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Recovering from csection & severe SPD. Norland Nanny useful to help me?

(96 Posts)
Katiejon Tue 12-Nov-13 23:21:21

DS born by planned csection 30 October 2013.
DD is 5 and a half.
Bottle feeding and doing night shift feeding: 4 times between 10 pm and 7 am.
Massively sleep deprived - only sleeping 2 hours at a time.
Not resting enough to stop being in pain.
Taking diclofenac.
Nearly constantly dizzy.
DH working Saturday week.
Extended paternity leave till 27 November.
Is working 3 Saturday's between now and Xmas.
Norland newborn nanny any good to help me?
(Sorry for typing in bullet points, using ipad-type thing.)
Sleep deprivation with DD led to me having daymares.
Being monitored by hospital psychiatrist.

LifeTooShort Wed 13-Nov-13 00:24:06

Yes, yes, yes. Get whatever help you need. If you like the Norland girl she will be well trained and able to take on whatever needs doing. I wish you better.

Katiejon Wed 13-Nov-13 01:20:03

Thanks.
Havd never employed a nanny before.
Will I have to stay awake to show her what to do and where things are?
Am posting this at 1.10 am and ready to call psychiatrist in morning to speak to DH if he opposes nanny.
Cant walk in a straight line!
V hard time at the moment as I miscarried a year ago: missed miscarriage at 9 weeks, 2 x medical management to avoid ERPC and had to have ERPC as still had womb lining and couldn't face waiting for a heavy period to arrive at a date unknown.

redcaryellowcar Wed 13-Nov-13 05:19:06

if you can afford it norland nanny sounds great idea.
hope you start to feel better soon.

Oblomov Wed 13-Nov-13 06:54:04

Yes. You must do this. Please. You need support.

SquidgyMummy Wed 13-Nov-13 07:13:58

If you can afford a nanny then definitely yes to whatever help you can get.
Norland are expensive so she should be very well trained and you should be able to hand over your DD so you can get the rest you need

Pollydon Wed 13-Nov-13 07:17:03

Yes, get one in asap & flowers for you.
This too shall pass.

mrswishywashy Wed 13-Nov-13 07:33:42

Also could look into a night nanny or maternity nurse. They specialise in newborns so you would not have to show them what to do where with an Norland Nanny or any nanny they may not have new born experience.

Also as they are self employed you won't have to worry about tax etc and you could have them for as many nights per week as possible.

NomDeClavier Wed 13-Nov-13 09:38:02

You don't necessarily need a Norlander but you definitely sound like you need some kind of help! A night nanny or maternity nurse is an excellent alternative if they're happy to help with DD. The key thing is to get someone with experience who can come in and pick up the pieces, and in your state I'd advise going through a reputable agency - look for one that's a member of the REC.

You could try contact the organisations that train maternity nannies - MNT and NEST - to see if any of their graduates are free.

2plus1 Wed 13-Nov-13 09:48:56

A Norlander will have newborn experience through their work placements. I know as I have trained some. Def get some help so that you can rest, recover and enjoy your baby.

Katiejon Wed 13-Nov-13 10:00:59

Thank you all for your support.
DS was up nearly all nite. Not crying but feeding and wanting cuddles.
Got milk in his hair at 4 am. Posseted in his basket. I woke up DH and he took over but I still had to sterilise bottles so I could sleep later today.
DH said to sleep, I said dont even feel tired any more cos had to suppress urge to sleep.
Crying and told up him am up sh#t creek when he is working the Saturday's.
He booked them without discussing it with me.
I found out 3 days before csection when looking in hus work diary to ensure he had no work commitments when needed to do school run!
DH thinks our aupair can look after baby unsupervised, despite never changed a nappy before yesterday.

Katiejon Wed 13-Nov-13 10:08:58

Thank you all for your support.
DS was up nearly all nite. Not crying but feeding and wanting cuddles.
Got milk in his hair at 4 am. Posseted in his basket. I woke up DH and he took over but I still had to sterilise bottles so I could sleep later today.
DH said to sleep, I said dont even feel tired any more cos had to suppress urge to sleep.
Crying and told up him am up sh#t creek when he is working the Saturday's.
He booked them without discussing it with me.
I found out 3 days before csection when looking in hus work diary to ensure he had no work commitments when needed to do school run!
DH thinks our aupair can look after baby unsupervised, despite never changed a nappy before yesterday.

Leopoldina Wed 13-Nov-13 10:12:02

tell DH to take the day off work and look after baby unsupervised and then see what he thinks.
If you can afford it, hire in help. If you haven't found anyone yet, I recommend Eden nannies for maternity nurses

mrswishywashy Wed 13-Nov-13 10:40:41

Katie: if you want help finding a MN the calling NEST or MNT is a good idea for student PNCs. I also recommend Maternity Solutions. And if needed I could ask colleagues if any are available for immediate help, would just need your area.

MrsMarigold Wed 13-Nov-13 11:04:21

I have had an au pair untrained but a natural and the a Norland. I had a c-section, PND, a huge house , husband always at work and all I can say is go for it! My DD who I can't get off the breast now had loads of bottles in the early weeks and it didn't seem to interfere with breastfeeding.

Buy the book by Your Baby Week By Week by Caroline Fertleman - it saved my sanity as it is very well laid out.

Let the au pair just hold and cuddle the baby while sitting upright while you rest. Firm patting and literally hoicking it over your shoulder gets rid of trapped gas. My dad who is like a baby whisperer is quite vigorous and I was horrified but he always seems able to calm babies. If colicky behaviour persists also see the GP so you can rule out reflux - insist on ranitadine for the baby rather than infant gaviscon if it is reflux.

Norland nannies just know babies so very reassuring but a maternity nurse might be better. Also in the longer term I found the Norland a bit too strict.

Not sure if this helps either but with both children I remember weeks two and three being the worst of my life, I hadn't bonded with them, felt resentful and couldn't understand why anyone ever had children. My body ached, they needed to be held all the time, I wanted to sleep, breastfeeding was so stressful. It passes and once they start smiling it gets loads better. I love mine to bits but would have handed them back then.

Good luck.

Katiejon Wed 13-Nov-13 11:37:16

Very grateful to you all for your support and tim berners lee for inventing the internet.
I dont feel so alone.
DH medical person and fully aware of csection recovery, spd and susceptbility to daymares.
I live in London NW4.
DH admitted he cant look after both on his own - he's not recovering from major surgery!
Am so used to being in pain from SPD that I ignore the pulling feeling inside me.
Also pain in sides and legs.
Slept 4 hours between 5 and 9 am.
DH said go back to bed, I said I need to eat, also have to supervise au-pair, arrange for DH to collect painkiller prescription from Boots and more teats for bottles,, order spare moses basket mattress cos baby posseted on it at 4 am, order more binbags and hoover bags and whats for dinner? DH not understanding there is no magic Tesco fairy who magically replenishes the fridge!

MrsMarigold Wed 13-Nov-13 11:50:49

Hi I live not too far from you - get in some M&S ready meals in - send the au pair to Brent Cross to stock up, they are great at times like this! Also can she fetch your prescription and go to buy the moses basket mattress from John Lewis. And just pop the baby i the middle of the spare room bed in his sleeping bag - he won't move much. Also saves you having to supervise her.

smile

areyoutheregoditsmemargaret Wed 13-Nov-13 11:55:47

Sympathies. I agree, you don't actually need a Norlander but a maternity nurse might be the very ticket. Then you can catch up on sleep. Good luck, it will get better.

Katiejon Wed 13-Nov-13 13:23:23

Hi marigold.
Aupair doing running around already.
Ready meals notgood for me as am lactose intolerant.
Good ideas.

Blondeshavemorefun Wed 13-Nov-13 13:55:47

You def need help and you need sleep

Personally I would advise a night nanny rather then a Norland nanny - esp if newly qualified and prob won't have much new born baby exp

A night nanny will able you to get a decent nights sleep and therefore heal quicker from cs and if not so tired you will be able to cope with day better

They will also help bubs get into a routine and clean and sterilise bottles etc for following day for you

Ideally 3 nights a weeks - sun tue thur giving you sleep every other night and dh can do fri and sat eve when home from work

The ap can help with housework or get a cleaner or dh can do it and again can do bottles for you the days night nanny isn't

Sending out for m&s meals is good - basically anything that makes your life easier at the moment do it smile

threeisatragicnumber Wed 13-Nov-13 14:15:59

Order this:

http://www.cookfood.net/menu/shop/remarkable-meals-on-wheels/weekly-meal-boxes/our-favourites-meal-box/

or similar from them. Its a lifesaver (even now mine are a tad older!).

Please get all the help you need/can afford. There are no prizes for making yourself exhausted/ill/crazy.

I had a mother's help every weekday afternoon for a few weeks after no 3 - non qualified mid twenties trainee teacher who I got on really well with. She was perfect for sorting out the bigger kids dinner/bath/playing etc at the worst (for me!) part of the day. It meant I could feed/sleep etc and make it through to bedtime without exploding. posisbly get au pair to take over that role?

I've never had a night nanny, but it sounds great!

Good luck xxx

Katiejon Wed 13-Nov-13 14:28:54

Haven't got a spare bedroom for a nite nanny.
I dont think they can sleep on sofa - can they?

Blondeshavemorefun Wed 13-Nov-13 14:54:56

I have been known to sleep on a sofa smile a bed is nice but not everyone has a spare room esp once have kids and ap

Bloody comfortable compared to a single lumpy bed I had once in one of my night jobs

In the end the mat nurse or night nanny is there to look after bubs - if I get sleep then great and mostly I sleep 11.30/3 and 3.30/6ish most nights but if I didn't then not a problem iyswim

When you interview a NN show her where she will sleep and I'm sure no one will complain about a lack of bed

What area are you in? There are a few of us on mn so maybe one of us is local x

Katiejon Wed 13-Nov-13 17:13:33

If night nanny sleeps on sofa, then baby has to sleep downstairs too.
Want him upstairs at nite to learn difference between nite and day.
Is this a good idea or baby too young to learn difference?

Katiejon Wed 13-Nov-13 17:15:06

Aupair can look after DD for dinner etc but still have to look after baby at 0300.

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