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Guilt!!

(30 Posts)
Whatalotofpiffle Wed 01-May-13 12:56:07

A parent has 3 children with me and one is currently poorly (sickness bug) so she asked if I could have her youngest while she took middle child to the doctors. This is not a day I am usually contracted for and have had a cancellation today so have a space.

Said yes, no prob, child arrived 11am. Parent back from doctors and Parent asked if child could stay longer so said yes but would need to charge.

Child then picked up immediately and I feel awful.

Should I have given a freebie? The parent had assumed it was a freebie and said so upon collection.

SweepTheHalls Wed 01-May-13 13:01:22

No guilt needed, this is your business and she is a client, not a mate. Well done you for being able to keep it professional.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 01-May-13 13:01:28

I think it depends very much on your relationship with the parent tbh, but in general no it's not unreasonable, you're running a business not a charity.

minderjinx Wed 01-May-13 13:06:50

I don't think you should feel guilty. I think asking you to cover while she visited the doctor is okay, but longer, and assuming it would be a freebie, is a bit presumptious in my view and she is the one who should be feeling bad.

Whatalotofpiffle Wed 01-May-13 13:18:19

Thank you both. We are becoming friendly but more professional I suppose. I don't think I will charge for the morning so as not to drag it up with next months invoicing

Feel terrible though

Whatalotofpiffle Wed 01-May-13 13:48:13

I bloody hate it though as I always feel so guilty.

I do find it hard to separate the personal from the professional and wonder if I should be more of a friend on occasions like this?

Ebb Wed 01-May-13 13:52:31

Don't feel guilty. She was rude to assume you'd look after her child for free! You run a business and she shouldn't be taking advantage of you.

Whatalotofpiffle Wed 01-May-13 14:16:04

Thank you so much! You know if it had been the weekend and I wasn't working, I maybe would have done it for free... Such a fine line to tread! My dd is poorly at the moment, ongoing cough and she and other little mindee are snoozing, so am trying to stop feeling guilty and have a cup of tea smile

HSMMaCM Wed 01-May-13 20:54:56

It wouldn't have been a freebie at all if the child had come to me. Sorry if that sounds hard. I would have been reluctant to take a child with an undiagnosed sibling as well.

ReetPetit Wed 01-May-13 21:57:34

you give some parents an inch and they take a bloody mile! shock

you have no reason to feel guilty. The parent should feel embarassed to assume you would provide her with free childcare, can't believe she said so on pick up - how cheeky!

I would invoice her for the morning. And fwiw, I wouldn't have child at all if it wasn't my contracted day and if I knew a sibling had a sickness bug, regardless of whether I had space or not. If child has same bug, you may all come down with it now!!

BreasticlesNTesticles Wed 01-May-13 22:01:52

I use cm's and nursery and would assume I would be paying for an hour/session if they were able to do me a favour and look after one of my dc at short notice.

Why on earth would she think it was free? confused

lukymum Wed 01-May-13 22:32:44

You are far too nice. If she wants it for free she must call a friend. I don't care if it's for ten minutes. I do reduce rates, for emergencies, death in family etc. But without being asked. I would hate that a parent would just assume that.

When my friend has my son (she's a childminder), if I'm late I make sure I pay her. I don't assume, because she's a mate it's fine. She always argues with me, but in my opinion (as a childminder myself) is if you work hard you deserve to get paid. Pleaaaaaaaaaaaase don't ever feel guilty. If you need help will any of these parents look after your kids for free?

Whatalotofpiffle Thu 02-May-13 07:24:53

Thank you everyone!

I think she thought it was free as she was dealing with a poorly child at home, but when she called me in the morning she said 'do you have a space today? Dd is bored as sibling is ill and I don't want to drag her to docs' not 'I can't afford to pay you but can you have dd for an hour'

Different entirely!

Flisspaps Thu 02-May-13 07:32:46

If I have sessions like this, I have a receipt written ready and at drop off ask if they'd like to pay now or when they pick up grin

WeAreEternal Thu 02-May-13 07:42:28

Why would anyone assume it was free at all?

You are a business not a friend, they pay you to look after their DCs, you are not a friend watching them for the odd hour or two here and there.

You should definitely bill for the morning, you don't want them to think they can take advantage.

minderjinx Thu 02-May-13 13:11:39

I agree with LukyMum - would she drop everything to have your children in an emergency? If so, she is a friend - if not, she is a customer. Having said that, I might ask a friend to have my DD for an hour while I went to the doctor's, but not for longer just because they were bored - I would think that would be imposing.

Whatalotofpiffle Thu 02-May-13 19:33:29

Up shot of the situation is that she is not quite as friendly with me now sad Gutted really as we had a great professional relationship.

She is a taker though and does take the mick fairly regularly.

I don't think it helps that I am so accommodating 90% of the time.

ZenNudist Thu 02-May-13 19:40:12

Please bill her, don't back down to avoid conflict. You sound lovely.

If I needed my nursery to look after ds at short notice In an emergency I would offer to pay. I certainly wouldn't expect to get a free mornings childcare, let alone a day! Rude & entitled. Bill her so she doesn't take the piss again grin

Whatalotofpiffle Thu 02-May-13 19:58:51

Ha ha thank you, I will smile

HSMMaCM Fri 03-May-13 12:31:50

Yes ... bill her, it sets the standard for future arrangements.

Mazzledazzle Sat 04-May-13 13:23:50

She expected a freebie? confused Why?

I've used the same childminder for 4 years and we're quite friendly. I often phone at the last minute and ask if she can take my DC and I would always pay! If it's just an hour or two i'll say "I'll pay you for the extra hours when I next pay you."

I pay a month in advance for my contracted days/hours then pay any extra hours as and when.

sleeplessinderbyshire Sat 04-May-13 20:47:01

she is bonkers to think you'd have done it for free. She wouldn't expect a freebie off a nursery or a babysitter, perhaps from a friend or relative but you run a business and are right to charge

Svrider Sat 04-May-13 21:12:29

You have done her a favour by taking her dc on a none contracted day
Perhaps you should have charged overtime!

She's taking the mickey

Don't feel guilty

Whatalotofpiffle Sun 05-May-13 08:55:22

I am just going to pop it on the invoice for June I think. My dp said I should have charged more per hour but in the contract it is the same rate for occasional childminding. Think I may change that at contract review

nannyof3 Sun 05-May-13 17:53:33

Why sud it be free.... U have a living to earn!!

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