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Is my aupair lazy or is it me !!

(57 Posts)
Newtothisstuff Sun 09-Dec-12 19:29:54

I'm currently on week 3 of a trial before our aupair starts properly in January (when I go back to work)
She is turning into the complete opposite of what she assured us she was.
She said she was a confident driver (the main part of her job is to do the school run) she has only driven once and that was around the housing area we live an refused to go on the main road, even with my husband instructing.
She hasn't got out of bed until 8.30 every morning and doesn't get dressed until 11.00 I've tried dropping hints that I have to leave at 7.30am when I'm back at work and that she should come on the school run but she says its too cold.
She's also so untidy. She doesn't do the tiny bit of cleaning that was expected (emptying dishwasher, loading washer/dryer), that's not too much of a big deal tbh but I don't want to have to clean up after her constantly like I am doing. I have 2 kids and have enough cleaning up after them !!
She also keeps disappearing out with her friends, during the day, she will have some time off during the week as my DH works shifts but maybe only 1-2 days plus evenings and weekends, so far out of the 2 weeks she's been here, she's probably disappeared 10 of the 14 days.
Am I being totally out of order expecting her to at least follow the schedule a little bit even tho I'm not back at work yet ??

JustFabulous Wed 12-Dec-12 19:57:24

It is your decision whether she does..

OutragedFromLeeds Wed 12-Dec-12 20:14:01

Whereabouts are you OP? Could find an au pair through word of mouth? One that's already here.

BRANdishingMistletoe Wed 12-Dec-12 20:20:43

I've had a quick look at GreatAuPair, which is where I recruited my current au pair, and there are some likely people available from Jan. There are a few graduates on there who want to improve their English. I quite like graduates, they can get out of bed regularly enough to pass exams, plus they have a focus because they need to learn English to get a proper job, they're not just drifting along looking for free accomodation and an easy life.

Would you consider a male au pair?

If you shortlist now and fire off introductory emails and a job description straight-away you could be Skype interviewing by the end of next week.

Newtothisstuff Wed 12-Dec-12 21:41:35

I've never really thought about a Male ? Have you any experience ? Not sure about one with 2 girls.. I've just re opened my aupair world account !! How do I go about telling my current one the deal ? Or do I wait until she's gone and chicken out and email.. Unless she tells me first hmm

blueshoes Wed 12-Dec-12 21:59:16

I have had aupair emergencies before and am generally able to hire aupairs from aupairworld within 2-3 weeks from the start of looking to them arriving. 14 Jan is do-able. I would start now.

BRANdishingMistletoe Wed 12-Dec-12 23:30:52

My current au pair is male and he's great (although not a great cook). I liked my previous au pair better and she was female, but I'm not sure that was particularly gender related, more that she and I are both quite geeky and current au pair isn't. The DC (1 boy, 1 girl) don't seem to care which gender the au pair is, they love both the current and previous one, although I think DS does slightly prefer a male. Perhaps if you only have DD's they might prefer a woman. I was more focused focused on getting someone sporty and easy-going to suit the DC's personality than on gender.

I do think with men that because it's a bit harder for them to get a position as an au pair that it's more likely that they really want to do it and enjoy spending time with kids, rather than thinking of it as an easy option as some women might.

I always look for someone who has lived away from home and who has done something with kids other than babysitting for friends/relatives. My first au pair had worked as a swimming teacher and my current had worked in summer camps.

AlcoPop Wed 12-Dec-12 23:51:38

Sounds like you need a new AP and cut your losses with this one. sad
We got all but one of our eight APs through aupair-world.net

As you've found it's all about laying out the expected routine in infinite detail from first or second contact.
Be bold. There are many candidates but the one you commit to will have to be right from the start.

Given the short notice you may have to concede on something like duration; the January girl may only be for a few months and so you'll be looking pretty much straight away.

We've done this when one girl was stopped from coming by her Mum at the airport sad

Best of luck.

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