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what's so off putting about employing a nanny with their own child??

(150 Posts)
glitternanny Mon 24-Jun-13 20:32:15

I am stuck - really stuck.... maybe you kind MNers can help me understand...

I'm job hunting due to a reduction in hours with my current families and I have my own 18 month old son. He's been coming to work with me since he was 12 weeks old - I had a very short maternity leave partyly due to my commitment to my job and he is very very easy to look after, always has been.

I returned to work to one job I had and a new job where their youngest was just 3 months older than my boy - which was very challenging, they are now the best of friends.

I love my jobs, my charges love my son - him being with me just makes my day busier and in some ways harder but I am always the professional - I am very committed to doing the same job i would do without him with him there with me and more often than not I completely over compensate having him with my by ignoring him and leaving him to his own devices while doing my job.

My charges and my bosses (who often work from home) can back this up completely.

Also my son isn't with me for 1/2 the week (approximately) as his dad works shifts and when he's off my son stays with him.

I've never taken a drop in salary, I've rarely taken time off because of my boy and have his dad and grandparents/friends on standby if I need to.

SO WHY wont you mums consider someone like me?

I appreciate you are paying for your children to be looked after, but I am doing that - I'm still the nanny I am without him - I'm just busier when he's there, he's not with me all of the time, he's just part of the package.

OR mums want a salary reduction of 50% (my latest interview where the family totally loved me but want me for 1/2 my current rate even when he's only with me half the time I'm there) yes I'm lucky to have my boy there but this isn't a nannyshare, I am still working by your rules/requests/routine/preferences etc - I don't get to do my own thing like I would if I were a SAHM

I'm now trying to find childcare for my son so I can carry on working, which given that I'm leaving my house every morning at 6:20 and I'm not home until 6:30 (and that's only if my employers trains are on time etc) its really hard.

What can I do to make myself more employable? To get parents to at least meet me so I can get them to love me rather than seeing I come with my own child and am instantly dismissed.

I'm a great person, I am excellent at my job my charges love me and my bosses give me excellent references, I'm reliable committed and professional.

Aetae Tue 25-Jun-13 07:23:12

Regardless of how careful you are, you can't provide the same service as a nanny with no children - you have an extra child to look after. Just as I am suspicious of people in my office who "work from home" when they have an ill child because I don't think they're doing a full day of work, I would doubt whether you can do everything a nanny without a child does to the same level of care and attention.

A 50% drop in pay seems harsh though. As others said, a smaller discount should be enough.

TheBirdsFellDownToDingADong Tue 25-Jun-13 07:25:55

Harshly but succinctly....which one would you run into a burning building first for?

That's why.

(and it's not a criticism at all, because we would all do the same!)

I hope you manage to sort something out, I guess you need to be looking for a situation like the one described by Judy upthread.

glitternanny Tue 25-Jun-13 07:28:24

id happily drop my salary but not by 50%

I can't really travel further to work I already travel nearly 50 miles a day

im completely flexibly on my days.

glitternanny Tue 25-Jun-13 08:24:58

fwiw if a family have more than one child a nanny is faced with the 'which child do I save from a burning building' as are childminders and nurseries.

TanglednotTamed Tue 25-Jun-13 08:32:28

I wouldn't employ a nanny with a DC - have said no to interviewing one in the past. I have 3 small children, and consider that taxing enough on a nanny. Adding a fourth would only dilute attention for each child even further. Plus, I only choose a nanny who is happy to walk everywhere with the children (as I do) rather than use a car - having an extra baby (two of mine still in pushchair) would be difficult. There is a three-times-a-day school run to do (nursery/school) which means plenty of walking.

I sympathise with you, but a nanny is expensive, and most people choose that option, as others have said, because they want care totally focused around their children/lifestyle/timetable.

Judyandherdreamofhorses Tue 25-Jun-13 09:01:38

I hope you find something OP (where are you, incidentally?). I really see that having your own child could be an asset. I want my baby to have another child to play with. I find looking after the baby and his sister together easier and more fun than just one, so you probably would too. I'd look at your relationship with your child, how you interact and so on, and use that to help make a judgement.

sweetsummerlove Tue 25-Jun-13 09:04:14

I take my dc with me (2) and have been in the job around 9 months now. It was alot of work to begin with, but now my charge, who is the same age and my dc get on wonderfully. I work part time and have recently taken on another family with two children so am actually working full time right now. It took me five months to find my first btwm nanny position though and I earn £8.50 gross. So its no where near what others get but without childcare costs it equates to 1k pm 3 days a week, and around 1600pm full time (55hrs) (im not in London )

I am always soo worried about finding the next job when the other ends. My close nanny friend who has 16years experience struggled to find a job when her dd arrived. I was truly shocked and I am very aware how much harder it'll be the older she gets.

I do understand why families wouldn't want a nanny with their own but I wish more would be more open to it- the benefits my dc and my charges get from that constant social interaction is invaluable. I don't personally think you can liken it to a CM setting- they can be very stretched with ratios and all that paperwork, and a nurseries are just a stretched with higher ratios and 20-30 children in a room at a time. I have three in my care max inc my own and its totally manageable and they have a wonderful time.. I don't feel that the care I provide is compromised by having my own.. I have great relationships with both parents and children. I have been lucky that so far, we have been working with families that are relaxed and welcome us both as part of the family. x

BrianTheMole Tue 25-Jun-13 09:17:43

I wouldn't pay the full amount for a nanny to bring a child to my house and look after them alongside mine. Nannies aren't cheap anyway, and If I'm paying full wages then I would expect my children to get full attention. I'd probably pay two thirds but no more. But if I'm going down the nanny route then really I'm looking for someone who can focus on my children, as thats what I am paying for. When I was looking for nannies there was one that wanted £12 an hour, and bring her baby to work with her too. I thought that was pretty cheeky to ask so much personally.

Exhaustipated Tue 25-Jun-13 09:17:55

It's something I would definitely consider, but I would definitely expect to pay less than for a nanny without own child.

duchesse Tue 25-Jun-13 09:24:28

However good you are at your job, if you have your own child with you your attention will be divided. Your employers will NOT be getting your full attention for their child(ren). If there were a fire, your child would almost certainly take precedence over theirs if you had to choose whom to save. They do not know how fair you are in your handling of all the children together when they are not there. They do not know how demanding or otherwise your son is with your time (quite natural that if his mum is there he should expect attention from her). However cheerful and laid back he is, the parents are still getting a nanny share rather than a full-time nanny and you are effectively getting free childcare at their expense. People's salaries are down or stagnant anyway, there's not a spare penny in most families.

There are no other jobs in this country where people would expect to be able to take their children to work with them and still get paid full salary.

HappyAsEyeAm Tue 25-Jun-13 09:29:48

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/childminders_nannies_au_pairs_etc/1711729-Nanny-With-Own-Child-Employers-of-NWOC-please-talk-to-me-about-your-experiences-and-opinions

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/childminders_nannies_au_pairs_etc/1711399-Reduction-in-nannys-hourly-rate-if-she-brings-her-own-child

I hope the links work.

We employ a lovely nanny to look after our DSs (one is 5yo, the other is 1yo) and she is pregnant. I know that she is hoping to return to work (she hasn't even gone on maternity leave yet) when her baby is 6 months old. Our children will be 6 yo and 2yo then. I posted on MN a few months ago to ask for experiences of NWOC and rates.

I hope you find the replies helpful.

I haven't decided yet whether we would like our nanny to return with her own child after maternity leave. We are open minded about it, but I can see pros and cons. And who knows, she may decide its not for her in the end, anyway. We will all just wait and see!

Blu Tue 25-Jun-13 09:36:19

50% of my salary went on childcare....

A third off the usual rate seemed about right.

Blu Tue 25-Jun-13 09:36:45

Actually, way more than 50%.

ActionLog Tue 25-Jun-13 10:00:40

I would be very reluctant to hire a nanny with own child unless my role were very hard to fill or there were special circumstances that meant that I wanted a playmate for a child. Don't know where you are in the country but when I recently recruited for a nanny there were lots of good applicants as there didn't seem to be that many nany jobs around. Given I'd view a NWOC as a negative then no reason I'd want to look in that pool with many quality alternatives available.

I certainly wouldn't pay £10 per hour (I assume you mean net which nannies seem to do) for a new NWOC. I may be more flexible if an existing nanny had a baby but for a new hire I'd be hard to get off a no.

grabaspoon Tue 25-Jun-13 10:07:11

I agree that you need to factor how much it would cost to have some one to care for your child when you were at work then think of reducing your salary slightly.

BerkshireMum Tue 25-Jun-13 12:07:11

Just wanted to sympathise. I employed a nanny who had her own child when my daughter was 12 months old. She stayed through the birth or my son, for a total of four years. We all loved her and her daughter and are still in touch now. It was challenging once they started (different) schools but we made it work because she was great. Really hope you find the right family soon.

OutragedFromLeeds Tue 25-Jun-13 13:16:18

I think some people have a bit of a mental block about nwoc arrangements. The attitude that 'I want 100% of a nannies attention or a childminder' really fails to register the benefits of having what is essentially a half-way house between a nanny and childminder. A NWOC arrangement still provides many of the benefits of a nanny. The price should be reduced to reflect that the family will not get ALL the benefits of a nanny.

LadyHarrietdeSpook Tue 25-Jun-13 18:30:17

Nannies are just too expensive at full on market rates to offer the perk of bringing along their own child. Too many potential complications and compromises relative to the £500+ per week cost.

I would be willing to interview someone who offered a discount; agree 50% is ridiculous, that would barely be minimum wage on my rough and ready reckonings.

Stase Tue 25-Jun-13 18:40:40

I'm really surprised so many people aren't keen. If we needed a nanny again, I'd look for one with their own child.
We have three children, two boys at school and a daughter at home, and our nanny had a son a couple of months older than her, both under two. I did the morning school run after she and son arrived, and she did the pick up with two in a double buggy and the boys on foot. It was lovely to know that DD had someone her own age to play with, and it meant that the nanny had time for household stuff while they entertained each other. Win-win I say!
She charged £8/hr before tax, etc.

ReetPetit Tue 25-Jun-13 19:04:59

why can't you childmind op? what's so unappealing about where you live? (out of curiosity!)

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 25-Jun-13 19:08:50

reet- think op lives in a flat/mashionette with steep steps and no garden - or something like that i know her in real world and she is a fab nanny, just needs a nice family to give her a chance

weirdly enough there are lots of famillies/jobs in my area that will happily accept nwoc - often see ads saying that

move near me grin be nice to see you and ds more smile

ReetPetit Tue 25-Jun-13 19:26:48

don't let living in a flat put you off op! where i live (nw london) most cms do and there is no shortage of work. ofsted have no objection either. it might be the way to go until your ds starts nursery/school...

Tallulaxx Tue 25-Jun-13 21:04:00

I'm a full time NWOC to two families and it works brilliantly all the children are close in age and they all play together. Both were actively seeking a nwoc so there is hope out there. I would hate to hire a nanny to look after one child how lonely for that child what better than a play friend.

I get paid 8ph nett I'm in London and the going rate is 10ph nett but I have more than enough to live on smile

Patiencedeficit Tue 25-Jun-13 21:06:19

Hi glitternanny, don't lose faith in finding something. I have a great nanny who has just started working full time for us & she has her own child. So far she has proved reliable, organised and her own child is great company for my 2. I think if the right family comes along they won't let your own child stand in the way of hiring you. Just be open & honest - it's all you can do. Good luck.

skaen Tue 25-Jun-13 22:12:27

I have employed a NWOC for the last 3 years. Her youngest was the same age as my oldest. She has a slightly lower pay rate (about 20% if you're talking net) and my experience has only been positive.

Our nanny has coped brilliantly with the four children, although I think it has really helped that her children have been at school/ pre-school but locally so DS gets plenty of 1:1 interaction but also a lot of playing with slightly older children.

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