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Is this acceptable?

(44 Posts)
WannagotoDallas Thu 17-Jan-13 08:11:32

Hi all, could I ask a quick couple of questions of other nannies on here? I am feeling a bit annoyed, but not sure if I should be or not.

Firstly, when doing the school run, would you feel happy about collecting another child who is not your employers' on a regular basis being responsible for them for about half an hour?

Also, what would you do in a situation where you were told to pick up the extra child but not left an car seat for child (thereby making it illegal)?

botandhothered Thu 17-Jan-13 08:35:24

Wouldn't have a problem picking up an extra child as long as I had been consulted and that child's parents were paying me for the half hour.
Would not under any circumstances let a child get into car without a car seat.

Mogandme Thu 17-Jan-13 08:38:02

Depends on how regular/how long/if I was being paid extra/if I knew in advance the dates-days etc.

No carseat no childcare

stella1w Thu 17-Jan-13 08:43:38

Not a nanny but i wd refuse to pick up a child with no car seat. I wd also expect my boss to consult with me abou the extra child and offer to pay a bit more.

fraktion Thu 17-Jan-13 08:48:27

What the others said. Extra child ok as long as I was consulted, paid and the contract modified (just so they were clear that it was this one child and it was all formal).

WannagotoDallas Thu 17-Jan-13 08:55:01

Thank you for replies. I am not being paid for the extra child, it is part of a reciprocal arrangement between parents to share school runs. I guess I was rather upset about the missing car seat, in the past on the odd occasion where I had to collect the extra child, I have always asked them to leave a car seat for me, however I wasn't informed this time and found myself having to get one at very short notice (the extra child's mum was at home so I collected one from her on way which kind of begs the question why I'm doing school run for her when she doesn't work). Anyway I feel justified in going to my employees and saying someone must provide car seat without being seen to make a fuss.

botandhothered Thu 17-Jan-13 09:07:10

Ok, so sometimes you don't have to do the school run, because the other Mum does it?
If that's the case then I suppose it's not a big deal.
Has it always been this way or is it a recent thing? Did they consult you first?
You must tell them that you can't be hunting around for an extra carseat in the mornings and that they need to have a spare in the back of the car, otherwise it's too much aggro and you won't do it.

iluvkids Thu 17-Jan-13 10:54:23

no car seat - no childcare.

JustFabulous Thu 17-Jan-13 13:42:03

I will never understand why people take such risks with their children's lives. Even if it wasn't illegal I wouldn't drive a child without them being safely strapped in.

kaybee75 Fri 25-Jan-13 00:02:03

I'm a mum with a nanny for my 2 and would definitely not pay extra for the additional child for 1/2 an hour as where we are the parents and the nannies all constantly help each other out with reciprocal arrangements for pick ups and drop offs. I don't think you should be expected to do this without a car seat - maybe its an oversight - sure if you raise it and say you need an extra car seat to keep in the boot for these occasions they would be fine to pay for one.

ZuleikaD Fri 25-Jan-13 05:42:18

It sounds to me as though your employer offered to 'lend' you to the other parent on a regular basis - rather as though they owned you and you had no say in it! I wouldn't do it without an amendment to the contract and definitely no seat = no childcare.

SaraBellumHertz Fri 25-Jan-13 06:03:49

As a mum with a nanny I would not expect to pay my nanny to collect a child and keep them for thirty minutes where there was a reciprocal agreement in place, in the same way I don't pay my nanny when one of the DCs has a friend for a play date nor deduct her pay when she has child free days due to the DCs being elsewhere.

Car seat issue would depend on a number of issues: whether it was a one off and a genuine error in forgetting to leave it. Plus of course age of child: my 22mth old travels NOWHERE without a carseat, my 8 year old occasionally does.

I have to say I don't like your "she doesn't work, why can't she pick up her own kid" tone hmm

SnowBusiness Fri 25-Jan-13 06:31:34

If it's reciprocal do you have days when you don't collect your charges?

xkcdfangirl Fri 25-Jan-13 06:50:17

It depends whether you are getting the benefit of the other half of the reciprocal arrangement.

If you are not, then I think it's perfectly reasonable to charge for the extra child. If the reciprocal arrangement means that you get a time which is paid for fully but with fewer children than you are being paid for on another day then it would not be reasonable.

You should certainly kick up a fuss about the car seat issue and charge a fee for the inconvenience if you are expected to travel to pick one up again.

SaraBellumHertz Fri 25-Jan-13 07:40:02

"Charge a fee for the inconvenience""
Ha ha ha!

The OP is a nanny, in loco parentis and presumably well paid to be so and driving her bosses car. Stuff happens during the course of any day: a child needs taking to a non regular appointment; forgets a bag that needs collecting etc these sorts if errands are part and parcel of working life.

xkcdfangirl Fri 25-Jan-13 07:55:35

I may have misunderstood - I was assuming the extra errand was taking place in her own time outside of the time paid for by her employer. If she's being paid for that time then you are right.

Strix Fri 25-Jan-13 09:25:20

I think nannies are paid by the hour, and not by the child. However, as a nanny employer, I would not make an arrangement to regularly add a child to the morning routine without discussing it with the nanny first. As a one off, I might offer the nanny to a friend in a pinch, but not every day.

I think the OP is talking about an additional child during her normal working hours, and not a change to her hours.

Regarding the car seat, agree with everyone else comments that is an absolute requirement.

drinkyourmilk Fri 25-Jan-13 10:24:41

As a nanny, unless it caused a huge problem (ie couldn't get to regular after school activities or children hated each other) I'm not bothered about collecting other children. You never know when you will need a favor.
Wrt car seats, I'd refuse point blank to collect without a car seat, and unless it was easy for me to.collect en route wouldexpect the car seat to be brought tome or left at school for collection.

WannagotoDallas Fri 25-Jan-13 11:08:59

Have bought an extra car seat and parents are reimbursing me so that is problem solved. I guess I wanted to be sure I wasn't being taken advantage of. As far as the reciprocal bit goes I do the afternoon school runs each day ( I work from 12 to 5.30) so I don't do the morning school runs anyway. Perhaps I should have said. Anyway, it seems it is normal practice for a nanny, so that is fine, I have only been doing the job for a short time and don't know any other nannies. As for my comment about the mum being at home, it was a bit off the cuff. She does work normally and I was a bit stressed about it all, as I had to drive out of my way to get the car seat, thereby making me late as it was a bit of the panic, so didnt mean to be offensive. Thanks for your replies anyway.

juneybean Fri 25-Jan-13 11:10:52

I'd expect my going rate for a nanny share for that half an hour if it was a regular occurrence.

fraktion Fri 25-Jan-13 16:52:11

I don't feel it's normal either as a nanny employer for it to be assumed that you'll do this without any kind of recompense. It's disrespectful and thoughtless of you employer to just land it on you. A reciprocal arrangement is fine, but if the parents want you to take on their share of reciprocation they should be paying share rates. Also it should have been discussed.

Who exactly is your boss here? Are you ultimately responsible to family 1 and their needs take priority (eg sick child so you don't do the school run and don't pick up family 2's child) or are you obliged to do the school run for family 2?

There are potential insurance issues (are you actually nannying this child? Are they covered by your liability insurance? Your car insurance?) so I really don't think arrangements like this should be nebulous.

If someone wanted to borrow my nanny (or my au pair) I'd expect them to pay them or at least get them some kind of treat if it's a one off. Equally if reciprocal favours are arranged I don't expect my nanny to look after someone else's child because that child's mother looked after DS for me. I organise a time I can return the favour. If it has to be on nanny's time I pay because she's doing extra work for me in my stead. She isn't an extension if me or a possession! If it was to cover the nanny's absence that's different but usually it's the nanny who organises cover for that as she knows who's likely to be ok with it on that working day.

Blondeshavemorefun Fri 25-Jan-13 17:01:19

so basically your mb gains not doing the odd am school run and you gain a child a few times a week

seems a tad unfair esp if the parents didnt ask you

not having a car seat is a no car and i would be furious if wasnt expected to collect a child and no seat given

SaraBellumHertz Fri 25-Jan-13 17:48:49

fraktion what do you do when your DC have friends over? Do you pay extra?

My DC probably have at least 2 play dates a week (one each for the two old enough) and I am firmly of the view that dealing with those DC is part of the nanny job description.

I'm truly amazed that others think it goes beyond normal expectations

fraktion Fri 25-Jan-13 18:01:22

Having friends to play is an entirely different kettle of fish because they're usually reciprocated by nanny having fewer children at some point when the play date is returned and the DC amuse each other, so over 2 hours it balances out the extra work involved in an additional pickup, set of possessions, child to look after.

This is just hassle for the OP and I used to deeply resent as a nanny being told asked to pick up a child and drop them home without the favour being returned or any appreciation. Most parents thankfully recognise that you're doing the rubbish bit without any fun if you run a taxi service for them.

Blondeshavemorefun Fri 25-Jan-13 18:04:19

as frak said, playdates are different from boss's assuming and lending their nannys services without asking the nanny first

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