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Am I asking for too much? Tidying up toys...

(27 Posts)
DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Fri 30-Aug-13 22:51:20

I really don't know if I'm being a crazy demanding evil boss or not? I'm not meaning to be so break it to me gently if I am please!

Background, am disabled single mum so have 3 people working for me (2 part time, 1 full time), and the role is a souped up mothers help (nanny + housekeeper + fetching, carrying & organising bits and pieces).

The issue am struggling with is that the full time nanny really doesn't do tidying well, and I'm relying on the two part timers to tidy up after her, which is working out v expensive and just messy and dirty to my standards...

The bottom line is it causes problems due to my health - slip hazards, tripping over stuff, and if I try to do something, like make a drink, I can't cos I can't find a clean cup/ where the sugar is, where a tea spoon is etc, so instead I try for 5 mins then go back to bed without drink and really upset)

I had a word with her several times and made her aware if the problem and she said she d improve, but she doesn't (can't?) really. Then i had to make it serious and official verbal warning, as she didn't leave the vital things I needed for the night (water for me, nappies so I can change ds overnight), so I had to get up in the night, fell over a bag that was left between bed and door... And had bad concussion for two weeks plus dislocations sad

I thought it might be a wake up call but it's actually got a lot worse. I asked her to focus on a few things as she just can't seem to do it, but it's not really working...

Are my standards too high? Or significantly higher than a normal nannying job to the point where it's impossible? I know things like leaving specific stuff ready for the night, and moving trip hazards out of the way are, but actually the thing she really just cannot get her head around is the toy tidying:

I am after her being able to tidy all toys up as she goes along/ at end of day, into a state which means you can just pull the toys out and be able to play with them.

I mean, put all bits in the same game / set back into the right box/ bag together, rather than leave missing bits scattered around the house, under sofas, behind bookcases, down back of sofas, in another toy box etc...

This is really important to me practically as it's rare for me to play with the toys but when I do I frequently find we can't play whatever he wants to play and it ends in tears from him, or injury from me if I've searched the house for the pieces... And then I've run out of energy/ pain free movement to do the playing after all that.

I don't get that this is a awful, too hard, mean
Thing to ask???

Surely when playing with a preschooler you play with stuff and after a while of getting various toys out, you then do some tidying up with the child putting things back do there is room for the next activity? So if items are missing they are spotted at the time, and found then or at the end of the day whilst having a quick last tidy?

She doesn't even notice when things go astray, and then shrugs when I mention it, says she ll look for it, comes back shrugs again and says 'noooo I can't find it sorry'. And in her head that's it, and in my head, she's just damaged/ broken a toy... Yet again, and offered to solution or seems bothered in the slightest.

I feel it's actually very careless and rude way to treat someone else's belongings. I'd never go into someone's house, mess it up, lose stuff, and not give a shit...and she's teaching that possessions can be destroyed and lost and that fine, to my child!

It's not just occasionally, it's almost every day! I know I can't live like this, the amount of money I've spent on replacing stuff over and over again, the strain on me, and i don't get why someone would be like this???

I should say she's a very good employee in other ways, and I really really don't want to get rid of her. But I need her to get up to speed on this as its becoming a deal breaker...

Some examples, all sound silly but imagine it everyday, most of the toys...

Eg. There is a pirate ship w captain hook, Peter pan etc, and some pirate treasure. My ds adores Peter pan but it gets lost, for weeks at a time, until I turn the house upside down and find it again.., I bought another one, and she 'lost' that too. Why is it do hard to put it back in the ship when they've finished playing with it???

And a bus game, needs cardboard buses, passenger cards and a spinner... Again spinner lost for 2 months, only for me to find it half under the sofa, half in another toy box (dressing up box)... How would she not notice the game is unplayable without it, and why did the pieces end up all over, it's not a physical game where bits get everywhere...

And my last example, raa raa the lion player, my ds knows all the characters (6 of them), every bloody time he plays it with her... At least 3 get 'lost', he loves these so much he takes them to bed and gets so upset when he can't find them.

These are just a few examples, but nearly everything is like this, tennis rackets but no balls, etc etc etc

I should say, he's not a messy child so it's not like he's a horror a d shes going behind trying to clear up his mess.

longjane Mon 02-Sep-13 17:10:37

Look toys do get lost ....

So I agree do the staff meeting and list of this things you need doing morning and night .
I would also have a start time for the clean up so it all get done in time. And say this has to be done above anything else.

Tell the cleaner to move all furniture and to hunt down the sides of sofa every week.

The practice of putting thing out reach . Give her box and every thing goes in the box during the day . All things in box put away at end of day.

Child bedroom . Sheets removed for bed everyday . Bed moved to hunt for toysevery day . Bed room tidy once in morning and once at end of day.

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Mon 02-Sep-13 23:11:06

Omg my lounge is beauuuuutiful this evening smile

Have been getting carer 2 & 3 to bottom out everything in there and rearrange and tidy so it feels spacious and calm and loverly... I mean, loads still unsorted and disorganised but, it's still lovely. I actually want to be in there now!

Discovered 16 toys with bits missing or broken... So yes, toys get lost, but really?

I am dreading carer 1s return as I'm going to have to address this properly

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