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Should I change my baby's nursery - he's not settling in HELP!

(7 Posts)
MumofPravir Tue 22-Jan-13 14:30:27

My 14 month old has started nursery 2 months back, 2 consecutive days a week. And he's not settling in! He is tearful most of the days and doesnt eat and sleep as much as he would when he's home. The key worker that nursery assigned to him was off most of the days when he started and now again due to health reasons she's away for 1-2 months. So throught this time my baby has not had the opportunity to bond with one person. Each day there is a different girl assigned to him and this system is not helping him at all! It is an ofsted rated 'Outstanding' nursery and is indeed a good nursery and other than this one issue I have no complaints at all. I mean even when he is tearful he is given lots of cuddles, though with a different worker each time!

I am feeling disappointed and anxious. Each day he is nursery I am not able to concentrate on my work and keep ringing nursery, only to be told he's tearful today! Should I consider changing the nursery.

afussyphase Tue 22-Jan-13 15:13:54

If you can, I'd consider changing the nursery, but it's probably worth getting more information first - there aren't always loads of convenient good childcare options around, after all, so I'm guessing you want this one to work! So first, have you asked what their plans are to help him settle in? Couldn't they change key workers to set him up with someone constant, possibly having more settled, older children with more changing key workers? Could they at least try the same person for 2 weeks to see if it helps, for example? Another suggestion - is it possible for you to go and see what they're doing during the day, by collecting him early or going back in half an hour after you left, on some pretext? Knowing what they're actually doing might help you suss out why he's 'tearful'. It's likely just fine, but I know someone who found out about BIG discrepancies between what she was told was going on and what was actually going on, by dropping in early to collect a few times...

ZuleikaD Tue 22-Jan-13 15:28:50

Have you considered other childcare options, such as a childminder?

botandhothered Tue 22-Jan-13 16:34:07

I would suggest a childminder, too. Much quieter, more home like environment, and one person doing the caring. Some babies just find nurseries noisy and unsettling.
I once did a weeks supply work in a day nursery and one little girl who was 3 yrs old cried the whole week I was there. The staff said she'd been like this since she started at 6 mths old! It was heartbreaking to watch.
I would suggest a nanny, but with one child it works out very expensive.

lynniep Tue 22-Jan-13 17:07:08

I would consider other options, yes. He needs consistency - in both his surroundings and the nursery staff in order to settle. If he's not getting this its not surprising he's upset.
CM is a good option as others have said, or is there another convenient nursery you can try.

My DS1 would not settle at his first nursery. He had about 15 settling sessions and screamed for the whole time at every single one. They wouldnt let me stay with him and he just couldnt handle it. The second nursery we tried let me stay with him for slowly decreasing lengths of time until I could leave the building with the key worker he was used to, and he wasn't fussed by my going (ok he'd cry at first but then be fine).

Very often they settle as soon as you go - this clearly isn't happening and you definately need to try another route. Good luck.

Have you had a discussion with the nursery manager about the situation? Are they aware that you are concerned?

LadyWidmerpool Tue 22-Jan-13 21:34:35

Two days a week isn't very much time to get used to the environment so he needs consistency. I would definitely talk to the manager. They need to assign him a key person immediately and work with you to come up with a proactive plan. Good luck.

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