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Nanny holiday timing and new baby -HELP

(58 Posts)
blondecat Tue 12-Mar-13 07:28:48

I have a DD aged 2 y 3 m and a nanny. A new baby is arriving mid Summer (31 July)

Obviously the nanny needs a holiday and she wants it in the summer holidays so she can see her family

We have a maternity nurse booked for the baby and a summer nanny, who is her daughter and who already helped for 3 weeks last year will be joining us - the question is when?

The nanny would prefer time off in August. I am not sure if DD would not be more confused by that - she likely forgot the summer nanny and will be alone with her for 6 days when I am in hospital.
On the other hand the summer nanny can drive and swim and works much harder.

MGMidget Thu 14-Mar-13 09:51:51

I can think of many work situations where someone well paid in a senior position would be told holiday was not allowed at certain times owing to business priorities. In fact, even in not so well paid jobs it happens. The OP and husband can afford a maternity nurse and nanny so they have professional support at this tricky time. Not unreasonable for Op to ask for advice and some comments are veering off track and not helpful. OP I think late August would work for the nanny's holiday so that your DD has the reassurance of a familiar face when you are in hospital and in the aftermath when you come home. The fact that the maternity nurse and summer nanny are mother and daughter hopefully means they will be a strong team if working alongside one another so having the summer nanny arrive whilst the maternity nurse is still there could work very well.

LadyHarrietdeSpook Wed 13-Mar-13 17:55:41

Hijack: it was on my name list for DD2. Was told no. But really like the name.

ZuleikaD Wed 13-Mar-13 17:54:15

Yes, I happened to have been reading it when I was signing up here and it was the first name that came to mind!

LadyHarrietdeSpook Wed 13-Mar-13 17:19:28

Nice name by the way, Zulieka Dobson from the book is it?

LadyHarrietdeSpook Wed 13-Mar-13 17:17:05

Exactly. None of us has any idea what he does.

ZuleikaD Wed 13-Mar-13 17:00:57

In any case it's entirely moot because none of us has any idea what the OP's husband does, it's just that some are more inclined to make excuses for him!

LadyHarrietdeSpook Wed 13-Mar-13 16:32:40

(LHdeSp starting to get really really stressed by this thread and is about to start shouting...)

A company's financial year end is not always in December!!!!!!!

(why am I engaging, why am I engaging with this thread...?)

ZuleikaD Wed 13-Mar-13 16:29:22

Who has their year end or AGM in the first week of August??

BobbiFleckmann Wed 13-Mar-13 16:03:16

Even the CEO can't - if audited accounts have to be signed off before year end / if it's a PLC and it's a public meeting / dates of AGMs are set months & months ahead and normally tie into specific events and therefore can't be moved. Many, many reasons for it. When people are paid many millions a year, they really earn their keep

Weissdorn Wed 13-Mar-13 15:30:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZuleikaD Wed 13-Mar-13 15:08:26

Sorry, Bobbi, but that's rubbish. With this much notice you're not going to tell me that a CEO or whatever can't tell his secretary "don't schedule me any meetings for two weeks after the 31 July because I'll be at home on paternity leave."

BobbiFleckmann Wed 13-Mar-13 14:02:38

the types of job which pay salaries which can cover multiple staff probably don't give great flexibility in time off. Board meetings for eg a large multinational / bank aren't easily moved for one person whether or not they have a new baby etc. OP at least recognises that. Cameron's baby was born in summer recess wasn't she? they were on holiday so must've been (careful planning on timing there?). can't remember about Blair's but as she so charmingly revealed in her memoir, the baby was a "surprise".

Backinthebox Wed 13-Mar-13 13:57:07

Well, sticking my hand up again - OH is MD of his company, we have a nanny, and had a private midwife who came every day for the first 2 weeks to help establish BFing etc. We had a part time housekeeper for the couple of months around when DS was born in order to keep the place tidy, do the laundry and to sort out the weekly food shop. I earn a reasonable amount of money, so we can afford what are essentially luxuries - people to run around after us! I would have strung OH up by his goolies if he had popped out on a business trip while I was in hospital!

Tony Blair and David Cameron both had babies in office - they managed a couple of days off with the newest members of their families!

Seb101 Wed 13-Mar-13 10:03:11

Completely understand, but your situation is probably very different to op's. If op can afford to hire nannies and maternity nurses money is probably not the issue. If money is tight and DH has to work to provide for the family, that's sad that he misses out on those special first days/weeks, but understandable.

Weissdorn Wed 13-Mar-13 08:59:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Seb101 Wed 13-Mar-13 08:17:59

No jobs that bloody important that you can't take time off for the birth of your baby! Seriously, it's a job! Very very few jobs are 'can't take time off, large majority are 'wont! Unless he's the blooming prime minister! Even then I'd say take time off! I realise op wants to hire help, I don't think it's 'unhelpful' to offer an opposing opinion.

ZuleikaD Wed 13-Mar-13 06:17:17

Sorry Xiao, but if the family can afford this plethora of childcare professionals there's no shortage of cash, so a week's unpaid paternity leave (or actual holiday, which even in the US is an entitlement) isn't going to break the bank.

There always seems to be a presumption on this board that childcarers are automatically in favour of paid-for childcare in whatever circumstances. That's not generally the case - speaking for myself I believe it's better for children to be cared for by parents. Though I'm a CM I'm a backup - it is almost never better for a child to be cared for by someone other than its parents (other than in social-services type situations).

PowerPants Wed 13-Mar-13 00:52:47

Good post xiao.

OP has the choice. Without people like OP there would be fewer jobs for nannies, housekeepers and the like.

Which would be a bad thing, right??

Xiaoxiong Tue 12-Mar-13 22:06:02

Look, the OP needs childcare, she can afford childcare, she posts in the section to do with childcare about arranging said childcare in a way that's in the best interests of her DD. And then a bunch of people take that as licence to pile in to make incredibly unhelpful comments.

What's the point of commenting on the OP's financial circumstances or attacking her DH's dedication to their family? They're ad hominem attacks and have no connection to her issue with sorting out the holiday issue.

Weiss is right in that there are some jobs where you can't take time off when a baby is born, and there are some countries (eg. the USA!) where there is no legal right to ANY paid paternity or maternity leave.

My DH works in a boarding school and is in loco parentis for his students at some points in the year. He has had trouble in the past arranging cover as other teachers have similar responsibilities. When I went 12 days overdue when DS was born - thereby using up 12 of his 14 days of arranged stand-by cover - he wouldn't have been able to take more time off. I'm sure there are other jobs that have similar restrictions or difficulties but I'm speaking solely from personal experience.

ReetPetit Tue 12-Mar-13 21:30:19

something tells me op's dh isn't stacking shelves in asda or working in mac d's hmm

he is choosing to take time off, is he not, op? in which case, you really need to rethink your priorities (both of you) they should be spending time with your dc - not employing additional help. if you can't even take the time to be together at a time like this, what is the point in it all???

IroningBoredDaily Tue 12-Mar-13 21:05:17

Wow! What a predicament! grin

If something as life changing as a new baby was occurring in my family I would absolutely ensure dc1 was being cared for by a familiar face.

I would in fact make sure that Dh had that time off to care for his dd, visit me in hospital and bring dd to visit me aswell.

MoYerBoat Tue 12-Mar-13 20:51:46

Oh come on! No-one is that important that they can't take time off when their baby is born - especially if they know the exact date.

Weissdorn Tue 12-Mar-13 18:25:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Seb101 Tue 12-Mar-13 14:44:34

Honestly.... I'd give the nanny, summer nanny and maternity nurse 2 weeks off in aug!!!
I'd then TELL my DH that he will need to take those 2 weeks off! He has loads of time to arrange his work/business. This is an amazing and priceless time for a family. You should all be together. Having loads of hired help in and out of your house sounds horrendous! It should be mum, dad, toddler and newborn, all together, muddling along! Ask grandparents for the odd bit of babysitting if needed. Those first 2 weeks should be family time in my opinion. Any father that won't take time off to support his wife and help with the children is a complete waste of space imo. He needs a kick up the arse!

drinkyourmilk Tue 12-Mar-13 13:55:40

I would want my regular nanny around during and after the birth. As a nanny I would be a bit miffed that I couldn't have my holiday when I wanted, but would completely understand.
Just talk to her and explain how you feel. Ask when the next best time would be for her to have leave and accommodate that.
Re summer care, is it possible to do a couple of days handover so your dd can get to know the temp a bit?

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