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wwyd old au pair on facebook totally trivial

(7 Posts)
LadyHarrietdeSpook Wed 27-Mar-13 23:54:05

There is a way on FB that you can adjust your settings so that her updates are not in your timeline but you are still friends with her. Plus you can restrict your privacy settings vis a vis her. That would have achieved the aim without defriending. Some of the youth wink take that sort of thing to heart - she obvs has.

Welovegrapes Wed 27-Mar-13 21:39:12

Oh sorry blush just realised you already decided what to do!

Welovegrapes Wed 27-Mar-13 21:32:07

I think we all have responsibility to think about how others will be affected by what we do. I think it's nice that you care.

I would reply with a cheery message just saying hi x, have decided a much simpler approach to fb now - am just removing everyone other than very close friends/family. But you always have our email if you ever want to drop us a line to say how you are getting on". In practise she will never write back - she has her own life to be getting on with.

neunundneunzigluftballons Wed 27-Mar-13 12:30:31

Thank you for your input I will email her back and then block.

Victoria2002 Wed 27-Mar-13 10:31:07

I agree, be kind, say something nice about her time with you, but just come up with some excuse as detailed above about trimming down your FB friends. You are not responsible for her mental well being, but spending a few mins constructing a friendly goodbye is worth doing.

annh Wed 27-Mar-13 10:12:04

Well if you feel the need to reply at all I would tell her that you were finding it difficult to keep up with FB postings and you have reduced the number of FB friends to only family/friends from university/school mums/whatever. Then block her! You cannot consider yourself responsible for the mental well-being of someone whom you knew for some months a number of years ago.

neunundneunzigluftballons Wed 27-Mar-13 10:04:59

We had a bad experience with our first au pair. She was totally useless with children, did a tonne of housework we did not ask for or want done, so definiely not lazy but she sat our then almost 3 year old in front of the tv whenever she was there on her own. Just to clarify she only did half days. She originally told me she had much younger siblings but neglected to tell me she never actually saw them as her parents were estranged so she had literally no experience with children.... no big deal but she also had no interest. Anyway in the midst of never leaving the house with the child, drama lama with her boyfriend back home and it turning into more hassle than having another child and we asked her to leave. Personally I liked the girl but she seemed to have emotional issues on top of our many other issues not detailed here.

Anyway it actually ended well enough all pleasant enough so she sent us emails on facebook and texts along the way and I always politely updated but never initiated. Being a 23 year old going on 14 she spends her life posting idle nonsense on her facebook page in her home language. Eventually I did a facebook clear out and removed her nearly 2 years later. Now she has sent me a message asking why are we no longer friends which I would usually ignore but I do actually worry about how fragile this girl is. Should I ignore or what should I respond? It is not necessarily an au pair issue but some of your dealing with the younger spectrum of au pairs might have some experience because even though she is 23 she is young beyond her years.

That turned out longer than I expected so well done if you got this far and thanks.

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