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DS does not have friends at CM- is this a problem?

(19 Posts)
Hiddenbiscuits Thu 17-Jan-13 00:34:39

DD (2) is cared for by a childminder 4 days a week. She is happy there but i realised that now that older mindees have gone on to school or nursery she is the oldest. Other mindee is a baby around 6 months. CM is lovely and plays all the time with DD and takes her for walks and library but they do not attend any toddler groups. Does it matter at this age (only just turned 2) that she doesn't have contact with other children, do they need to be socialising or is it more important once they are a bit older?

TheSecondComing Thu 17-Jan-13 00:35:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

calmlychaotic Thu 17-Jan-13 01:09:47

I think socialising is important at this age learning to share and take turns and play nicely together, can you find a toddler group or class at a children's centre or something and suggest you would like your child to attend it, is there a reason she doesn't go to groups most cm do.

Hiddenbiscuits Thu 17-Jan-13 02:15:34

I know CM does go to a group on a wednesday but thats DD's day with me, i think that because she childminds with her husband they have each other for company so don't go to make other CM friends or socialise if that makes sense. There are 3 surestart centres within walking distance though so perhaps i should suggest it- don't want to sound like I'm telling her how to do her job though!

Hiddenbiscuits Thu 17-Jan-13 02:24:04

Then again i don't want to rock the boat and upset CM if it isn't all that important for DD's development at this age, CM is so kind and patient with her and they have a great bondsmile

minderjinx Thu 17-Jan-13 06:20:31

Could you swap your days? If you suggested to your CM that you would like your DD to have the opportunity to go to a group perhaps she could take her on the wednesday without changing her routine too much and you could have her at home a different day (or your CM might offer to change her group day to include your daughter). Or could you take her to a group yourself? I'd say ideally she should have some interaction with children of a similar age, but it's more important that she is happy.

lechatnoir Thu 17-Jan-13 17:56:45

I go to just 1 toddler group a week because it's the only one I / the children all seem to like however one of my mums asked whether I'd consider taking her LO to a music group if she paid & I was very happy to have another activity & if like me she only has 1 other baby then it would be no further cost to her either.

ZooAnimals Thu 17-Jan-13 20:07:05

She should be socialising, but that doesn't have to be at toddler groups. Do they have playdates/meet up with people in the park? When they go to the library are they meeting other people or is it rhyme time or something that would mean other children are there? I would gently raise it with the childminder, she shouldn't be upset with that.Particularly if you tell her first how much DD likes being there and how you like the other stuff she does with DD etc.

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 17-Jan-13 20:10:56

surprised cm doesnt meet with other cm at either M&T, parks/soft plays/sure start centres etc

tbh its prob boring for your dd to be on her own 9-3 and only a baby to play with

BeehavingBaby Thu 17-Jan-13 20:15:54

Sounds fine to me, my DD loves her days with CM when it's just her. We have a busy house though. When DD1 and DD2 were the same age as your DD and the baby we all just used to entertain each other.

housesalehelp Thu 17-Jan-13 21:34:10

if she is happy I wouldn't worry at the moment - have you thought about her going to pre school - she will get 15 free hours the term after she is 3 - and my DS was taken by the childminder - you can often start earlier than 3 although you might have to pay extra eg for the pre school and the CM

Hiddenbiscuits Fri 18-Jan-13 17:16:58

Thanks for the replies i do take her to a music and dance group on my day off and she doesn't show much interest in the other children! Maybe in 6 months or so she will start wanting to be around them and play with them a bit more, not sure as have nothing to compare to

doughnut44 Fri 18-Jan-13 22:12:18

I wouldn't worry too much. If you are concerned though have a chat with you CM and express your concerns - I think Ofsted like to see that the CM encourages children to take an active part in the local community x

Children don't tend to actively play together until 3, but at 2 may have gone beyond the watching other children play stage. This link explains the stages of play. I don't know if I would be concerned or not as you presumably chose a CM in part for the "home-from-home" environment, so didn't expect there to be direct peers there. What do they do all day?

ReetPetit Sat 19-Jan-13 17:00:41

as a parent i wouldn't be happy with this. a 2 year old should be learning to play with - not alongside - other children - learning about sharing/turn taking etc. why does she only do one group a week? it's not fair to keep your dd in isolaton with only a baby for company.
myself and the other cms i know do a group every day - 2 years old need the company of children their own age imo.

Hiddenbiscuits Sun 20-Jan-13 03:10:14

That is a helpful link thank you! They have lots of fun together playing shops, play doh, gardening stories- i have looked into the pre school that CM drops off and picks up from and they take children from 2 and a half so will put her name down for a 2 or 3 morning once she gets to that age smile does anyone know- once the 15 free hours kick in at 3 do i have to use the full 15 hours or could we just use part of it? 5 morning of school work seems a lot to me but i suppose things may be different in a years time x

ReetPetit Sun 20-Jan-13 11:01:14

I think you have to use the full 15 hours although if it's a pre school, its not staturory education so whether you chose to send her for the full 15 hours is to some extent up to you....
if the pre school take from 2.5 I would suggest you put her name down now, as they do have waiting lists normally.
i wouldn't worry about 'school work' It's not school work as such but it does prepare them from 3 for reception class at 4.

housesalehelp Thu 24-Jan-13 20:38:04

agree put her name down now - and as far as I know you don't need to use the full 15 hours - and agree its really really not school work -its learning through play - suggest you go and visit to see - my DC start at about 2.5 at pre-school also at CM - for 2 days a week and then went up to 5 days a week when the funding kicked in

DIYapprentice Thu 24-Jan-13 21:37:59

No you don't have to use the full 15 hours. I used 14 hours for a term, and am only using the full 15 now.

I think your CM should be taking her somewhere, whether it is a toddler group, or just meeting with another CM with her DC. 4 days is a lot with no interaction with her children her age.

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