thu 12-Jun-14 19:48:20

Not sure you can stop her.

Avoid her, ignore her.

Can you find a pickup point at school in a different place to where she stands?

Madrigals Thu 12-Jun-14 20:14:38

Can you tell her when she says it to you alone that dc are really upset by the comments and if it continues your mb will have to speak to her mb?

ajandjjmum Thu 12-Jun-14 20:18:18

Is she working for someone else now, if you see her at school pick-up? I'd tend to over-compensate by saying loudly and clearly - infront of the children - how happy I am and what sweeties they are.

JokersGiggle Thu 12-Jun-14 20:55:25

She picks her kids up from the same place as I pick up one of my little charges. Its a small courtyard so not much chance of missing her. Although I have spoken loudly about how lovely they are I will talk louder.
Is it worth mentioning it to the school? Don't think they could do anything though.....

Madrigals Thu 12-Jun-14 21:41:13

Jokers, I think the school could decide to address it if you report it, but you would need to ask your mb first before raising it with school.

ajandjjmum Thu 12-Jun-14 21:50:01

I wouldn't mention it to the school at this point, but I would be primed to respond very firmly if she said a word out of place!

JokersGiggle Thu 12-Jun-14 22:12:57

She's happy to leave it up to me to deal with, she's told me that if I do anything then text her and she'll back me up if they call her/want a meeting.

JokersGiggle Thu 12-Jun-14 22:17:31

An example of how she speaks in front of them. This was said on Monday - "so how are the brats being for you? They could be well difficult, if you need any tips just ask! if ya shout they just don't listen but if ya swear while shouting then they listen. And ignore the baby, spoilt little shit crys over nothing"
That really upset me. The older ones are 4 and 6 and the baby is 4 months!

KayVerinder Thu 12-Jun-14 22:22:31

Crickey.

That's seriously unpleasant. Other people must be hearing that.

Is she wanting her old job back and hoping she can drive you out? And referring to a tiny baby as a little shit, well if my job wasn't riding on it I would record her and send it to her new employer.

Disclaimer- I am not and never have been a nanny so have no idea how it works.

thanks For you for being lovely.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Thu 12-Jun-14 22:26:30

Well, I'd soeak to her boss tbh that she might now be leaving her 'brats' to crynig out or she swears in front if them.

Madrigals Thu 12-Jun-14 23:08:31

That is just awful shock lucky your current charges that she upped and left. Lovely dm she must be too.

Blondeshavemorefun Fri 13-Jun-14 00:07:47

Sounds horrible and probably jealous tbh!!!!

I would say to her next time very firmly that she is not to speak
About the children like that - it's rude and disrespectful and untrue - and if she has nothing nice to say then to say nothing at all - then turn your back to her

Or tell me where you /she is and I would gladly tell her smile

JokersGiggle Fri 13-Jun-14 11:48:27

She doesn't have a new job so I can't tell her employer.
Think I'll let her have it if she speaks out. I've had enough of her, can't imagine how the kids put up with her.

eastmidswarwicknightnanny Fri 13-Jun-14 17:13:09

Think I would just be blunt and say you obviously have nothing nice to say n we def have nothing in common so please can you refrain from speaking to me when I collect the children.

mychildrenarebarmy Fri 13-Jun-14 17:40:37

As she seems to see it as an "all nannies together" situation the next time she says anything I would respond with "Perhaps that is the case when they are with someone who doesn't care about them and treats them in an unpleasant manner. Personally I have found them utterly delightful and really love the job." Judging by what she said, and the way she said it she all end up thinking a) you are a snob because you speak properly, b)you are a nutcase who is just sucking up to your new employer and c)you have nothing in common.

I was a nanny in my pre-parent days. She sounds utterly vile and the children are far better off without her. They are being real sweeties for you because you are treating them how they should be treated.

JokersGiggle Fri 13-Jun-14 19:55:40

Well I saw her today and she tried to give me more "advice". I responded by saying that I found that treating the children with respect was the best was to get respect back. If she couldn't speak respectfully to or about them or me then maybe it was best if she refrained from conversation with us.
Was overheard by lots of parents, childcarers and a teacher.
hopefully as so many others overheard she'll leave us alone.

mychildrenarebarmy Fri 13-Jun-14 21:08:55

Good for you.

sunshinenanny Fri 13-Jun-14 21:43:45

It saddens me that there are so called nannies out there who behave like this. Did the mum have no idea that this woman talked to her children in this way? Children often repeat foul language when it is directed at them and she doesn't sound like anyone I'd want to care for a pet let alone a baby.

Who would call a baby "a little shit" sound's deranged to me

Spotsonmydots Fri 13-Jun-14 22:31:49

If she hasn't got a new job what is she doing hanging around the school?

JokersGiggle Fri 13-Jun-14 22:36:29

I think the children were so scared of her they'd never dare "dob her in" . All they say (even now) was that she was mean.
But according to the mum she'd say things like "they think I've been mean withholding TV time cos they xyz" and the little ones would just say "xxx was mean today"
The older two are very quiet and rarely complain about anything, and the youngest is pre lingual (obviously).
She was only with them for 2 Weeks so I doubt she's done them any lasting damage.

JokersGiggle Fri 13-Jun-14 22:37:20

her kid is in the same class as the eldest one I now look after.

mychildrenarebarmy Sun 15-Jun-14 15:09:06

Glad to hear she was only with them for 2 weeks. Have you told the children's Mum exactly what she says about them, word for word? I would because if anyone ever asks for a reference for this horrid woman (unlikely as she was only there for two weeks) I'd want to be sure Mum was fully aware.

JokersGiggle Sun 15-Jun-14 16:47:19

Mum is fully aware about the situation. No way is that cow getting a reference!

Madrigals Sun 15-Jun-14 17:15:21

She will just leave it off her cv. We had a nanny who I felt blamed DS for her inability to bond with him and left after a few weeks. She never told anyone she'd had that role I don't think as I was never asked for a ref.

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