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sitters babysitter - allowed out with pram etc?

(15 Posts)
utopian99 Mon 07-Oct-13 15:48:55

Hi
forgive me being hysterically pfb about this but we have just started using sitters for daytime babysitting while I work in the same house. This is great as our 9 month old get someone to engage with him while I work from home, and I am on site should I be needed.

The thing I'm being an idiot about is that the babysitter has suggested she take him out for a walk/to the playground, and this is exactly the sort of thing my mum does with him when she comes (once a week also,) but I have never left him with a non-family adult yet in his life. I know sitters vet people but how can I get over the idea that I don't personally know this person?
Can someone put my mind at rest about their vetting?

note- she's been here for an hour so far and seems totally lovely and tells me she has been a nanny and nursery manager before, its ONLY thath I don't know her personally..

BlackandGold Mon 07-Oct-13 17:20:13

To be honest that doesn't sound like babysitting to me.

If I was babysitting I wouldn't expect to take a child out of the house.

It sounds as though you have employed her for childcare, not babysitting.

Callaird Mon 07-Oct-13 17:21:09

I would just say what you said here, that you are a little pfb and you don't really feel comfortable with this just yet.

He's your baby, what you say goes. How much work are you going to get done if you are constantly thinking/worrying about them!

Does she have references for you to look at? Could you call some of them? Although it is probably not worth it if you get a different sitter each week.

I'm a nanny, 27 years experience, if an employer said that she'd rather I stayed home, then it wouldn't worry me. Even though I am a big advocate of children getting plenty of fresh air every day!

Yerazig Mon 07-Oct-13 17:24:12

I think what you need is to employ a regular childcare who you personally vet get to know etc then you would feel more comfortable leaving the person with your child to go to the park, walks. You may want to look at a mothers help type person. A nanny with another job. Your concerns won't go away if your not always getting the same "babysitter" to come.

Chandra Mon 07-Oct-13 17:31:50

I have a few babysitters and they all have a different idea on what is ok or not:

The one that has another job as a nanny doesn't see any problem in taking DS to the park, play cricket with him and go and walk dog and boy at the same time.

The be who has another job as a nursery nurse cringes at the idea of taking DS out of the house. If I suggest that, she gets all upity and starts reciting something about health and safety, legal stuff and how her insurance would be affected.

My friend who is a SAHM thinks that babysitting is about letting DS entertain himself while she gets on with another stuff.

Personally I love the nanny, DS has a fantastic time with her and gets plenty of exercise and fresh air. The nursery nurse is great but I really don't like DS to spend the whole say playing board games in the living room. My friend who babysits... sometimes I wonder why I am paying her so much if she is really ignoring DS for half of the time.

NomDeClavier Mon 07-Oct-13 17:37:24

I think you're a bit nuts for having different sitters because you'll never build up to a point where it's ok for you to let them take him out.

Personally I think it's a fab idea, but it's something that cones with trust and trust comes with time which you don't seem to have.

I wish I could put your mind at rest about their vetting, but I'm just going to say what I day on every thread like this. Just because an agency says they vet people doesn't mean they will to the same standard that you do. It's your responsibility to ensure that the person you leave your child with has been appropriately checked. Many agencies do not take up detailed references and rely on seeing pieces of paper which prove nothing, and unless you ask to see ID you have no guarantee this person is the same person Sitters checked.

NomDeClavier Mon 07-Oct-13 17:38:08

It's a fab idea for carers to take children out to the park or for a walk I mean.

Chandra Mon 07-Oct-13 17:48:24

Agree that it is not a good idea to have different sitters, you need a regular one that your child and you can grow to be comfortable with. You cannot expect for things to work smoothly if you don't even know who will be showing up next day in a regular basis.

Blondeshavemorefun Mon 07-Oct-13 18:56:56

daytime babysitting is nannying - babysitting is when children are asleep in evening and bs sits on bum watching tv but with one ear open smile

sitters are well known for using diff people so very likely you will get lots of different carers and therefore you will find it hard to trust anyone if always someone new

i do a lot of emergency work through agencies including tinies and i always ring family day before and have a brief chat

only you can be the one who can relax enough to allow someone to take your child out

i have known on occasion that sitters dont always vet (sorry not what you want to hear) everyone they use

so the best thing you can do is to call her refs yourself

lovelynannytobe Mon 07-Oct-13 19:00:03

I sit for sitters and they did follow up all my references. With sitters unfortunately you can never guarantee you're going to get the same person. I have families I come back to a lot but sometimes I see their booking but I just can't make it for one reason or another so somebody else goes there.
I think you need to employ somebody on regular basis as you will always have this issue with an agency.
I personally would not go back to babysit during the day for you if I was told to stay in.

Karoleann Mon 07-Oct-13 21:42:17

I've used sitters for daytime childcare before and it worked well before the separation anxiety kicked in (fairly late for my 3 - 18 months ish).
I generally gave them the option of going out if they wanted, so said here is the buggy if you want to go out. I'd say probably half did and half didn't.
I always asked them to stay very locally.
I've used sitters for years and only had a problem once with a sitter who spoke very poor English. (We also had a couple of no shows). I find it really convenient.

utopian99 Tue 08-Oct-13 07:40:02

I agree with posts above that what we really want is a regular person who I could get to know. The problem is that I put a profile up and asked a lot of people on childcare websites and no one wants such part time work (Monday and Tuesday afternoons)

I was hoping to find someone through sitters who I could then ask for every time but am really struggling. We live in Woking at the moment but are moving to London in February when I hope finding a mother's helprtype person or nanny share might be easier..

beachyhead Tue 08-Oct-13 07:50:25

Hopefully when you move, you may find a nanny share with someone, where you can just use the nanny on Mondays and Tuesdays. Or have you looked at local nurseries? They tend to be more flexible in terms of just mornings and afternoons

utopian99 Tue 08-Oct-13 08:38:39

I agree with posts above that what we really want is a regular person who I could get to know. The problem is that I put a profile up and asked a lot of people on childcare websites and no one wants such part time work (Monday and Tuesday afternoons)

I was hoping to find someone through sitters who I could then ask for every time but am really struggling. We live in Woking at the moment but are moving to London in February when I hope finding a mother's helprtype person or nanny share might be easier..

utopian99 Tue 08-Oct-13 08:40:44

Oops sorry for the duplicate post. Nanny share would be great - I don't know why but I would prefer them in or from my house..

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