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How old/ young was your baby when you went back to work?

(39 Posts)
firstimer30s Wed 16-Oct-13 14:28:02

Considering going back 4 days a week when baby is 3 months old. Is this evil or has anyone gone back when they are this young? Was it ok??

Blondeshavemorefun Wed 16-Oct-13 14:55:03

Not Evil at all if YOU are happy with it and with what childcare you have in place

Lots of mums will say I couldn't go back that early blah blah blah

I have had mums go back at 3mths - 4mths - 6mths and after a year. Last mb went back at 8weeks tho worked from home for the first month up in the office - but still worked 9-5

Friends boss went back at 3 weeks as her own company and needed to

There was a thread a while back on aibu to go back to work at ......

UriGHOULer Wed 16-Oct-13 14:56:32

Have you had your baby? You might feel differently when you have known each other for a bit.
3 months is awfully young to be leaving him/her but if you feel you need to... <shrug>

Potol Wed 16-Oct-13 15:01:29

I went back full time at 7 months but I fit my work into 4 days. So 4 long days where I am there for breakfast and an hour before bed and I have a day off. I miss my kid but I also have to get everything else done once he is asleep (and with a supportive DH who does cooking, cleaning, pick ups etc). It's hard but possible. The sleep deprivation at 3 months would have made it hard to go back to work but my mother did it with me and survived and we have a super relationship so clearly it is possible.

LifeofPo Wed 16-Oct-13 15:01:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VerySmallSqueak Wed 16-Oct-13 15:03:49

About 4 and a half months with both.
By necessity rather than choice but they were fine and so was I.

I would have found it a bit harder to do it earlier as I found it took them until about that age to sleep reliably through the night from about 7pm .

But you do what you do,and you manage,hopefully and ideally with some support from partner/family/friends.

It's certainly not evil and disregard anyone who tries to put the guilts on you.

VerySmallSqueak Wed 16-Oct-13 15:05:59

One thing I will say is that I would have found it much harder if I hadn't worked really hard on a sleep and night time routine at the first possible opportunity.

JauntyHat Wed 16-Oct-13 15:10:46

1st time round - 2 years
2nd - 5 months, FT plus evening job too.

Both were fine. smile

NomDeClavier Wed 16-Oct-13 19:15:49

4 months. Unlike a previous poster we don't have a sleep/night routine - we coslept which meant any night disturbances were minimal, I managed to keep exclusively BFing and we got plenty of cuddle time!

This time I'm likely to have to go back 1 afternoon a week at 3 months but DS's nursery have a space and I trust them.

KingRollo Wed 16-Oct-13 19:19:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NatashaBee Wed 16-Oct-13 19:20:30

Only 3 months mat leave in the US where I live, so I worked up till the day I went into labour and went back when DS was 3mo. It was tough and I was pretty useless due to lack of sleep - but DS settled in easily. If you have to do it, then you have to do it - you can't beat yourself up over it. Is your DH/partner supportive? I couldn't have done it on my own, DH had to do his share of the night feeds.

And yes, if I did it again I would try far harder to get some sort of routine in place.

elliepac Wed 16-Oct-13 19:20:32

5 months with both of them. Through necessity as i am the highest wage earner.

Both went to the same brilliant CM who has been like a mother to them and they still go to her now at 10 and 5.

Find childcare you are happy with is my biggest tip. If you know they are happy and well cared for then you can relax. It has not harmed my dc's in any way or the relationship I have with them now or the relationship i had with them when they were tiny.smile

RandomMess Wed 16-Oct-13 19:25:16

With my eldest she was 9 weeks old as those were the benefit rules

dd2 - 4 months - as that was ML then

TBH I think it's actually easier/advantageous as they don't suffer from seperation anxiety when little and by the time it kicks in they know their carer.

3 months (no choice, family breadwinner). I continued to breast feed until 15 months though, using a breast pump.

hettienne Wed 16-Oct-13 19:28:56

I would only go back that early if I could find a really good childminder or nanny.

Not as evil as me, OP. My DS was 19 days old when I went back full time. DH is a SAHD though so at least he had one of us! It's whatever has to suit your circumstances these days, unfortunately. Personally I think I would have found it harder if I had had months off with him, then had to go back.

11 months both times. I still didn't feel ready! blush

NutritiousAndDelicious Wed 16-Oct-13 19:36:55

When he was 3 months, went bak full time 9-5 mon - fri I had no choice. At the time I got on with it......now Hes 5 I regret it.

But you have to do whats right for you. Ignore everyone else's opinion tbh!

Eldestoffive Wed 16-Oct-13 19:38:53

I have just started a new business and I take my five month old with me,
He has a big silvercross pram and sits in it while I work!
I'm a fishmonger!!!
l

FiveExclamations Wed 16-Oct-13 19:42:34

When my DD was 10 weeks old, that was back when you only got 18 weeks maternity pay.

We needed the money and my good job was just looking like it might turn into a decent career.

stargirl1701 Wed 16-Oct-13 19:43:11

I went back 2 days a week after 13 months.

8.5 months with dd2. 23 months with dd1. By the time I went back with dd 2 I was a lone parent and she still doesn't sleep through. Dd2 settled at nursery much more quickly than dd1 and adores her nursery nurse. Traitor wink

AHardDaysWrite Wed 16-Oct-13 19:44:11

First child, 10 months on a four-day week. Second child, 9 months, full time. I would love to carry on with my four days but DH is a student now so we can't afford it. Plus, I like being able to afford a holiday once a year and the occasional meal out, and the difference between me doing four days and five days pays for those.

WingDefence Wed 16-Oct-13 19:47:33

9 months with DS and I'm going back to work in two weeks time when DD will be 7 months.

If you haven't had your child then you may feel differently (about everything) once your baby is here, but also factor in how much you love like your job, commuting time and how long your days will be (ie with the chance you'll still be up once or twice a night at 3 months), how good your employer is at flexible working and your ability to get away quickly if needed and your own situation ie whether you actually need to go back that early.

I am the breadwinner in our house and 7 months is fine this time round. With DS I was climbing the walls at 7 months anyway because I am definitely not cut out to be a SAHM - I love my job too.

You baby will be fine whatever you choose - my advice is to think of yourself really. In some ways it'd be easier to leave a 3 month-old as they don't really do much whereas no DD is 7 months she is currently gorgeous.

Your heart will break a tiny bit whatever you do and the Mummy Guilt will always be there. You choose what is right for you smile

firstimer30s Thu 17-Oct-13 11:56:51

Thanks for all the responses - really good to hear from you.
My employer is fairly flexible so I can work from home a bit, but still don't really have the option to stay away for longer than 3 months.

My heart did sink a bit when I saw this on the front page this morning! http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/10384281/Children-who-spend-time-in-nurseries-more-likely-to-develop-behavioural-problems.html

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