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Poorly child

(170 Posts)
ifmamaainthappy Wed 20-Mar-13 13:49:09

Child is 14 months, has a cold, just generally not happy, contacted Mom to let her know, that she's not herself, Mom has told me she's got to much to do to collect her at the moment??? What do you do??? i can't just sit cuddling all day, have others to look after, ( i'm having a late lunch and 5 minutes right now!!)

JassyRadlett Wed 20-Mar-13 20:43:11

What fives said. I use a nursery, not a CM, but they do a similar thing. They have clear exclusion policies (D&V, certain illnesses, fever unresolved after one dose of Calpol administered with parental permission).

They are also really clear about what they want me to do in any situation. Once, at around 15 mths, DS's lovely key person called me to say he wasn't really himself, teary and clingy and off his food. They were very clear that they didn't expect me to come and get him, that they were administering cuddles and stories and she would keep me in the loop. Which she did. I then left work early but not doing the classic dash-to-collect-ill-child. It was a really good example of how the partnership can work effectively.

From the OP, I'm not clear whether she actually asked the mother to collect, or just expected the mother to respond to the news that the child had a cold with an announcement that she'd drop everything and come home.

LingDiLong Wed 20-Mar-13 20:44:42

No. I disagree. You can't legislate for everything and write a policy that covers every aspect of a child's behaviour. As parents we all know the difference when our children are a bit whingy and not quite right and when they're really unwell - your mum senses start tingling because the cry is different, their behaviour is different. It's not something that is easy to write down in a policy and ultimately comes down to trust. I don't make a habit of ringing the parents I work for so I would hope they'd trust me if I rang and said 'he/she really doesn't seem right today'.

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 20:46:06

this is the reason that we ask for more than one emergency contact - so that someone is available to collect.

it amazes me that people could be so pig headed about collecting their own child when ill! Your child is ill, you collect him/her, surely??

do people really rate their child's health/welfare below their work/shopping/gym/hair appointments??

LingDiLong Wed 20-Mar-13 20:46:59

Sorry x-post, that was to Blondes. Jassy, that's how i operate actually. I'd ring and have a chat and we'd work it out together. The idea that the OP shouldn't have been even bothering the parents with 'a cold' is one I don't agree with though.

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 20:48:17

blondes, i think you are a nanny,aren't you? we are different as childminders, we are self employed - we dictate our own terms - we don't have to look after sick children. if we feel the child is too ill to be with us we will insist on collection. a parent can not simply turn around and say 'sorry too busy' it doesn't work like that. if i got that answer, i would be delivering the child to the parent and delivering my notice to them at the same time... hmm

ceeveebee Wed 20-Mar-13 20:52:10

Reet - I doubt very much that anyone equates work with gym/shopping/hair appointments.
If i dashed off from work every time my DCs had a minor illness I would have to take unpaid leave and would seriously hamper any prospects of career development. DHs job is equally demanding and we have no family within 3 hours drive. Thankfully we have a wonderful nanny and this thread helps confirm we made the right choice.

Do CMs give a refund when they send a DC home by the way?

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 20:54:02

no, none that i know ceeveebee, as the cm is available to work...

AllDirections Wed 20-Mar-13 20:57:43

I would have to take unpaid leave and would seriously hamper any prospects of career development

Sounds normal to me. A nanny is absolutely the way to go if you earn enough to pay for one. Most of us don't. My childminder is brilliant and her fees are very reasonable but I have to look after my own child if she is sick.

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 21:01:05

very true AllDirections smile

ceeveebee Wed 20-Mar-13 21:01:08

I would of course come home if my DCs were actually ill but I don't count colds, grizzling, teething etc as illnesses.

samlamb Wed 20-Mar-13 21:04:41

Bloody hell thank god for the nannys of the world..demanding a working mother leave work to collect a child with a cold?? What the actual hell? School don't send kids home with a cold why should a cm? A cold!!??

samlamb Wed 20-Mar-13 21:09:38

Perhaps giving up child care is for the best reet .ASAP.

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 21:11:58

there are different types of cold - no one is suggesting a child be sent home with a sniffle. but schools/nurseries would send a child home that is full of cold and too ill to be in a childcare setting. who wants a sneezing/coughing/infectious child in a childcare setting with other children?
no one actually even knows this mother was at work - op says mum and dad are both full of cold - they could just have easily been at home ill themselves and still too busy to collect.

i've had a child brought to me extremely ill and with a high temp (didn't realise until she was through the door and by then mums phone was convienently switched off) and it turned out both mum and dad were at home that day!! shock

some people need to sort their priorities out, seriously!! hmm

clam Wed 20-Mar-13 21:11:59

"Do CMs give a refund when they send a DC home by the way?"

What, the CMs should be out of pocket for a child being ill?

To be frank, no one on here, except possibly the OP, has any idea what was wrong with the child. It might have been "just" a cold (although sometimes they can be severe and unpleasant), but the cold symptoms might also have been part of something altogether more serious.

And caring for a sick child is not about whether or not the CM is a trained first-aider. If my baby was ill, I'd want to care for him myself.

LingDiLong Wed 20-Mar-13 21:15:11

Samlamb, I would expect most schools WOULD call actually if a child in their care was too ill to participate in anything and was crying in consolably.

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 21:16:17

you are absolutely right samlamb - i can't wait wink

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 21:16:34

'And caring for a sick child is not about whether or not the CM is a trained first-aider'

It is in part. Of course you want to be there for your sick baby and he needs you for comfort, but on a medical level, if he did 'take a turn for the worse' and stopped breathing, for example, would you want him with you (assuming you don't know CPR) or with someone trained to administer CPR? I know what I'd choose.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Wed 20-Mar-13 21:16:43

The Op said the child was crying continuously...not "grizzling". They are different things. And Samlamb some kids have Dads too....one parent...or another pre arranged adult could come and SHOULD come to collect an unwell child.

Why should the other children be with a sick child?

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 21:19:57

Ling I think the age of the child is relevant. If a school age child was crying inconsolably and was too ill too participate in anything then I would expect them to be sent home because it's a sign something is very wrong. It's completely different with a 14 month old though. They cry, their babies, that's what they do. My youngest charge will be whingey and wanting cuddles all day when he has teeth coming through, it's not a reason to call his parents. If the 8 year old, was in tears all day it would be a completely different situation.

doughnut44 Wed 20-Mar-13 21:21:00

All I want to add to the conversation is that I am glad that I don't mind for any of the posters who say they wouldn't want to pick up a child when the minder feels that the child should be at home with their mum/dad.
Thankfully all my parents know that I would only send home if it was for the wellbeing of the child.

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 21:21:29

but outraged - you are missing the point, again... it is not the cms job to administer cpr - she is a childminder not a casualty doctor or paramedic for goodness sake.

an ill child should be sent home. it is not up to the cm to decide how ill the child is. obviously we use a level of common sense when deciding whether to call a parent but a child who has been upset all day, and has dry nappies and is obviously not doing too well should not be with a childminder. why is that so difficult to understand?

say it turned out the child had something else, dare i say, meningitis, which suddenly developed from the symptoms described to something much more serious, the parent would then be within their rights to say, the cm didn't call me, i wasn't give the choice of whether to take my child to hospital - we just can't win, can we??

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Wed 20-Mar-13 21:23:17

No Outraged...the OP said the child "was not herself" that's not "what babies do" at all! As the OP is a CM and therefore experienced I think it is safe to assume she knows what ILL is and what teething is.

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 20-Mar-13 21:23:57

To be fair Neo the OP originally said 'has a cold, just generally not happy'. Only after a couple of posts suggesting she didn't need to call the mother did we learn about the parent's illness, the constant crying, the not eating, the not drinking, the dry nappies etc. In a later post the OP said that she'd managed to deal with it.

ReetPetit Wed 20-Mar-13 21:25:49

but you know all that now Outraged, so it's not really relevant that the op didn't mention it in her first post confused

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Wed 20-Mar-13 21:26:25

Well Outraged a bit of drip feeding does not an argument win....unless we doubt the OP's version completely and assume she exaggerated....then it's STILL fair to say that the baby should be at home. Crying continuously is not a happy child. It's probably a child in pain.

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