Mumsnet Talk

My baby is 4 months old and very very clingy. We have found ourselves unintentionally co-sleeping with him and he also demands a huge amount of attention. We can only get him in his cot for the briefest of time. I plan on returning to work in about 3-4 months time and am really worried that no nursery or childminder will want to have him if I am up front about the issue or will refuse to keep taking him if I stay quiet on the subject. Is this a common problem? I am worried about how he will cope anyway.

TIA

You need to be upfront about it. Some CM's will be fine with a clingy baby and others less so. The ones that aren't keen will only give you notice in time if it's difficult for them, so there's no point in trying to 'skip over it'. If the CM most has after-schoolers it will be less of an issue than if they have other little ones who need a lot of attention. Also, your baby might be quite different with someone else in their house. Try not to worry about it, you'll find the right person if you are open & honest about it.

Hi Strawberry, my son sounds like he was really similar to yours at 4 months. He always wanted to be held, needed cuddles to sleep, hardly napped, etc. But by 8 months when I went back to work he was generally more settled and he loved nursery but is now with a CM and loves that too. He hardly slept at nursery though and is only a bit better at CM's. I told both nursery and CM that it was hard to get him to nap and both were fine. He was initially "clingy" at nursery with his key worker but tbh I felt they had unreasonable expectations of independence for an 8 month old! So, just wanted to reassure you that things can change a lot in those 3-4 months and there may not be a problem.

DS1 was a very clingy baby, co slept, bf to sleep etc. I had to return to work when he was about 9 months, and he went to nursery full time.

The first few weeks were tough on both of us, but he soon got used to being at nursery and fell into the pattern of how they slept. He never had a bottle or anything whilst he was there and was absolutely fine much to my surprise. We continued to co sleep until he was about 18 months and bf until about 21 months

Now at nearly three he loves going to nursery and is totally happy there. I know this wont always be the case with every child and their care provider but I do think you need to start visiting potential places now to make sure you are 100% happy, and not settle for a second rate place at the last minute. Normally the good places have very long waiting lists

I've been in childcare for along time in daycare and now a childminder. 9 months can be diffcult time to settle any child. Some will settle well, and some will take time. Choose a nursery or childminder that makes you feel that you and your child will be happy attending.

My DD was the same at 4 months and this is when she went to her childminder. After a month the childminder had her napping regularly. Sometimes I think it takes someone who is patient and kind but alos a bit distanced from the situation to get clingy children to be less clingy.. As others have said, the right minder is definitely out there for you. What area do you live in?