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Nanny holiday timing and new baby -HELP

(58 Posts)
blondecat Tue 12-Mar-13 07:28:48

I have a DD aged 2 y 3 m and a nanny. A new baby is arriving mid Summer (31 July)

Obviously the nanny needs a holiday and she wants it in the summer holidays so she can see her family

We have a maternity nurse booked for the baby and a summer nanny, who is her daughter and who already helped for 3 weeks last year will be joining us - the question is when?

The nanny would prefer time off in August. I am not sure if DD would not be more confused by that - she likely forgot the summer nanny and will be alone with her for 6 days when I am in hospital.
On the other hand the summer nanny can drive and swim and works much harder.

blondecat Tue 12-Mar-13 07:31:23

Oops early posting

So when to give the holiday July or August?

DH will take 1 maybe 2 days off for the birth but if he takes any holiday it will be in July. My family may come for a week max in August and his parents may pop in for a day or two but that's it

Pendipidy Tue 12-Mar-13 07:47:18

Blimey...and here are all the rest of us managing our children ourselves....how are you going to cope?....shock

MoYerBoat Tue 12-Mar-13 07:53:49

The nanny wants time off in August to spend time with her family. Therefore you give her time off in August.

ReetPetit Tue 12-Mar-13 07:57:19

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Backinthebox Tue 12-Mar-13 08:07:49

If one has a maternity nurse and a back up nanny, don't think it really matters when one's other nanny goes on holiday. But for gawds sake don't let the housekeeper and gardener go on holiday at the same time! However would you manage? grin

NewRowSees Tue 12-Mar-13 08:09:42

I'm not sure how it's self centred to want to arrange childcare in advance. Some surprisingly unhelpful comments there. I was just going to say I don't think it really matters when the nanny goes on holiday - regardless, there'll be a new person around to get used to, and a baby. I'd let her go in August if that's her preference.

And just being nosy, but why 6 days in hospital? Seems a long time...?

Branleuse Tue 12-Mar-13 08:12:20

I think shes given you more than enough notice tbh. I dont see the problem?

How many staff does a baby need?

ReetPetit Tue 12-Mar-13 08:12:25

lol at backinthebox grin
don't forget the chauffeur darling wink

Zara1984 Tue 12-Mar-13 08:12:32

You should let your regular nanny have time off in August, as is her preference, it's only fair!

6 days should not be an issue - surely your DP will be around a lot too, ie he won't be spending every waking moment at the hospital with you surely?

ZuleikaD Tue 12-Mar-13 08:20:16

You could try looking after your children yourself? Just a thought! grin

ReetPetit Tue 12-Mar-13 08:21:26

grin

Pollydon Tue 12-Mar-13 08:21:44

Your nanny is an employee, and as such has a right to take her annual leave when it suits her. Im sure your dd will be fine with the summer Nanny.
Now, must go & give Cook her orders for the day ...................

blondecat Tue 12-Mar-13 08:45:33

Ouch

DH works 14 hours a day. Last time he stayed in hospital for 12 hours and went on a business trip so he won't be able to help much.

The 6 days is a Swiss standard for c section, which I will need for medical reasons before you get on the "too posh to push" wagon. If things go smoothly i am hoping to sign myself out early. But after DD was born I was in and out of hospital with string of infections for 5 weeks and could hardly move so I am covering my bases.

The nanny's contract states that we agree on holidays that are mutually convenient. That's why I am asking for advice rather than just telling her "no, I will decide". If you think it won't make things much harder for DD that's helpful.

Weissdorn Tue 12-Mar-13 08:52:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

INeverSaidThat Tue 12-Mar-13 08:57:05

I also think that letting the Nanny have time off in August will be ok.

The summer nanny sounds good so I am sure your DD will be ok.

Hope everything goes ok.

Good luck with everything.

Still18atheart Tue 12-Mar-13 08:59:36

if you are worried about your dd not knowing the summer nanny. Why don't you get your dd used to her now. I.e having the summer nanny around on the other nanny's day off, getting both nannies to be working together a couple of days a week . So by the time July/August roles around your dd will be more comfortable with the summer nanny being around.

Zara1984 Tue 12-Mar-13 08:59:47

Fair enough OP

Really do think 6 days with the summer nanny will be fine. Perhaps she can take your DD out on lots of fun outside activities as a special treat, if she is very fit/swimmer/hard worker?

Some people are being quite judgey here. I got a 24/7 maternity nanny for 3 months the birth of DS, in the form of DMIL flying out to us, and then me flying out to family with the baby grin but I was tempted to get a professional one too, I was in such shock when I got home from the hospital.

dinkystinky Tue 12-Mar-13 09:00:55

I dont think it will make things harder for your DD so let your nanny go in August. Make sure you spend plenty of quality time yourself with your DD, and let the maternity nurse/summer nanny look after the baby a bit for you. Hope all goes well with the birth and everything.

Backinthebox Tue 12-Mar-13 09:09:19

OK, on a slightly more serious note. OP, lots depends on the employment contract and working relationship you have with your nanny (the main one, not the back up one.) My nanny has a contract which says she may take the same number of days a year holiday as I am given by my employer. I work 50%, so get 14 days leave. My nanny works 50%, so she gets 14 days too. 4 of those are Bank holidays and that's when she takes them. 5 of the other days I choose, the remaining 5 she chooses, but is to choose before my work roster is allocated in order to allow me to accommodate her holiday by ensuring I get those days off work. This is set out in her contract and was agreed when she first started working for us. So there are no surprises to either me or my nanny.

If you have a good working relationship with her, she will surely see that you are going to have a baby in the summer. Why not discuss the possibility with her now that you would prefer her, just for this year, not to take her holiday in the month your baby is due. In most normal working environments, people ask their boss for holiday but if they are busy then, the request may not be granted. Eg, I work in the travel industry - it's really hard to get Christmas, Easter or the school holidays off because it doesn't suit my employer, and a friend works as an accountant - year end (March-April boundary) is very difficult for her to get leave. If you nanny has children in school, perhaps she would like to consider taking her main family holiday at Easter or summer half term this year? You are giving her plenty of notice.

Next - wtf is your children's father? Why is your daughter going to be alone for 6 days with a woman she doesn't know (if Nanny No 2 is there.) I'm taking it you are having a planned CS at a hotel private hospital with that length of stay. (Unless you have a medical problem, in which case I apologise for my insensitivity.) I had an EmCS and several other problems, and was out of hospital in 5 days with baby1. If you are having a planned CS, your OH should have that written in big red letters in his diary already, and be with you in hospital when you want a visit, and at home to make breakfast for your other child and to read her her bedtime story. In this case, your other child should be fine with another person looking after her for a bit. If your OH is NOT going to be around, leave the bastard now, divorce him and take half his (apparently) considerable cash!

If all of us have read between the lines, and in the background of your 'woe is me, I'm going to be down to my last 2 private childcare professionals for a couple of weeks - how will I manage' is actually a story of you needing help because you are severely disabled or something, it would probably have been worth you mentioning this. Otherwise people are just going to have a little giggle about how the entitled few live. Let's face it - not having one's regular nanny because you can't sort out an employment contract properly is a bit of a first world problem, isn't it?

Fwiw, I have a nanny, and had a private midwife and a housekeeper when I had baby2. I had reasons other than 'I am loaded and I'm worth it,' some of them medical. I just didn't feel the urge to come on here and have a weird stealth boast about it!

AndBingoWasHisNameOh Tue 12-Mar-13 09:09:46

Ignore the bitchy comments OP. Given your OH is essentially unavailable, you’re having a c-section, will have a toddler to deal with and you can presumably afford it then there is absolutely nothing wrong in getting in help. Some people on here are really snotty about paying for help when they wouldn’t think twice about their Dh taking time off and family helping out. And if you work as a nanny then like most other jobs you cannot unilaterally decide what dates you want off – yesterday I had to say no to the dates one of my team have asked for to go on holiday because they just don’t work for the business and she is going to have to take another time off instead.

Anyway to turn to your actual question, how about the latter half of August – toddler will be starting to adjust to new baby and maternity nurse/summer nanny will be familiar.

Backinthebox Tue 12-Mar-13 09:12:32

Crossed posts with OP. DH needs to realise he is a father, and talk to his bosses now. Switzerland seems to be a bit rubbish with their paternity leave, but to go off on a business trip is a bit crap.

nannynick Tue 12-Mar-13 09:43:54

Current nanny covers the time you are in hospital. Summer nanny then covers whilst reg nanny takes holiday.
perhaps have a day overlap if reg nanny needs to give any training to summer nanny and for your DD to get familiar with summer nanny again.

Whatever you do there are big changes for your DD as they have a new sibling. Just go with the flow, make sure DD knows that there is one person who is there to care for her.

megandraper Tue 12-Mar-13 09:54:58

I'm going to go against the grain, and say that if it was me, I would want DC1 to be looked after by someone s/he was very familiar with in that time (mum away, new baby appearing). I was very concerned about that when I was having DC2 and DC3, (in my case it was easier, as DH and grandparents were all available). I know that my children at age 2 would have been very disturbed at being in the sole care of a stranger (perhaps they were wusses!)

In your situation I would probably discuss with your regular nanny, and find out how important the exact timing of her holiday is to her. If it's important, then I would let her have it (and try everything to make your DH be around at least some of the time, and definitely not away on a business trip) If she is willing to change dates without feeling hard done by, i would gratefully accept (and give her a bonus or perhaps an extra week's holiday to be taken at another time in the year) - keeping your regular nanny happy is important for the ongoing relationship.

People have been quite snippy, but rich people have problems too, and I imagine that most value the emotional well-being of their children! I would really question your DH though - I appreciate he doubtless has a high-flying job - but what is the point of being important if you can't control your own time when it will make a big difference to your family?

megandraper Tue 12-Mar-13 09:55:57

p.s. - my father was at work for a lot of the time during my childhood - but I have very strong memories of the time I was with him when my younger sibling was born. I was about your DC's age. Your DH could build something memorable from this time.

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