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Maternity nurse issues

(39 Posts)
Melpf Tue 12-Mar-13 02:01:54

I have 12 week old twins and a maternity nurse has been living with us. She sleeps in a room with the babies and wakes me up to feed. Tonight she overslept and I walked in to find her asleep holding one of the babies. I am now freaked and and want to sack her but don't know if I'm overreacting. Do maternity nurses often fall asleep holding babies? I thought it wasn't safe. I'm not paying her a fortune to fall asleep with my child! Help!

Melpf Fri 15-Mar-13 01:00:29

My twins were 7 weeks premature so are still very small and are not ready to sleep through the night. I am a first time mum and suffer from depression so need help to care for them. The maternity nurse had had the weekend off and had slept during the day. she didn't even apologise and didn't even think she had anything to apologise for. I contacted the agency and they told her to leave which she did. I would have kept her if I thought she was good in all other respects but she was rude and a real bully so I'm definitely better off without her. I don't need to be bullied by anyone including people on this forum!!

Reinette Fri 15-Mar-13 02:08:04

I hope no one here is bullying you! It sounds like a tough time for you, did the agency find someone wonderful to replace her with?? Don't worry, you'll get through this and it will, before you know it, be a distant memory. thanks

Blondeshavemorefun Fri 15-Mar-13 03:36:12

Sounds like you are better off without her. A Mn should be there to offer support to you and advise you on feeding and routines etc - not to bully you sad

The twins I had in oct nov and dec were 9weeks prem - just under 2lbs when born sad so ickle

Strapping 8mth'ers now smile

Take as much help as you need. Hope the agency can find you another Mn - if not would you consider a night nanny to give you a break during the night?

mrswishywashy Fri 15-Mar-13 07:50:45

I'm sorry you had this experience with a MN. We are all not like that and the good ones offer help, support and advice leaving you well rested and ready look after the babies by yourself. Hopefully the agency has found you a more suitable MN or night nanny so you can get some rest.

Mrscupcake23 Fri 15-Mar-13 08:00:28

Take no notice of anyone else. Twins are exhausting and it will get better. Hope you get a better maternity nurse this time.

fraktion Fri 15-Mar-13 08:25:43

She sounds terrible. No-one should be bullying a new mum of preemies, especially not someone whose role is to support her. You're well rid.

Will the agency support you in finding someone else? It would be pretty bad for their reputation if they didn't.

NutellaNutter Fri 15-Mar-13 11:02:25

Think it is a sacking offence. Baby could have died. For a mother it is highly regrettable but forgive able, for a paid professional no way.

FlorenceMattell Fri 15-Mar-13 17:07:10

Hi OP

You did the right thing, was not professional and dangerous.
Hope you get some one who meets your family's needs.
Agree with Nutella for a mother forgiveable for a paid maternity nurse, sacking offence.

Derbys Fri 15-Mar-13 20:03:43

Your mn sounds just like the one I have taken over from. She was very controlling over the mother and did some very strange things which I would class as dangerous while looking after the twins. Did she work in the midlands before being with you?

Blondeshavemorefun Fri 15-Mar-13 20:43:16

Was she an older lady called Margaret ?

I took over from one that bullied the mum and made her feel inadequate sad at looking after her 8 wee prem twins last April

I really had to restore the mums confidence in the 12 weeks or so i was there - - which I did smile

Pro not the same - but this lady apparently dealt in prem twins .,,,,,,,,,

Melpf Mon 18-Mar-13 13:03:15

My maternity nurse worked in Derbyshire before she came to me, she wasn't called Margaret. I don't want to dwell on it I have someone else for a few weeks Who is much better and I want to use the time to try and build up my confidence and get my girls into a routine that I will be able to follow when she goes. At least I am more relaxed now!

Derbys Mon 18-Mar-13 13:22:22

Hi op. Glad you have found someone else, I'm sure you will have a better experience than with the last mn. Did the old mn's name begin with A by any chance? If I did we are talking about the same one!

Blondeshavemorefun Mon 18-Mar-13 14:59:53

seems there are a few unprofessional mn's scattered about sad

but glad you have found a new one who you are happy with smile x

MNPin2013 Mon 18-Mar-13 23:42:59

Seems so Blondes, some of the CV's parents I work with have had is shocking.

Same to for a nanny 1 family interviewed who said the following :
Babies don't need bottles after 4 yes 4 months of age.
That a routine is good but there is no need to wake a baby to feed it to stay on track.
Going out is great when they can walk.
The naughty step is more effective in nursery settings but children learn not to do something once they have sat on it for as long as it takes as more.
Art is ok when they are toddlers.

All opposite to what she told the agency and she had glowing praise for the baby that had slept thru the whole interview!!

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