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Nannysharing with two babies/young toddlers?

(11 Posts)
minipie Fri 06-Sep-13 17:58:21

We've found a nanny to look after our dd when I return to work, dd will be about 11 months. we're considering a nanny share but can't decide if it's a good idea or not.

financially we don't absolutely need to share (though obv the savings would be nice) but I wondered if it might be better for dd to have someone to play with. Question is whether these "social benefits" really exist and if so do they outweigh the compromises involved in a share.

DD is quite a handful, extremely active and vocal, wants constant entertainment, short naps etc. Great fun but bloody hard work. I can't work out if this means a nannyshare is good (dd is less likely to be bored and might learn to share/be a bit more patient <wildly optimistic>) or bad (nanny might spend whole time firefighting and not be able to spend any one on one time with dd)

nanny seems quite keen on a share (has just done one) but my cynical side wonders if this is due to the extra £.

thoughts and experiences appreciated... thanks.

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 06-Sep-13 18:05:43

'I wondered if it might be better for dd to have someone to play with'

Nanny-shares can be fantastic, but not for this reason imo, just encourage the nanny to have lots of playdates.

If you want some savings and a bit of interaction for DD maybe look at sharing with someone who has older children who only needs before/after school. That could be best of both worlds and nice for DD to have interaction with older children that she won't encounter on playdates/at playgroup etc.

minipie Fri 06-Sep-13 19:35:31

Thanks Outraged, yes I suppose play dates/play groups would work if there are enough of them. I don't know many babies who are not at nursery though, will the nanny be able to find people to have play dates with? we live in child land so i guess so.

The older children share is an interesting possibility, in fact dd does show more interest in older children than other babies at the moment. But would dd end up on the school run/ballet run/football club run the whole time? also the families with older children mostly already have a nanny tho I'm sure there are exceptions.

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 06-Sep-13 20:41:41

I've never been to an area where all the babies are in nursery 5 days a week so I would think there will be plenty to socialise with at playdates/singing/baby gym/playgroup etc. What stuff do you do with her now?

I think if you offer a before/after school share you'll have people biting your arm off tbh. You only have to look through posts on here to see what a problem it is to find a nanny for school age DC.

Your DD obviously would need to go on the school run, but I don't think that's a bad thing (as long as the school isn't miles away). Half hour trip out in the pram twice a day is hardly a bad thing for a baby, bit of fresh air, excuse to go out when the weather is bad. If it's the school she will go to then even better because she'll know the building, the teachers, the drop off/pick up routine etc.

Maybe look at sharing only 3/4 days if you're worried about doing it everyday and I would choose someone whose DC's don't do afterschool clubs/ have other arrangements for pick up/drop off for clubs.

Seb101 Fri 06-Sep-13 21:35:21

I currently do a nanny share looking after two 20 month olds; have done it since they were 12 months.
I love it!!
They are best friends! On the rare occasion I have just one of them, they are by far harder work! Needing much more entertaining and getting bored really easily. Together they are a dream. They play wonderfully and entertain each other endlessly. Yes they occasionally squabble, but overall I've found huge benefits. I would definately recommend this type of arrangement. Yes I earn more, which is great, but the children are so happy together. I would seriously consider this option. Good luck with whatever you decide grin

minipie Fri 06-Sep-13 21:43:05

thanks - much food for thought!

Outraged I do various classes with her now but mostly it's mums who are taking their DCs to the classes rather than nannies (and i've not been very good about making friends with the mums) though this may be different when the classes re start after summer and the babies in DD's classes are older. you're right I could pick a family where the school is nearby and they don't do clubs.

Seb thanks! interesting that it is actually easier for you to have two...

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 06-Sep-13 22:06:35

Nannies and mums are allowed to communicate you know?! I have loads of playdates with mums, nannies, childminders, au pairs, grandparents and even a great aunt. If the kids get on/would enjoy each others company it doesn't really matter who the carer is!

minipie Sat 07-Sep-13 21:30:57

yeah sorry of course! I guess I just assumed nannies would hang out with other nannies as that's what I've mostly seen discussed on MN...

OutragedFromLeeds Sun 08-Sep-13 01:39:07

It's probably true that nannies 'hang out' with other nannies. The nannies and au pairs are the only ones I socialise with outside of work. I've never met great aunty Diane for a drink on the weekend, but her three great nephews are the same ages as (and good friends with) 3 of my charges so we have playdates from time to time.

No good nanny is going to allow your child to become socially isolated because they can only interact with other nannies (although other nannies may be their preference when available).

Blondeshavemorefun Sun 08-Sep-13 10:10:01

I socialise with nannies cm granny mums etc - I'm sure you will find that your nanny will find people and similar ages children to play with smile

Personally I don't like nanny shares as har to be so careful to pick the right one and make sure all parents have the same views on sleep routine food tv discipline going out etc

As you can afford a nanny I wouldn't bother with a share - tho maybe an after school one for 2/3 days could work if a 5 day job - but yes your baby would be going on school run / possibly cutting short her pm sleep / possibly being 2nd in attention when say doing reading /homework

All things that if you have another child may happen and that's life with siblings but doesn't have to be iyswim

Others like seb love shares smile but does depend on the child's personality as well as yes it's like looking after twins (my fav) if similar age but remember your child and theirs gets 100% attention from 2 parents when not working and when the nanny has them will be 50% and just her - and many families forget that

Personally I would either book in activities / clubs like music /swim / tumbletots or ask nanny what she would like to do

minipie Wed 11-Sep-13 09:04:59

Thanks again everyone, I think we probably won't share for the moment, but might look into it again next year once dd is older and we've got to know the nanny better. have booked a few activities though and there are lots of playgroups around so hopefully our nanny will be able to meet plenty of people (nannies, mums, dads, grannies etc wink) for play date purposes.

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